Member Since: September 7, 2008
Answers: 55
Last Update: July 13, 2009
Visitors: 2975
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I KNOW THIS MESSAGE IS LONG BUT PLEASE HELP ME :(
Hello i am 19 year old girl, i have a loving family and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years, he is my first ever boyfriend and my first in everything sex wise and relationship wise. ALOT has happened so i'll just tell you the simple version. The relationship started out fine in the beginning and then after about a year he started to get very argumentative and very angry later on that year he broke up with me and told me he slept with another girl and wore a condom BUT didnt cheat on me, and after a month he wanted to get back together, so i did, 3 months after we got back together i dragged out of him that he didnt in fact wear a condom so he lied to me, i undertook the correct precautions when he told me this and thankfully everything was fine with me and him so stayed with him despite the lie, 6 months later i then found out that he lied again when he said that he slept with the girl when we broke up he actually cheated on me, he acted very sorry and said the arguments would stop and things would change so i forgave him again.
Throughout all of this he has gained a very bad relationship with my mother and relatives, when we first got together my mum treated him extemley well but since the cheating he has been cocky and arrogant to my mother, when he was arguing at me again about a month a go, my mum got involved as she didnt like the way he was talking to me and he told her to 'shut her f***ing mouth.'
he refuses to take me out anywhere as he says he cant be bothered.
It has now been 6 months since these lies adn arguments and i feel now has been the final straw. my grandmother was ill and i told him that i could only see him for 3 hours, i told him this as his house he FLIPPED 'What the f*** you didnt tell me how dare you' i then said im leaving and he blocked the door i shouted and went into the living room, he blocked that door he wouldnt let me out i called my mother and he was in the background SHOUTING and SWEARING and he wouldnt let me out, he then said go on get out theres the door f*** off and DIE i went to leave and he blocked the door again saying it was a joke and he loves me. eventually his parents came home and said they would give me a lift home, he said 'its my f***ing car too im coming as well' he was swearing at me saying your a bitch you treat me like s*** you treat me like a dog no wonder you dont have any friends. now he is acting like nothing has happened saying i love you all the time and saying he wants to take me some place special for my birthday and give me my birthday presents.
i know i should leave him but this is all i know since i was 17 and im so scared to leave him, im going to university but i have no friends and scared of never being loved by anyone else and he'll be the only one who'll ever love me :(
please help (link)
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yes not only has he cheated on you but he lied, and hes been a down right messed up guy. NON WAY should you question this. break up with him. break up with him now. I know everyone says not to break up with a boy over the phone or in a note, but in this case i most definitely would. also if you are going to do it on the phone do it at a friends house and dont tell him where you are, he might be a little angry and you will want him to cool down before you confront him. thats all i got to say hun, BREAK UP WITH HIM, YOU DONT DESERVE THAT CRAP HE GIVES YOU.
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how do you ask a guy out without seeming desperate? (link)
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Well that is a really good question. Here is what I would do. DO NOT ask him out in a note, on IM, or in an e-mail. It's immature and it makes you look like you aren't serious about dating. I suppose over the phone would be alright but I think the best choice would be to ask him in person. Also, don't make a second grade mistake. When you ask a guy out do not ask "Will you go out with me?" It just isn't right, you are asking if he will be your boyfriend before you have even gone on a date. Try instead, "Hey ____ got any plans this weekend?" to test the waters then enter in with a "Cool, maybe we could go see ______ together." Or something like that. Also, I know this seems obvious but make sure you actually like the boy, and that you have talked to him before, so he's not thinking "why is this random girl talking to me??" Well good luck and I hope I helped!
xoxo
katwashala
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this is to do with the question i asked earlier about letting my friends ex go down on me (link)
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Well I am sorry, sixteen is waaaaaay to young to have sex. Wait until you are older and have the maturity to decide who you want to lose your virginity to. If this boy doesn't understand your reasoning, he doesn't respect you. You can't be with a boy you who doesn't respect you, and I'm sure you already know that. If he asks why, tell him, you value your relationship way too much to mess it up with sex. Hopefully everything goes smoothly and let me know how it turns out.
