My favourite quote is 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'.
Life really is a roller-coaster with it's ups and downs and varying speeds. Yet no matter how hard you try to stay on an even keel, something always comes along to kick you in the teeth and remind you just how fragile life is. We are all trying to live the best we know how and to get along together. So take time to appreciate those around you and tell them how much you love them occasionally. A smile and a kind word speaks volumes.
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset
Occupation: Housewife/Mother/Counsellor/Volunteer
Member Since: April 20, 2006
Answers: 798
Last Update: February 17, 2009
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hey im 14 i have a question..ive been going through alot of problems lately and now everytime i get mad or kinda annoyed my heart starts to hurt...and then my fingers kinda hurt when that happens..i dont know what it is but im worried ..thx! (link)
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It is quite possible that this is a psychological
reaction to extreme emotion. However, saying that it could be something entirely different. Without knowing you or having any idea about your general health it is not a question that can be answered on an advice column. The best thing for you to do is ask your Mum or Dad to make an appointment with a doctor so that you can talk to them about it. They will be able to assess your body health and your emotional wellbeing and then they will be able to answer your worries. I wish you the very best and good luck.
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I will rate 5s! Sorry its long. But 5s FOR ANYTHING! JUST PLWEASE HELP. ok so i wear daily contacts that you throw out every day .. wwhen i have sleepovers i just keep them in if i fall asleep and replace them in the morning - its always been fine. so on friday i did that & everything was good. during the day my left eye kind of felt irritated, but that has been ahppening a little bit lately with me and others because of spring/allergies and stuff. then when i took it out it KILLED. i couldnt open my eye it felt like there was something in it. then when i finally could open, it feels irritated and i keep crying like theres a hair or an eyelash or something in it.. so my questions is what could it be?
what is wrong with me??? is there something in my eye?? it wasn't ripped when i took it out.. is there a cahnce the one from friday could still be in there [but im positive i took it out & it doesn't look like there's a contact in my eye unless its hidden]. and whatever it is, how do i get it out??? or is it an infection? FIVES FOR ALL! (link)
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It's possible that you may have slightly scratched the surface of your eye when you removed the contact. I suggest that you put in some eye drops and then have your eyes checked out by a professional. If you have left the contact in they will then be able to remove it. They may also suggest wearing glasses until your eye feels better. It is never worth taking a chance with your eyes and you should do all you can to keep them healthy. Good luck.
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16/F
By nature I am a shy girl. I have a problem which makes life difficult for me. When I use toilet its a noisy, mean I make loud sounds (louder farts). As I said I am shy in nature so I try to avoid visit toilet when in school or out side home, or I spend too much time sitting on toilet seat trying to avoid or lower the sound or trying to just pass the urine without releasing air. This creates a big problem for me.If you have any advise please.... (link)
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I think we all to some degree feel embarrassed by the sounds our bodies make. I agree with Vikki27 that if you feel you have a bowel problem it should be looked at. Trying to keep in wind to avoid making a noise is something that I have done and as for using other loos apart from my families was a big no-no. It is something that you will grow out of in the end when you realise that everyone makes the same noises. Just one little tip - take a little wadge of toilet paper and just gently place it over your back passage and pass wind then. It will slightly muffle the sound. Make sure you thoroughly wash your hands after though. I wish you all the best.
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i have a regular period. yesterday i felt really weird & i thought maybe i was sweating because i was at basketball practice. i got home & i was bleeding a lot. im scared because my period shouldn't come until the 26th. soo it stopped after an hour. it was light colored, i thought it was water until i looked. i asked my mom & she said it could be an irregular period or a cyst bursting. i felt barely any cramping, juss a little & then after that hour basically it was gone. totally gone. does anyone have any idea what this could be?? my periods usually regular & it lasted only an hour so i doubt it was a period.
thanks!! (link)
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I was very pleased to read that you had asked your Mum first. It is not possible to say what had happened so I think that you should ask your Mum to accompany you to the doctors and have them reassure you.
