dulce8nina's advice column

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Q: On my myspace,there is this thing that goes right through the middle, like a home search music etc bar and i dont know how to get it off??
heres my myspace if you want to see what im talking about
www.myspace.com/iloveyoutooxo

[you might have to add me]
thanks

hey i added you on myspace but im had this same thing on my page. ok well look at the section that its in eigther"about me" "who id like 2 meet"etc. go to "edit profile"and look at the section and there will be a code that you did not put in.simply erase it and change your password otherwise it keeps coming back!
let me know if it works by da way im[[DULCE NiNA]]=]

Q: Long thing cut in half. I'm 14/f and I'm bi and I'm not out of the closet and I'm not planning to come out of the closet anytime soon. I have a lot of gay/bi friends and I love them to death and I don't mind. They're out and they're carefree and don't give crap about what others say. But all good things have the iffy side. Some of my friends are homophobes, my family is a huge homophobe, and the school..80% is homophobic. It's really hard to get along with people now that I'm in high school. Some people tend to tease me because I have so many nonstraight friends. One time a group of guys that make fun of me and my bff--who is gay--on the bus rammed me with their shoulders on purpose because I was friends with gay guys. Some people won't even talk to me. And it's really getting hard to keep up this little image where I look perfectly find and don't mind as long as I have my friends. I don't know what to do about that.

And also, one of my gay friends always goes "You're the only straight person in our group. We need to turn you bi" And I don't know what I'm suppose to say. I just laugh it off. But I'm already bi and I can't risk telling them because I feel intiminated and they're really gossip-y so heh no way. Some people ask if I'm bi also because I have so many gay/bi friends. ANd I don't want to say no but I have to or else it gets iffier.

So my questions are: what do I do with the school people situation and what do I say with the "be bi"/"Are you bi" statements said to me?

ok well i know you obiously arent ready to tell people and its okay. But anywho i think you should let it out soon because.I think you should stand up for what yourself. Yes many people laugh at gay people but there is always gonna be your true friends who are gonna accept you no matter what gender/s you are attracted to.
Just fu** what ppl say if they dont like it and talk smack screw dem but you cant hide your true self from people all the time.
If you are juss gettin ready 2 tell people about you being bi and are a little concerned about what people may say well i think you should just ignore the question or say "so what if i was??does it bother you??" or something like that.
That leaves things a little clearer yet confusing and people can think whatever out of it and they will stop askin you trust me.
well hope all goes good=]
take carezzz....

Q: 15/m

okay i was goin out with this girl and while we were goin out i started tliek her best friend then me and the girl broke up... and i still talk to her bst friend and i really like her, every morning she texts me and we talk every day all day and i really really really really like her... and she called me her lil bro and i called her my big sis and then i just opened myself up to her tonight and we were both crying and she said she doesnt know ho she feels and that she was speechless, and n like after 20 mins of this and telighe r how i felt she said she had to go.. like what does this mean does she like me? and how can i get her to be mine? any fuer questions on this please ask i really need hp, thanks

Well maybe she does like you but she dosent want to hurt her best friend. Give her time and let her talk it out with your ex. Trust me she likes you because a girl would not cry for a guy telling her he likes her if she dosent like him back!
give her and yourself time to let your last relationship stay behind.
good luck!

Q: Ok, so I have about the worst luck with guys! It seems as though that none of the guys I like ever like me back. But I'm never happy unless I have a crush on someone. But when I do like someone, I'm really unhappy because it seems as though they just don't like me. Basically, I like a guy, get upset because I can't have him then start to like someone else too distract me from the other person, then end up liking the 2nd person completely. So my question is: How do I just not like a guy? How do I stop liking someone without liking someone else?

Well that is probably not really liking somebody. You cant change feelings for someone that fast and i think you should think about this for a sec. I know it sometimes seems like the person you like is unreachable to you but trust me there will be somebody out there! You just cant go on moving on from guy 2 guy just to see who likes you 2. well there is no way to not like somebody because its all in you.tell yourself what it is that you really want and then youll see who it is that you really have feelings for.
just chill and wait it out.
goodluck!

Q: 15/f.

I like this boy, we'll call him.. Ed. Okay, well Ed was dating this girl just recently, well I was on a bus coming home from a friends and I was thinkg about him. Thinking whether I should give up or not, I get home to see him online and it just says his name without the -love ya tamra. They broke up.

Well my uncle is dying from cancer :( and well he seen it in my msn name.. (please god save him ; uncle dave:((yn)(L)) and he put as his p/m.. hope your uncle gets better sara. No one else did this or anything about it. We flirt constantly and we have a class together at school.

