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My name is Elly and I am 18 years old. I live in Michigan and I graduated High School in '07. I'm currently attending a great college, but I'm home for the summer. It's too nice outside to sit on the computer all day, so I might not be as active on here as I would like.I guess a good way to describe me is experienced. I've discovered a lot about life and I can't wait to discover more... while having fun at the same time of course! ...BUT, like everyone, I have experienced things in life that I rather wish I hadn't. And I also feel that those bad experiences qualify me to help others with this column.
I have been in a serious relationship for over two and a half years now. I personally know that love is a difficult thing to nurture. It takes a lot of work. Life is NOT a fairytale where two people can simply love each other and everything will just fall into place. It doesn't work like that in the real world.
People on Advicenators are starting to disappoint me. Everyone says "ooh I want to help! I've experienced EVERYTHING!" Yet, I can't tell you how many questions I see with answers like "you could have googled that" or "we're not going to do your homework" or "I'm so sick of 'wow does he like me?!' questions." I used to sort of be like that, but now I realize how hypocritical that is. If I know the answer to a question, I will answer to the best of my ability without making you feel stupid for asking it in the first place. Advicenators is going to turn into a pretty nasty place if people just keep brushing off questions like that.
Rate or don't rate. I really don't care. But don't give me a 1 just because I tell you something you don't want to hear. Go to your mom for advice if you want sugarcoated answers.
I can give excellent advice on:
relationships/sex
friendship
family issues
anything about animals (i worked at a vet for several years)
college
advice
16/f
hey. i know i can always ask for you guy's help, because you've helped me a lot over the years =) today, i'm in a crisis, and I really need the help of someone who doesn't know the situtation very well. I'm sorry if this is kind of long, but, I need to get it all in there. So, I'm going to start fromt he beginning
There is this boy named JC. I've liked this boy now for a couple of years. But, it's not that I just like him. He's been my everything since I've known him. When I'm around him, it's like I can't even begin to put into words how I feel. This person is so important to me. I've written him a series of letters over the years, telling him how I feel about him. Recently, I've started a binder and I'm planning on giving it to him, without saying who it's from yet. I didn't feel ready to give it to him because he has a girlfriend. I know he doesn't really love his girlfriend because I know why he's with her. It has to do with their families and it's just a relationship of convinience. He just has her to say he has a girlfriend and their families know each other. It was just like convinient.
Sometimes, I have tried to get over this boy. But, I don't really want to get over him. When I'm ready to tell him, I'll tell him. But, I've had boyfriends, other guys. But, I mean, I got my first kiss when I was 14. I was there with this boy, who took me to eighth grade prom, and I wasn't just not going to kiss him. Besides, I had felt bad because, well, you know, imagine if I hadn't kissed anyone now because I was waiting for him, and he was there with his girlfriend. I would feel awful, and I would feel worse if I saw them together and I had never had a first kiss waiting for the boy who has a girl sitting on his lap, right?
So, I have a boyfriend now. He's a very sweet guy, and I like him a lot. These two boys go to different schools, rival schools. haha. But, yesturday we went to this fair at JC's school. I went because that school is my school's brother school and I wasn't going to miss it just because my boyfriend didn't want to go to the rival school fair, but he ended up going. So, we found this little hut in the school and we started making out and he gave me hickey. I was there with him, and some other people. So, my best friend texts me and tells me she couldnt find me, and I told her we found a spot. So, my mom drove us home, because I'm learning how to drive, and I don't like driving at night, because I'm still learning. He goes to this thing called paintballing and he lives with his grandparents, so usually his grandpa takes him. But, he didn't have a ride because his grandpa took the car with him on a business trip. So, he called this kid, to pick him up, so he could sleep over at his house and take him to paintballing today.
my mom sees the kids and totally freaks out. I see the kids and totally freak out. I'm so scared, it's not even funny. These kids were bad, and like really bad. So I send my best friend a text message saying, listen my mom and i are really scared of these kids, i don't think my mom wants me to be with him anymore, and that i needed help covering up the hickey what should i do? and I didn't send the text message to my best friend. The message, BY ACCIDENT was sent to my boyfriend. So, when he gets it, I had to make up some lame excuse that I switched phones with this kid, but now everyone is mad. I just want to fix this and I don't know how. I couldn't stop crying yesturday and I don't know what to do. I really really want to fix this. please can you give me some advice on this?
Thing is, last night, at 2 in the morning when I was crying, I called JC. I called himand I was about to tell him everything. But, he was sleeping and the phone was off. So, there we go. Anyways, I don't know if this is important but, please please help me
Please and thank you
It sounds to me like you have no idea what you want. You say you love JC, yet you're making out with your "boyfriend" at some fair.
