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Hey everyone! I haven't been active for few years but now I'm back, wiser than ever! So if you want my advice, let's make magi happen and fix this problem together.... or just, you know, take the advice.
Member Since: February 25, 2005
Answers: 95
Last Update: March 15, 2009
Visitors: 7698

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does anyone know any good products or home remedies to get rid of dark circles?? thanks... i rate high (link)
No. You'll die with the cause of dark circles, which is the cause of lack of sleep.... Have a nice day

~SAM


here it goes- i am 14 years old, and i still havent gotten my period.. is that a bad thing? or is it normal? please help! (link)
No, you're abnormal. You'll die of this, with the cause of having late Period. I'm sorry, but I think you'll have 6 years to live. At least you now know how long you'd live...

~SAM


ok, well i dont want to make this too long so here it goes

my sis 14/f and this 1 kid down the street(eddie)13/m and i are all best friends. but me and my sis are starting to think he likes my sis, he called her his WIT (wife in training)and we thought it was a joke but were now rethinking it. She likes him but she doesnt want to, but then does want to. weve been best friends 4 a long time and she doesnt want to ruin that, i need advice, should she ask him out, or should she leave it alone???plz help (link)
This is my brilliant answer: Your sister and Eddie shall do a... you know, an everyday conversation. But there's a catch. Your sister will spray Lysol on Eddie, every time he talks about WIT or dating or something related to that topic. Even if it's not about them. THEN let us see how good ol' Eddie feels about your sister... If this works, you owe me a coke. If not, then it's your fault for posting this up, where it's visible for me to see...

~SAM


I am 14 and I have really big boobs. I don't even know what size I am anymore... maybe D or DD. I have a really hard time finding bathing suits. Any suggestions on where to shop? (link)
No... but you can cut them and make them smaller...??? I don't know. I know I'm not helping, But hey, it's me. what do you expect?

~SAM


I'm a 15 yr old guy and my girlfriend and i were "dumped" by our former bf/gf and now they are together.....she is having a hard time getting over her ex and it's feeling pretty crowded in this relationship to me. Do you think it's normal for her to be really concerned with his pro and his away messages and who he's seeing and what he's sayin to his new gf? How can I help her get over him and concentrate on US?
(link)
For both of your sakes.... DUMP HER. She shouldn't be caring so much about her ex when she got you. Be brave man. DUMP HER. PLEASE take my advice. Thanks. And If you feel like you need to talk to me about this, AIM me or e-mail me or whatever.


I really don't know what to put this quesion under. But here goes..... does anyone know where I can find the screenplay Mean Girls?? I need it really bad so if anyone knows where I can find it, that wuld be great. I sorta need it A.S.A.P.!

Thanks again,
(link)
Yes


does anyone have any quotes about life or things like that to put in infos? (link)
Oh I have few. And feel free to use any of these... I quote these, by the way. All naturally from ME.

"Die"
"You lose some, then you lose more"
"Kisses? I want diamonds, dammit!"
"Anything can be a weapon"
"Needles are sharp, but blades are funner"
"Burning takes too long. Try cutting!"
"Love is something that can die. So HATE!"
"When all else fails, sue"
"When you can't choose something, act like an idiot"
"The only thing preventing peace, is war. The only thing preventing war, is peace. Damn peace..."
"Skittles? Why yes it is...."
"Run into my knife, chest first, please"
"That wasn't candy."
"That wasn't edible."
"Love? HA! More like Lust!"

~SAM


my b/f wants 2 make out in a few days.. how do you make out again cuz i havent made out in 3 years? (link)
okay, so I'll make this quick... do whatever...

Okay, so I'm ignoring you now, and saying whatever I want like in a journal, cause I want to. So I was just doing that "AIM" whatnot, and my friend just said "Bye" so I wanted to write "Bye" back. And of course, knowing my typing skills, instead, I wrote to this poor little freshmen, "DYE!" and she just signed off... I felt bad, but Laughed, for the fact that in a way, all freshmens deserve that... -END-

~SAM


OK to some of you this might not seem like a big deal..but me and my dad are dedicated to softball. Well..aside from JV softball..little league is the place where all of us can have lots of fun. My dad and my friends dad coach together. My dad was even on the little league board. (he recently left but will be returning.)
Well the problem is he told the president of the board to "fuck off" He wasnt totally wrong..but he def wasnt right for what my dad said. Now..i just found out the president of the board..my friends dad..and another lady is coaching! They totally left out my dad. EVERYONE on the team hates the pres and they loved it when my dad and my friends dad were coaches. What should I do? i dont want to go down without a fight. Should i make a petition..go to one of their meetings..any suggestions?Ty and i'll rate 5's (link)
Like a Father-to-son, do a Father-to-daughter type deal, and say "Fuck off." I'm sure someone will learn some type of lesson...

