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My name is Elly and I am 18 years old. I live in Michigan and I graduated High School in '07. I'm currently attending a great college, but I'm home for the summer. It's too nice outside to sit on the computer all day, so I might not be as active on here as I would like.I guess a good way to describe me is experienced. I've discovered a lot about life and I can't wait to discover more... while having fun at the same time of course! ...BUT, like everyone, I have experienced things in life that I rather wish I hadn't. And I also feel that those bad experiences qualify me to help others with this column.
I have been in a serious relationship for over two and a half years now. I personally know that love is a difficult thing to nurture. It takes a lot of work. Life is NOT a fairytale where two people can simply love each other and everything will just fall into place. It doesn't work like that in the real world.
People on Advicenators are starting to disappoint me. Everyone says "ooh I want to help! I've experienced EVERYTHING!" Yet, I can't tell you how many questions I see with answers like "you could have googled that" or "we're not going to do your homework" or "I'm so sick of 'wow does he like me?!' questions." I used to sort of be like that, but now I realize how hypocritical that is. If I know the answer to a question, I will answer to the best of my ability without making you feel stupid for asking it in the first place. Advicenators is going to turn into a pretty nasty place if people just keep brushing off questions like that.
Rate or don't rate. I really don't care. But don't give me a 1 just because I tell you something you don't want to hear. Go to your mom for advice if you want sugarcoated answers.
I can give excellent advice on:
relationships/sex
friendship
family issues
anything about animals (i worked at a vet for several years)
college
advice
i am trying to lose a lot of weight but my big concern is...will my boob size go down? i really want my boob size to go down too, but i'm hoping losing weight ill help it. please tell me if that will work.
More than likely it will, but only time will tell.
If you have a lot of body fat up there, then you will most definitely lose a bra size or too.
This year I am captain of my jv cheer squad. I am a sophomore. For next year, I'm captain again on jv, and I will be one of the oldest. I'd say I had a pretty good year as captain, my team listened ok, but I feel like they didnt listen to me respectfully, like they didnt always seem to respect what I said. I know that comes with being captain..but anyways for next years squad, its a bunch of new girls idk, except for 2, so i want some advice on ways to make my new squad respect me and know that im captain, but that I AM going to be reasonable and not a huge b*tch like everyone things captains are. What Im really asking is basically just give me some advice for the new squad that starts next month..we are also going to camp this year for the first time, and my coach wont be there so shes really counting on me. but i want the girls to listen and respect me like they should. and im not one of the captains that think im all that, i do respect everyone elses opinions, i just want more respect myself. thanks!!!!! =D
Since most of the girls are new, I have a feeling that they will look up to you more since they don't really know the ropes.
When you guys all get together for the first time, you should recite a little speech and explain all of your intentions to them. Tell them your plans for the squad for the year, tell them your ideas, tell them your open for opinions and suggestions, tell them you're excited to work with the team. Most importantly, say that as long as they respect you, you will respect them. If you make a strong opening speech to your squad, they will look up to you a lot more.
If you find any of the girls disrespecting you, pull her aside and talk to her one-on-one. Ask her politely why she's being disrespectful and if she has a problem with your policies as captain. If you talk one-on-one with her, she will listen better to what you have to say and would respect you a lot more than if you were to call her out in front of the entire squad.
ok so my mom went to eat lunch with me at school and wen she left this kid in my class was like "ok 2 things, first wat kind of ame is della?"(thats my moms name)"and second she had a fat butt!" and i felt like i wanted to punch him wat should i do?
Ignore him. He's just trying to get a rise out of you and upset you. Be thankful that your mom loves you enough to come see you at school.
If you let him know it bothers you, he will keep doing it because all he wants is to upset you. If he teases you about it again, walk away and go to your friends. He'll stop eventually don't worry.
I have a little bit of acne on my shoulders and upper arms. I have been using Neutrogena acne wash for the body, and it improved it but didn't completly get rid of it. I really want to be able to wear tank tops and stuff this summer, so I need a total solution. Are prescription drugs the only way to have completely clear skin if you have acne-prone skin like me? I've heard they work really well, but has anyone had perfect results with any kind of body wash? What about proactive, does it work for body acne?
answer any of these questions and you'll get a 5. or just say that you love the beatles. i'll still give you a 5.
