I am an advice hound. I love to give advice, get advice, read advice columns. I love telling people what to do ; D
Truly, I have a love for people and an honest desire to see every individual excel and succeed in their personal lives, to shed themselves of as many burdens as possible and enjoy this strange and terrible and wonderful gift that is LIFE
Location: Los Angeles
Occupation: advice guru and life coach
Member Since: June 9, 2009
Answers: 900
Last Update: February 5, 2012
Visitors: 32934
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17/f
So my best friend Laura has been getting really really close with her boyfriend lately. So close, that unfortunately I feel like she's been shutting me out. =(
We'll make plans with each other, like to meet up somewhere. But usually what happens is that I'll text her saying like "I'm here. Where are you?" and she'll text back "Oh sorry, I went out to breakfast/lunch/dinner/whatever with John. I'll meet you in like half an hour"
It's other stuff too, like the three of us will be walking in the hallway, and then it'll be time for John to go away because Laura and I walk to class together, but lately she just branches off with John and says to me "I'll see you there, kay?" Like no..it's not 'kay'.
When all of us (and I mean our entire group of friends) sits together at lunch, those two will be at the end of the table, ignoring everyone else. It gets on my nerves. It's like everything not having to do with John has become way less important to Laura.
=( I don't mean to come off as like a controlling bitch, it's just that me and her have been inseparable since like fifth grade, and now she keeps blowing me off. I'm feeling more and more shut out from her John world. (link)
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You are not being a bitch. This type of thing happens a lot with people your age. Having a boyfriend is a big deal at that age and its easy to get swept up in everything. Your friend is not deliberately trying to ignore you, its more like she's actively trying to be with her boyfriend. I bet she doesn't even realize what she's doing. I know it leaves you feeling lonely, but try to cut her a little slack. She's "starry-eyed" right now, but it will wear off, eventually, and she'll figure out how to create more of a balance between boyfriend and friends. She's "in love", and that makes you do strange things. Have you ever liked someone so much that you've acted a little crazy? Not yourself? That's what's happening to your friend. Give it some time. I know it hurts right now but it will even out soon enough. In the meantime, do your best to concentrate on other friends and situations and ignore their "icky" behavior. Having a boyfriend comes with its own set of problems and soon enough she'll need a friend she trusts to talk to, so don't let yourself be driven away, just hang in there and look at this as an opportunity to forge some new close friendships. Good luck.
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What about the no contact thing it's been a week, what is the meaning of that we didn't have a fight or anything I'm just confused with part.Should I ask him if were still friends ?? He is single! (link)
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No. I know its difficult, but maybe he's wrestling with some things and he needs time. If the connection you say you have with him is real, then he probably misses talking to you too. Give it some time. I know its torture! But let this thing play out for a few weeks before you do anything. My gut tells me he's going to make a move, its just a question of when. Wait a while, and keep me posted. I'm interested to see how this works out! ; )
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I'm in love with my physics teacher. OMG someone help me!!
I don't concentrate in class anymore, I'm so distracted. And in public, he's pretty much an asshole so I can't approach him, In fact I never considered it.
I just don't know what to do!!
I think about him allll the time, I'm that far gone!!
Please give me a solution! (link)
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Its just a crush. Its a fantasy, so keep it there, in your fantasy world. You'll be fine : ) Its common for young women to develop crushes on male teachers. I bet he's had plenty of girls crush on him. Don't worry so much about it. Someday soon you'll think to yourself "What was I thinking?!" Until then, keep it to yourself and just take it for what it is. A schoolgirl crush that will go away on its own in time. It'll be fine. And maybe having a secret crush is also kind of fun in a way.