~SAM


me and my sister argue like crazy.its constant.my confidence is already low as im struggling at school.shes not making it any easier calling me thick shit etc.i try not to argue cos it really upsets my mum but i cant let her get away with it can i?what shall i do.i tried talking carmly to her but it doesnt werk?plse reply swn i rate good!xxxx (link)
Okay, what you two need to do, is sit your ass down on a chair, and talk it out, at a local ice cream shop, while eating ice cream. Ice cream makes people feel better, cause it's that sugar-sweetness.... Mmmmm.... anyway, yea... that's my advice... sorry this isn't funny. But at least you get ice cream!

~SAM


Ok, Last nite my b/f told me that he smokes. I didnt really know what to do. I mean I dont want him to smoke and he said that he's trying to stop and its not really working. I dont know what to do. Can someone plz help me cuz itz like really annoying me that he smokes. I mean its not really a big deal but I just dunno.... (link)
Wait.... so... you couldn't smell it??? Wow.... Um... tell him to quit for you, and that once he puts another one in his mouth, it's over. Yea, that strict. I'm completely against smoking. It's stupid, it wastes your time, and it makes you dumb.

~SAM


how do i congradulate a friend who made it on to a competition? (link)
Just say the following...

"Hey! I heard you made it on to THE competition. How does that make you feel? Well, you bastard, congrads to you, mate" and then leave them a bomb to hold for 6 seconds, and run.

~SAM


well i know this may sound weird but me nd my boyfriend were arguing ! we started dating the 31st of Decemeber nd our 2 month is rolling around but there isnt a 31st in February? how do you celebrate an anniversary if that date isnt there ? (link)
Celebrate the last day of that Month. Easy! Unless you COMPLETELY ignore the calendar. and just mark ever 30days to be your anniversary. Actually. that's not that bad of an idea. Do that. It'd work... i think....

~SAM


all my friends have boyfriends.. and my best friend.. who ive been through everything with has ditched me for her boyfriend who i hate so much right now.. she doesnt talk to me when we go out cuz shes too busy slobering over him and its disgusting and it pisses me off more than you can ever know. sure my friends are good friends when their BOYFRIENDS arent around. i wa sjust ditched tonight.. my best friend had her boyfriend.. and my other friend had hers.. and i pretended to sleep on the couch while they humped eachother and shit. i cant take it.. someone just help me calm down and make me feel better (link)
Next time when you're in a position like that, ask ask for either a three-some or an orgy. Quantity, over Quality.

~SAM


Hey Do you have to know everyone in a band inorder to listen to them?
Like say i liekd a band and i listened to them...do i have to know every person in it and wat insturment they play?
Kay thanx
Ill rate (link)
Yea man. Totaly. It's in the Constitution, AND Bill of rights. It's the 67th Amendment. "When listening to music, listener must know all name of member of the band, their instrument, age, and if single or not. Those who break this amendment, shall be given the death penalty." Well, looks like you're dying kid. Good luck at court.

~SAM


every time i run the mile for P.E. i get these painful cramps while running and even if i stretch before running i still get cramps. what type of stretches should i use to prevent the cramps? (link)
Oh man! Haven't you ever heard of the Non-Cramp Stretch? It's easy. First, grab an iron rod, or a crow-bar. You take that, and hit your knee constantly, very hard, for a good ten minutes. After this, hand the iron rod thing, to someone, and sue them. THE END.

~SAM


i can't decide who i should trust and has my back. so what type of kids should i not trust? (link)
Those who go around, being honest. Yes. Never trust honest people, unless they're brutally honest. No, I kid. Here's a tip; someone that doesn't do drugs, are smart people. Stick with someone who has asthma.

~SAM


ok theres this boy i really like and i have a feeling he likes me to but he also seems as shy as me even though he seems to hide it bettr than me. But to the point. Ok i really like him and i want to say something to him even if its just "hi" but the thing is when i do see him my mom and my friends mom is there and they always watch us so its really embaressing and then i ignore him when i dont want to!! plz help!!! (link)
OOOOH! OOOH!! I know two PERFECT advice for this one. Okay, Two solutions, and you can choose which ever you'd like...

1) Ask him a physic's question, or something, as if you need Homework help.

2) Talk to him in French, or Mandarin. Perferably French. Because I like French. And the French are glad to die for love. They delight in fighting duels.

Hope I helped you!

~SAM


i know this girl who goes to another school who is my absolute bff and she had a girl sleepover this night and that girl absolutly hates me! and she told me how much people talk behind my back and how fat and ugly i was and it really is hurtng my feelings b/c i never really did anything to her until tonight when i called her a bitch and now i just feel so emotional and i just feel like telling my best friend that if she wants to be friends with her she could be but she won't find me talking to her anymore. so i'm really confused and don't know what to do anymore (link)
Throw your shoes at her. Perferably the right one. Trust me on this one...


Okay... i am 14.. and I was just wondering how old do people think is TOO OLD?? (link)
Well, I just asked my niece that, and he happily answered/yelled "18!!!" Though in my world, being old is like... 60 years old. Big difference. Look, let me give YOU an actual advice. If you're planning to go out with some guy that's 3times your age, go for it. Yea, that sounds weird, but still, just go for it. If you two believe that it's true love, than some digit number shouldn't matter. Number/Age, does not matter, in the world of love, dear. ALWAYS remember that, and never regret anything.

~SAM




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