Lol I love the beatles, but that's not why I'm answering your question!
Normally, I recommend Neutrogena body wash to people like yourself, so if it didn't clear it up completely, I'm thinking that a prescription is your best bet.
Proactive would most definitely work for body acne, but it can get a little on the expensive side. If you're willing to spend the money, proactive would definitely work for you.
On the other hand, if you have medical insurance, seeing a dermatologist and getting a prescription would be cheaper and would still most likely work for you. I was considering proactive, but I talking to my doctor first and she prescribed me a medicine and I only have to pay five bucks for a refill as opposed to the forty for proactive. More than likely he/she will give you a couple samples to try and you can find one that works best for you. Plus, you should ask for a cold spray. It really helps clear up the skin.
Just a couple other tips that might help you;
1) wash your shirts (bras too) wish a fragrance-free detergent. This can help prevent irritation.
2) Never wear a bra twice. Always wash it before you wear it again. The oils that build up in your bra strap could very likely cause irritation and thus bring on more acne.
15/girl/usa
alright, i woke up this morning immediatley with horrible cramps, that were in the ovary, and vagina area, which was terrible. I'm not on birth control and I am a virgin, so i dont know if that has anything to do with that. My period hasn't come this month yet, and it didnt come when i got the aching cramps. I don't get these cramps that often but the hurt very badly, i took 3 advil and lied down, i don't know really how to get rid of these or why they came in the first place?
if you could find out how to get rid of them quickly or effecivly, and why i got them in the first place please help me. thank-you!
As mentioned before, heating pads are very good for cramps. If you can't sit around with a heating bad, get those instant heat patches that will stick to your stomach so you can still walk around and do what you need to do.
I also know that bananas are a good cramp reliever.
As for the actual cause of the cramps, I'm going to guess your menstrual cycle. If you keep getting the cramps, but your period does not come, I would recommend talking to your doctor just to make sure it isn't something more serious.
13/f
hi this summer i wanna go to camp kiowa [texas]
and i have a few+1 questions:
1. do you think Kiowa U is better or Adeventure Kiowa?
2. do you know of any other site about camp kiowa besides campkiowa.com?
3. which one do you think would be funner?
4. do both locations have the same activities?
thanks so much
I'm guessing that very few people, if any at all, on advicenators would know the answer to the questions you are asking. If you want accurate information, I think it would be a good idea to contact the camp itself with your questions and concerns. I'm sure you saw the "request more info" link on the web site, but if not, here it is again:
http://www.campkiowa.com/request_info.aspx
Which ever camp you go to depends on what you are interested in at the moment. If you are looking more towards the future and want to know what college is like, it looks like Kiowa U would be the best option. If you're not into the whole college thing, Adventure Kiowa would be more fun for you.
Here are a list of activities for Kiowa U:
http://www.campkiowa.com/kiowa_u.aspx
And some activities for Adventure Kiowa:
http://www.campkiowa.com/adventure_enrichment.aspx?submenu=adventure_kiowa.aspx
me and my boyfriend have been together for a few months now. i love him to death. but we fight so much. i hate it. i feel like its tearing us apart. mostly we fight over, no trust, and how he doesnt care, i know he does but iidk.and i get so mad so fast. how do i stop getting mad over stupid stuff. how do we make our relationship better?
I'm definitely going through those same things with my boyfriend right now. I'm suddenly having issues with not trusting him and worrying when he gives me no reason to do so.
I realized that my worries were pushing him away, so I decided to do a couple things:
1) If he did something little that would normally throw me into a rage (like play video games while talking to me on the phone instead of giving me his full attention), I would calmly say "Why don't you give me a call back when you're done there?" The important this was that I didn't get mad over it, I just let it go and moved on. It's his loss in the end for not taking the time to talk to me. Next time you catch yourself getting pissed at him for something small, ask yourself "Will this even matter a year from now?" If the answer is no (which is usually likely), then just let it go and don't start an argument with him.