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I feel like I've been falling in love with my pastors I feel like I I I was love sick for about a week, lots of sleepless nights, can't eat but I force my self to lol, he's on my mind alot which bothers me. He flirts with me via eyecontact which is nice and holds the gaze I try to return it without being obvious cause I'm protecting our friendship as well as him. but he hasn't emailed me in a week. Is he struggling with feelings towards me??? This bothers me cause I miss our friendship. how can I get him back were both shy also. Should I call him we were fine talking to each other the last time I saw him help thanks!!! He also made the attempt to come over to talk to me when I was with friends and family soo confused I need advice and closure cause I like him!!! (link)
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Is he married? if yes, of course you already know what to do. If no, I think the only thing to do is let him take the lead. Anything else would look desperate and maybe even be obvious to others around you. Whatever relationship develops between the two of you will have a greater validity in the church if he made the first move. I'm afraid you'll just have to be patient with this one.
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19/F
I've fallen hard for this boy, Taylor, since last January of '09. Last summer, we had a 'thing'...Taylor kissed me and essentially let me know that he reciprocated the feelings. However, things didn't work out because I was entering my first year of college while he was entering his senior year of high school. We were at two different places and decided what was best for us is that we did our own thing. Taylor got a girlfriend, and I began talking to other boys. However, I couldn't stop comparing them to him.
Well, February of this year, we started talking again. He broke up with his girlfriend, and I found out through his best friend that Taylor just didn't feel anything with her and that every time he talked to a girl, he compared her to me. His best friend continued to tell me that Taylor was still in love with me. But (I know this is weird) I saw on Facebook that he was always talking to this girl from work and it got me jealous. I never did anything to confront him or scare him away. After all, we weren't dating. He took me out on a date and ended up kissing me and making moves to basically show that he still had feelings.
He ended up getting real drunk and making out with some girl. He doesn't remember the night. We had a talk and I legitimately believe that...I mean, it doesn't take away the hurt but I've been there and understand. However, this led to a talk about "us", and from what he said, all I can gather is that "he doesn't know where he's at" and "he's in love with me but he wants to try being single for awhile" (he's always had a girlfriend). I called bullshit and he asked me what I wanted, I said I wanted to be with him but what was best for me was to not talk to him until I got my feelings together...he was really upset about this. But today I found out that he's trying to decide between me and the girl from work...me = long lasting relationship, someone who cares, a nice girl...her = a short term fling, really hot but no depth...
Basically, I just don't understand why he would take me out and do all of those nice things when he didn't want anything out of it...he said in the future if he wants a relationship, he wants one with me but I don't want to be the stupid girl that waits. All of his guy friends are telling me he's going through a "phase" but I feel like that's an excuse. I'm tired of feeling like Im not worth the risk. But at the same time, I have never ever ever felt this way for anybody. I really feel something with him and we have something good going on... (link)
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"me = long lasting relationship, someone who cares, a nice girl...her = a short term fling, really hot but no depth..."
I think you hit the nail right on the head here. He doesn't want a long lasting relationship, but he cares for you. He knows that being with you = long lasting relationship. He's been trying to tell you that, but his feelings are getting in the way. Look, I think he does like you. But, like you said, he's always had a girlfriend. He's starting to recognize that he needs to find out a little more about himself as an individual before he commits to another person. He's wrong for stringing you along, but haven't you ever been in a situation where your heart wants something you know isn't right at the time? I think you're going to need to be the grown-up here and end this... for now. If you really care for him the way you say, you'll give him the space he needs to figure it all out. Don't wait around. Live your life. When he's ready, maybe you'll be there, maybe you won't. That's the risk he's going to have to take. The old saying is true "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it was meant to be. If it doesn't, it was never really yours in the first place" This will be hard, but nothing worth doing is ever easy. If you force this to happen, you'll never get the relationship you deserve. He won't be certain and you'll always have the nagging doubts. But if you give him the chance to get to know himself better, then when it does happen, you can feel secure knowing he made an informed choice, and you're the one he really wants. Don't be afraid to do the hard thing. Good luck.
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I have a good life...a great family, amazing boyfriend; no money troubles; no overbearing problems besides my weight and body image. I'm not morbidly obese, but I am overweight (150 lbs at 5'2"). I was reading the symptoms of depression and I pretty much have all of them..the worthlessness feelings, insomnia, not so far as suicidal thoughts, but I just haven't felt good in over a year. I've tried losing weight, but I haven't.
