khadiya's advice column

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Q: so i have these two best friends. and it just so happened that their boyfriends and my boyfriend are bestfriends also. well my two friends have lost their virginity to their boyfriends, and i didnt, and me and my boyfriend have been together longer than any of them!!! is this normal? i mean i wanna do it with him, but im scared i get hurt by him, i mean he is really sweet and he loves me but i just dont know..

Yes this is normal. Most girls think they are ready. Some girls just want to do it because everyone is doing it.

If you feel that the time is right i say go for it, But im not promoting sex becuase i dont know how old you are or anything.

But if you do decided to do it use protection because you can get pregnant the FIRST time.
And you shouldnt be scared because regardless of who you lose it to, someone can always hurt you.

Q: Late at night like after 12 I'm like an eating machine. I'm afraid that if i dont stop soon I'll gain 100 pounds and ruin my life.

What can i do to stop my late night binging???

It's making me depressed!!!

:(

Yea you do need to sleep. If you cant sleep focus on something else other than food. Or take some non addicting sleeping pills to solve your insomnia like benedryl* (sp)

Q: So i met this kid in my class and he told me that he would call me and we could hang out sometime....the class is over and he never called me back!

No I'm a dude and i dont want to sound gay but is there a reason why....maybe he forgot??

I doubt he forgot. HE probably just dont want to sound gay either. It goes two ways. He's probably thinkin' O, i dont want to constantly call him he might think IM gay. you never know. Next time you see him ask him when are you and him going to kick it, and see what he says.

Q: ok. im and 8th grade student at a catholic school in
irwin, Pa. the play for thhis year is "Alladin" im trying out for the majic carpet and others want like all plays how do i do my best and strivve to get it. 2 other want is my best friend...with it end as bestfriends or foes??
signed confused and young

I dont eve know what your saying. Correct your english then try again.

Q: my friend is like average sized not fat not skinny but right in the middle and her mom keeps tellin her dat shes gettin fat cause she don't wear a small in juniors anymore and shes startin to believe it and is thinkin of becomin anorexic jus so she can fit a small in juniors again so can you give me some advice to give her?PLEASE and THANK YOU

First, her mom is an asshole for insulting her own child.

growing up is a part of life. You need to make your friend know that she cant be one size for ever. Encourge her. Tell her guys like girls that have a nice shape not really skinny girls. Small isnt everything.

Her mom is just trying to live through her daughter's eyes. I bet she cant fit a small in juniors either.

Q: My parents want to give me a credit card for my 16th bday. How can they give me one that goes to their account?

Call up the company and tell them that they want to add another authorized user, and they need their own card!!

Q: so the week before christmas i made a discovery. at the very end of my vagina, in my upper, backker thigh there is some sort of bump, not outside but inside. it feels like a hard ball or something and its not acne that i know of because if i squeeze it really hard to 'pop' it than the ball just gets closer to the surface.

please don't write 'go see a doctor' because honestly i could give myself that adcvice and i'm scared out of my mind.

um wow...Im not great at stuff like this, but the only thing i think it could be is a cyst. But im not quite sure. Google it to see if you have the syptoms.

Q: What do you do? Like just stand there? I don't think so but what

Just come straight out with it. Will you go out with me? Do you wanna be with me? I really like you and i was wondering....

Just be straight foward. Dont stall!!

Q: ugg i cant stop my skin from breaking out everywhere, its not from my period cause i got it like 2 weeks ago. Is there any methods to helthier clearer skin? please help me=)
p.s any advice helps!

Are you on any kind of birth control? Because that will break your face out.

Me- I wash my face with lukewarm water and antibacterial soap like three times a day and it keeps my face nice and break out free!! No expensive stuff for me!!

I used to get the cleasing pads (like oxy pads) and wipe my face with those, then wash my face, then wipe it with those again. That did me some good too.
the neutrogena soap kinda works but it will dry your face out.
Thats all i got for ya!