2) I made sure to spend a little time away from him here and there so as not to smother him. I don't know how often you see each other, but if you see each other EVERY SINGLE DAY, that could cause issues. Take two or three days to just do your own thing. The time apart will make you stronger because when you get to see each other, you'll be too happy to spend time together to argue. If you do plan on spending a couple days apart, don't call him 321412390 times a day. Keep it to a simple phone call, maybe one to say good night and see how your boyfriend's day went.
3) I stopped calling him nearly as much as I used to. If you really want to know if your boyfriend cares, wait for him to contact you. No matter how much you want to call him, just be patient and wait to see if he calls you to talk or make plans.
So far, these tips have made my relationship better and I hope they work for you. Good luck!
Im a girl in grade 12 and there is this one boy i've liked since grade 9. Me and him have been best friends since ive met him and we both used to like each other at one point. Me and him are very close to the point where we talk for hours on the fone, school and msn every day. He always used to make sexual jokes with me and we told each other last year that we used to like each other. Meanwhile, his close guy friend also liked me. Me and his friend started going out in june last year. Since then, me n my best friend continue to talk a lot but never in front of my bf. a couple weeks ago, me n my best friend went on a school trip to new york and on the bus ride home which was from 7 pm to 7 am, we made out. Me and my bf had broken up a month ago. It wasnt just a simple kiss, we kissed a lot fo times and when i woke up the next moring he was holding my hand .This is the firts time ivee gotten physical with him in my whoel life. When my bf, who still likes me, tried to beat him up, my best friend lied and said i made the move and that he never even liked me. I was mad at him for a week for lying but i realized its not worth runing a 4 yr friendship over.Was this just to save his butt and not ruin his reputation with his friend or is it the truth? Does my best friend like me but is lying to his friends? Or did he just use me physically?
Well, I'm guessing the only way to know for sure is by talking to him. All the reasons you mentioned could be true or none at all.
There are a couple things you should consider doing:
1) Tell your ex boyfriend to back off. Remind him that you are no longer together and it is none of his business who you are kissing.
2) Tell your best friend that you are hurt he lied. Ask him why he kissed you if it didn't mean anything. Ask him how he feels once and for all.
3) BUT before you do that, how do YOU feel? You never really said who you wanted to be with or if you wanted a boyfriend (at least I didn't see any hints). If you are interested in taking your friendship to the next level, this situation needs to be talked out. If you are not interested in a relationship from there, you should talk to your friend about keeping things friendly and not kissing anymore.
Good luck!
My parents are fighting. They are not considering a divorce but one in a while they just go at each other. It's really sad and since i am the oldest i want to do something about it. My little sisters get sad and cry when they fight and i want to help them. What can i do to make them realize what they are doing wrong? They both blame each other for things but truthfully it is always equally both their fault! I really need some good advice. Please don't give me the "talk to them" answer because right know i don't want to start anything else. Please help me. I really want to fix this becuase everytime they fight it bring up all these past things from like 15 years ago! Who cares about those things! Please help me. (sorry if this is long, i just feel very unstable and sad right now).
You know I went through the same thing with my parents. When I was younger and they fought, they just brushed me off and told me to never mind. All I wanted was to help them and they just pushed me away. Now that I am older, they respect my opinion a lot more. While they still fight A LOT, I know that if I am home I can sort of be the peace keeper.
When your parents fight, you should try to get out of the house. Take your little sisters to the park. Bring some books and things to play with and don't come back until the three of you feel a little better.
You personally cannot stop the two of them fighting. They may need professional help. If they haven't realized that their arguments are affecting you and your sisters by now, they are not going to. Talk to your school counselor (or better yet another family member you trust) about all this. I'm sure they can help in some way.
