askkhadiya
advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: 18/f and 20/f

My boyfriend usually knows when I am on my period and knows to stay away from anything sexual during those few days. I'm supposed to be on it right now but I'm running a bit late. When I tried to well...start things with him today he questioned my period. I simply explained that I was a little late but it's no big deal because it's not unusual for me. Well, that didnt help at all and now his is over his head in fear.

I know I'm not--but he won't be satisfied until I get my period. He wants to tell his mother about it and I cant seem to talk to him out of it. I asked him to give it a few days before saying anything but he won't listen.

I dont want his mother to think we're being irresponsible when nothing is certain. If in fact we are pregnant, I will certainly go to both sets of parents with him--but not until then. How can I get him to understand?
This can all be solved with a test. Buy it and take it at a friends house. Make sure you carry a purse so all the evidence can be put in the purse so no one that you dont want know wont know what your doing. If it comes back negative, your in the clear. If it doesnt, them prepare your attack plan.

Q: my very, very best friend just told me she cuts herself and that her mom is abusive. her parents divorced this summer and thats when she started. she lied to me about a big mark on her arm and i knew she was upset so later i asked her if it was her mom again. she and her mom have had tons of fights but i never knew how badly her mom treated her. and i had never guessed about the cutting. i have cut myself but only a few times and i stopped and i still somewhat struggle with self-injuring (i pinch myself occasionally) but im fine now. but her mom through her out of the house for like 45 min she was out in the cold rain. and her mom has hit her with shoes and pulled her hair and yells at her and tells her shes a horrible person. her mom never makes time for her and is always working or with her new boyfriend. my friend hates her moms new bf because he takes all her moms time away. she tries to talk to her mom but she never understands and just yells at her. she goes to church with me and is trying so hard to be a good Christian and her mom knows that so she was telling her she doesnt have God and isnt a Christian and that shes a terrible person and hits her and stuff. she lives with her dad a lot but still her mom just as often but i told her she lives in an abusive place (with her mom) and shes probably going to just stay with her dad.

i know her mom needs help but who should she tell because we're only 14 and i know her mom is abusive and everything but idk what to do about it. i think she should tell her dad tho right? and she sees a physciatrist and told her mom about the cutting but her mom acts like she doesnt care. her mom like has took everything of hers away and one time took all her clothes except a tshirt and shorts and said thats all she got for like a month and stuff like that. can people just please tell me the process of what she needs to do to get away from her mom and get her mom help? and im helping my bff and she said she will call me whenever she wants to cut and shes upset and she only cuts when her mom is screaming at her and they have fought and stuff. please help me this is so important and i love my bff so, so, so much. thank you more than you can imagine

btw i d k if i said this but her parents are divorced and she likes being with her dad and she has a younger brother whos ten but he never gets yelled at really or hit or anything. also she has thought of suicide and once got pills and really wanted too but then thought of her dad and friends and brother so she didnt. Thank God. please help me im scared for my friend. thank you!!
She should tell her dad immediately!! If she doesnt, you tell him. Tell your school consoler, tell your mom, your dad, anyone who will listen! Just tell an adult they will get her help. If you tell your school consuler, they will contact her dad. You can also call the department of human services, ask them who can you speak to about an abusive parent and tell them whats going on, they will handle it!! Do anything you can as soon as possible or your friend can be in worse danger! Even if she says she doesnt want help, she does, shes just scared!

Q: so my boyfriend wants to finger me. and thats fine. but im confused on why everybody says it hurts the first time. i have tried to finger myself before and i have felt nothing. so can you explain what he is going to do?
thanks
Basically, the same thing you did. But ever guy is different, so there maybe different motions.

Q: I'm 16/f
My older sister is almost 20, still living in our parents house, un-employed, and about to quit college. My dad doesn't really say anything about it, but my mom is now heck-bent on me going to a top-notch college, getting a job as soon as possible, and all the things I want to do socially with friends doesn't even matter. I understand that they don't want me to end up like my sister, but I find it unfair. They were never this hard on her, and let her decide. Heck, she didn't even get her drivers license until last year! And now it's gotten to the point where they are catering to her every need and pushing me out into the world without warning. With that said, How do I talk to my parents about this? I want to do all of these things (drive,work,etc.) but at MY own pace.

Thanks,
AngryYoungerSister
They probably feel like they failed with her and they want something better for you. The best thing for you to do is tell them exactly what you told us. Let them know that you want to succeed in life but you want to do it for you, not them.

Q: does anybody know what happened to jesse from saved by the bell? my mom said that there was a episode where they explained what happened to her character. but she cant remember what it was.
thanks for all your help!
To my understanding Jesse was there until graduation. She graduated as salutaterian Screech was valedictorian. She may have missed a couple of epps, but I dont remember her leaving the show.