He's like 6 months younger then me but I dont care anymore, we're in the same grade and stuff anyways. Well he told me that since his relationships only last to be about 2 weeks or so that he's done with dating.

How can I tell him I like him and that I'd commit to him and not leave him in the space of 2 weeks? What would I do if he just said thanks and then like stopped talking to me? I really like this guy and have for a while.. since second sem. of grade nine.. its not almost second sem. of grade ten.

Thanks in advance and any advice is apprectiated:]

ok well i think its really sweet dat he cares because i mean think of it maybe he likes you back.Mybe he told you he was thinkin of giving up on relationships because he dosent really know you feel this for him.
I Don`t think you should wait any longer!Talk to him about how you feel. Even through the simplest letter,If you dont think you are able to say it. Also your friends can tell him for you[[dat always works with me]].
Its hard for him to actually believe that you wont leave him in 2 weeks but you should try and win him slowly.Let him confide in you as friends if it is nessecary.afterall if you like this guy no matter when you get with him it will b worth the wait;]
good luck and hope ya be together soon!

Q: So a few weeks ago I broke up with this guy, (he asked another girl while we were sill dating). I stil liked him when we broke up but I felt there was no other way to deal with it.
Well about a few weeks later one my friends (and his best friend) "blog" her comment said "what do you do when your best friend likes you and TWO of your friends like him?"
I was so sure that one of the friends was me so I rushed over to her and asked her who the other girl was. . . . . . . . .
She told me it was a long time ago but that my "best friend" was the other girl. I was so furious at my best friend. She didnt even tell me. But now my ex lieks her and I dont want them to go out. I still have a little bit of feeling for him. WHAT AM I SUPOSE TO DO??

girl im dealing with the same thing right now!
well almost listen up.
my x wich i still kind of have feelings for likes my closest friend and they have been kissing and all this other things.well it really buggs me when she tells me all about it.i was crying for like days but girl listen 2 me!...i noticed that da best thing to do is just let them be! I know it hurts and all but think of it this way it wont last forever! also think of the possibility that maybe you are over him and the reason you dont want them to go out is because your scared he will like her more then he liked you...i know this is my problem. but yeah i think you should let it be and find yourself a new guy that isint gonna be doing that kind of stuff and let her keep da mest up guy!
well hope dat made sence lol
take care

Q: okay, well one of my best friends whom i love a lot!!! ,is really TOO into her boyfriend, like i love her to death but i want to find a way to let her know that she is way to clingy. because, well im really close with her boyfriend to, and ive known him longer and hes also one of my best friends and hes told me that he is gonna break up with her over this clingy issue, and i dont want them to break up because they are a really cute couple and i know that they live each other.. and well, is there a way to tell her to stop without having to tell her what HE said, because since im also friends with him i cant go tell her because that would make him mad at me.. etc, so im in a tough situation.. HELP!!!

Ok well i think that if you concider her your friend you should tell her because if she finds out through any other way she wont forgive you. I had the same problem with my friend but instead her boyfriend was cheating on her. I was not gonna tell her cuz i was afraid she would get hurt but i decided to tell her because then it was gonna hurt her more. Talk to your friend calmly and tell her that she should change her ways because she is kind of making the guy uncomftrable. Tell her what he told you but tell her that he trusted you but you love them both and dont want to see them apart. Maybe she wont tell him you told but if he does get mad at you think of it as at least you saved their relationship...Thats all you can do..hope it all goes good=D

Q: My ex & I speak once in awhile. I'll be great for a few weeks, getting over him and not contacting him, but then he'll call me out of nowhere. We'll catch up, laugh about our memories together, and he slips in a few i miss yous. Then, he won't call for another few weeks. He hurt me badly but hearing his voice feels amazing. What am I supposed to do? The minute I feel like I'm moving on, it's like subconciously he knows and brings me right back to where I started. Do I tell him how I feel or will that sound pathetic? I feel like saying I want it all or nothing at all, but I don't want to lose him completely.