Could I still be depressed?
And I think I might try to join weight watchers, does that work? Maybe that will help... (link)
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I lost 75lbs on Weight Watchers. It is a great program. I love going to meetings and just getting the support of other people who know what its like to struggle with weight. They will teach you how to realistically deal with your food consumption and exercise. Its $10/week. That's it and its so worth it. Find a meeting and give it a try. I think they even have a promotion going on right now where you can get free registration. Do it! You can do it! YOu'll really like it I think. It worked for me!
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I was just curious. If you walk in on your girlfriend using a vibrator or toy, does it make you jealous or do you find it to be a turn on? Because I would think most guys would think its not a bad thing and actually like it, but my boyfriend seemed almost jealous, like I was using the toy because he wasn't doing his job right. Which wasn't why! lol (link)
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some guys do take it personally. They don't understand it really has nothing to do with them. I mean, come on... like your boyfriend doesn't masturbate just because he has a girlfriend.
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What are some awesome bands/singers like MC Frontalot and Gorillaz? Any others you'd recommend? New and old's good. Thanks (link)
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Well, I know that Gnarls Barkely came out of Gorillaz. They're cool. Phoenix has some good cuts. Do you have itunes? If so, turn on the genius. They'll suggest stuff for you and its actually pretty good.
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19/f so i go to the YMCA to work out. Well my mom decided that i didn't know how to use the machines so she talked to a guy who works there named kyle. And he agreed because unfortunately he helped me with this machine. He's 29/m btw. well anyways i was in a bad mood and my mom wanted me to go to this orientation where kyle would show me how to use the machines. When i first went there i was like look i don't know why my mom mad me come here but i already know how to use the machines. He started laughing and asked me if i wanted to leave, well i said no because my mom was going to come to exercise. So he showed me how to use the machines, but then he started making fun of me after that. and one time he was like your so angry and he started saying that he thinks i like him and i was like um no. and he still makes fun of me. He told me he use to be obese and then he become anorexic and now he's fine. and i think that's why. And i told one of my friends and she told me he does the same to her. So i don't know and one time when he was helping me i caught him staring at my body lol. so yeah i don't know what his deal is. (link)
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I wouldn't read too much into this. I agree with Melody's advice. If it bothers you have your Mom talk to the manager. Otherwise just be polite and go about your business. He's just a dude doing what dudes do.
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Okay so I'm going to jump straight into the water;;
I've had two guys tell me all this stuff about how amazing I am, and how I'm such a great person and etc etc.
& They know that they don't have to fill my head with that bs because no matter I'm here for them and they could have me at any second they wanted.
So I just don't get it, they tell me all this stuff... but yet they won't just be with me. I understand why one of them isn't (Let's name him John Doe)
I've known John Doe since I was 7, we started getting intimate and became best friends a little after I turned 16... And I'm okay with what me and him have...
Then there is lets name him Waka Flocka.
Waka Flocka and I were dating for a month, and we spent every day together pretty much, and if we weren't together we were talking on the phone. And he told me he loved me, and all this stuff, then he left me for ex, and now his ex is confused cause she also has somebody she is currently dating.. Which I am not mad about, and I understand the whole situation, and me and him have talked about it.. and I told him how I felt and stuff and he did the same. He's confused, cause he was ready to marry her and all this stuff, and then he met me and really likes me and she F'd that all up. because she couldnt stand to see him with someone else... so now he doesn't know what to do, and he tells me how he doesn't know why I want him because he F'd us all up and treated badly in the end, and calls himself a dumba** because he F'd up things with me even though he really liked/likes me.. etc etc.
& i understand he's confused but why fill my head up with the bs..
can any one explain it to me? And this might help, i dont know.. but me & these two guys are extremely close. We tell each other everything.! we even talk about other relationships we'll currently be in... that's one reason I love these guys so much because our whole relationships are based on honesty and there are no trust issues what so ever.. so the question is:: why are they filling up my head with things like im such a wonderful girl, and any guy is stupid for leaving me, and etc etc. when they clearly don't want me, yet they won't let me go. (if that makes any sense what so ever.) (link)
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Are you sleeping with either or both of these guys? If the answer is yes, then there's your answer. Every guy, no matter how nice he is in other circumstances, will say whatever he thinks a girl wants to hear to get into her pants. If you're not sleeping with them, I have a couple of theories about why they'd act like this, but my gut is telling me you are and that is complicating things for you. What does YOUR gut tell you?