If you aren't comfortable doing that, try to catch your parents on a day when things are calm and they aren't fighting. Pull them aside and TALK. I know that sounds scary and you think it will start things, but it may be the only way to get them to listen! Tell them all your concerns. Tell them you're worried about your sisters. Tell them how upset YOU are. You don't have to accuse them of doing wrong or anything, but you can point out to them how much their arguments are hurting the family. Just try to stay calm, have a cry if you need to, and open up to them.
i got surgery on my knee about 2 weeks ago. i went from being active 6-7 days a week to sitting on my butt in the same position all day. (im not allowed to put weight on it) im gonna be like this for 2 months and i am very worried about gaining weight. yesterday in the morning around 9 am, i ate 2 large helpings of ice cream and i made myself not eat again until 11 that night, and i ate potatoes with vegetables. of course, i drank water in between as to not get hydrated. today i have only eaten a tangerine and a medium portion of ice cream, and that was about 6 hours ago (it's 4.30 now)
so far my stomach hasn't felt hungry, but i feel myself losing concentration on what i'm doing (which is bad, because i have a ton of make up work to do lol). also my head feels kind of heavy..it's weird. so do you think this is healthy? if not how can i eat so that i dont gain weight these next 2 months?
ty
-edit-
If you're not willing to cut down on fatty foods, then you are going to gain weight. Sorry, but that's just how it works.
I most definitely understand your concerns with gaining weight. BUT I also think it wouldn't hurt to be a little nicer to yourself since you're recovering and all.
My advice is to eat what you want with the following conditions:
1) You chew each bite at least 15 times
2) You stay conscious of what you are eating
-don't watch TV or go on the computer while eating
-listen to your body for when it is full
3) Eat until you are a comfortable full; NOT stuffed to the point of exploding. :)
Skipping meals won't help you lose weight. It will make you a lot hungrier and therefore it may cause you to overeat. As long as you know how to listen to your body when it is full, you won't put on a lot of weight.
If you really want to go the whole nine yards, continue eating what you want with the exception of two or three extra fatty foods (i.e. ice cream, chips, cookies, etc.)
Hey, peeps does any one have the game Sims 2
for the pc ! Here is my Question how do you get
sims to marry! I proposed then I got a marriage
arch but I pressed on it and nothing happend!
I kept proposing but nothing worked!!!
Thanks is advance!
Faith42
You have to do it through the sims. Have them go stand under the arch (this isn't necessary because you can get married anywhere) and then click on the sim you want to marry and it should say "Propose Marriage" or something like that.
When you propose the first time, they are engaged. The second time is the actual marriage.
my best friend has this other best friend who i know, who i used to be good friends with, whenever they hang out, my best friend never invites me. never. ever. and like this one time when i was at the mall with my best friend this girl kept texting her, and was like well wanna hang out and stuff and i was like why dont you ask her to come up here with us, and she was like nahh i dont want too.
why does she do this to me and her other friends?
It's possible that your friend doesn't even realize that what she's doing is bothering you.
Next time you know they're getting together, ask if you can tag along. It would be rude if you randomly showed up, but if you asked if it was alright I'm sure they would include you.
If your friend doesn't get the hint that you like to be included, why not talk to her about it? You don't have to start an argument, just let her know that sometimes you feel left out and you would appreciate it if she would include you sometimes.
I met my friend a year ago. At the time he was in a relationship with
his girlfriend of 5 years and it wasn't going well. I spent nearly
every day with him at work and I even tried to help him deal with some
hidden issues he hadn't expressed to anyone. About a month or so
later his girlfriend kicked him out and he began living at his work.
When I stayed one night talking to him, we ended up sleeping together.
I had been in love with him from day one so I was on cloud 9. Their
break up lasted 2 weeks and I was left with nothing. Not long after
that she kicked him out again for a "let's take a break". During that
time he found her in bed with another guy the day before his birthday.
He couldn't eat, sleep, or anything and was throwing up constantly.
But I was by his side. When his family and friends told him he should
get over her, I stood by his side knowing he wasn't ready. It wasn't
long after that we began sleeping together again. This was more
confusing on my part because it's how I ended up with my ex-husband,
we were just friends, but I slept with him hoping we'd become more and
eventually we did, even when he swore he'd never love me.
So with this best friend of mine our "complicated" friendship
continues. He kept saying he didn't want me to be a rebound so I told
him to date other girls (knowing it would hurt me) hoping that when
the relationships wouldn't work he'd realize what he was missing was
in me. He dated one girl, after sleeping with her one time she broke
it off. He came right back to me. Months later he dated another
girl, slept with me the entire time they were dating because he wasn't
happy with her but still wanted to see where it would go. After they
slept together once, they broke it off and he came right back to me.