This is were you take a chance. I know dat right now you think you need him because a part of you still likes him but think of what is best for you. Think if by talking to him you are only hurting yourself. Try telling him that you cant get the idea of just talkin to him for some time because you are trying to forget about him but cant or something. Trust me you wont sound pathetic and if he thinks you do well fu** him.
Girl if he tells you he misses you he probably still likes you&may-b just may-b its time to forgive him for hurting you so bad.Im not telling you to forget about it[none of dat] im just telling you to speak up for wat you feel before its too late!
i hope all goes well...=]

Q: 16/m
I'm so sick of being alive. Everything is so hard. I can't stand it. It's like I'm doing something wrong. I have few friends, but it doesn't matter because I don't like them. I don't like any one. People don't meet my standards and they never will. And when it comes to girls I have no idea what I'm doing. It's like there's some secret technique that every one but me seems to understand. My problems with girls contribute the most to my loneliness and depression. I'm unmotivated in school, because I care more about trying to find a place I belong, trying to find some one who understands me. I can hardly sleep because I'm always worrying about all this. I'm scared I'll never have friends. I'm scared I'll never have a good job. I'm scared I'll never have my first kiss or have sex, and if I do it will be with some one I don't want to do it with. Somewhere between now and the next few years I 100% sure I'll be dead. I can't take it anymore. I've been to therapy and they even locked me up like a criminal in a mental health ward, but to no avail. I hate life. I hate myself. I hate every one, especially if they're happy. I don't see things ever getting better. Please help me. And don't post anything about God, Jesus, or religion of any kind, it will be an automatic 1 on your rating.

wow well i know this will probably get you a little angry or so but letmme tell you you have it all so EASY you dont even know! Your problem is that YOU are putting yourself down,YOU are telling yourself that you cant do all of these things when you have the guts to do every single thing you wrote on here saying you cant do.There is no need to envy those that are happy,instead you should think about things those people do and try them for yourself maybe they turn out for the best for you as well.
About having friends im sorry hunny to tell you but if you cant appreciate what you got now how are people gonna try to be nice to you or even commit a little with you.Believe it or not a girl wants to be with a guy who is willing to be there for her,care for her,be nice to her,and a guy who is gonna be full of life enough to make a good boyfriend and soon to be husband.
Look im nobody to be lecturing you and that is mozdef not what im trying to do. Ive as well thought there was no point in life anymore and wanted to give up on it all but i realized that is not the way to go.I know wut its like to feel unwanted and to not fit in anywhere.I know what its like to wish i was gone forever.I know what its like to think that nobody would ever like me for me and think that i would never find "my one".My self esteem was low as hell.I was so close to suicide but i looked in my mind and what was left in my heart and i said to myself that nobody was making me feel this way.N0B0DY but me. 0nce you notice this you find life.trust me.Im a very happy person now&if you hate me because of this im sorry.im not gonna tell you to have faith in god because hey who really knows if there is a god out there than can help.you said that if we post something on here about god it will be an automatic 1...go ahead..but please please take all i said in consideration.i know the last thing you need is somebody bitching at you but it just seemed to me you really needed to hear these things.
i wish you the best of luck out in this world!
take care

Q: 15/F

I had a long talk with a few of my friends about why so many people don't like me. I was confused because I really love myself and have a lot going for me.

We realized that I am too intimidating. People are worried about how I have control over myself and their lives or they think I am too good for them. I can see this as being true but I do not like it.

How do I become less intimidating? I am always going to be myself, but is there anything I can do other than just be nicer/compliment people?

if you like yourself the way you are never change for anybody! you have FRIENDS who love you and while you have that dont care if any of the other people like you or not because they are not gonna be the ones there for you when you need them.
although you can always get involved. join groups at school with different people,also when you see some kids whom uve never talked to say hi and smile.a smile always changes peoples aspects.this way people will start thinkin of you as a more friendly person and will probably even start telling others about how nice and cool you actually are.
hope all goes well

Q: well i find myself LOVING this guy. his name is eric and he is so perfect for me. my friends say he likes me too cuz they always see him looking at me. one night on aim he told me i was pretty and i was so close to asking him out when all of a sudden something pulled me back. luckily for me that this happend becuz the next day at skool i found out he had a gf!! my friends say he is just doing this to make me jealous but i dont know. is it wrong for me to still like him even though he has a gf. should i ask him out later? like when he or she dumps eachother??

it is not wrong for you to love him even tho he has a girlfriend because we are nobody to tell our hearts what to feel.i dont know if hes trynna make you jelous or not but chill he will break up with his girlfriend soon and maybe ull have a chance. If i were you i would probably have my friends ask if he really really likes his girlfriend and if he says no well there you go maybe he is tryin 2 get to you,but ull never know unless you ask.about asking him out i wouldnt know because i dont have the guts to ask nobody out haha!dats your choice right there...
goodluck!

