I'm Abby, a 21-year-old college student with way too much time on her hands, thus resulting in my participation in sites like this. I'm currently a sophomore, and double majoring in Creative Writing and Psychology. My career goals are to make a living as a writer, and to work at Disney World. I have many random hobbies, such as reading, writing, listening to music, playing video games, watching anime, etc. I'm a huge nerd. I'm a tomboy, weird, and opinionated. I think that's about it.
As for this column, obviously it exists for me to give advice. I'm not the most qualified person in the world--I'll be the first person to admit that I've lived a rather sheltered life, and I'm not much of an expert on anything. (I'm one of those people who's read about everything, but hasn't actually experienced a damn thing.) But I like to think I've picked up at least a little bit of wisdom from the experiences I HAVE had, plus some knowledge from my endless curiosity. So if I can share that with somebody and help them out, then awesome, right?
Gender: Female
Location: Macon, Georgia
Member Since: December 30, 2006
Answers: 66
Last Update: January 7, 2010
Visitors: 5827
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I had sex with my partner last november,we used a condom and im on the pill,but now im 2 months late for my period.Im normaly regular and the condom had split,i was wondering if u could help me. Thank you (link)
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The only advice I can really give you is to get a pregnancy test and find out if you're pregnant. It can still happen, even if you're on the pill--my best friend's mom was on the pill when she got pregnant with BOTH her daughters. From that point, if you do turn out to be pregnant, what you do and how you handle it is up to you. I hope everything turns out well for you.
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I'm lesbian. My girlfriend was fingering me and she tore my hymen. Does that mean that I'm not a virgin anymore? I'm 15 and I've never had sex with a guy...
I'm clueless!
Please help. (link)
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When it comes to things like this, it's all a matter of opinion. By the strictest definition of virginity, you are one, because you've never had a penis enter your vagina. But there are people who would definitely say you're not. It's basically up to you to decide whether or not you consider yourself a virgin.
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me and my bf have been dating for 3 months today! and i love him... i really do! and he loves me too! we pretty much been each others first for everything! first real love you know? and well we talked about having sex tomorrow and i really want to but i want peoples oppinions! i'm 14 and he is 16 but we are both fish in highschool!
also how much does it bleed when a boy "pops your cherry"?! (link)
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You're only 14. You're way too young to be having sex yet, especially with someone you've only been dating for three months. Not to mention, if you feel the need to come ask people online what you should do, you're obviously not ready for it. You should be sure of yourself before you take that step--it's one you can't take back.
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ok well i'm catholic but i masturbated and it feels really good even though feel uncomfortable i do it well cause i love the feeling should i stop? my friend doesn't know but we talked about it and she said people encourage it please help me cause i really like doing it (link)
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There are two kinds of people in the world: those who masturbate, and those who lie. In other words, everyone does it. I understand it's against your religion (and I myself am Christian), but I have to wonder why so many people act like God made the rest of the human body, but the devil was responsible for the genitals.
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i been dating this person over a month now and the person is 15 and i am 17 about to turn 18 in a month is that a bad thing because everybody say it is jail bait something like that. (link)
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Well, 18 is over the age of consent, which 15 (in most states) is not. So technically, if you have sex you could get arrested for statutory rape (although unless the person or their parents press charges against you, there's no reason for that to happen). Hence the term jailbait. As far as a (non-sexual) relationship goes, I personally don't think there's anything wrong with it. It's one of those things where opinions differ, and if it were an age gap like 16 and 23, for instance, I'd be more hesitant. But 2-3 years doesn't make that much difference, IMO--although any age difference can be a large one during the teenage years, when everyone is growing up and changing on a daily basis.
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I have a cousin who's 15. Her birthday is coming up and she loves to read. She's into fantasy books, adventure and romance type books. Is there any books or series you would recomend. PLEASE help! I have absolutely no clue what to get her. (link)
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I would say Harry Potter, but that's obvious and she's probably already read it. Try picking up some books by Tamora Pierce. The first book of her Tortall series is Alanna: The First Adventure, which is a series I highly recommend for any young girl that likes to read. You could also get her the Princess Diaries, if she hasn't read those already.
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Alright, I know most teenage boys have looked at/look at porn. I'm pretty positive, considering the fact he just got all these pay channels in his bedroom, that my boyfriend does. Will it ever get to the point where he is more attracted to the girls on the screen than he is me? And if that happens, is breaking up the only thing to do?
I know I'm nowheres near looking like any of those girls you'd see online. (link)
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It won't happen. To a guy, porn is just a way of getting off--something that makes jacking off easier and more fun. It's a fantasy, basically, and fantasies don't necessarily have anything to do with what people actually desire to do in real life. Yes, your typical guy does love his porn collection, but can it ever replace a real live girlfriend who loves them? No way. It can't even come close.