xoxo
katwashala
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I'm a married woman. My husband is a great man. He is the only person I can see myself ever having children with. However, I am still in love with my ex-boyfriend. I constantly think about him. I dream about him. I want to see him, smell him, feel his skin against my cheek. This is all crazy because my ex is not a good man. He used to choke me whenever we got into a really bad argument. I was afraid of him...but I loved him. I moved across the country so that I could get away from him and move on with my life. There are many good things about him, but he doesn't possess "husband-like" qualities. My husband is close to perfect in my eyes, but I don't feel the same way about him as I do towards my ex. How do I stop these feelings? Am I crazy for loving a man that is not good for me? (link)
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Okay, so I am only thirteen years old but I know a little about love. You sound like a nice woman, and you don't deserve a man that choked you whenever he got angry. That doesn't sound right. However it seems like you aren't in love with your current husband, maybe he is not the one for you, but I don't think your ex is for you either. I know I am young but kids are smart, we state the obvious which can sometimes be what an adult needs. You deserve the best, don't settle for anything less and don't sell yourself short to someone who doesn't appreciate you. These are my opinions, I wouldn't follow my instructions exactly but I do think you should consider them. I hope I helped.
all my love,
Katwashala
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my best friends ex wants to go down on me and my best friend knows but she dont care cause she is with someone else but the thing is i really have a hard time not getting attached to a guy once we get sexual in anyway so im kinda scared to let him although it feels so good and its hard for me to say no and the only reason we havent done it yet is cause we only talked over the phone about it but he wants to do it next time we see each other im scared that he will think im clingy or psycho or something if i get to close to him you know!! help please!!! (link)
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Woah, um how old are you??
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Hi,
ok so you know how those girls in high school or models or actresses have perfectly clear skin?
how can i achieve that?
also, i have dry skin meaning when i use powder coverup or foundation it usually leaves dry skin
=[[
any ideas? i'd greatly appreciate it. (link)
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Well let me call to your attention that the models and actresses with "prefect skin" don't have perfect skin at all. You only see them on TV or in ads right? well there is such thing as a computer, and computers can do crazy things. Also, girls in high school have had lots of practice and many trial and errors to know what works for them. and talk to your doctor they can give u great acne medication
hope i helped
katwashala
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13 years old.
And im like 5'6 or 5'5.
Im 120 Pounds.
55 kilos.
Is that skinny? or normal. (link)
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Well let me tell you something. I am 13, i am around 5'6/5'5 (creepy huh?) and I weigh 110 lbs. Ask any of my friends, I hate to admit it but I am a stick, I could probably gain 20 lbs and look awesome, so if you are 120, I envy you (plus muscle weighs more than fat, if you are strong you're going to weigh more) don't worry about it.
katwashala
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i have a cold sore. it hurts sooooo bad, and it's made my lip so huge and puffy. and i can't talk, and i can only eat liquids from a straw because i cant open my mouth far enough. i am seriously in tears because it hurts so bad and everyone keeps making fun of me saying i have herpes and stuff, and it really hurts my feelings. but what im more worried about is the pain and puffiness. how do i at least make it stop hurting as much, and if possible can i make it smaller over night. please help me, it hurts so bad. (link)
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Swishing around water with a some salt in it always helps me, make sure you don't swallow the water, and don't put in too much salt. when you do this it might burn a little (its not that bad) but that just means its working. sorry about the cold sore, ouch.
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ok so ive had a crush on this guy and he dosent even no i exist so is there anyway that i can get his attention and get him to ask me out? (link)
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Well, trust me, its pretty easy. The way i started getting my crush to notice me was by commenting on his shoes! Guys think its cute when a girl brings up something random and spazzy. try it out!
~katwashala
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F/15
I've liked this guy for who knows how long((ok maybe not that long...)).Well last year in 8th grade i told him what I felt about him he said that he didnt feel the same way for me.To just be friends but sadly we((I blame myself))left things awkward between us...