After that he said he was done dating and we just stayed together.
These entire months of being together people we didn't even know could
see something between us when we'd go out. He said it was because of
the way I acted because my affection is so obvious, but there were
times when I walked away from him for a few minutes only to be greeted
by admirers pointing out that he had something in his eyes just for
me, and some saw jealousy even when he swore he was not a jealous guy.
There were a few times he kissed me in public without realizing it.
And we were always touching in one way or another when we were out
with my friends. His friends and family our relationship was
completely hidden and they were only to know we were friends. They
weren't stupid, but they didn't ever bring it up again.
Shortly after the last girl we began to get closer, to the point that
one night he allowed me to tell him a list of reasons we were perfect
for each other. Knowing that he didn't want me to love him I was
afraid of a fallout after telling him. I was shocked when his
response ended up being "I've been thinking the same thing for the
last month." For months after he'd pull away and we'd get closer
again over and over. Things were looking really well for us.
My spring break was supposed to be entirely devoted to us, but every
night he was supposed to come over something came up. On the night
that he promised he definitely wouldn't let anything come in my way
because it was my last spring break weekend, I had gotten really
paranoid that day that something was going to keep us apart that night
too. My paranoia led to a major fight because he thought I was
accusing him of already breaking plans. The fight continued all
night. I went out to a bar to see some old friends I hadn't talked to
in forever and try to put the pain out of my mind. A few hours later
he showed up at the same bar. I made up my mind to avoid him. It was
going ok until one of my friends pointed out that he was there with
another girl. The next morning he admitted he'd been going out with
her for three weeks. Those same three weeks that we'd been making so
many plans together, sleeping together, and him staying over to wake
up with me in the morning.
I had fallen so much in love with him by this point that when he told
me I literally threw up. After talking for a while though his
arguments about me loving him seemed to fall away. He asked if we
could have a friendship without intimacy and before I could answer he
admitted with a laugh that we couldn't. He had told me that after all
the girls he'd ever been with I was his best, and it wasn't a lie.
And he too was my best. And we both could admit that we couldn't live
without each other in any way, friend or intimacy. Neither of us knew
what to do from there. I pointed out all of the times people thought
he was in love with me too and soon he stopped fighting it. He even
admitted that he wouldn't be with this girl for very long. And he
even admitted for the first time ever that if I found someone else
he'd be jealous and have an extremely hard time with it. After
leaving me more comforted than before, he hung up promising to call me
after his shower. He never called again that day. I hadn't eaten,
showered, changed, or slept in two days by the following morning. I
had lost so much weight it made me feel even sicker. That night I got
him on the phone finally when I called assuming he wouldn't answer.
He had completely changed. Again he was yelling at me for loving him,
telling me I was being ridiculous for it, and more. Needless to say I
threw up again. And then I called my mom to cry. He had promised to
call back in a few hours but I wasn't sure.
He did call back. And we argued more. He said he could never love me
and would never love me. He told me that when he cried the week
before saying he couldn't live without me he meant it as "just
friends". He said that if I couldn't stop loving him then we could
never see each other or talk again. He knows that I'm the only one
that supports his career dreams and only helping him achieve them and
told me that he'd learn how to live without it if he couldn't have me
in his life. He told me he didn't want to fall in love or have a
serious relationship because of how his 5 year ex had left him, even
admitting that as a friend I might have came into his life at the
right time to help him through that relationship, but as something
more it was the wrong time entirely. And that since I already seemed
so serious about him that he felt being with me would be like having
to put a ring on my finger immediately. He told me not to wait for
him because it could be next year or five years down the road (this
time not mentioning we'd never be a couple).
In the mix of all these arguments and promises of "never" he always
slips up and leaves a lot of hope and confusion as can be seen
earlier. In regards to our futures planned together he always said
when I published my first book (a book he dreamed up and wanted me to
write) he'd steal me away from fans at my book signing to ravish me.