Q: Ok, so I'm 16/f, I'm quite athletic and I weigh exactly 130. I really want to lose about 5-10 pounds, I don't think I'm fat, I just know I would perform better and feel better if I was lighter. For the past two weeks or so I've been eating about 1200 calories a day and exercising about an hour, and I've calculated it so that I've got about a 1000 calorie deficit a day, so that I'd be losing 2 pounds a week. It worked last week, but I did the same thing this week, and I'm still exactly 130! I've been working really hard and I feel that I should have lost some weight. I also got my period this week, so bsically I'm asking, why do you guys think this happened? What can I do to lose weight, and should I just give up? I don't want to work really really hard again this week and have no results!
Your period brings stress and stress brings weight. keep trying, but dont go overboard though.

Q: 13/F

ok.... so i yesterday i could see it in my friends eyes that she was keeping something from me. So I calmly talked to her about and she told me that her boyfriend (my x'friend) made fun of her two best friends. He said that I was fat and he said that Melonhead was a lesbian and had bad hair. He was already a jerk but I just couldn't take this anymore. I was going to talk to him about it but I cant because Katie promised him she wouldn't tell that he made fun of us. So now, pease dont judge me but i told her that she had to choose... would she rather have a friend or a boyfriend. That sounds rude but I am just offended that my best friend would go out with a creep that makes fun of me. I am sorry that this is so long but please help me.
thank you
Well your not really being a friend because if you were, you wouldnt be making her choose. It has to be her decision not yours. Just stay away from the guy. You can be offended, but you cant be mad at her because she didnt say it, he did. But hell at least she told you and wasnt laughing at you.

Q: i really want to cut my hair, and i cant find a good picture, I want piecy layers, and side bangs, right now my hair is up to about my bra line.
I want something in-between these pics:

http://www.shout.ru/news/ashlee_simpson.jpg

http://www.wallpapergate.com/data/media/415/Ashlee_simpson1.jpg



Thanks:)
Hmm I think I like the first one better than the second.

Q: hiiya! there is this girl that i met in august...we have been friends at school all year and i have started to like her(i kinda want to date her) and im sure she likes me back (friends asked)...the only problem is that i am very outgoing and she is kinda shy soo i feel like i would have to initiate everything...u know like kissing, holding hands...watever and im also afraid that she might be too shy to break up with me if she is unhappy...do you think after we start dating she will get used to it and start initiating things or will i always have to do it? she isnt EFFING shy, but you know...enough to have me worried

ooo also i like to smoke sometimes and she dosent (she said she would if she had access tho, but i think she was just trying to be cool or something) do you think it will be a problem?

...any opinions would help :>...
Maybe she will adjust when she gets comfortable being your girlfriend. She is probably just acting shy because she likes you more than you like her! And if the smoking thing is a problem dont do it around her. But hey, you should kick that habit anyways.

Q: Ok I don't really know how to dance that great, the hip moving kinda stuf but how can I learn?
Watch videos and practice. Thats how I learned. You have to be loose and just let yourself be free. You cant do exactly what they are doing until you know what your body is capable of. You also have to be comfortable with yourself and your body and you have to know how to relax.

Q: would you rather love a loser or lose a lover and why?
Lose a lover because If i love a loser, we would just be in love. Love isnt everything. Love doesnt put food on the table, it doesnt wash clothes, take care of kids, etc. I think you get my idea. Thats just like saying, would you rather love a loser who has nothing going for them self or be alone and and have something going for yourself with nothing worthless to bring you down?

Q: A man who was married lie to me that he is single and said he will marry me and plan to marry me, therefore one night we have intercourse.
Then, due to his personal matters done before, he was jailed for two weeks.
He did lie to me in the very beginning that the case was not a criminal case. In fact it was a criminal case and he was the offender of the case.
When i visit him during his imprisonment, i found that he was married and i met his wife and talk to her for 10 hours, in fact it was his wife helping him to find the victims like me, to "feed" her husband, she provide the account for him to lie that it was his bank account etc..
i loved him so much and he wrote a letter to me that he will marry me immediately if he can be discharged (since the 2 weeks' jail was not a defined time, it depends whether i can get letter of pleading from the person with good social status ). He and his wife both promise me so.
Unexpectedly, after i got five letters of pleading and this guy then discharged from the imprisonment, everything changed , all the promises from the man and his wife gone.
What should i do ? Please help me....
You should drop him. And all of his issues along with it. It was a con to begin with. Lose his number and dont even chase him. I know it may kill you because you love him but its one sided.

Q: 16/f i have very straight hair and it's pretty long. i always wear it long, but i'm thinking about getting it cut short for the warmer months. the problem is that i have a very long neck and long forehead so hairstyles too short make my neck look longer, and ones without bangs make my forehead stand out. but i also have a cowlick that prevents me from getting straight across bangs. any suggestions for hairstyles? thanks
Ever thought about swooping it around in the front? Like part it a little after your cowlick and swoop it. If you get it cut just get it to your shoulders and then you wont have to worry about it being too short. Or too long.