Q: Does anyone now a way to make a nice month budget ?
I want to go on vacation but me and my bf are on a really low budget because we have to pay so much depts at the end of the month ,we work hard but we always broke

I don't quite understand this ,i did everything
But the worst is that the whole family is going back home (curacao)for the birthday of my grandma and I'm the only one staying because we don't have enough money
I wanna try to go though but I don't know how

(just for the record I live in Europe)

You should go to a place that will combine all your debts so you can pay it at a low monthy rate.

This vacation situation. Try putting 5% of your check in savings. Cut back on stuff you really dont need, and buy food in bulk. Buying in bulk is cheaper than buying small amounts at once!! Thats about all i got sorry?!

Q: Everybody has a NewYears reselution right?
well;; this year mine is to have abbs. i'm not fat but im not skinny. i'm pretty much the average size.. my stomach is pretty flat i weigh around 135 lower on good days and i'm about 5'5..

any advice for me on how to get abbs?!.. exercise and diet but plz mostly exercise

thanks!!

Crunches are good. You should do a few each day and build up on them so that you wont wear yourself out. Like 10, 15, 20,. They are good when you first wake up or are about to go to sleep.

Situps are great also. Same with situps. If you try to do too many you will be in pain!

Q: Taylor and I have been dating for almost 6
months now and things were going great. But
there are a few things he does that drive me
nuts but I put aside because I loved him.
Well, the feelings have died down, we barely
see each other, and those little things
he does bother me more and more.

What I'm trying to ask is how do I know
when to call it quits? Yes, I flirt with other
guys now but Taylor and I have broken up
before and I regretted it a day later so
we got back together. I don't want to do that
again.

How can I be sure its what I want?
And how do I go about breaking it gently?

Just go with your gut. I was in a sinilar situation. I di what had to be done. I broke up with him. Why would you want to waste your time if its not working? You could be with someone else or have your mind on other things. I say if you realized that you dont love this boy, then dont be with him.

HOW TO GO ABOUT IT: there is no gentle way to leave someone. The best thing for you to do is just tell him the truth in a nice way (I.E. its not working anymore and i dont fel the same way about you that i used to. Little things you do drive me crazy and i just dont think we need to be together anymore) And you hope that ya'll can still be friends. HEll, he is probably thinkin the same thing you said ya'll dont spend time together really so he is thinkin somethin!!!

Q: I'm a 23 year old girl ,my life has been a living hell since my parents left us ,this was 10 years ago (I was 13 )I was the oldest and as you can understand I was always the one who had to pull it togheter for my other sisters ..I lost almost my whole life doing this...,no good memories,only pain and sorrow .

I fully grow up by my self thanks to the power of God .
But now I live with my bf ,he is good to me .
But memories keep coming back to me ,sometimes I woke up in the middle of the night crying and it just go on and on .

I don't know why but I keep asking myself why they walked out on us like that ,It hurts like hell.
I don't have close friend because I'm afraid
I don't know why ..I have thousand of good friend and you could say I am very popular for making jokes ,organising nice school trip ,parties ,acting in stage plays etc etc and I really can give good advice but I really really can't have a close friend , the truth is I am even afraid to be close to my bf , I don't know why ......I feel so unhappy feeling this way

I feel like I'm in a lonely world , I feel depressed ,I barely sleep and I can't concentrate at school.
My sex life sucks ,just because I can't get in the mood because I cant't stand for people to get to close to me ,I just want it to be quick so he can get off me ,this is a really strange feeling I can't explain,
I love him but I can't explain this weird feeling and its not just with him .My ex broke up with me because I never did have sex with him..
All this is depressing for me ,I can't live like this any longer
I am really dying inside

help me ,I need advice

Has Something happened to you when u was younger? Maybe something happened that you dont remember.

You wont give your all to this man because you think he is going to leave yopu like your parents did right?

This isnt really a problem that anyone on this site can handle. You should see a pro. Someone who can help you deal with the long term emotions you have been dealing with.

The ony advice i can give you is to try to let go of the past, you did what you could do. Look forward and hope for the best.