Q: okay, my mom has been ragging on me alot lately. everything i do sets her off. i mean, i miss one paper in school and it's like the sky is falling. supposedly i have a smart mouth and i admit sometimes i do but not all the time, like she thinks i do. i'm seriously thinking about running away. what should i do?

well i can see how sometimes you can feel like giving up on everything and running away from it all but i dont think you should. there will always be hard times in life and you have to learn how to face them.it may seem pretty simple when ppl say to talk to your mom about the way you feel but i know its not.anywho you need to talk to her.when i feel my parents are being too mean or something i always l00se my temper and scream at them by saying how much i hate it when they treat me like they do,i run up to my room and stay.in a while they start noticing what they have done wrong and do their best to change it. i know my way isint the best way but it works for me.try coming up with a way of making her understand how you are feeling and im sure she will come to her sences because after all they are parents and care for us. just please dont run away!there iz a big and dangerous world out there and trust me your mom is safer than out there...promise!=]

Q: I'm very confused abt my love life. When i'm with a guy it's not for a very long time, though that might be because i've been on so many blind dates and i don't like any of the guys i've been with. But that's the problem, im wondering y i dont juss pick a guy and go out with him. Is it beause im a teen and still looking for more possibilities? or because im not really looking for a relationship at the moment but will be later on as i grow older?? Im so confused...what should i do??...

wow diz happens 2 me 2!
well in my case i go with people but the relationships never work out. eigther its them or its me but i can never stop thinkin about the possibility of "the one" coming into my life. think about all that happens 2 you and go from there. take this in mind that if you dont like none of the guys you are dating dont go wit them because ull only hurt him and urself. just chill...wait for ur one because there is always a reason for everything and maybe the reason for u not falling for nobody iz because real soon a great guy that yooh are gonna like alot is gonna walk in your life and ull b single just 4 him;]
well i dont know if this helps at all but yeah keep it in mind.
good luck!

Q: 15/f

Okay i met this guy(d) and he seemed nice and i met his friend(w)and i like his friend but i don't know if w likes me but i know d likes me and i made out with him but i think that was a mistake even though i liked it but i like w and it's all like urgh but know d is acting like nothing happened but i want him and don't want him to act like that i mean the least he could do is hug or something but he doesn't and i'm so confused because i don't know who to like i mean i think i like w but then that kiss made me think i like d but i'm soo confused and i seriously don't know what to do so plase help!

okay just putting it out there but maybe you don`t like none of them!i mean seriously if you liked one of them for sure you wouldnt have to look and pick...the only thing i have to say is look in your mind&heart and check who you could see yourself with& 4 wh0`z feelings are stronger
i know its struggling and it sucks to have to let one go when you think you like both but its just something that you have to learn how to work out without hurting them...GOOD LUCK!=]

Q: like a guy but then make out with his close friend and then have feelings for his friend and still him?

i mean i don't know who to like it's so confusing!

no your not supposed to but check in your mind&heart 4 who`s feelings are stronger and go from there but you can`t mess with both of them like that!=}

Q: So I've been going out with this guy for a little over than a month. We're almost sixteen, and i really like him. To give you some background info about him, hes so shy, it took a month for him to just hold my hand or give me a hug. (ya i know. and no, hes not gay haha) Anyway, Im having this birthday party in a couple of weeks, and when i asked him if he was busy on a certain date, he was like "ya, im going to my grandmothers" so then i was like alright, ill just change it around, to friday. then he was like "well its ok, its not that important if i dont go" and altho im not sure how to interpret that, it hurt my feelings. i assume he meant that he didnt want me to change the whole party just for him, but i dont know. i mean i really want him to be there, doesnt he feel the same? also, he doesnt really call me, but we do hang out sometimes. And one other thing, he has never dumped a girl. He once stayed with a girl for like 6 months, but didnt like her the last 3 months, because he didnt kno how to dump her/is scared of "a girl starting to cry". whatever that is.

So basically, do u think he still likes me? And what should i do? Im really worried he wouldnt dump me if he stopped liking me. And I dont want to dump him, cause I still like him. Ugh, tell me what this silly boy is thinking!

okay i was in a similar situation.like my boyfriend was really sweet at first but then he started ignoring me kind of and stopped calling me.he also told me he didint dump girls but he made them dump him.i wasent so sure if he wanted me to dump him so i talked to him.i asked him if he felt something for me and he said yeah but i just dont know wut i want right now. so i decided to keep it as friends[even tho i totally regret doing that because i love him].
anyways i think you should talk to him like i did. let him know you have strong feelings for him and would want to have him at your special day. ask him if he has those feelings for you or he is just with you because he dont know how to dump you...basically just talk to him and straighten things up=]good luck!

