romeoandrebecca's advice column

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Q: Well I am a 14 year old girl and I feel like out of my friends I am the ugly one. The guys always talk to them and ask them out but never me. I know I need to be more social but I don't know what to talk about. I need advice on how to make myself prettier and get guys to notice me.

I have been dating for a while now. I'm a year older than you. We all want to be noticed by guys, but here's my advice to you:

Don't change yourself for a guy.

You are beautiful just the way you are. You shouldn't change your appearance just for a guy. You are beautiful in your own way out of your friends. Sure, guys may not notice you as much, but you are young. You will learn more and more about love and relationships as you get older, but know this now. No guy is ever worth it if you feel like you must change. A guy that really is into you will accept you just the way you are.

As for feeling ugly, don't feel that way. You just need a self confidence boost. Get a pedicure with friends or have a makeover party. Do what makes you feel pretty. Wear something that makes you feel confident in yourself. I hope I helped! Inbox me anytime if you need anything :)

Q: Should I be worried by my loss of the "good" emotions as they are. Empathy, love, symnpathy all those are lessening each day some I don't even feel at all anymore. Should I be worried though I don't seem to care much at all about them?

I used to feel that way. Up and down. Happy, sad, happy, sad. It was a constant battle. I felt so emotionless, so depressed. I started spending so much time alone. But then I just decided to pick myself up and rediscover who I am. I started getting back into my old hobbies and going to counseling and spending time for myself.

Try talking to a counselor or a doctor. Suggest antidepressents. I'm good on them. Also, find yourself again. Find the person you were before all these feelings were lost. Spend a day or two outside, for a walk or something. Go to a coffee shop and spend some time to think. Or simply relax and listen to mellow music. It worked for me. I am so renewed and happy with myself. I hope you will regain your emotions.

Any more help, just message me! I hope I helped!

Q: ok so my mom is always yelling or telling me im a b**** or a little f*** and i'm getting so upset and tired of it. she tells me and my sister to shut up and go the f*** away whenever we try to talk to her about anything cuz she is always on stupid facebook on her phone whenever she isnt screaming at a member of my family. and i hate wen she yells so much because she yells much louder than my neighbors who were actually in the military (no lie). and sometimes she squeezes my face and screams in my face for some dumb reason (she has done this many times in the past but not too recently.) and other times, she says "i brought u into this world and i can take you out" and she says that she will kick me to the ground, help me up then kick me down again. and she says that she will smash me and my sister's heads 2gether. anyway, is this normal and ok for her to do? oh and fyi, she has never beat me before. she has just grabbed me with her nails and they went into my skin a little bit a few times and she has grabbed my face but nothing horrible. . .

My mom freaks out like that too. She's rather intimidating and violent and brings me down like your mom does. In my opinion, it is not okay. Children shouldn't be treated like that. But I'm just following my morals. She's your mother, and she obviously needs adjustment.
My advice: grow from it. Learn from it. Although it's hurtful to see your mother as such, you really can't do much because she's an adult and she is older. Accept that fact firstly. Don't try to fight it. All you can do is learn to adjust to it, or try your best to act better and avoid it. I'm not sure the cause of the way your mother acts, but try suggesting counseling or talking to a school counselor. Talking always helps. My mom and I used to go to counseling and it helped get out awkward feelings and past pain. Also, try talking to your mom. Tell her it hurts when she calls you negative names. Tell her you want to be friends and not have so much yelling and drama. Try to spend some quality time with her to lighten weights off your shoulders, like going out to eat or getting pedicures... I hope I helped!

Q: I'm looking for good songs for people in a relationship, but not quite in love yet.
I've never been in love, and believe it could be possible with this one.

If it Kills me by Jason Mraz.

Untouchable by Taylor Swift.

Love Song for No one by John Mayer.

Cocoon by Jack Johnson.

Please Take Me Home, Rock Show, or First Date by Blink 182.
Nevershoutnever has love songs about crushes and such. Look up some of their songs.

Q: Hiii.
I really like incubus,311,sublime, and kotton mouth kings. I heard slighty stoopid is a good band too but I'm not sure which album of theirs to buy..any suggestions? So basically I want to mostly get advice on what other bands I should check out that you guys think i would like that are similar to this type of music.
Thanks (:

We have almost the same tastes!

For Slightly Stoopid, I recommend the album Closer to the Sun. It's good.

Some bands I would suggest are Bargain Music, Boxelder, B Liminal, and Jack Johnson, John Mayer, Jason Mraz. Those are some related artists if you like mellow music.

However some other bands I like that are like Sublime are Ballyhoo! Dirtyheads, and Sublime with Rome.

And here's some other, just out of general tastes of mine. Some other bands I love are Blink 182, Matchbook Romance, Secondhand Serenade, and nevershoutnever. I hope I helped!

Q: In December I finally got up enough courage to dump my boyfriend of two years. Probably the main reason we were even dating for that long is because he was a manipulative asshole. He was also 8 years older than me, I'm 19. He twisted my life so much that by the end of the relationship I didn't even know who I was. I knew who I had been and wanted to be, which was, IS and always will be: happy. But I was miserable because he managed to make me forget that. Much drama followed though I tried to stay away from him. I've only had contact with him once after that and it was on accident. Anyway, that relationship was my first one, and I think it really messed me up in what I feel/expect/know of and about men.

However, something interesting happened. Soon after we broke up I was at a party in my hometown that my friend dragged me to (I was down on winter break) and I didn't really know anyone. She was with her boyfriend, so not wanting to be alone I started talking to the DJ who I actually found very attractive. I'd also been trying to learn how to DJ so we talked about that, which turned into talking about music, and finding out we have the same tastes...which led to getting a drink and talking...I was also a little tipsy, so eventually we kissed some and then I had to leave. We exchanged information and being a little out of it I texted him that I liked him. He answered back that he really liked me too. I was in no position to like anyone at the time, so when I saw the message the next day, I ignored it. The whole month of January, even after going back to school he was inviting me places (he actually doesn't live too far from my school as it turns out) and I kept ignoring him or being busy because of drama with my ex and my wanting to be "alone" until one day I agreed to go out with him and his friends to an event. That day was probably one of the best days I've ever had in my life. It truly was that fun. His friends were all hilarious, super nice, and he was great. So we started hanging out. I had always wanted a close group of friends just like the people I met and so I fell in love with the atmosphere and crowd. It was a big difference, hanging out with people my own age, enjoying life, not worrying about things. With my old boyfriend we would sit around and do nothing, he would talk about his career a lot, and resent me for ever going out with friends from school. He was rude, obnoxious, condescending, never impressed by anything I did...so this was an amazing change of pace. As me and this boy get closer, it turns out hes incredibly sweet, fun, generous, open, optimistic, loving, etc etc....not to mention he worships me. I felt like I was living a fairy tale. He eventually after a month of dating asked me to be his girlfriend, and me, afraid of it being too soon, said no. Well two weeks after that I said yes because my friends made me realize I shouldn't give up such an opportunity because of a bad relationship. Now its going great and everyday he is sweeter and we have better and better moments. He is absolutely amazing to me, and this is where my issue comes in, I'm having trouble accepting this. I have never met any guy to treat me like he does and do things for me out of sheer want of doing things for me. Its my ex's fault of course, because whenever he did things, they usually had a elfish reason behind them, or it was a test, or he expected something back, or he felt obligated because of so and so reason....this is completely different. This boy adores me, he is sweet, a good guy...I really, truly appreciate him. I don't ever doubt him...its just my emotions, they are dulled.

The reason I am a bit worried is because the other day when I went online to search something on his computer, recent history came up and showed he had searched "how soon do you wait before you say I love you" This is incredibly sweet but it made me realize hes at a level that I am not, even though he has been amazing to me. And I feel that I am not able to be at that level because of my past. He is also only 3 months older than me and I'm pretty sure this might be his first legitimate relationship that hes taken seriously, which may be why he feels so strongly. I do not under any circumstance want to hurt him, but I feel like its going to take a lot more time for me to be able to love, and if indeed he says it and I am not ready to, how can I react? I don't know what I should do, or say...he is the sweetest, most genuine person I've met and I truly do not want to hurt him...

You and I are in the same situation. I have been hurt bad in the past too and now I have a sweet amazing guy and it's so overwhelming.

Talk to him about it. Communication is the key. My boyfriend and I talk about it all the time. I'm learning that no matter what, every guy is different. This guy seems very sweet and in love, so I think you should let loose. Let go of your fears and live a little! Love is a risk but one meant to be taken! I say you should tell him you are insecure. Tell him you get scared. Tell him he is amazing and you can't believe he's here. But keep in mind to be patient. If he's as sweet and loving as you say he is, he will accept you no matter what! Keep your head up. Don't worry. Let go of your past pain and live for today's healing! Hope I helped.

bio

Hi! I'm Selina!

I've been through so much in my life, and these experiences have made me stronger... I love music, sunshine, and videogames.

I'm a pretty friendly, loving person and I'm here for anyone when they need it. I'm honest and I'm always open, so just inbox me!

Happiness is what I aim for.