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Hi I'm Derfel - & I'm Dannii, trust us 'coz you know what? We're always ....... ALWAYS right! Together we have a phenomenal amount of life experience, advice experience and 'drama management'!! What we haven't come across you could list on the back of a postage stamp (a small one). We'll talk about anything, don't mind getting personal and we genuinely care about YOU! We're hear to help and we're listening. Buy buy just now Derfel & Dannii xx




advice

OKay so, i was on vaca and my mom`s friend was there. I met her son for the first time and i really like him. When we left,I knew i`d probably never see him again and that was last week and i still cant forget about him. I`ll just be doing something and he`ll randomly just pop into my head. I cant stop thinking about him-what do i do?

Hi darling,
I've experienced the same thing myself. We both knew how we felt about one-an-other but took the decision not to swop numbers / addresses etc. Because we lived so far apart a distance relationship was out of the question and contact would have made that a harder fact to accept. I really regretted that that first week back but I just had to accept it. I think you know what I'm telling you.
Derfel
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My friend just told me today.. that she ALWAYS throws up after she eats. As much as I'd love to help her, I just dunno what to say. Cuz she might get mad. I don't want anything bad to happen to her. The past couple days shes been telling me that shes been haveing bad stomach pains and she feels sick ALL THE TIME. I wanna help her, I don't wanna make her mad and say the wrong thing though. Should I just forget about it, and let her live her life the way she wants it? What would you do? Please I need help.. =(

*amYy.. my AIM sn is NaInErZzZ

Hi,
I understand this is a very difficult situation for you, as her friend to be in. The thing is sometimes in life the right thing to do is not to say, well that's their choice and that's that. You're friend is ill, this is a medical condition that can and does kill people. Talk to your friend explain that you can't do nothing and plead with her to get help. If she won't - you tell someone, her parents would be the obvious choice. I understand how you would feel doing this, as if you've violated your friends trust and I understand she may well be furious with you - BUT it's the right thing to do and as a true friend you've got to do it and hope she appreciates that, or comes to in time.
Derfel
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I really like my best friend. He is perfect..I think so atleast =). I think he likes me too. But I'm really shy and I have decided to tell him how i feel. B/C not tellin him isnt an option nemore. My feeling are too strong. So..how should I tell him? I'm j/ really worried we wont remain friends if I tell him.. Like if he ends up NOT liking me. Thanks for your help! =)

Hi Darling,
I understand the difficult Situation your in: do nothing and you'll never know what could have been, do something and risk spoiling your friendship. In this case I say: go for it! Tell him how you feel. I get the impression your going to go mad if you don't and if you think he likes you too all the more reason. Sometimes in life you have to take risks and this is a fairly safe one, I'd say. As for how to tell him, its never easy, especially if your shy but he's your friend so you should find him easy to talk to. I'm not saying you won't be nervous - you' l probably be as nervous as hell! But this is part of life - can't be avoided.
Best of Luck
Derfel
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OK here it goes!...Me n my boyfriend have just started havin sex...n well once he has had it once he has to have it all the time...well sometime i really dont want to...but he will force me into it or beg me to have it until i give in...n i love my boyfriend so much we have been dating now for 4 months...i keep saying no over and over but he keep it going when i finally give in he says baby im sorry for doin that to you...but he still does it anyways he promised me that would be the last time but that wasnt the first time he did it either! What should i do and say to him w/ having to break up with him? Please help me!

You want the short answer: Get rid of him now. You should have more self respect than to stay with someone who is more than happy to keep pressurising you into doing something you do not want to (especially something as personal as having sex.) Don't mix your words, leave him quite clear how you feel and don't be taken in by any begging.
Good Luck and God Bless
Derfel
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Around the beginning of July, I went into a chatroom and met this boy. I know meeting people online is a bad thing but this is different. Lets call the boy I met "Jim". Ok Jim is turnin 15 very soon and I'm turning 14 very soon. Jim lives in Connecticut and I live in New Hampshire. He is the most sweetest and kindest person I have ever known and met in my life. I sometimes talk to Jim on the phone (passed 9pm on my cell phone so I don't have to pay lol). He is so hot lol. Well anyways, he flirts with me all the time online like he'll say "cough cough you're hot" or "guess what? you're hot" and he'll say sweet and kind things too. I think he likes me but there's just one problem, he likes another person. Jim says I am hotter and have a better personality than her. I don't know what to do like I'm not the type of girl who will ask a guy if they have feelings for me. I think he likes me because he wouldn't say sweet and kind things and he always flirts with me. He's not a player so don't say "he's only saying that to get in my pants" lol. I like Jim as a great friend but I don't know if I like him. I flirt with him sometimes but when he flirts with me, I get these feelings inside of me that makes me wanna like me. Like I said before, I don't know what to do. Please help me lol. Thanks for those of you who are taking your time to read this and might wanna answer this lol.

