askbigdogdaddy
advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: I would like to know why men have such crazy sexual fantasies. I mean i can understand some but lately i have been talking to my boyfriend and some of his friends about it (awkward) and things they said they'd like to do were either pretty extreme or just really weird and out there. I mean i understand it to a point but why are men so into the role playing? Is it for more excitement or do they think it's normal? haha I'd just like to hear some other peoples point of veiws on this. Thanks :)
rule 1: men are visual creatures. we see it in our mind's eye and if it appeals to us, then generally we tend to act on it.

rule 2: women are visual and mental and question the actions/motives of their male counterparts...they want to know the reasons behind such an action and often will ask, "why do you like this or that?"

bottom line: make sure you are comfortable with whatever idea your partner has in mind, that it is not degrading or something you will regret or just laugh about in a month...

be honest with each other...

Q: is it legal to put a paper advertisment for your business in someones mailbox? im starting a lawn care business and want to put flyers in some mail boxes..is that legal? i live in pennsylvania.
i dont know the law in penn, i would reccomened puitting an ad in the paper instead, while it's still legal....

Q: 17/f, boyfriend 18/m.

So me and this boy started dating in June. We had met in late may at a friends party. Thing is, he and I both knew he was moving at the end of August. Why did I even get myself into this? I have no clue :/. I lost my virginity to him because I was stupid and thought it didn't make a difference who I lost it too. The relationship now has grown a wee bit stale due to multiple factors like-
1)he can't get over his exes.
2)He's so distant from me always, we don't even hold hands in public.
3)He's leaving, obviously a big factor.

I just don't know what to do right now, I keep on asking myself WHY I'm with him? He's my first real relationship. My friend told me he doesn't believe in love at this age, which makes me feel like I'm being used (and yes, used in THAT way.)

I'm trying to think of things as "casual" - should I stop thinking that way?

He's leaving soon, and I really just don't know what to do with myself, I feel depressed and horrible about myself, like I'm worthless and only good for being used.

On the whole other side, we're really good friends in general.I've become friends with all of his friends, they're awesome people and I don't want to loose them! I'm actually interested in his brother, who knows more about relationships than he does. Would it be wrong to go for him after I've dated his brother? He is leaving, anyway..

I know this is confusing, I'm so upset that I don't know what to do anymore. Even other people see that he doesn't treat me right. Should I break up with him now, or just wait it out until he's officially leaving? ANY advice on ANY questions I've asked would help so much, thank you!
in a nut shell;
it's better to be healthy and alone then stay sick with someone else.....in other words...if he does not treat you as you expect to be treated, run and dont look back...

granted, this sounds easier said then done of course, and i know it hurts, but no one has the right to treat someone badly or abusively...

let him go and find what you truly deserve....

Q: 14 f

I will try to make this quick, because I don't want to take to much of your guy's time. Now I've been miserable for a while now, because of what people are saying about my boyfriend. I've been dating my boyfriend sense July, 5, 2010
what did he say? have you two sat down and talked it over?

a relationship does taske a certain ammount of trust, however in small doses is best at first. Since you two have been together for some time, and this is not a fling or summer romance, i assume you two have been open and honest with each other from day one..with that said, you two need to sit down and talk this over...

the second thing to consider, is where these sources are coming from...meaning, are they friends who care about you, know you, etc, or just loose lips trying to destory what you two have out of spite or jealousy?

Q: i'm going to be a freshman in college this fall. but i'm undecided and now i'm thinking about being a film/TV major and plan on transferring for my sophomore year.
i have no film experience whatsoever, but it's something i'm really interested in. so i was wondering if anyone knew of schools, anywhere in the US (but preferrably california or the northeast), where i can apply as a transfer film student without experience.
thank you so so so so so much if you answer!!
u.c.l.a.

Q: im afraid to ask my love ones if im depressed... but i guess i am becuase well three years ago my mom died when i was 13...and i feel sad all the time and i miss her badly...my dad remarried four months after my mom died and omg! she is the worst step mother ever! she always trying to muniputlate me its terrible but i guess i learned to live with it...but shes not the problem i think...the last days of school my friends got mad at me becuase i couldnt go hang out with them one day so they treated me badly on the last days of school and now i feel alone and hurt...all summer i was dredding to go back to school becuase i think i would have to make new friends so my step mother was giving me a hard time about it and my dad is planning to divorce her after i graduate so that helps...but now i dont want to deal with anything anymore...at these times i wish my mom was here to comfort me and give me advice...so i have been missing her terribly and pretty sad about it all summer and now i dont wanna deal with highschool anymore and i feel like the only way out of all this is dieing...but i dont have the guts to do it thank god!but is all these things signs of depression? im 16 and a girl so maybe its emotional problems...but im pretty stressed out about all this..
do you have trouble sleeping?
do you notice a change in your eating habbits?
have you lost interest in things you once were passionate about?
do you perfer dark rooms to light ones?

if you think you are depressed, chances are you are depressed and need to get help of some kind. Tell a pastor, tell your best friend and they can tell their parents and in turn they will appropach your parents...

you are not alone, and dying is not an option here; ever.

keep a diary, a journal of your feelings, thoughts and fears...