How is that supposed to be seen as "just friends"? That's what he
said the future he planned for us was. He told me that when I saw him
at the bar with this new girlfriend that the reason he had his arms
around her was because she was intimidated by me, afraid of me
stealing him away, and wanted to come talk to me. I pointed out that
she'd never met me, he'd only told her I was a friend, and I
completely avoided them at the bar (when I saw them holding each other
I cried in the bathroom to avoid drama). To me her intimidation could
only come from his actions towards me and not mine, another viewpoint
on people seeing the need for me in his eyes.
He had promised me the most unimaginable night out I ever would have
experienced for my birthday in three weeks. He asked why we couldn't
still do it and go as just friends. When I told him that if his
girlfriend was already intimidated by me that she wouldn't possibly
let him go, he made some excuse that didn't even make sense. And he
had planned an amazing summer vacation for us both on the beach for
two weeks. He said that was meant as just friends too but intimacy
was a major part of that plan. He forgets his own words and his own
plans. I feel like everything I had to look forward to has now become
extinct.
Not only am I faced with the general dilemma of waiting for him to
notice his love, but I'm faced with new dilemma of his ultimatum:
Either I stop loving him and we be just friends while he dates
around...or...we never talk or see each other again and I lose my
friend and lover. I don't want to lose either. I really really don't
want to lose his friendship, but at the same time our friendship has
never been just friendship and I don't know how to not feel
heartbroken when he's with someone else. I don't know what to do.
His actions show he does love me as more than a friend, and sometimes
his words do too like when he says he doesn't want to lose me to
someone else (and I promise it's not just his wanting to have his cake
and eat it too while dating someone else). We're both confused, but
he's fighting it so hard. I am still willing to wait for him because
I know he does want me and I know that he's not ready yet to love.
I've been through this before and had a long and happy relationship
with my ex until some things just couldn't be avoided like a lot of
relationships. I'm afraid if I do walk out on our friendship that not
only will I lose my truest best friend but I'll also lose any hope of
him realizing he loves me and also that he'll lose out on his own
future because he doesn't have my support. But I'm also afraid that
if I promise him just friendship that we'll both have a hard time
adjusting which will make me fall in love again and make him pull away
again when he starts having feelings for me again too. I'm lost. I'm
hurting. And I love him, more so than I ever did my ex-husband. I
know we should be together, but I just don't know if he'll let himself
admit it.
I know this is long and I'm so sorry. The people that truly know me
inside and out really do think he's the one for me, even my mom, but
she also suggests I move on until he decides he's ready. The friends
that I see irregularly and don't understand me tell me he's not worth
it which only makes it hurt more. When my ex and I separated I swore
I'd never fall in love again and hadn't planned on it, I even stopped
having sex for well over a year...until I met this guy. Love at first
sight for the second time in my life. I don't want to do it again. I
want to stop feeling punished and be happy with him like I feel when
it's just us and we're not arguing, when we're perfect. Am I really a
fool or is it possible that he just needs to see that he needs me as
more than a friend?
(He's 26, I'm 24)
I really think it would be best for you to TRY and be friends with him (NO INTIMACY WHATSOEVER) and try dating other people.
You can still see him, but try not to spend too much time with him alone. Treat him like you would treat a brother, or at least try. For the time being, you need to do that so your heart can heal and you can move on. If you have phone conversations, try not to have them anymore than once a week. Probably no more than you would call your other friends.
You don't have to immediately start dating other people. Spend more time with your friends. Throw yourself into work or that book you were writing. Do fun things just for YOU. Do things that make YOU happy. Eventually, you'll meet new people and you can start dating other guys.
I know you love this guy. And reading your story shows that you do, but he sounds very confused right now. He was hurt and it doesn't sound like he knows what he wants. Give him time to sort out his life and in the meantime keep living yours. You cannot force this man to see you as more than a friend. It has to be his choice. After all, if he ever does come back to you, wouldn't you rather it be because he really cares for you and not because he's still confused in the head about what he wants?