Dear god, what a load of trash you have taken the time to post. 'Cough cough your hot' - what ? - is he 15 going on two and a half. You know if you got a life and a grip on realty you may find you don't need to concern your self with this whole load of ridiculousness. Also your English is dreadful - 'most sweetest', for gods sake!
Derfel

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Im always being touched my guys! im like y do u guys touch me so much and there like ur so hott we cant resist and so i let them but it gets annyoing. my friends tell me that im lucky that i get the attention. what do u think?

Even if at first you found this flattering, it must be driving you crazy now. Its not acceptable for them to be doing this. Tell them how you feel and be definite so they are left perfectly clear you don't like it. If they continue you and see a lawyer, seriously - this is sexual harassment and is a criminal offence, stand up for your self and do something about it.
Derfel
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i just moved from new york to virginia. im going into 9th grade and into a new high school. ive been with my friends in new york ever since pre-k and now im scared to make new ones.. what should i do?

I can understand how nervous you feel, but the only thing I can say is try not to panic too much and when you get their go for it, get right in to your new high school life. By the end of the first day you'll be wondering what all the fuss was about.
Derfel
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There's this guy I really like, but he's really wild. I mean really. He's already went all the way and he's only 14. I've only been kissed. But he wants to hang out and start "talking" and stuff. He's really fun to be around and really good lookin too. lol. I would love to get to know him better and maybe even date, but I'm afraid it wont work out because I'm not as advanced as him, but should I give it a shot anyway?

If you like him go for it! You can't spend your life thinking 'oh I really want to do that but it might not work out, I want to date him but what if...'. Take a chance and hopefully it'll pay off.
Derfel
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ok im going into the 8th grade and ive never made-out wit someone...most of the girls in my grade had...ive had the chance to wit a cute boy but i didnt want to and everythin...how can i get more comfortable wit doing it

It deepens what you mean by 'comftable'. If you mean you want to do it but are too nervous ... Well theirs only one way to get over that - just get a hold on your self and do it! If you mean you really don't want to do it but feel self conscious because everybody else is ... You don't want to be forcing your self to do things you don't want to like that it doesn't matter what others are doing.
Derfel
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i have some friend who shave down low and i dont know if thats something a lot of people do or not. Is it common or not cuz i dont know if i should.

Hi,
I don't think many people do it, but hay if you want to do it don't worry about what others are doing. I used to have a g/f who did it and I found it quite a turn on (I'm male by the way!)
Derfel
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hi. im pretty and popular, i was voted best looking for yearbook and was prom queen. I feel sad though. I dont no y. I just feel bad and my friends r like wth u have a perfect life. wht should i do?
thanx

Hi darling,

I know everybody will be telling you this but go and talk to a councilor or therapist. I know a lot of people jump a mile at the idia but thies people are hear to help and can work wonders...know bodies going to think your mad. Their could be a multitude of reasons why you feel like this. A councillor will work with you to get to the bottom of this and will help you get over it. It your not sure where to access this help a good starting point is your family doctor. Make the appointment sooner rather than latter, theirs no point putting it off. Its no good just getting professional help, you need the support of your family and friends as well. Talk with your parents and explain how you feel. Also you've got to explain to your friends that the feelings you are experiencing are reel and they upset and worry you, and that its no use just saying ' you have the perfect life'.
You can get through this!
Good luck and god bless
Buy buy just now
Derfel
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I am only 13 and i just started having periods,and i hade my second one right on schedual. Is that normal?

Hi,
Yes this is fine. Many young people who have just started their period find they are very irregular at first however this does not have to be the case, you've more than likely settled into a pattern from the start.
Buy buy just now
Derfel
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I have this friend and I really like him, but my best friend likes him too. I just met him yesterday and my best friends has known him for awhile. I really like him and she does too. I asked him if he liked her and he said no, but he told other people before he met me that he liked her. Idk what to do! I'm so lost and I want to be happy for my friend but me happy too! I think I should get over it and let her have him since she's known him longer. But what do I do?

-signed sister in distress-

Hi sister in distress,

I would agree with you, stay clear. Its not worth risking a friendship over. Wait and see what happens between the two of them. It maybe nothing and then the way will be clear for you but if something does happen you'll know you made the wise choice to hang back.
Buy for now
Derfel
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i'm almost 13 and I still like watching cartoons, some of my closet friends still watch cartoons, but some of them only watch MTV and stuff. Should I stop watching My cartoons?

Personally I can't stand cartoons. But you should do what you want to do. Don't worry about what others think.
Derfel
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my mom is getting married to this guy whos really kool except he like flirts with me and comes on to me. he says stuff like hey sexy, hey cutie, hey pretty girl, and stuff like that and its really uncomfortable.. should i just let it go?