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Today I realized that my social security card, driver's lisence and bank card are all gone. None of them are in my purse anymore and they're the only things missing. My purse is either next to me (even at home) or locked in my locker at work. The only time I can think of that I didn't have my purse right by my side is when I was at a friend of mine's house a few days ago for a bon fire. It was me and my boyfriend and her and her boyfriend. I contemplated leaving it inside or taking it out with me but figured that I was with my friends so it was safe. My friend went inside because she had been fighting with her boyfriend and that's the only time that I can think of that my purse has been around someone else and not me at the same time. I feel horrible for thinking that she could have taken them from me but there's no other possible way that just those 3 things that are the most important things I had in the purse are all missing at once. I called her and asked if she had seen them and she immediately said that she had just cleaned her entire house even scrubbed the walls and didn't see it anywhere. She then went on to talk about how she had just recently lost her credit card and Id as well. I don't know what to think right now, any advice? I already canceled my card but don't know where I should go from here. Someone has my social security number right now and all I can think about is all of my student loans! Any advice about what to do about the missing items or about my friend would be greatly appreciated. Thanks (link)
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This has happened to me before. Go to your local Social Security office immediately and report your card stolen and apply for a new one. Cancel your bank card and call DMV to find out how to replace the driver's license. It may be too late to report it missing since it happened a few days ago, but its worth a call to the police department to find out the procedure. Sometimes having an official police report can help with filing for the new documents. Take action quickly. If someone starts using your SS# it could mess up your credit and flag your # for years. It took me a long time to clear up my mess. A lady was writing bad checks with my # and it messed me up. So act quickly. Don't wait. Its a pain but you've got to get on the phone NOW and start informing yourself. Even if you have to miss work to go down to the offices and start the process, you need to do it now. Its really important. As for your friend, tell her you're missing your stuff from the bon fire the other night and ask her did she see anything suspicious. Then just observe her reaction. That will tell you alot. Otherwise, you have no proof, so there's no sense in accusing people that you consider friends. This SUCKS! So sorry you have to deal with this. Good luck.
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This is super pathetic:
So I dated this guy for three weeks. We only really knew each other for like, a week and a half, but we started things really fast. Everything was going really well and i was super happy. But then randomly two weeks ago, he dumped me and i didn't really get an explanation as to why. It's been two weeks and im STILL stressing about it. I know we barely knew eachother (which is probably why it didnt work out), but its been a while and i still like him. He said we could be friends, but when i try to talk to him he totally blows me off. How can i stop stressing about him and move on? Thanks so much ♥. (link)
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I know NOBODY likes to hear this, but if you mean you slept together, there's your problem. It may sound old fashioned, but a man needs a chase. He needs to conquer. When you give it up so easily he has nothing left to strive for and he's on to the next girl. The only way to make sure a guy is into you for who you are is to wait until you are in a committed relationship before sex. That way the guy has to get to know you, and he'll like you for all the things that you are, instead of just for sex. I've been married for 11 years and my husband and I met in college. To this day he will say that if I had given it up when started dating (we did not have sex until we were engaged) he never would have married me. He was kind of a player, so being the only girl he couldn't sleep with intrigued him, and as he got to know me, he realized he really cared for me, and then it wasn't such a big deal to wait. I know none of this is much of a comfort to you right now. You're still hurting. But it can help you in the future. Just know that every experience is a learning experience.
You need walk away from this one. He's a coward for not being totally honest with you and stringing you along, but its obvious he just used you and now he's over it. It sucks. Its not fair and he's an ass. So do whatever you can to cut all contact with him. Don't call him, text him, email him, just leave it alone. It will hurt at first but I promise, as each day passes it will get easier and easier. You'll be a stronger person for this if you let yourself learn from it. Good luck!