Q: i have no clue why these types of questions are so common, but here it goes:

there`s this kid at my school who is like...16 (i`m 14) and i really like him. he`s got black, "emo" hair, a lip ring, and is just so damn hot. i hear a lot of my friends say that he`s an ass, but why guy isn`t? all my friends say that they could see me with him, and that he`s probably better than my current boyfriend (i doubt it). My bf and i are "taking a break", and i recently found out that he slept with another girl. Now when he said we needed a break (due to my mother), i thought you know, not seeing each other and taking time for ourselves. i did`t think he meant we could hook up with other people. I had plenty of chances to, but i didn`t. I just made-out with some boy down the street. I really like the guy that`s in my class (on certain days) but i`m afraid to talk to him and that i`ll get rejected. i`ve really never been rejected by a guy, because i`ve never asked one out or anything. Ok...maybe once or twice...but i didn`t mind being rejected then. Now i do. The thing is, he`s the same zodiac sign as my boyfriend (which is good) and we have somewhat of the same interests (i won`t say what they are ;]). I`m just dealthy afraid that if we do hook up, he`d talk smack about me later. what to do, what to do? what do you guys think?

okay well i think you should occassionaly start talking to him. try to find out if you would get along as friends first. If this happens then ya would make a good couple. anywho dont hate me for saying this but dont compare him to your old bpyfriend that much b-cuz it would not be good if he turned out the same dont you think?
well about getting rejected...if it happens dont trip,remember its HIS loss NOT urs there will be someone out there someday who would make you the happiest girl ever and this guy would be hating himself for not going wit you!=]
Good luck&ill be wishing ya go together!=D

Q: Hello. I am 14. I need help, because I just started a relationship with this kid that I really liked last weekend, and I am really confused. We've been going out for a week and a half now..and I really like him. The thing is, I liked to be single. But I don't wnat to break his heart..or mine...and I don't wnat anything to be different between us either. I just liked being single. What should I do?

Sincerely,
Boy Troubles

UU qiRL DATZ DA SAME SHiT WiT ME!!!
FA`SERi0 iZ LiKE i LiKE BEiN SiNqLE N BEiN ABLE 2 FLiRT WiT ERRY CUTE qUY HAHA
BUT if I was you i would probably like break up with him because it is not fair 4 him nor 4 you.maybe friends with benefits would be good or tell him NO COMMITMENT you know=]
qirl you needa lettme know wut happens!!hah

Q: Hi!Well.....I saw my crush today at school because i bumed into him but thats not the point.Anyway,he just looked at me 4 3 seconds then he ran to his next class.So,how can you tell if your crush likes you?Thanx for your advice if you give it to me.

DiD HE SEEM LiKE NERV0US? B-CUZ Y00H HAVE T0 PAY ATTENTi0N T0 H0W THE qUY L00KS AT YO0H AND iF HE qETS ALL JUMPY AR0UND Y00H 0R iF HE SEEMS LiKE HE D0N`T CARE...DAT`Z H0W i CAN TELL 0R JUST TAKE DA EASY WAY.....ASK!...iF YOUR SHY DEN MAYB YOUR FRiEND CAN ASK 0R S0METHiNq q00D LUCK WiTH DA qUY!=]

Q:
15/f freshman

Okay so ihave a larger chest than most girls my age. (i'm a 32 C)Its not that i hate my boobs or that they make me feel insecure though.It just bothers me when people say something about them or stare... My problem is that everyone stares at them! Just today i was in studyhall and an upper classmen asked me how old i was. I told him that he was 15 and he looked super shocked! Then he told my friend tommy that i had huge boobs! Even my boyfriend has said something about them before! Its not as if i try to show them off or anything like that. I honestly don't see why they're so great!

So my question is...... how do i get people(guys) to stop staring at my chest?

(and dont say tutrlenecks or something dumb like that!)

Thanx in advanced!

WELL DiZ WON`T HELP BUT i THiNK Y00H CAN`T D0 ANYTHiNq AB0UT GUYS STARiNq AT UR B00BS i MEAN GUYS R GUYS AND N0THiNq Y00H D0 WiLL ST0P THEM FR0M L00KiNq YADAMEAN!!
ALTH0UqH MAY-B iF Y00H WEAR L00SER SHiRTS 0R S0METHiNq THEY W0N`T SH0W AS MUCH=]
q00D LUCK WiTH LiFE L0L J.K. BUT YEH q00D LUCK!

bio

Wats up?! my name is laura people call me lauris or dee nee wich is short for dulce nina:]
i stay at south central & i can be hella ghetto but ima keep it good for this.
im usually pretty good at listening to peoples problems & i dont know exactly what to say at times or i may not say much at times but when i do it really means alot so feel free to drop me a question if youd like & i promise ill get back:]
if yew wish add me on my yahoo-->dulce_niina
or my myspace just search for abelsandoval@sbcglobal.net