about

hahahaha was i on crack as a kid or what?

Anywayzzz -- Hey loveys. My name's Martha and I'm here to help you on pretty much anything. Ask and I'll do my very best to answer. I love giving advice and a lot of people say I am a beastly advice giver...so, ask away!

p.s. my screen name is x0mrm0x if you don't want to have your question open to everyone. Also, if you need advice from a guy my friend mark gives good advice...his link is under my favorite columnists.



advice

I have a halloween/costume party the 22nd and i have no clue what to go as. I want it to be sexy and clever, but not too sexy cuz im 14. uhmm..if it helps im 5'7'' blonde. PLEASE HELP!!! Scary stuffs ok too

well what i'm doing is like going 80's.

you know, crimped/frizzy hair in a side ponytail, neon colored tights or fishnets, like biking shorts/spandex, whacky/bright makeup, etc...you know, the whole 80's jazzerciser shabang lol.


...or you could be samara from the ring haha





♥hope i helped

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is there ne other way for a guy to pleasure himself other then jacking off??

um not that i know of ... lol sry for such a short answer





♥martha

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Hi, i have a problem. Last month i started goin out with this hot guy and everyone said we made a good couple. Then all the sudden he started playin this computer game called''runescape'' or something. Now he plays it nonstop and we spend barely any time together. What should I do b/c i don't want to lose him but i don't understand how the game can be more important than me. Has anything like this ever happened to u?

yerrp, runescape is a bitch. my 2 friends used to play it [both guys] and they would CONSTANTLY talk about it and like exclude everyone because they were too interested in their game haha.

but really, you just have to tell him how you feel. if you don't say anything, he'll think you don't mind it and keep continuing with what he's doing. just be honest and what not.

hope i helped! ♥

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how do you get the moving letters across the screen for your myspace wen you like want to leave a comment to someone

" < marquee > Y0UR TEXT HERE < / marquee > "



only, don't include the spaces. =]

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How do you increase the time of ejaculation, becomes when ever i jack off, i will ejaculate for about 10 seconds, but then stops.

umm i'm not exactly sure how/if you can -- but if you jack off, and cum real quickly -- does that mean that you orgasm that quick? if not, than i guess it doesn't matter because the goal is to have an orgasm right?


IM/inbox with anything else

hope i helped

♥martha

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i reallly like this guy but he only likes me as a really good friend...he has grinded with me before and acted attracted to me but when it comes down to it hes like i dont like you in that way. What do I do?

signed
heartbroken

ok either he's an ass for leading you on ... or he just is messing with your head ... i bet if you asked him about it ''if you don't like me, how come you grinded with me and acted like you liked me?'' ... he'd say ''who cares, it wasn't a big deal and it doesn't even mean anything anyway'' ... i say try to move on, or just push harder [that sounded wrong but thats ok haha] to get him


anymore questions, inbox/IM me

hope i helped though
--mrsm ♥

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how do i get a link for my column on to my aim profile and not copy the website code and so i can name it was ever i want but basically i want the link for my AIM profile and not the website address thanks

once you have the web address copied and ready to paste in into somewhere -- go to your aim profile, and highlight any word you want -- then click on "link" right above the input box -- and then it will say like "http://www.________.com" as the URL (the blank will say whatever word you highlighted) ... then paste the advice column address into the URL space and click ok -- and then say finish -- check your buddy info to make sure it worked!



hope i helped =]

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I am 15 my bf is 16. I know he doesn't have a lot of money and I was wondering, do you think it is OK if I offer to pay sometimes? I don't want to hurt his feelings or make him mad. Should I ask him about it?

if i were you...this is what i would say/do:
**ex: you guys are out, eating at some diner/restaurant, when the check comes...and he starts to get out his money...**
"no no, cmon, i'll pay this time...you pay for everything all the time and...idk i feel like selfish for not even offering to pay half!..." and maybe add in something like "how about we alternate paying...or just each of us pay half everytime...that way i don't feel bad =]"

hope i helped.

--martha

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is this a nice phone? i really like it..
are phones that arnt flip phones out of style?
im willing to pay $70 for this phone its really nice.

http://www.t-mobile.com/products/images.asp?phoneid=242032&class=phone

a lot of people have phones that aren't flip phones...and no, that phone's fine! good thing its not one of those old clunky nokia phones lol.

hope i helped.

--martha

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i'm 14/f, and i need new sneakers. can anyone recommend me any brand of sneakers(not nike because EVERYONE has them) or any kind of sneakers that they think is really good and looks really nice?

well if you like...a skater or punk-ish look...i would go for [classic] chuck taylors [a.k.a. converse all star] or vans/DCs...you can find these sneakers online at journeys.com or pacsun.com [or just at the stores themselves]

hope i helped.

--martha

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ok so my bf and i were on a date at the movies and we were kissing and then this totally rude girl that we know stands up and walks out of the theater huffing and puffing and comes back in with the manager and we were asked to either move to the back of the theater or movie, so we get up and leave cuz we were soo pissed...then i was at a party like a week later and she was all trying to be my best friend- i just ignored her and now shes all mad at me- i want to tell her why but i dont know how...help! =[

ok...here's what you should say: "ok ______, i don't really understand why YOU'RE mad at ME ... like, ok remember when you told the manager about me and my bf hooking up in the movie? ... well i thought it was kind of rude because ... ok well just imagine if you were with your bf and that happened to you ... idk i just didn't think it was cool ... so yeah, thats why i was ignoring you at the party ... please don't be mad at me ... can we just kinda forget about this?"

hope i helped
and inbox/IM me with any more questions.