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Can you smoke weed and still be a good singer? Someone told me that it makes your lungs stronger- because it makes you build up something or whatever- dont know how true that is.please don't lecture me about not smoking weed, thanks. (link)
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I think you can be ok, but really, the true pros stay away from that stuff, not necessarily for moral reasons, but because they understand that the music industry is highly competitive, and any advantage helps. There is more tar in one "hit" of weed than in an entire cigarette. It really affects your lungs. You may not notice it right away, but over time it affects your ability to regulate your breathing. Whoever told you it makes your lungs stronger is an idiot. If your lungs were filled with water would they be stronger? Why would they be stronger if they were filled with tar? If you really want to pursue singing professionally, you need to keep you lungs and throat as clean as possible. Look at Whitney Houston. She's been a smoker (weed and cigs) forever. Her voice has suffered greatly over the last decade. Its really sad. But you don't have to take our word for it. Find a vocal coach and ask them. See what they say about it. They can probably give you a more "scientific" explanation too. Anyway, whatever you decide to do, good luck! Go after your dreams with determination and passion and you will meet success.
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18, male. Me and my girlfriend of 10 months broke up about a month ago. Ever since, i'v been rebounding trying to get over her. Lately i'v been feeling better, and this weekend I had sex with another girl. But tonight I went and hung out with my ex. Things went perfect, and we both clearly miss each other and could without a doubt get back together after prom. Except, like I said, I had sex with someone else. Should I tell her, or just get back with her and live a lie? And if I tell her, how should I do it? =/ Thanks a lot to whoever can help me out here. (link)
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No. There's no need. If you tell her, it would only be to ease your own guilt, and that's selfish. Honestly, how would it help her? do you really think it would make her feel good? Trust you more? No, it would only serve to make her feel insecure and maybe even betrayed. Don't be selfish. Keep it to yourself and forgive yourself. You were not dating. You were hurt and trying to move on. You are not living a lie. You are just not telling her something that would hurt her that really had nothing to do with her. Because you care for he. Please do you and your girl a favor and just forget all about this.
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My husband and I are just not communicating properly. We've been married for 12 years. HE's from Holland, I'm Canadian...that's been a cultural issue in the past. We get frustrated easily with each other. We were both the youngest in our families...if that makes a difference. Our kids don't see us comprimise, figure out problems together or work together very often at all and I'm afraid we won't teach them how to do those things properly for their future. Where do we begin? (link)
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This is not panic time. This is perfectly normal. A lot of couples make the mistake of thinking that once they're married their relationship is set in stone, because generally things start out smoothly. But your relationship is a fluid, changing entity. That means that you have to sit down together and re-evaluate every once in a while. You are both human beings that will always be growing and changing. As a result, your relationship will grow and change as well. So you can start by sitting down together during a peaceful time (pick a time when your household is the calmest) and just ask each other what has changed for each of you over the years. Then talk about what needs you think you have and how you can help each other meet those needs. Its hard for some people to sit down and talk like this. But that's part of the problem. People avoid it because they feel silly or stupid, but it is absolutely necessary to a thriving marriage. If you are religious in any way and plugged into a spiritual community, find out if there are any classes or marriage studies offered, and take them. I've been married 11 years and my husband and I take EVERY marriage class or study that comes up in our church, even when things are going fine, because it prepares us for the times when things get strained, and they always do at some point in any marriage. Just a suggestion. But if you do sit down and talk and you still feel you haven't made any progress, you need to seek out a third party to help you navigate this difficult process. Find a marriage counselor. It will help you more than you can imagine, and if your husband feels weird about it, tell him its very important to you and ask him if he can do it as a gift to you. If it helps, tell him you'll only go for a month. If he doesn't think its helped, you can quit. But it turns out to be good, you can continue going until you feel you have all the tools you need to keep your marriage thriving. Good luck.