First of all, if you think you love someone, don't waste your time on other people. Break up with your boyfriend and pursue what you really want.
Second of all, how sure are you that JC doesn't really like his girlfriend? Talk to him about it and get his feelings on the subject. If you find that he and his girlfriend are happy, you need to back off and leave them alone.
Thirdly, DON'T give him the binder. My advice is to throw it away. That would be weird and it would scare him away. If you really want to impress this guy, tell him your feelings in person. Your confidence will draw him to you.
If things don't work out wiht JC, it won't do you any good to mope about it. Liking someone for as long as you have is not mentally healthy AT ALL. It can easily turn into obssession and you will end up embarrassing yourself.
Bottom line, decide what you really want. Go for it. If things don't work out, it's not the end of the world.
Oh dear, I have a lil' prob right now..... Prom's already on the day after tomorrow and a ZIT is forming on my cheek! and it's sooo damn obvious! It's not like make up can cover it.... cuz it's really huge.... how do I get rid of it, or at least, make it less visible?!?!?! PLEASE, help me out!!!!!
thanks in advance! ;)
Crush an aspirin and mix it with lemon juice. It will create a paste. Place a pea size amount on each individual pimple. Leave on for 20 minutes and rinse with warm water. The pimples will be gone the next day.
If worse somes to worse, get your make-up professionally done and I guarantee they can cover up ANYTHING. Trust me I've done it before.
My boyfriend is having guy talks with someone.. about our relationship. It's nothing bad.. just kissing and telling, you know? Like how i reacted to a french kiss or whatever.
But he's talking to my ex. [we went out for over a year] so it's really .. awkward? I honestly, don't want my ex to know what's going on with me..
my ex told me that he couldn't tell.. what their guy talks were about so he wasn't supposed to mention any of it in the first time.
I really want my boyfriend to stop having those talks with him. Is there anything I can do? I don't care who else he talks to.. just not my ex. :/
I really don't think it's any of his business. I don't want to be rude and tell my boyfriend to stop talking to him though. That would make me look like a bad girlfriend..
That's not rude at all unless you make it so. Tell your boyfriend nicely that what happens between you two is private and you would like him to stop advertising it to the world... esp. your ex! Your boyfriend needs to respect your privacy. If he's a good guy, he will stop immediately.
how can i learn better self control when choosing what and how much to eat?
You need to set up a schedule for eating and snacking and STICK TO IT. Once your body gets used to eating at those times, the rest comes pretty easily. When going for a snack, remind yourself that you don't want to spoil your next meal, so have something small to tide you over. When it comes time for actual meals, focus on what level of hunger you have and not how good the food looks. If you time your meals correctly, you will never be "starving." Chew all your food slowly and sip water or juice between each bite. You'll get full faster and you'll actually be able to appreciate what you are eating.
ive been with this boy for almost one year..I know, amazing. and i really love him. but i want to do something special for this one year. any ideas at all? thank you so much! *our anniversary is in about a couple days*
For our yearly anniversaries, my boyfriend and I always take camping trips, since it is in the summer. I'm sure there are plenty of romantic things you two could do. Put your money together and go to a really fancy restaurant. Dress up, make reservations, everything. See if you could go sledding together for the day, and then go home and cuddle in front of a fire with some hot chocolate. It really depends on your budget. Just remember you don't have to spend a lot of money for it to be special. It's all about spending quality alone time together.
Hey,
Do you have to go to a vet college to be a veterinarian assistant? What are the requirements?
Thanks in advance!
-EDIT-
When I applied, I didn't ask to get paid, but I ended up starting at $7.50 an hour, which was absolutely amazing!
I didn't have to go to college. I was hired as a sophomore in high school. Just apply at your local vet and tell them your skills. I'm not sure if you are under 18 or not, but if you are, they will most likely give you a job that involves stocking medicinces, cleaning, and doing labwork. Depending on their insurance policy, you may not be allowed to restrain animals unless you are 18. In my case, I wasn't supposed to, but after so long they let me handle the animals anyway.
The most important thing when it comes to applying for a job like this is to CALL THEM BACK no more than a week after you apply to see if they have looked at your application.
There are lots of vets that are willing to hire a younger person, especially one looking to pursue a career in veterinary medicine, that will take care of the little things for them.
So, your best bet is to go in, apply, and tell them you were wondering if they needed any help cleaning cages or anything. In my case, I got pretty lucky when I was hired.
It's a lot of fun and it's a wonderful learning experience. I hope you get the job!
Hey! I am desperate for a job. I currently have one but I need another one for better pay, so I can prepare for college and other things.