--martha

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Hi, I am looking for music to put on my myspace, except I can't find any sites with music! I like punk rock/rock so does anyone have any web sites where I can get music codes? Thank you so much && I will rate 5's.

musicvideocodes.com


hope i helped.

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my friends bf is always flirting with different girls(including me and my other friends)- he actually invites some of them to come over to his house. so we were working on a skl project and he outs his hand on my knee. he comes in for the kiss but i stop him. i told my other friends and some of them say hes done the same thing to them- weve tried to tell his gf, but she wont listen....what should i do?

~*~

you have to ALL tell her at the same time. it might seem like you're going to overwhelm her, but thats whats gonna work. you have to convince her that what hes doing is very wrong and piggish...and that she shouldn't go out w/ him. also, talk to the boyfriend. scare him a little--you know, tell him that if he doesn't stop being an ass and flirting w/ other girls and what not, then you're going to tell his girlfriend...

any other questions--inbox/IM me

hope i helped

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how do you cum, i try to jack off, but nothing happens??

you're probably just not jerking off long enough. for some guys it takes longer to cum...just do it longer and you should cum...but if that doesn't work...inbox me again...

hope i helped.

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im kinda going out with this guy who is like in love with me! but my friend used to really like him- like a lot... she acts like she dosnt care but then she was like- "okay, lets tlk about something else"...but the reason i think all these guys like me is because of my big boobs. but anyway- its not like my friend to confront me about something. so she must still like this guy. but he has a crush on me.i know it- almost every guy does(unless their gay...hh)

i guess i want to know why shes changed...and if you think she still thinks about this guy

well i think that she changed her feelings or whatever is because shes like trying to forget about him OR she just doesn't want to talk about him because it like bothers her that he likes her friend (you)...and like she doenst want to be reminded of that.

she most likely still thinks about the guy, but to me, you shouldn't be worried about her like, "taking your man" or something haha. because if shes your real friend-then she won't even think about screwing things up w/ you and him!

any other questions--inbox/IM me...hope i helped!

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I asked the question about the hair growing around my vag.. and how long till i get my period and how can i tell when im going to get it?



++ can i practive putting tampons on? or will it harm everyhitng?

you're probably going to get your period soon...since you started growing pubic hair. since you're like just about to start your period, i wouldn't recommend using tampons just yet...and if you feel the need to wear them once you get it, only use them when you go swimming or something. and no tampons won't harm anything...they hurt the first few times you use them, but you eventually get used to them.

hope i helped.

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Have you ever used a dildo?

no i have not used a dildo...hope thats all you were looking for haha.

hope i helped.

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i have a problem- its kinda confusing-

i used to have a major crush on a guy and ALL my friends knew it(i care tho) but i kinda just forgot about him...but then my friend kinda start going out with him- and i pretend im okay with it, but in my group of friends its like a rule that you dont go near another persons crush or ex-crush. and note im not a person that confronts ppl about stuff... but @ sleepovers all she tlks about is how much he likes her and how she is like gods gift to men! its majorly annoying- shes always tlkin about how big her boobs are((which they arnt...)) and all my friends feel the same way i do- even about the boy...how do i let her know this w/o making her mad and how do i get this boy out of my head?!?!

plz help me!

confront her about everything [its not as hard as it sounds]. do it on like aim or something [its way easier that way] but don't do it in a bitchy way. here's some stuff to say:

"ok...first off, it kinda bothers me how you always talk about your boyfriend...when i liked him a lot and then you just started going out with him...and i think it was kinda wrong...b/c like, everyone knew that i liked him...and then you go out with him...second, its a little annoying how conceited you're being. like when you say things about your boobs or 'i'm gods gift to men!'...and stuff like that...i don't want to like cause a fight or get you pissed at me...but i just had to let you know b/c it was all really bothering me"

all you have to do is send it. its really not that hard, trust me. and how to get the boy out of your head...i can't help ya there--thats been my problem forever. just try to move on and find another-better-guy.

hope i helped.

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I have a boyfriend and he really likes me and i like him but theres this other guy that i like alot and i see ihm all the time and he sees me i dont know what to do about ym boyfriend or what to do with the guy i like Plese help i rate high...
Sighned Cunfused

don't break up with your boyfriend just yet. wait and see if the other guy likes you back--because you wouldn't want to lose something...and gain nothing. but if you really feel bad liking some other guy while going out with someone else, then break up with him. just tell him gently, say something like 'i like you, but i also like someone else and if i continued going out w/ you while liking this other guy, that wouldn't be right, so i think it would be best if we were just friends...'

go with what you feel would be best.

hope i helped.

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hey!
i'm on a diet where i'm really watching what i eat, and not eating junk food or anything any more! but it's 9:35 at night..and i'm hungry! what can i have that won't cause me to gain weight? we don't have alot.. but suggestions would be soo helpful!

water!

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