No matter how happy you may feel with him now, he will never be truly yours until he sorts out his life and gets his feelings in order. I'm not telling you he isn't worth it. I'm not telling you there's no way he doesn't love you. I am simply telling you to give him space. And the next time he changes his mind and decides to "be with you," tell him to stop messing with your head. Tell him you don't want to be with him unless he's going to be true to you. Tell him you don't want to be with him unless he actually WANTS to be with you and not because he's looking for rebound/fallback/sex.
What's meant to be will be. Just let things flow and keep living your life.
i have a huggeee problem with binging and eating and eating until i feel sick then i make myself throw up. i feel out of control. how do i stop myself from binging?
These web sites may help:
http://www.masteringfood.com/why_it_is_so_hard_to_stop_binge_eating.asp
http://www.coping.org/selfesteem/lifestyle/binge.htm
http://www.endbingeeating.com/
my boyfreind tells me i dont act like his girlfreind. i dont get it. what can i do to be a better girlfriend? ive only had one boyfriend before so i guess i dont have much experience. i mean we kiss a lot and have sex but he still tells me i dont act like it. what can i do?
Talk to him about this. Tell him to be more specific. What exactly does he expect from you?
In the end, that's kind of rude of him to say. He should like/love you for the way you are no matter how you act. He's dating you and you shouldn't have to change anything about yourself.
If you really want to please him, I guess a few minor changes wouldn't hurt. Maybe do random sweet things for him like love notes and such.
if im on birth control and me and boyfreind have sex, its okay if he busts in me right and i still wont get pregnant?
No it is not ok. Birth control is not 100% effective. I highly recommend still using a condom. While birth control certainly lowers your chances of getting pregnant, there is still a possibility. Trust me. It's better safe than sorry. Use a condom too.
Okay I dont use tampons that often, and when I do its always when Its heavy. Putting the tampon in does not hurt me at all, but afterwads it hurts. Like standing up it feels weird and I dont like the feeling almost like its falling out, but sitting down is fine. I really dont understand??
When taking the tampon out I always find a mild discomfort but nothing to painfull. I was just wondering why the tampon hurts so much when its inside, could I not be putting it in far enough? Because i always try too?
I dont know im really worried why it hurts so bad when I standd up and its in and sometimes even when sitting it hurts a bit. Thank you
Perhaps you should try using thicker tampons. I've had the same problem as you in the past and I found out I just needed a different size of tampon. There are slim and thick ones you can choose from. It would be a good idea to experiment with each to see what is more comfortable. If it fits you correctly, it won't feel like it's sliding out.
Hi, I'm the girl who needed advice with the boyfriend and how we have to wait a year to date. Yeah. Well thing is..I'd hang out with him all the time and we'd still date if it weren't for my parents saying we aren't aloud to see each other.
I know its weird, they love him. but They want me to mature without being with him? So Any other advice there? I'm not even really supposed to be talking to him..Ya know? So What do i do? I don't want to risk having to wait even longer so I'm trying to abide by the rules. yet we still text..not too bad. I like the communication there.
Also, We've made a promise that no matter who we are with in a year when we can hang out we will have a night together just to see if the flame can be rekindled.
Idk just some more background info.
Any other more advice now that you know i'm not really supposed to be seeing/talking to him like we used to?
-Thanks,
"Waiting"
Ask your parents if it's ok to hang out with him if it's with a bunch of other people. As long as you ask them about it, I'm sure a reasonable compromise can be reached.
Maybe you could request one phone call a week? It's ridiculous to sever ALL contact for an entire year. Even if it's just a 15-20 minute chat to catch up, I really don't understand why your parents wouldn't want you to. Texting is good, like you said.
Perhaps your parents will allow him over for a "family dinner" like once a month or something. That way you can spend time together and your parents can be included.
The best thing to do, like I said, is talk it out with your parents and try to come up with some reasonable compromises.
Okay so, I've been dating my boyfriend for about 7 or 8 months in all. We realllly like each other. We've devoted alot of time for each other and I just feel our relationship is healthy and we're very compatable.
I'm 15, 16 in two months. and He is 18, 19 in two months(We have the same birthday, June 2nd). My parents LOVE HIM. They think he is a really great guy, but recently they've expressed their thoughts that they think I am a bit young right now and I need about a year to mature.