Q: im not sure if i have one.. ive got a gut kinda.. not so much that it rolls over my pants but its still a gut. and i was wondering... whats the best way to get rid of it?
Crunches and sit ups. It will eventually get tight.

Q: I have these bumps on my legs (randomely, I don't think they're shaving bumps). They're kinda pimply...? No whiteheads or anything and if I squeeze it nothing comes out. I don't think they are ingrown hairs either.

They don't hurt/itch or anything, so is this worth going to the dermatologist for? They just kinda bother me because my skin isn't smooth, ya know?

They seem to disappear weekly but I get new ones weekly in different places, regardless whether I shave or not.

Yea that is worth going to the dermatologist. none of us are doctors and one of us will tell you one thing and somebody else will tell you another, the best thing to do is to go let him tell you. But it probably isnt anything dangerous.

Q: Since bikini season is right around the corner i also want to know how to shave down there. Can I use an electric razor or a just the normal ones? And how do i know which way the hair is growing?!...Please tell me all you can about this...THANKS IN ADVANCE!
Her normally grows down. So shave down. And also Its better to shave with a regular one. Sometimes an electric razor will pull the hair and it hurts!!
But make sure that area is nice and clean before you shave. This also prevents hair bumps, or makes it so it isnt so many. Also If the hair is long, get some manicure scissors and cut it low so when you shave it it wont be too much pulling. If a few short hairs remain its fine, because if you keep raking over the skin your pulling up dead skin and that also causes hair bumps.
SORRY it took soooo long for me to right back!!

Q: Well I am going to this clinic hopefully tomorrow and I just want to know wether they will make me pay for a Blood Test or Not. I just need results, also I read up on it and they say that they also do urine tests. I think that will be better than a needle but either way...do you think they will charge me if I take a test even if I do have a Insurance card?
They may charge you a fee from your insurance. A copay. And The blood test is actually better the could posibbily do both, and it takes two weeks to come back. So places do charge for there blood tests but Im not sure of the price.

Q: Mk. Well I'm getting my hips pirced thursday.
I was told that Microdermals are better
then surface pircings .. but if you ever
wanted them out.. you would have to get them
cut out of your skin. I also herd that hip pircings are high in rejection! I'm terrifed of my hips rejecting the pircing. Should I get
a surface of microderaml.. How can I prevent rejection!?


Please answer quick i only have two days to decide!
Thanks alot.
Hip piercing??? WHAT? Finally something I have never heard of...Did you google this?? If you didnt try that out.

Q: Are you insecure about your new relationship about your new boy/girl friend? Do you know if there cheating on you, but they might not or might be?
Im not insecure, but I do worry about cheating. I never let that stop me though, If I cant have hard proof, then I dont let that kind of stuff bring me down.

Q: is it okay if i distract myself from my problems. im unhappy, but im trying to distract my mind, but i feel like im going to end up even more unhappy. but ive been unhappy since a few months ago, so im trying out this method. i figure its at least temporary partial happiness. what do you think about the method? is it worse then letting myself soak in my problems? ive been doing that since my problems started, and theyre not going away. should i continue distracting my mind instead of what i have been doing?


and does this question even make sense? lol
Try to deal with your problems before you distract yourself from them. Because in the end they will still be there. But you know, Everyone deserves to have a couple of happy days.

bio
khadiya
Its A brand new year!! And I havent really been giving advice lately so now IM BACK!! If you have something to ask dont hesitate to ask. DONT BE SHY!! I've been there! Or I know someone who has!


I am a black albino female whose been through alot!!! I have a lot advice to give. Im a very knowledgeable person, and i look at things from many different views. Im very blunt, so if you dont want to hear it straight dont ask me!! any thing else you wanna know get at me!



LET ME REINTRODUCE MYSELF REAL FAST, REAL QUICK!
iM A BLUNT PERSON, IF YOU ASK A GROWN UP QUESTION, IMA GIVE A GROWN UP ANSWER. RECENTLY A GIRL ASKED HOW TO GIVE A BLOWJOB AND I WAS VERY BLUNT AND UPFRONT WITH HER. I GOT SHUNNED FOR MY ACTIONS SO, BASICALLY. IM GOING TO TRY TO AVOID ANSWERING QUESTIONS LIKE THIS. BECAUSE ALL THOUGH THESE KIDS ASKING THESE QUESTIONS ARE YOUNG, THEY OBVIOUSLY BEEN DOING SOMETHING THEY AINT GOT NO BUSINESS DOING BECAUSE THE WOULDNT BE ASKING THOSE TYPES OF QUESTIONS.

Info
Website:
E-mail:
Gender:
Female

Location:
Mississippi!!

Occupation:
Doin what i do!

Age:
20

AIM:
Yahoo:
Member Since:
December 30, 2006

Answers:
705

Last Update:
June 16, 2009

Visitors:
28847

Main Categories:







layout by Adam Particka

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker