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Should I move on or what?
19/F
I've fallen hard for this boy, Taylor, since last January of '09. Last summer, we had a 'thing'...Taylor kissed me and essentially let me know that he reciprocated the feelings. However, things didn't work out because I was entering my first year of college while he was entering his senior year of high school. We were at two different places and decided what was best for us is that we did our own thing. Taylor got a girlfriend, and I began talking to other boys. However, I couldn't stop comparing them to him.
Well, February of this year, we started talking again. He broke up with his girlfriend, and I found out through his best friend that Taylor just didn't feel anything with her and that every time he talked to a girl, he compared her to me. His best friend continued to tell me that Taylor was still in love with me. But (I know this is weird) I saw on Facebook that he was always talking to this girl from work and it got me jealous. I never did anything to confront him or scare him away. After all, we weren't dating. He took me out on a date and ended up kissing me and making moves to basically show that he still had feelings.
He ended up getting real drunk and making out with some girl. He doesn't remember the night. We had a talk and I legitimately believe that...I mean, it doesn't take away the hurt but I've been there and understand. However, this led to a talk about "us", and from what he said, all I can gather is that "he doesn't know where he's at" and "he's in love with me but he wants to try being single for awhile" (he's always had a girlfriend). I called bullshit and he asked me what I wanted, I said I wanted to be with him but what was best for me was to not talk to him until I got my feelings together...he was really upset about this. But today I found out that he's trying to decide between me and the girl from work...me = long lasting relationship, someone who cares, a nice girl...her = a short term fling, really hot but no depth...
Basically, I just don't understand why he would take me out and do all of those nice things when he didn't want anything out of it...he said in the future if he wants a relationship, he wants one with me but I don't want to be the stupid girl that waits. All of his guy friends are telling me he's going through a "phase" but I feel like that's an excuse. I'm tired of feeling like Im not worth the risk. But at the same time, I have never ever ever felt this way for anybody. I really feel something with him and we have something good going on...
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High school guys don't want long lasting relationships. Especially if their in their senior year of high school. He'll be going off to college soon, and going to many parties and getting drunk and making stupid decisions. He's simply trying to find short term flings that will have no hard core relationship parts involved that you're trying to create.
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"me = long lasting relationship, someone who cares, a nice girl...her = a short term fling, really hot but no depth..."
I think you hit the nail right on the head here. He doesn't want a long lasting relationship, but he cares for you. He knows that being with you = long lasting relationship. He's been trying to tell you that, but his feelings are getting in the way. Look, I think he does like you. But, like you said, he's always had a girlfriend. He's starting to recognize that he needs to find out a little more about himself as an individual before he commits to another person. He's wrong for stringing you along, but haven't you ever been in a situation where your heart wants something you know isn't right at the time? I think you're going to need to be the grown-up here and end this... for now. If you really care for him the way you say, you'll give him the space he needs to figure it all out. Don't wait around. Live your life. When he's ready, maybe you'll be there, maybe you won't. That's the risk he's going to have to take. The old saying is true "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it was meant to be. If it doesn't, it was never really yours in the first place" This will be hard, but nothing worth doing is ever easy. If you force this to happen, you'll never get the relationship you deserve. He won't be certain and you'll always have the nagging doubts. But if you give him the chance to get to know himself better, then when it does happen, you can feel secure knowing he made an informed choice, and you're the one he really wants. Don't be afraid to do the hard thing. Good luck.
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Ok, i think that Taylor is just not a one girl type of guy. I mean everybody makes mistakes and the whole getting drunl thing sounds like a mistake. But i honestly think if he loves you the way he says that he does he wouldn't even be condisering going out with the girl from work. It is obvious that you love him too so this means that you should try to work it out. But you are having a lot of doubts which means maybe it is not meant to be. Things happen for a reason if it is meant to be it will most likely happen. Do what you heart tells you to do. Try and work it out... Good luck... hope i helped...
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