So. We're having to wait to date again for a whole year. I'm LOST at what to do. Do I let him go completely? Do i continue to talk to him and just let things go with the flow until we can date in a year?
What if he moves on? What is the likeliness that our "flame is rekindled" in a year if we're not in other relationships. I just need advise at what to do. How to act.
We still talk and tell each other we love each other and stuff. We're kinda "playing it by ear". Basically I just don't want to hold him back from other things like a new girlfrined or just the single life. Also, I want him to be mine in a year. But who knows I might move on also..ya know? Just..advice!
Thanks!
Definitely keep hanging out. There's nothing wrong with being friends right now, right?
Communication is key if you want this to work. Express all your concerns with him. Tell him all the things you told us. I'm sure he's wondering the exact same things. You've been together a long time. I'm sure that as long as you see each other and spend time together often, things will go on great.
If the two of you move on, you move on. Whatever is meant to be will be.
I think it's really cool that you respect your parents. I just wanna throw that out there. Already, you're showing the signs of maturity that they're looking for. Good for you! :)
F/13.
im depressed. the guy i like doesn't like me the same way. my step-dad has hit and bruised me about 5 or 6 times in the past 4 months. my mom is dying of a disease. everyone i care about is starting to hate me, because they're getting to know the real me. and it sucks, because right now i need people the most.
i cry myself to sleep, and today [[march 30]] i started cutting again. after not cutting for 2 1/2 months. my mom doesn't know i started cutting again. my therapist might put me on anti-depressants. i'm prolly bi-polar and have ADHD. the only people i have left are the people that can't help me through it. [[except a few people]] and i don't know what to do. i can't help this depression, and i want it to stop. but i can't. my best friend [[that's a girl]] is prolly the girl that everyone thinks im going out with. and my best guy friend is the guy i love, and wanna go out with. im going through the normal shit. times 5 billion. i barely get any sleep. and when i do i have nightmares. about what im gonna turn into. and it sucks because im turning into the person that i hate. i hate my step-dad's part of the family with a passion, but i have to deal with them. i need to talk to my real dad. but i can't. im scared of what he's gonna think. i don't care what people think of me, but im terrifyed of what they think, i think im ugly, i hate the way i am, and how i look. the only reason i haven't commited suicide is because of one person. but i think i'm loosing them. please. help me get over my depression, help me. talk to me, keep me alive. keep me going, please. i wanna hang on. but it's hard when nobody cares. please.
aim:randomconfusionx
i just need someone to talk to, someone to keep me going.
please.
i wanna hold on.
You need to hold on to that part of you that wants to keep going. Don't give up. When you've hit rock bottom, the only place left to go is up.
I think it would be a good idea to talk with your therapist. Just get out everything that's been on your mind. Even if he does give you some type of medicine, it will probably help you. I'm hoping he will also be able to help you stop cutting. I know that you probably feel like cutting stops the pain your feeling, but remember that it always comes back. It's not a permanent solution and it is not the way out of your problems.
And I am dreadfully sorry to hear about your mother. You should try to spend as much time with her as possible. Read her books, watch movies with her, buy her a cute get well card everyday. Just being with your mother will make her happy and I'm sure she'd love to spend time with you. It might even make you feel a little better.
You should try to make amends with your step dad (even though you hate him). Be polite and helpful around the house. You don't have to talk to him all the time, but be respectful when he speaks to you. As long as you do that, he has no reason to lose his temper and hit you. If he does it again, call the police. Immediately. Don't hesitate.
I know that since you hate the man so much, it's hard to sympathize with him, but he's going through a rough time since your mother is ill. It's definitely not an excuse for him to hit you like that, but remember his life isn't so great at the moment either. The least you could do is try and get along. Do it for your mother.
If you want to talk to your father, you need to. He loves you and cares about you no matter what you're going through. I really feel that he is the most important person you need to get in touch with at this time. I'm sure that talking things out with someone you know and love will help you through this difficult time.
After that, if things are still not going well, spend lots of time with your friends. Do fun things together. I'm sure that your friends want to be there for you, you just have to let them.