1) What is the best time to apply for jobs?
2) What are some AWESOME job search links specifically for teens? Not career searches (like monster.com); just temporary jobs (like groovejob.com).
3) What businesses could I start besides babysitting? And how do I start it?
4)If I need to build a resume, what things could I do to catch the employer's attention and consider an interview?
Thanks for all the help, and please try answering all questions.
1) The best time to apply for a job is the holidays. Yes that includes summer. There's always a risk of getting laid off once the holiday is over, so make sure you work really hard so they will keep you.
2) I don't know of anything online, but I know that at most schools the office has a list where you can sign up and if they find a job they will tell you about it.
3) A business I have tried is dog-walking. It's simple and people love it... expecially busy people. It's most convenient in the summer when you don't have school. You'll have to create professional business cards and pass them out wherever other business cards are displayed. You need to decide how long you are willing to walk each dog, how much you'd charge for that time, what size of dog you can handle, etc. I made about $300 one summer by doing just that, so I'm sure it can work for anyone!
4) Google search "resume builder" and you'll find websites with tutorials on how to build your resume and some things to include. When making your resume, make sure to focus on ALL of your skills. Especially any challenging classes you might be taking in school.
I hope this is of some help.
in 30 days i have a class trip to florida and i feel chubby =( does anyone know any at home exercises i can do to loose weight ? i know i prolly should have started to worry about this months ago.
thxs.
I'm not sure how great the results will be in 30 days, but a good exercise for your abs is to sit on the floor with legs out in front of you, bend your knees slightly, lean back as far as you can while maintaining your balance and not touching the floor, keeping your feet flat on the floor, take a pillow and hold it out in front of you and rotate left and right.
Food-wise, obviously don't have any fast food. Drink lots of water, nothing else, and don't eat anymore than two slices of bread per day. I'm sure that will allow you to lose a little before you go.
when you upload this new version of itunes, do it completly wipe out your songs on the older version? i have like 2,000+ songs on it and really don't want to loose them.
No, you keep all your songs. I just did that the other day and had no problems with it at all.
Ok so as you all know summer is coming up =) and i found a super cute bikini that im gonna try to look good in. You know them people at the beach who wear them little bikinis and just look awful well i dont wanna be one of them. I'm 5'3 a little less than 110 im thinking. So im not saying im over weight its just my stomach is not toned. Its kind of gross...if i stand up its mostly flat its just kind of is flat | like that then go in / like that you know what i mean well not that drastic but just basically i could be alot skinner and toned. I wanna get like this because i have a hot new boyfriend and i wanna look good when i go to the beach with him. How do i get my stomach looking real good??
PLEASE HELP!!!!
If i have to ill stop drinking pop :) thats the extent ill go to :)
PLEASEEEE HELP
A really great exercise for that area is to sit on the floor, sitting up, with your knees slightly bent. Then lean back as far as you can without touching the floor, lifting your feet, and make sure you can keep your balance. Then, take a pillow in your hands, keep your arms straight in front of you, and rotate your torso left and right. It really really really burns and it helps A LOT.
14/f
okay so a few months ago i noticed that i had stretchmarks on my boobs. i thought they would go away after a while, but it's 6 months later and THEY'RE STILL NOT GONE! i've told my mom about them and she says that they will go away over time, but i want them to go away as soon as possible. i don't know what to do about them. they are really dark and make me self-concious. cause when we're changing in the locker room for gym, you can see them cause they like go above my bra. any help?
thanks - kate
Try wearing a better support bra from now on. That will prevent you from getting anymore. And since you are young, the stretch marks can and will go away if you do the right thing. Buy cocoa butter lotion from your local drug store and rub it on the stretch marks twice a day. That will make the skin supple and will adjust to your body. Then the stretch marks should fade. Good luck!
okay im in this like musical theatre club.
13/f
like i had to change into a skirt and some different shirt since like they were doing some scenes that i wasnt in and it was kinda boring to just sit there with the other people who were watching the scene so i was painting with paint that wouldnt wash off your clothes. then like it was my part and i didnt have time to change back so we like sat on the risers, i was like at the top... i was wearing like a long skirt too like inbetween my knees and ankle,and some guy was looking up my skirt!!!! its so gross and i didnt even notice cause we were singing like i saw him looking at me but i didnt think of it, and then my friends told me so i moved over to the other side to my other friends and then later he moved too and then i moved back and the saem thing happened t hen i moved behind some random guy.... its sooooo gross!!!! im neva wearing a skirt to that club again, hah. like was sitting on the bleacher like below me since i was like sitting on the stage.and my feet were even close together! what a sicko i wanted to tell him but one of my friends convinced me not to since he'd be embarrased??? whateva next time i'll yell it in his face jeez why are some guys soo perverted
and should i have slapped him? and i'll see this guy like almost everyday since we have a lot of practice cause our show is soon.. how do i act around him? and i dont like him.. i dont think looking up someones skirt is very attractive. but idk if he likes me cause hes also a 8th grader.. but thats.. just.. gross that he did that!! ugh! advice, PLEASE!