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I feel like i can't talk to my dad like a daughter should be able to it feels like whenever i try to
have a conversation with he gets frustrated and wants me to go leave which i usually do he says negative things & comments towards me almost as if i'm not good enough he's said some hurtful things to me in the past which i'm not going to repeat things that you don't expect father's to say to their daughters
Any suggestions on what i should do.. (link)
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Write him a letter. This will serve two purposes. First, it will give you the chance to get your feelings out in an organized manner without worrying about getting choked up or emotional. Second, it will give your father the chance to hear you out without getting all upset and mean because you are getting emotional. In this letter, be sure to explain that you wish you could talk to him more and you want to share more of your feelings with him, even if he thinks they are stupid. Be sure to include in this letter that you love him and try to think of things that you appreciate about him. People are more open when they feel they are not being "bashed". He'll be more likely to really understand what you're saying if he also knows that you're not saying he's the "bad guy". Its hard to communicate with parents sometimes. Sometimes parents say things they don't mean, not because they hate you, but because they love you so much that when they see you're hurting they just don't know what to do and its frustrating. They want to see you make good choices so you can avoid pain and suffering, and when they think you aren't making the right choices, they can seem angry and say things that are negative, but they really just mean "I love you so much, I can't stand to see you do things that I know will end up hurting you". So write it down in a letter and give it to your Dad. You may be surprised what he has to say. Good luck to you.
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17/f i'm going to this amusement park with my friends & family for the weekend. my one friend, has an eating disorder, and was just put into the hospital over the weekend, but she said she'd be out by the time to go she thinks, the problem is, I don't really feel its a good idea for her to come now. first of all, we plan on swimming, and i don't want anyone giving her dirty looks or anything for how skinny she is. (weighs 70 pounds, you can see her all her bones..) also, my parents don't feel comfortable with her coming, because they are afraid she won't eat or whatever & don't want the responsibility. how do i uninvite her? i don't really want to tell her my reasons, i just need a good excuse! (link)
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Do you think uninviting her will help her, or harm her self-esteem even more? You're her friend. She's obviously having serious issues and needs support. What are you and your parents telling her by suddenly booting her from an event that was previously planned? I totally understand your and your parents' discomfort. It is justified. However, she's already been invited. It would be rude to just dump her, especially since you don't want to tell her why. She would be obsessing about forever. Your parents may not feel comfortable about her coming, but they should understand that they will not change her habits in one outing. She is who she is. They shouldn't try to shoulder the responsibility of making her eat. Maybe they will feel more at ease if they can agree that her issues are not theirs. And maybe your friend could really use the company of people who don't judge her and really care about her and who can help her realize that she has so much to offer other people.
Look, chances are you may not even have to deal with this at all. I'm betting that even if she makes it out in time either her parents or her doctors will not want her to go, and that's if she gets out in time. 70lbs is very unhealthy. It would seem like one would need more than just a week in the hospital to improve. So if you say nothing, you may be able to avoid having her there AND having to hurt her feelings. But I don't think you can or should "uninvite" her. Its wrong, even if you feel uncomfortable, and its not what a friend would do. Put yourself in her shoes for just a minute and think about how you would feel. If it looks like she's coming and you still feel icky about it, talk to her privately. Tell her you're worried the outing might be too much for her and you don't want her to feel uncomfortable or freakish in anyway, and you don't want to have to feel uncomfortable for her. But wait to see how the hospital visit shakes out first. Best case scenario is that she's still admitted next weekend and then no one has to worry about it. Good luck.