Hi there,

The main question hear is - is he really coming on to you or just messing about and trying to be friendly. If he is coming on to you - tell your mom. Don't worry about causing world war 3, don't worry about the consequences, they wouldn't be your fault. If he's just messing on it is still not acceptable if he is making you uncomfortable and you should tell him. Just say to him the way you keep speaking to me in this sexualised way is making me very uncountable, I don't find it acceptable and pleas stop. Or if you don't want to speak to him - speak to your mom. But don't just let it go, if theirs a problem sort it. If he is just trying to be friendly he'll probably be upset and very apologetic about the way he's been making you feel.
Buy buy just now
Derfel
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i love your advice
i at first i thought u were being downright rude, but now that i've read lots of answers, ur just tellin em like it is, you give awesome advice!!!!!

Keep up the good work!! :-)

Hi there
Thank you very much. Your right I don't purposefully set out with the intention to be rude but I speak my mind and give no nonsense advice. I'm glad you approve.
Thanks again, buy now
Derfel
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hey derfel u comented on my poem u said it was utterly terrible i would like to see something written by u, u say i try to be a poet, i never wanted to b its just a way i let out pain u say read shakespear I DONT WANT TO B LIKE SHAKESPEAR! shakespear means shit to me! im expressing my feelings in MY way not urs or any1 elses i read poems and write them the way i like im original and un conventional just becus i write differently doesnt mean i dont write well every1 else liked it and i am very open to critism but wen the arguement makes no sense then i dont see y i should put up with it. i think u should try to look at sum les orthodox stuff but w/e dont criticize my poems wen every1 else likes them and u have no point.
*fran

Hi fran,

Can I just begin by saying it's not because your poems are different of unconventional I say you don't write well - its just the simple fact that your poetry is dreadful !

I could of course write an essay explaining the errors of your writing but you sum everything about your self up very nicely for me. The fact that you have the Audacity and ignorance to make the comments you do about the worlds greatest writer ever (Shakespeare) tells me you do not read or understand his work - then you stand up and shout out that you are a poet. You are not and never will be a poet because - to tell you the truth your to down right stupid. Your as thick as the day is long. AND to make matters worse you can not even spell the mans name correctly - it has an E at the end - Shakespeare, you stupid individual. You say your poems are a way of you letting out your pain, well their painful to read that's for certain.

I do hope one day you will be able to look at the 'poems' you have writen to date and have the Knowledge and understanding to feel very embarrassed you wrote them and had this confrontation with me, but I doubt it.

As you will notice I have not included any of my poems and that is not because I do not have confidence in them, if you read the last part of my previous response you'll know why; and unlike you I have to keep to publishers terms and conditions.

Pleas feel free to respond. Good day to you, you child.

Derfel

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you know lots of things about periods.. can you tell me why mine is brown sometimes? thanks
are you gay?

Hi,
I wouldn't worry too much about the brown colour. Due to the nature of what menstrual blood is, it wouldn't be so unlikely for colour to vary from person to person and, especially if your young from period to period. If it does continue it may be an idea to visit your doctor just to be on the safe side and put your mind to rest, but don't worry. Do I know a lot about periods, I expect it comes with being a science (inc. Biology) student. I certainly seem to answer a lot of questions about them, lol.
No I'm not gay.
Derfel
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I got my first period over a year ago, July 2003. I have gotten 4-6 periods when i should have had 12. i go long periods of time without getting a period. Like I got one in December and my next one was in March. I have one like every 3-4 months and what really sux about it is that when i actually do get them its not the same day of the month. My first one was on the 1st but i've gotten them anytime of the month. Im really skinny and some ppl say if u dont have alot of body fat it messes up ur periods.. is that true?

thanx... kt

Hi KT,

Having irregular periods like this at your age is perfectly normal, don't worry about it. They'll settle into a pattern as you get older. Your body weight has nothing to do with this, its something a lot of girls experience during puberty.
Derfel
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i just had my 1st period and i was wondering if you can tell me why you get it and can we have a lil girl 2 girl talk?

Hi,
Well I'm not female so we can't have a girl 2 girl talk but how about a boy to girl talk?
To put it very basically: A female will ovulate (release a egg cell) once every 28 days (generally speaking) in to the uterus. If the cell goes unfertilised (by a males sperm cell) the egg and inside lining of the uterus prepared to house the fertilised egg and developing foetus must be discharged. This is achieved by menstruation (having a period).

If you've just started your period you'll more than likely find they are irregular but will settle in to a pattern as you get older.

Hope this answers your question, if not or you want to ask anything else - feel free.
buy now
Derfel
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