Q: we already know kids / teens of all ages are having sex. but how do you know youre physically, emotionally, and mentally ready to have sex?
good question and the bottom line is, even adults struggle with this one. the problem for teens and younger people is that they do not have the metal billity to see the forrest for the trees; they see a night of passion, the tinkling of glasses of wine and the candels, but do not think of after math, nine months later...

physically at age twelve you are physically able to reproduce. so that is least of the problems.

mentally, that is the grey area where everyone gets hung up. You think you can be a parent but could you really? the financial responsibilites alone can wreck your dreams of being dad or mom of the year.

emotionally: do you know the old saying, anybody can be a father but it takes a man to be a dad? Are you ready to be that man?


Q: how do ppl form things like foot fetishes? i mean, can anything turn into a fetish? but if so, how come foot fetishes are so "common" as opposed to ear fetishes or something?
hmm...fetishes are as varied as people. it is only because 'foot freaks' are most well known, but there are a million of them. Some fetishes are based on articles of clothing; for example a veil, a shoe style or even hair clips....for some it is a physical fetish, an ear,a foot, a navel...it all depends on the individuals tastes and desires...it is normal and not to be worried about, but if it makes you feel uncomfortable or cause pain, run...you may have one or two and not even know it...the best thing to do is talk with the person who has the fetish, ask questrions but DO NOT MOCK OR MAKE FUN OF THE PERSON because a fetish is a very personal thing...

Q: hi, i am 18 years old and have just found out i am pregnant. My boyfriend is 20 years old, we have been together for a year and he is being incredibly supportive. I am meant to go to university in october but i do not know my options in regard to this? If i keep my baby i still want to go to uni but how? i know i can defer a year but after that what are my options? if i start in september i would be due in feb/march so would i be able to take lectures from home etc after christmas and then start my second year proprely? if anyone has any information or knows anywhere i could get this information from i would be so grateful as it may determine me keeping the baby or not. Thanks.
your best choice is on line school, for now. then, after things calm down you can attend the school of your choice...you need to get with a college copunslor and ask about babysitting, on line options and any ideas they may have....good luck.

Q: what does this mean...if she looks like a duck, talks like a duck, walks like a duck, then she must be a duck. someone in my family said that about my gf and i have no idea what it means.
it is a nice way to warn you to be careful...apparently, there is something aboujt this girl that every one sees but you, which often happens...it may be something in her past, it may be the way she comes across i.e., presents herself, or it could simply be a comment she made that rubbed someone the wrong way...if it is the last one, a slip of the lip, then let it go; they will judge her by the way she treats you when you are together; is she rude? does she cuss? does she cut you off or anyoine else, in mid-sentence? does the conversation have to revolve around her and leave you and everyone else out? It is hard to see the small things when you love someone, so do not blow up and be mad, just start to look for little things that seem to upset or out right anger your family about her...worse comes to worse, ask them what it is they do not care for about her....

Q: ok so like this girl and she most likely likes me too and i think we could have a pretty good relationship but anyways we are only 15 and she has a baby do you think this would be a problem in the relationship
sadly, yes. I am guessing the baby is not your's? if it is then that is whole other matter...but from what you are saying here, it is not your baby...

At fifteen it is not a wsie move on either of your parts. You can be there with her, take care of her but are you sure you really want the tremendous responsibilities? like what, you ask?

income for starters...will she live with you at your parents or will she stay with her folks and you come visit? What if the baby(heaven forbid) needs medical attention? who will cover that?

secondly, the emotional level is a lot to deal with as well. It is not something you get into and just walk away from when it no longer is working for either of you...

lastly, what do the parents say?

bio
bigdogdaddy
i majored in psychology for several years so am pretty good with human nature, relationships, etc and i love to help people. Sometimes it just clicks when an answer is given, maybe worded a different way and u figure it out...drop me a question, leave a note, i'd like to hear from you...take care, and thank you for asking.

Info
Gender:
Male

Location:
florida

Occupation:
secuirty

Age:
40

Member Since:
July 31, 2010

Answers:
51

Last Update:
September 13, 2010

Visitors:
4879

Main Categories:







layout by Adam Particka

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
humorist-workshop
eXTReMe Tracker