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18/f
with 18/m
How ridiculous is it for two 18, almost 19 year olds to move in together in our own apartment? We've been dating for a year and a half. I have problems with my parents but they seem to think there's nothing wrong but its bothered me enough that it stresses me out when I'm living there, so I spend 90% of my time at my boyfriend's house. Anyway, he wants to move in together but I feel like my parents would flip...I KNOW they would flip out. I was just wondering from an outside point of view, do I have a valid argument or is moving in with a teenage boyfriend completely ridiculous? (link)
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I wouldn't call it ridiculous. Its not a good idea though. Living together is a MAJOR thing, and its going to change EVERYTHING. E-V-E-R-Y thing! You may have problems with your parents but you need to decide if they are bad enough to risk your relationship with your boyfriend. And yes, moving in together at this age will be a risk. The statistics for couples who live together are dismal. While the national average for divorce is about 50%, the average for divorce among people who lived together first is almost 80%. Not that you're planning on getting married anytime soon, but its something to keep in mind. To me it speaks to the fact that there's something dishonest about the idea that living together is always the next logical step in a relationship. Its hard to define, but things just change and living with another person brings stresses that you never thought you'd have. I'm not condemning you for thinking about it,I'm just saying you must think long and hard about it, and weigh the pros and cons, and you must be willing to accept the consequences of your decisions. If you do decide to move in, be sure you have the ability to pay rent for yourself, should anything happen. YOu can't just depend on him. I'm sure he's a nice guy but things happen and as a young woman you must be prepared and independent. Try to talk to your parents about this. Approach them calmly, in a time of peace, a time when you're not fighting or anything, just a regular time and lay out your issues and desires in a calm and rational manner. Write it down if it helps. It may sound lame, but it really does help to organize your thoughts, and it may even help them to see that you have thought about this seriously and you genuinely want to do the right thing. Good luck. Whatever decision you make will be your own, so OWN it!
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Okay, so I lovee to write so im writing a novel. I really need ideas because I'm having some serious writers block. It's about a teenage girl named Addison who is told in the beginning by her father that they're moving. They are currently living in a small town, greensboro north carolina and she loves it there. she was born and raised there and she considers no other place home. Her father is a corporate attorney and they are moving because he got a job offer in manhattan, new york city. Addison hates the city she's more of a suburban girl. I havent started writing the part where they actaully get to manhattan yet because im stuckk on what to write. I left off with Addison going to her room after her dad said they're moving. Then what? Any ideas would be greatt thanks.
ps: she also has a mom who lives in another state. her parents are divorced. she has a little brother and sister but i don't know how to incorporate them into the story. (link)
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It would be ideal if you could take a tript to New York and actually experience the city. That would give you a lot of ideas about how this character reacts to life in NYC. However, if you can't do that, start looking up info about NYC. Rent movies, watch documentaries, read essays about the city. With the power of the internet all of that information is at your fingertips. Take advantage of it. You'll get lots of new ideas just by being able to look at how other people really live and work there. Good luck!
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Tell me if this is normal because i'm freaking out.
I'm a 17 year old girl. Junior in High school. I still can't wear tampons. Is that bad?? I only wear pads and i've tried soooooo many times to try tampons but they hurt too badly and feel weird all the time and i just overall hate them. I feel so different. like other girls can handle sex and stuff, but i can barely put in a tampon! is something wrong with me?? It will be a year with my boyfriend in May and he's always wondering why I don't want him to finger me. If i tell him, or anybody for that matter, i'll be so embarrassed and feel like i'm so different than everybody.
Helppp i'm desperate.. everytime i try, i start crying in frustration because it NEVER works out. I get about an inch in, and then it starts to feel weird and gross.
If it helps, i'm terrified of needles. so i think that putting in a tampon reminds me of a needle going in me. do you think that could be a reason?? (link)
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It could be. Or it could be that you are inserting them wrong. That happens. When you do it right it slides right in and you don't even notice. It could also be that you have a vaginal condition that makes the walls of your vagina tighter and so anything feels painful. That is actually quite common, although many women don't discover the full extent of it until they try to have sex on a regular basis. I think you should see your doctor and get examined. If its a physical problem, you need to take care of it as soon as possible. If its not physical, at least you have the peace of mind of knowing its nothing serious. Sometimes, when you're stressed, you're muscles tighten up and it makes it hard and painful to have sex or insert tampons. Whatever the case may be it is perfectly fine to not use tampons, and you're not weird b/c you don't want your b/f messing around down there. Its FINE! Stop worrying about it. You know your body and what feels right and what doesn't and don't judge yourself by how you think other people do things.
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