PS: and i dont really know him that well and i just thought he was okay and now my perspective of him totally changed.. i might be overreacting but idk!!
Wear shorts under your skirt. And if the guy does it again, tell an adult. You don't even have to talk to the jerk. They will get him kicked out of the theater and you won't have to worry about it.
my boobs are normal
but i dont have nipples like normal girls
they are some how.. inverted?
is this normal
Yea don't worry about it. Chances are you are still growing. They should go away eventually.
how can i get my boobs to get bigger or grow faster. any ideas? ? thanks!
You cannot make your boobs grow faster. It doesn't work like that. Experiment with different bras. Push-up bras might help you find what you're looking for. Just be patient and your boobs will grow.
My name is Jessica and I am 15 years old. Theres this guy and we were best friends since like the middle of last year. Then, over the summer, someone told me he liked me and i liked him too so i decided to tell him...and he didnt exactly say it back but he practically hinted it and he gives me so many signs that he likes me. But this year, he leaves me to go mess with all these other girls,but even after he leaves me, no matter what happens or whatever girl he messes with...he comes back to me and only me, and sadly..i take him back. And he recently started going out with this other girl and he constantly rubs her in my face and talks about her infront of me now...i guess to make me jealous, and he hardly talks to me anymore but he occasionally sends me text messages asking about my love life
which is kinda strange considering we have such a vague friendship now. About 4 months ago, before he started going out with that girl, he asked me out...but i thought he was just kidding so i was joking around with him like "shutup stop playing with me"...although it appears as though he was serious because after that he got mad at me and didnt talk to me for a month. It seems he always tries to avoid me or let me go, i guess cause hes afraid of getting too attached to me, but we
have the same friends so we often end up hangin around eachother. His girlfriend has been trying to get extra close with me lately, which is a bit weird, and he gets mad whenever I'm around her. When he is not with his girlfriend, he is always trying to talk to me more than anyone else and he gets pretty touchy. I always catch him looking at me and he always tries to get my attention.
I still really like him and i don't know why...because i cant think of anything i like about him and hes not even my type, and i'm not his either. I guess opposites attract though. But anyhow, i kinda feel like its my fault we're like this now because I rejected him when he asked me out...even though i didnt know he was serious. He told me he was afraid of rejection so maybe that hurt him. Anyway, i know he's taken and all, but does he like me or not? its really bothering me.
Well, Jessica, it sounds to me like this guy is an immature little boy who has no idea what he wants. He seems to like messing with your head. I think you need to move on and find a guy who will actually respect you and not play games with you like he is. Sure, you two can be friends, but there's no reason you should have to put up with his childish games. The sooner you move on and like other people, the sooner you can get over him.
If you find that that's impossible, why not come right out and tell him you like him? Say, "Listen, I don't really know if there can be anything between us at this point, but I like you. And if you don't feel the same way, please tell me so I can move on with my life. You asked me out before, but I couldn't tell if you were serious. Now you can come clean. What's it gonna be?" Short, sweet, and to the point.
I hope everything works out for the best. Good luck!
alright so heres the thing,
1 of the girls i liked at 1 stage recently got dumped by her boyfriend, she keeps putting herself to blame for the reason she was dumped, and i think she is slightly depressed, she thinks nobody likes her, which isnt true cause shes one of the most poplular in year 8, and i think shes at the point where she is going to get hurt,
i dont want anything to happen to her cause shes one of by best girl friends(friendship) can somebody please help me if you could thanks in advance
Spend time with her and help her get her mind off her ex. Have a girl's night with her. Invite all your friends and go bowling or to the movies. Evening if you just want to sit with her and listen to her cry her heart out over it, she'll feel a lot better knowing she has a great friend to cheer her up. Break-ups are really hard to get over. It's the reason girlfriends are so much better than boyfriends.
how can i make friends? i dont have a lot and my dad wants me to make more.. and so do i. so yeah thanksss =]
The best way to make good friends is to keep doing the things you love. Join a sport. Get a part-time job. Join a club. Go to parties. All are great ways to meet new people. As long as you're not sitting around at home and you're out and doing something fun, you'll make lots of friends.