We then stopped talking to each other and hardly have said a word to each other since then.((Except for the frist day of high school))
I want to start all over and be friends with him but I still really like him & im scared that if I start being friends with him agian I will just keep liking him more & more.I want to get over him but its just soo hard!And its now more harder because lately I've seen him hang around with this girl who happens to have my name too((which I still find werid cause not many people have my name))
Now she is pretty but a little overweight((not to be mean...))She of course is the exact oppisite of me.She's girly,funny,smart,very social & she's not shy at all.Today,I saw her talking to him after school.I was in the bus when I saw both of them talking to each other.He was laughing,smiling something of him I have'nt seen all summer.While I saw them having a good time I just alomost cried seeing him like that.I thought why can't I make him laugh?Why are'nt I like her?I just started comparing myself to her and how ugly and stupid I was.Then I started blaming my self for saying my feelings to him.
I know I should'nt do that I actually did try to think about positive things about myself but they just did'nt stay there long enough...I just really want to get over him but its just so hard for me since he's the frist guy I ever liked.((Yup he's my frist crush))
All I'm asking is that how can I get over my frist crush?And how can I ignore those negative thoughts about myself whenever I see that other girl with him? (link)
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Yikes. Well my first bit of advice seems kind of goofy but I recommend you try it. Think of an old favorite memory with him, and then one day just be like, "hey ____, you will never believe what happened yesterday, I saw a guy juggle 5 goldfish, just like you did that one day." (PS you don't even have to say something true, just say SOMETHING.) Then he will laugh, you will laugh, and you can start a normal conversation like "So how have you been doing?" or something like that. Next, once you are on a friend basis, you can start demolishing all your old feelings. Start by thinking "We had our run, lets give this new girl a shot" or "Wow, his new guy friend is mega hot!" anything to help you juggle the end of a crush and the beginning of a relationship. If none of this works, I am going to give you some advice I recently received; to get over a guy you are going to
1. cry
2. feel like crap (don't worry its normal"
3. move on, this is only your first crush, there are plenty more fish in the sea
well I hope I have helped out
toodles! ~katwashala
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My boyfriend (19) and I (18) have been dating for almost a year now. He's always been extremely nice to me and loving. He'd tease me sometimes but in a cute way. Over the past month or so I've noticed the teasing increasing a lot and it's getting well...mean. He'll point out my flaws about myself that I hate (my ears, and ankles), make fun of the way I speak at times, and he'll cuss at me alot more. Not like, cuss me out but last night, he called me a bitch and I was absolutely blown away--I couldn't believe it but he said he was joking and he was laughing and joking around about it. He also told me to shut up. After that, I confronted him about it and he claims that nothing has changed about the way he is towards me. But something is clearly different and I'm just wondering if anyone has any idea what. The cussing isn't really that bad, it was just last night that he did that but the teasing goes get very mean. (link)
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Well sister, if you want to know what i would do, heres what: i would get him alone, and tell him how out of line he is. I'd tell him it hurts when he makes those remarks, and its starting to make you rethink your relationship. If the name calling and teasing continues, drop him like a hot potato - there are much nicer fish in the sea.
~katwashala
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i really like this guy that is bi-racial. (black and white)
and i don't know if my family would accept it or not but i'm not sure that i care..
is there anything wrong with a white girl dating a bi-racial boy?
(link)
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god no!! is this even a question?? i thought America was over that, there is nothing wrong with dating him, but if you were even considering not dating him bcuz of his race, i don't think u deserve to be with him.
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SORRY for it being long lol.
Theres this guy, jed, and i really like him, maybe even love him, and i honestly dont know what to do. I am 14, hes 15, and i know im not too young to love. But he lives an hour away. We see each other for a week straight ever year and then we visit each other for a couple of days every month or two and we talk like every night. We hooked up, and i really thought he liked me. I mean he was always like i msis you so much. and i have a fb and he always comments like you are gorgeous.