Anything that it out of the "ordinary" is not necessarily bad but may just need sorting out. Good luck and best wishes.
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is it pronounced JIH-necologist of GUY-nicologist (im talking about a gynecologist) (link)
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It is pronounced guy-nicologist.
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When you have vaginal itching does it necesarily mean you have yeast infection?
Does masturbating make you itch? (link)
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Vaginal itching is usually a sign that there is something temporarily out of balance and needs to be treated. Masturbating should not make you itch unless you use a vibrator that has not been washed properly or you have a slight infection on a finger.
It is always worth having something like that checked out by a professional. If you do not fancy talking to your doctor go along to a chemist and asked to see the Pharmicist. They can either suggest something for the itch or if they feel you need to see a doctor then they will tell you. Hope that has helped. Good luck.
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Ok. My art teacher is little too nice to me. He makes weird comments to me like "your hair looks hott today" or "you friend kayla is cute". And he moved me up to an honors art class because he thought i was "ready" for it. Soo i moved up thinking i was a really good artist..but ever since..he just flirts with me. Also everytime i ask him a question after to class about hw assignments hes like "come to my office'. Its just weird...and he also hugs me..i dunno maybe hes just a nice person. I feel uncomfortable..wat should i do?
PS hes a new teacher..first year..and hes 24 (link)
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This teacher is obviously making you feel uncomfortable and that is not good. I suggest that you tell your Mum or Dad and ask that they help you sort this problem out. If after having a chat with him nothing improves ask to see the head teacher and explain the situation. He is in a position of authority and should not be making remarks of that nature to you. It might be that he does not understand his boundaries as a teacher yet, in which case the head teacher will be able to define these for him and perhaps keep an eye on him for a while. He has not done anything yet that would warrant a formal warning but a friendly chat might just sort it out. I wish you all the best.
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i have just started using tampons and at work i felt something (im 15) i went to the loo and i was leaking but i had only had it in for 3 hours im using normal type do i need to have a higher absorbancy or is it that i didnt put in in high enough?? (link)
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It is quite normal to have to change a tampon more frequently. You may find that you will need a higher absorbancy when the flow is heavier and have a need to change it more frequently. When the flow is lighter you will need a lower absorbancy but still need to change it regularly. The most important thing is not to forget about having a tampon in. This could lead to something called toxic shock which would need medical attention. If you feel uncomfortable when you have put in a tampon then it is possible that you may not pushed it in high enough. In which case you may leak a little - the answer to this would be to remove it and insert a fresh one. I hope this has helped answer your question.
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Okay so this is the deal: In a couple of weeks my boyfriend (of 6 months) has a free house because his family are going on holiday, and we wanted to try and use this to spend a couple of nights together, his parents have said it's okay for me to stay as long as my parents are aware they are not going to be there. Normally my parents don't have a problem with me staying over when his parents are there because they make me sleep in a different room... But I'm not sure how they will react to this as they will probably look at it as a route to sex or something...even though I am legal anyway... any ideas on the best way to put the question across?
We are both 17.
Thanks for your attention, I will rate for your time :)
(link)
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I don't agree that it will be okay to lie and say you are staying with friends. You will only end up digging yourself a bigger hole. Try and be honest about your decisions. If you are going to be having sex then make sure you use precautions.
As to how you can approach your parents - well I suggest you be open and honest with them. They won't be happy that you are taking this big step because like most parents they don't like to think of their children growing up and having sex. Do a bit of research about contraceptives and present the findings to your parents. Show them that you are making adult decisions and they may accept their little girl is now a young woman.
Good luck with the outcome.
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I am part psychic sometimes I kno what is going to happen but it is usualy only about little things not like huge world wide things.
first off I would like to kno how I can strangthen my skills.
2nd off. Sometimes when I am going to bed I have hundreds of thoughts going threw my mind. It is like different people are talking all at once. The thoughts arent things I would kno of or have ever thought about. Do you think that I am having thoughts from other people or spirits? I doubt it but im not sure. (link)
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Can I suggest that you start keeping a log book of things that you feel are going to happen with times and dates if possible. Also it may be an idea to also note down any thoughts that come into your mind before bedtime. If you find that these thoughts are keeping you awake, ask them to leave you alone for night. If you feel very strongly that you may be Psychic try looking for a spiritualist church in your area and ask them to help you. It is nothing to be frightened - I wish you lots of luck in the future.
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ok i am 13 female and the first time i got my period was in october of 2005! the thing is that i was masturbating when it came on and i thought it was my period ( the 1st one i ever had). then it didnt come back for a really long time now it May and it hasnt really came on. 2 days ago i say a little blood but it was only the size of a nickel and it stopped 10 minutes after. was that my period? also when i was masturbating did i pop my cherry? it didnt hurt and it bled for 2 days. then i never saw it again. i havent had sex at all ever so i know its not anything like that. please help me!
i rate high for good answers. (link)
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Masturbating will not do any damage unless you use an instrument of sorts and penetrate too far. You will probably have popped your cherry a long time ago doing cartwheels, riding a bike or some other activity. It is easily done and will have no bearing on any future partners you take - you are still a virgin.
The blood you saw the size of a nickel was most likely a scratch with a fingernail or something like that and I wouldn't worry about it.
As for your periods - sometimes a girl will start and her period will be regular and with an even flow. More likely, as with most girls, it can start off infrequent and light. It is not unusual to have long periods of time without a mentrual flow when you are just beginning. If you continue to worry about it just tell your Mum you are a bit concerned about your periods and ask her to either make you a doctors appointment or ask her to accompany you to see one. You don't need to mention that you masturbate to your Mum but your doctor may ask. You don't have to have your Mum with you in the doctors surgery because if you need a chaperone one of the nurses could do it. Good luck.
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I got really sick for about a week and a half, and all I could manage to do was lay in bed and vomit (sorry for the info) So anyway, when I finialy got back to school, I feel so much slower and weaker in athletics, can you get totally out of shape in a week? I haven't gained any weight..I just feel weird. Is that normal?
Also, I've alwyas eaten healthy...but after being sick..I've become addicted to carbs...what do i do? (link)
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It is quite normal to feel out of sorts for a couple of weeks after being ill. The body needs time to readjust itself and your appetite will also need time to recover. The best advice I can give is listen to what your body needs be it carbs or whatever and it will slowly return to normal. Try not to push yourself too hard for a couple of days and then slowly ease yourself back into your normal life. Always listen to your body and you won't go far wrong. Best of luck.
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First off, i appreciate anyone who can answer this. second, this is going to be somewhat long but here goes nothing:
On saturday my mom told me my boyfriend could come over. she wasn't home for 30 minutes and he came over during that time which she said she was fine with as long as we don't go upstairs to my room. But we went up there. while we were up there we had sex for the first time and while we were doing it, she came home. so we raced downstairs and acted like nothing happened. and she didn't suspect one thing at all. then the next day *sunday*, one of my friends called me and asked if i had sex with my boyfreind. i told her yes along with the story. while i was telling the story my mom picked up the other phone line and heard EVERYTHING. she knows now and is calling me a slut, and trash. now she is telling me i am not allowed to see my boyfriend ever again and if he steps foot into this house she will call the police because he's 18 i'm 16 and still a minor. so i guess she could have him arrested for him having sex with a minor.
i still want to continue to see my boyfriend but now we are going to have to sneak around. i know that isn't right but that's the only way we can see each other. any advice on what i can do to get my mom to let me see him without her freaking out and calling me a slut??? (link)
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I totally agree with Rainbowcherrie in that your Mum should not be calling you names. I also agree that you should not have betrayed her trust and you should seek her forgiveness.
As a mother it was devastating to me to discover that my children were sleeping with their partners. However, the hardest part for me was knowing that they were growing up and it is very difficult to let go. Your Mum may also be feeling sad that you are no longer a child but a maturing young lady.
It is a difficult situation which needs careful consideration of everyones feelings. I wish you love and luck in your future.
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okay im 16/f.
i was in 2 bad car accidents and my leg is paralyzed along with all the other bad injuries. my leg is just "dead" it impairs me. my doctor says i should have it amputated, but i don't know if i can make that descision. can you please help me? (link)
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My love, I am an amputee who lost her left leg following a really nasty motorbike accident. It took very many years for me to come to terms with losing my leg. It is not something that can be gone into quickly. I did not lose my leg immediately after the accident, but 13 years of walking with a grossly disfigured leg left me with a legacy of pain. I spent 3 years talking to amputees from my local limb centre and asking the very many questions that go through your mind. If you live in England then you may know about Heather Mills. If not, she is Paul McCartneys wife and she also lost her leg through a motorbike accident. She is a very good campaigner for the limbless. If you are going through a compensation process and it is definite that you will have to lose your leg then please make sure that the compensation covers you for new limbs for the rest of your life. They are not cheap and the good ones cost from about £7,000 upwards.
It is very possible to live a normal life being able to do everything you could before your accidents.
It is something that does take a while to get used to, but like everything, it does become a part of your life like putting on make up. The prosthetists are professionals and they take pride in their work.
I am very willing to help you if I can with coming to terms with amputation. I was 19 when I had my accident and 32 when I had it amputated. In those intervening years my life was hell and I regret not having it done earlier.
I wish you all the very best and good luck. Have courage and lean on your family and friends. Please let me know how you are getting on.
I should add that in England prosthesis' are free on the NHS and specially made ones are charged for privately. They are very lifelike and worth having at least one of.
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My mate gave me a hickie(love bite) for a laugh when we were drunk, how do i get it to go away really quickly? (link)
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A love bite is when the blood is drawn from the veins up into the skin surface by suction. Primarily it is a bruise and cold compresses and make up will help to heal it and to cover it over.
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im 14/f well like two days ago me and my brother got mugged and well there was three men and one grabbed me by my neck and tried chocking me so i kicked him in the balls when i tried to get back to my brother the guy had his knife on him and his friend was hitting him while the other guy was still trying to hold on to me...anyways my bro told me to run and i did after tht i found him coming back and he was bleeding we were both in a very bad state...and now its two days after what happened and ever since what happened when i come to try to eat this empty feeling is in my stomach and im not able to breath well and i cant eat and my stomach keeps hurting me and i start getting scared every time the dark comes or when i see or hear anything i get shocked and scared really easy my stomach really hurts me and i feel like i need to puke...is this cuz of the shock because before what happened i wasnt affraid of anything and belive me i mean nothing...and now im scared alot and i cant stand to be myself..i think there might be something wrong with me..i just need some advice or help ...thx (link)
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I am so sorry that something so horrid like this has happened to you. You have the right to be angry and afraid, after all you are a young girl. I think that you may be suffering from panic attacks when you relive the ordeal that you and your brother went through. Firstly, I suggest that you contact the police if you haven't done so already then ask to see your school counsellor. If your school does not have a counsellor then please have a word with your doctor.
Shock can take many forms and for you right now that means feeling sick and having pains in your stomach. You may be clenching your stomach muscles without realising it. These feelings will pass in time and life will seem a lot better as you get older.
It may help you and your brother to take some form of self defence classes where you can be taught to defend yourselves. This will give you the courage and the ability to face the outside world again.
I hope that these suggestions are helpful and I want you to know that there are a lot of people out there trained to help in these situations. Please gather up your courage and go and seek them out.
With best wishes for the future in which you have total control. Take care and good luck.
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I accidently stabbed myself on my left hand, and I think i got a vein. It's extremely painful, and is now a lump and looking a bit blueish. Is this serious, or just one of those things? What can I do to reduce the swelling?
Thanks. (link)
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It would be wise to have it checked out by your doctor. There may be nothing to worry about but it is always sensible to make sure that you have not done anything serious. As for the swelling I suggest that you run a flannel under the cold tap for a while and then wring it out and apply it to the swelling. Alternatively, run your hand under a cold tap or put some ice wrapped in a tea cloth over it. You could go to your local chemist and ask for something to apply to the bruising but your best bet is to have it checked by a professional. Hope that helps.
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Is there a forum with members about prophetic dreaming? I have tried google and all I found is that there is no new posts on those forums. (link)
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I am sorry that I can't answer this question myself but I do suggest that you ask this question of Isis. She is very good.
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It was midnight,i ve been walking through the graves ..there was noone exept me to cemetery..only darkness..and terrifying silence,someone waswhispering,laughing ..thought had gone mad..i did it for forgetting u,but even there i couldn't have done it,even fear couldn't make me put your name out of my mind..you'd never know how much i prayed to be with you.feel there's no one who can help me (link)
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I am not entirely sure what it is you are saying so I am going to guess that you lost someone you love through death.
If this is so, do you really want to forget them or just the pain that their death has brought?
If you have only lost them in the sense that they have left you for someone else, then time will be the healer. Noone can tell you how you should be feeling and I think that the walk in the cementary was an indication that you felt really hurt by this.
There is always a future and it is just a matter of going forward and meeting it. You may feel that at this moment in time you are alone and will never be happy again, but I promise you you can.
Everybody suffers at some time or another through loss and the only advice I can give you is to lean on a friend or a relative that you can trust with your feelings. Allow them to help you through this period and although you may want to forget the person you lost, in time you can reflect back on what they gave to you and smile again at good memories.
I hope that I have helped in some small way and I wish you all the best for the future.
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alright I realize this might sound strange, but you know the saying "trust your instincts", yeah how do people know WHAT insticts to trust??! We got so many!! It's like yesterday, I got the feeling that I should turn off the computer and go help my brother with his homework, I dont know why it just felt like something was about to hapen to him..so I did. But ended up falling asleep next to him, forgot to study, and am now, because of that pop-quiz, failing history. And in the middle of the night sometimes I get this feeling that I have to turn on the light, so I wake up, do that, and then can't fall asleep again, and I end up being totally grumpy the next day. And sometimes when people say pick a number, I have no clue what my insticts are telling me..´
so how do we know the difference between insticts/warnings and just regular thoughts or feelings? How do we know which of all our instincts to trust? (link)
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When you have a feeling inside of you that appears to have come from nowhere but it is telling you to be careful of some situation, that can be classed as instinct. As an example - recently my 19 year old daughter ran me from Uni and said that she needed to come home for the weekend but couldn't tell me why, she just 'felt' that she had a need to get away for the weekend. When she went back the following week, the house that she was living in were all on a disciplinary charge because the boys had lit a barbecue indoors and had a very raucous weekend. Now it wasn't serious but it could have damaged her credit rating. We could prove she had nothing to do with it and everything was fine.
For myself, on many occasions I have had the gut feeling that I should do something or go somewhere and have followed it through. The results can vary from meeting up with an old friend or missing an accident by minutes.
It sounds to me as if you are very aware of your inner being and as you get older and wiser, it will get easier to interpret them. Your natural instinct to care for your brother is very commendable and I hope he realises how very lucky he is.
As to your nighttime instincts: just before you go to bed tell yourself that you are going to sleep through the night and try to imagine yourself in a calm, peaceful setting. Should you wake up and feel the need to put on the light lay still for a few seconds, take a few deep breaths and try to fall asleep again. If that doesn't work, put on the light have a glance around the room then turn off the light again. Tell yourself that there is nothing to worry about and try to relax. The more you get worked up about something the more it is going to play on your mind. It will be like a vicious circle that needs to be broken. You don't say how old you are but I am guessing you are in your teens.
You may be blessed with a natural ability to help yourself and others with these feelings and if you need to explore these further please get back in touch.
Good luck and I hope that this has helped you some.
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