19/F
Ok this seems long and soap-opera-ish but please bear with me. I’ve gotten rid of some of the details to make it shorter but please tell me if it isn’t clear enough. And please don't rant at me about being a cheating b**** or anything. I know I am a bad bad person. I just need you to tell me what to do.
Nate has always been the typical "rich bad boy" type. He gets a pack mentality when he is with his boys so he’s labeled an official ***hole. He's had a pretty bad past and when you get him alone, he’s different. He and I go a few years back when I wasn't into the party scene, and it got around that he "wanted" me. I shot that down and he gave up. I've been intrigued by him (i.e. had a crush on him) and we always used to exchange looks all the time at school and parties and I could feel the sizzles (but wasn’t sure it was mutual). Only last year did we start talking a bit inside and outside school. Then I finished school and didn’t see him.
In May, I met Blake. He’s ridiculously good-looking, the sweetest guy ever, and a cook. I didn’t think he was into me so I backed off then recently, Blake started showing interest in me and I was thrilled. We were perfect for each other, our life goals and views were the same, we had minor arguments sometimes, which ended with practically no resentment on either end, and we always made up quickly. It was the perfect relationship. I was still a virgin but he understood because he had only been with one chick (his year-long girlfriend in grade 11).
End of last year, Nate and I ended up at a party together. I was hammered out of my mind and we had sex in a bedroom. It was harsh to the point that he did it, shoved me away and left. I was broken after. Eventually, I told Blake and he was mostly sad for me and he did whatever he could to make me feel better. Including sex and it was just like the rest of our relationship, comfortable.
Then one day, Nate showed up at my house after I saw him at the mall and went home all shaken up. We had sex. We have had sex about five times now altogether. Usually it’s when I’m vunerable. It’s pretty much casual sex but it is explosive as in really really hot, stuff I thought didn’t exist outside novels. Blake and I haven’t even come close, even though there is some sizzle, it isn’t comparable. Told Blake once and he was mad but he came back and told me he’d still have me and he didn’t understand. Usually Nate just has sex with me and sticks around for a while and leaves but one time, he actually stayed after and kissed my face and stuff.
This is what confuses me. Blake and I are perfect for each other and it’s not a completely devoid of sexual drive either but when I’m with Nate, it feels right like it’s exactly where I belong.
I’m just so afraid of hurting Blake. I want to stay with him but at the same time, I feel like puking when I think about what a disgusting unfaithful slut I’m being. And I’m pretty sure Nate doesn’t want a relationship. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want to look back twenty years from now and regret it. I know that bad boy’s can’t be tamed but I know his history and I kind of still ache for Nate but Blake is just perfect.
Help?
Do you have ANY self respect WHATSOEVER?! There is more to a relationship that sex. It's girls like you that make the rest of the male population think we're easy. STOP sleeping with Nate. I don't care how great it is. If you stop sleeping with him, and you really think he is good for you, then maybe he'll come around and you can have an actual relationship instead just letting him have sex with you whenvever. I'm sure you are a better person than that. As for Blake, you keep saying over and over that he's perfect, but he's not that great in bed. What is the big fricken deal? You keep saying he's a great guy, but you just like Nate because he gives good sex.
This is what you need to do: put sex out of the picture. Don't do it at all until you've chosen which guy is for you. Sure, you enjoy having sex with Nate, but what else is he good for? Do you really think you have the patience to change a guy like him? Blake sounds like a coward, and most good guys are. I'm surprised he's still with you. You're a damn lucky girl if he gives you another chance.
It's clear that Nate doesn't want a relationship. It's clear that Blake really really likes you.
Why is this "decision" so hard?
Perhaps you are better off without both of them because neither one of them makes you completely happy.
does anyone know the song from vanessa carlton."white houses?" if anyone does can you please explain to me word by word what the song means and what its saying.
Thanks in advance!
I think it's about a girl who moves out on her own for the first time and is living with other people. It's about her losing her virginity and innocence. The white house is a symbol as something that is perfect, but is hiding a lot of impurities on the inside.
i woke up this morning with a stiff neck and it hurts really bad. i cant move but head to the left at all or it kills. what can i do to help this!? i need all the help i can get, thanks.
Don't move your head as much. Get an ice pack, wrap it in a towel, and set it on the sore part of your neck. Then, just sit on the couch, make sure you aren't turning your head, and watch TV. Keep the ice there for at least 15 minutes, but no more than a half hour. Then, replace the ice with a heating pad and continue keeping your neck still. The ice will loosen the neck muscles and the heat will relax them. This should make the pain go away. An aspirin or two would also help. If it doesn't go away by the end of the day, a doctor would be a great person to see about it.