Last nights his away was im a mess. I said i am too. Hes like mines because of a girl, im like mines because of a guy and i really really thought he was going to say it was because of me. He was like i cant tell you i cant tell you and then hes like fine its a girl named jessie you dont know her. I just like couldnt move i felt numb and just wanted to cry. I do now too, i texted him the whole night and he talked about jessie. she seems like a great girl but...idk. I really thought we would end up together just try at least and this crushed me like im tearing up now. I feel for his pain when i see him i cant stop smiling. He is the first thing i think about int he morning and hes always the last thing i thinka bout before going to bed, haha im always texting this boy. When i hear his voice its heaven. When he touches me its like a shock goes through my body. We like the same things, and i honestly cant stop talking about him. My friends think i should get over him but i dont think its possible i mean ive had boyfirends before but ive never felt anything like this. What can i do? i love him and there isnt one thing wrong with him, hes perfect. Help me! i cant tell him i love him. not now after meagan, it would just be embarrassing being like hows meagan? btw i lvoe you? it just wouldnt work. ugh. helpp! (link)
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yikes. you sound way in over your head. well where do i start. first things first, you have got to tell him how you feel, this hinting and hoping never works with boys, their world is black and white. the only way to untangle this knot is by CALLING him (not texting) and telling him whats on your mind. if he turns you down, so what? you have nothing to lose. the worst that could happen (if he really is the perfect nice boy you've described) is him saying he just wants to be friends, and you are back where you started, and maybe thats the where u need to be. and btw don't listen to your friends, it doesn't sound like your heart has been broken, so follow your heart while its still working. hope i helped
katwashala
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I am a 14 year old male. I just started my first day of high school on September 2nd. Today is September 5th. Schools been relatively good until today. What went wrong is that a bunch of girls wanted to talk to me. Some approached me and I talked to them. The others said hi as I passed and I didn't talk to them. When I talk to or get talked to by girls I get shy & nervous and I stutter and am really slow figuring out what to say. Please help me figure out what to do. Be Yourself doesn't help me, sorry. (link)
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awwwww! shy boys are the cutest! but, i guess if u really don't want to be shy, i can help. you see i'm a girl, and my first advice is not to act to confident, its a major turnoff, and as for thinking of things to say, talk about school! i mean you are already there, start off by saying,
"who do you have for math?" (just make sure shes not in YOUR math class!!)or if school is boring, compliment on the girls shoes, haha i love it when guys notice what im wearing. now if school is boring and you dont want to seem like too much of a fashion boy, try this:
girl: says hi, whats up blah blah
you: well, i was having a pretty boring day until you came up and started talking to me
girl: a form of thanks, ur so sweet, blah blah
you: ya, so are you in any clubs/sports?
then she will go on and on about her club/sport and you are off the hook!
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Ok, So I've been crushing on this boy for about a year now. We got pretty close as friends, and he's very religous and all cus he's dads a preacher. But I'm not really that religious, i dont care what religon anyone is, that's their choice. But to the point; I finally asked him out this one tuesday, he told me that he'd get back to me and such, so i waited. Then he finally tells me no that friday. The next Tuesday that he's moving away. Later I asked him if he would if he didn't have to move away, and he said probably yes. He keeps acting like he likes me and when i ask for a hug he'll give me one. He's extremely kind and I can't help but want to hang around with him as much as possible; which I do. I don't know what to do, I keep falling more and more in love with him. I think I should tell him, but I'm really not sure at all...and I really really really want to go out with him, so I don't know if I should push that issue...I mean, if I did he might say yes. And he's only moving a hour away from my place, but...I can't drive for about 3 more years. And he's only a month and two days older then me..so he's in the same boat. But I'd get to see him 1 time each year till then...idk what to do...I really want to be his girlfriend and I don't want to lose him because he's became my entire world..I'm so lost and confused..please help, I'm running out of time...I have 2 more months with him.... ='[ (link)
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wow, are we the same person? ive been crushing hard for a boy for a year now too, i know he likes me, its pretty obvious (however dating is out of the question, he cant date till hes 16) we talk all the time on IM, and as much as we can at school, hes moving away at the end of the year. hes totally got me hooked, i cant stop thinking about him, and i can hardly breathe when hes around. my advice to you (and i guess me too), is i can see you are only 13 (me too, it totally stinks) chances are, there will be other boys. and dont say i dont understand, i do. i dont want to believe that our relationship will die, but thats the cold hard truth, u cant do anything about it, savor your time with him (thats what ill be doing) and then we will have to move on. it sucks, i know.
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