Q: 17/f

how do you give hand?
[These are serious questions...]
- do you really put your hand around it and go up and down?
- Fast or slow?

When getting fingered...
- What if you smell? Will the guy notice it?
- Do they prefer shaved or not?
- Will my whole pants be off?

.. I am very confused...

1 better to go fast but not too fast.
yes they WILL notice if you smell
most prefer shaved
DEpends on the guy. some guys like to look while they are doing it and some guys dont care as long as they can touch.

any more sex questions email me personaly

Q: i get white heads a lot & idk how to clear them up, i tried everything proactiv, going to a dermatologist, tooth paste... ugg they wont go away! any tips to clearer skin?
thanx any advice will help=)

heres some stuff that causes it so you will kno

CAUSE OF WHITEHEADS

Â» Excessive exfoliation of skin cells contributes to the growth of milia. The dead skin cells quickly clog up the sebaceous follicles

» Some skin specialists believe some individuals produce sebum that is drier than normal. This creates an environment conducive to the formation of firm plugs. Such individuals would be more prone and have frequent and multiple blackheads and whiteheads. Sebum contributes to skin oils and people with dry sebum may have dry skin and this may be especially true of people with chronic whiteheads.

Looking for ways to get rid of or remove whiteheads?

An OTC topical medication is usually recommended for those people with whiteheads or mild acne. Apply the topical medicine directly onto the whiteheds and any other affected area of the skin.

You can’t get rid of whiteheads or blackheads overnight. It takes time. If used regularly, OTC topical medicines can be reasonably effective. Be patient. It might take 8 weeks or more before you will notice any difference in your skin. Most treatments would several weeks or even months before you can see any noticeable change.

Q: Ok so I used to like my ex boyfriend yet he has another girl friend. It used to be that whenever I wanted to I could have him back, but not now. Its been hard but Ive gotten over him. And Im finally happy for him and so forth, yet theres someone else I like. I cant tell my own best friend because well hes praticually a best friend to both me and her and I know that she wouldnt be to happy. Im so confused about him. Someone at work spread a rumour saying that we liked eachother yet she had no idea she is just a drama strater. Yet I dont know how he reacted really. Hs ex girlfriend works with us and I know that she was all worried but I dont know if maybe he was plaing it cool with her. I was playing it off becuase I didnt want any drama to start. I know that he tells our other friend everything yet I dont have the guts to ask her if he likes me. I need any advice I can get as to what I should do. I dont want him to just see me as a frined cus I feel much more. Do I just need to grow some confidence and ask him or just let it go? I knew on New Years Eve he wanted to kiss someone, yet he hung out with our normal crew. I dont know Im so ocnufsed on this. And I always get the short end of the stick everytime. Any advice would be great. Thanx =)

Just tell your freind. IF she is just a friend to him then she has no reason to get mad about anything. And if she does kno if he likes you or not she will probably tell you. This would be a good thing because if you stay keeping this a secret, your actually wasting your time. The more time you waste the less time your gonna be with him or someone else.

Q: ladies... how do you make a guy want you more without actually touching him? i mean, wut are some sexy things to say to him, or things you can do that will make him want you. im not looking to have sex by the way so please dont suggest that. thnx

Wear something exta sexy. Are you only with this guy? Go to the bathroom and come out in your bra and jeans, like your changing shirts or something.

BUT ima be real and tell you if he doesnt like you know, you cant MAKE him like u. AND if he pretends he does, hes juat trying to get in your pats.

Q: Okay, so this has been bugging me for the past 2 days. Please don't think I haven't googled this, I have for quite some time. Probably not enough time, but this is really anooying me. I'm the one person who hates these stupid lyrics questions, but I'm being a hypocrite and asking one anyway.
Okay, everyone knows that song Let's Talk About Sex by Salt and Pepa, right? Well there's a song that has some of those lyrics (let's talk about sex baby...etc.) and it also has the lines "it's 5 in the morning". I know it's sung by a guy and I'm pretty sure it's rap (because I heard it on a rap/hip-hop station. Also each time I heard it I was either flipping through stations and didn't really catch it, or it was almost over and at the end of the song. So, being the major hypocrite that I am, does anyone have an ideas what song this is?

I've googled the lyrics I remember and all that comes up is the Salt and Pepa song and that isn't it. So please, if anyone knows, answer this. I really appreciate it. And I do apologize in advance, this is pretty much the worst question I can ask.

Its called the hotline by pretty ricky.
"lets talk about sex baby, lets talk about you and me, lets talk about bubbles in the tub, lets talk about makin love!!

LOL!! the 5 in the mornin party is the begining of one of the verses.

Q: I burned myself on one of those mini-ovens while heating up some pizza. It hurt a lot at first, but went away after a few seconds. Now (about 1 and a half hours later), it's sort of throbbing and hurts. Any advice?

i got this off of a website for you cuz obviously these people know nothing.LOL!!

Cooling the burn—Active cooling removes heat and prevents progression of the burn. This is effective if performed within 20 minutes of the injury. Immersion or irrigation with running tepid water (15°C) should be continued for up to 20 minutes. Iced water should not be used as intense vasoconstriction can cause burn progression. Cooling large areas of skin can lead to hypothermia, especially in children. Chemical burns should be irrigated with copious amounts of water.

Analgesia—Exposed nerve endings will cause pain. Cooling and simply covering the exposed burn will reduce the pain. Opioids may be required initially to control pain, but once first aid measures have been effective non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs such as ibuprofen or co-dydramol taken orally will suffice.

Covering the burn—Dressings should cover the burn area and keep the patient warm

SORRY SO LONG!

Q: ok well ima a girl and a couple days ago i went to my aunts house and she has a son and he's my cousin.were both 14. well we kinda like each other alot and i guess we just set aside that we were cousins. well we ended up sleeping next to each other and he was touching me, like my boobs and butt and all that stuff. and well the next day we ended up making out like the whole day..and the thing is i liked it alot and i know it's wrong to like your cousin but i can't help it. why does it have to be so wrong? we both love each other and we have ever since we were little kids, we practically grew up together. i just don't know what to do, he kept asking me things like are you a virgin, do you wanna live with me when you grow up? and im just so confused on what to do, i don't want to end up having sex with my cousin, but then again, what if i do?, and what if i like it??! please help me. i need all the advice i can get.

Um bad idea. This is not only morally wrong but what if you to had a baby? It would have greater chances of suffering from birth defects.

I know you probably know that this is incest, inbreeding. Its not unsual, but people froen apon it. I think you need to make yourself realize that thats family. Its too many people in the world for you to be with a family member. You will find another guy that you like just like you like this guy. PLEASE end this. Put a stop to it. If you feel you cany stop it, dodge this person as much as possible.

bio

Its A brand new year!! And I havent really been giving advice lately so now IM BACK!! If you have something to ask dont hesitate to ask. DONT BE SHY!! I've been there! Or I know someone who has!

I am a black albino female whose been through alot!!! I have a lot advice to give. Im a very knowledgeable person, and i look at things from many different views. Im very blunt, so if you dont want to hear it straight dont ask me!! any thing else you wanna know get at me!

LET ME REINTRODUCE MYSELF REAL FAST, REAL QUICK!
iM A BLUNT PERSON, IF YOU ASK A GROWN UP QUESTION, IMA GIVE A GROWN UP ANSWER. RECENTLY A GIRL ASKED HOW TO GIVE A BLOWJOB AND I WAS VERY BLUNT AND UPFRONT WITH HER. I GOT SHUNNED FOR MY ACTIONS SO, BASICALLY. IM GOING TO TRY TO AVOID ANSWERING QUESTIONS LIKE THIS. BECAUSE ALL THOUGH THESE KIDS ASKING THESE QUESTIONS ARE YOUNG, THEY OBVIOUSLY BEEN DOING SOMETHING THEY AINT GOT NO BUSINESS DOING BECAUSE THE WOULDNT BE ASKING THOSE TYPES OF QUESTIONS.