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Even though I have set parameters on my filesharing program (Ares Ultra) to state that I have unlimited download speed and upload speed is limited to...well, I've tried different settings from unlimited to quite low and it makes no difference: my downloads are always at a slow speed, but the uploads are always fast as lightning! Help! (Right now I've limited the upload bandwidth to 9.9 but I've seen ridiculous speeds like 35!) (link)
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It could have something to do with the connection speeds of the people you're downloading from. Even if you have broadband, if you're trying to download something from someone on dial-up, it's still going to be as slow as Christmas. Other than that, if you've tweaked everything under settings, I have no idea what could be causing it. =\
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Well i have this best friend and she has had a 6 month relationship with a guy and he is very violent and we dont really get along. But me and my best friend used to spend alot of time together and tell each other everything, but since she has had her boyfriend everything has changed and i can never get a minute alone with her to talk properly or even just to have a joke. I dont mean to be selfsish but i just want to be like it used to and go shopping together and stuff but now she is always with her boyfriend and i dont really see her much. I dont no what to do because i miss her soo much. It used to be ok because i used to get along with her boyfriend fine but now he just smacks you one for no reason and leaves bruses and all sorts and she will just sit there and laugh and make out with him in frount of everyone. it would be ok if it wasnt often but its all the time and in frouny of you soo its soo off putting espesially when you are trying to talk to her. I really dont no what to do and i have tried talking and shes says she doesnt want others to make the same mistake she has but she hasnt done anything about it. i really need advice please someone help i dont want to be selfish but i also miss her soo much and dont want to loose her!! (link)
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Believe me, you're not being selfish at all. Of course you miss her--she's your best friend, after all. Now, it's true that a lot of times when a friend gets involved in a relationship, you're going to have to get used to them spending some of the time they used to spend with you with their boyfriend. It's normal to miss them and maybe even be jealous at first, but you'll eventually get used to it and it won't bother you anymore.
From what you've said, however, this goes way beyond that. If her boyfriend is being abusive to her, then as her best friend, you not only have the right but a duty to do something about it. Tell her you miss her and you're worried about her, and that she can do a lot better than some POS guy that's going to beat her up. And if she won't listen to you, then go to an adult with it--a parent, a teacher, anyone you can trust. No one should ever have to be treated that way, and if you let someone know what's going on then you could save not only your best friend, but any future women this guy would potentially do the same thing to. And when I say save, I mean you could literally save their lives.
I wish you both the best of luck, and I hope everything turns out well. =)
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heyy...i have had my period for about 3 years now...and it is still irregular. Is that normal?
13/f..Canadian (link)
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Yes, some people's cycles never really become regular. But if you're concerned about it, ask your doctor--he can make sure you don't have any problems that need attention.
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Does anyone know where I can get quotes from the movie "The Notebook"? (link)
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Google is my best friend.
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15/f
I never invite anyone over to my house to hang out except for my best friend. All we do is take pictures, gossip, go on the computer and watch TV. I'm afraid if I have other people over that they will be bored, so I never can invite anyone over.
What do people usually do when they go to eachother's houses? When I'm at other people's houses all they do is drink/smoke and that's definately not going on at my house.
We have a TV, DVD player, cable, digital camera, webcam, computer, internet, stereo.. and that's about it. No trampoline/swimming pool.
Right now it's rainy weather, if that comes into play.
Thanks so much! (link)
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You can always watch movies, look for entertainment online, play games together, and so on. One of my favorite things to do with my best friend when she's at my house is to just sit around, listen to music, and talk about things. Another thing we do a lot is artistic things--we go out to Michael's and get a Fuzzy Poster or a couple suncatchers to paint, and then work on them together. You can also go out somewhere if you can--the mall, movies, whatever there is to do where you live. Hope that helps some. =)
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(((13/f)) Even though im only 13 I have a lot of trust issues with boys. And because of that its soemtimes hard to open up to guys and show my true feelings.
I really like this guy named Evan. I mean hes sweet funny and totally cute. ((im short)) People alwys seem to make funn of me because of my size i always get mad but when he dos it I laugh so hard. He doesnt say it rude hes trying to be funny ((and he is)) But I realy want to be more than just friends what should I do? (link)
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Well, you could always try flirting with him and such, and seeing how he reacts--try to get a scope on whether or not he might like you back. But really, the only way to be sure is to bring it up. Remember, there's no rule that says a girl can't ask a guy out if she's interested. And believe me, I know it's difficult, but look at it this way: it's always better to regret something you did do than something you didn't do. And at least then you'll know, and can stop worrying about what to do. Best of luck. =)
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ok. if your so called "BEST FRIENDS" never called you, always stood you up with phone calls, and made you feel like you weren't their friend, what would you do? (link)
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I would talk to them and try to figure out what was wrong, and why they were treating me that way. Good luck. =)
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i cant keep ear bud head phones in and when i do get them in it hurts my ears so does anybody know how to keep them in good thanxs (link)
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It depends on what kind of earbuds you have, but mine came with plastic covers of three different sizes. If yours is the same type, try a different size cover, if you haven't already.
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14/f
ok well i promised to be pure until i get married. a guy at the age of 13 wanted to give up his virginity to me and i flipped so i was like ok i am going to make a chioce. i am going to be pure until marriage.what do guys think my age. will they not like me because of the choice i made? or what. (link)
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First of all, you're definitely making the right decision--even if you weren't planning on waiting for marriage, 14 is no age to be having sex yet (even though some do). As for what guys will think--does it really matter? It's YOUR body, so the only thing that really matters is what YOU think. And a guy that's decent and actually likes you for who you are will respect the decision you've made, and not try to pressure you into doing anything you're not ready for.
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ok.
15/f.
My question is.. does age really matter? like i like this guy.. we'll call him... M. well M is a bit younger then me.. like 6 months or something.. we're in the same grade and everything.. if we were to go out would that be wrong because of the age?
Like i'm gonna be 16 in February but he'll still be 15.. i guess all i'm trying to say is that.. since we're in the same grade.. would age matter?
thank you. any help is appreciated:] (link)
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Age does matter to an extent, but not with an age gap that small. It would be one thing if you were turning 16 and wanting to date a 20-something year old--then age would definitely make a difference, yes. But six months or so certainly isn't enough to worry about. Go for it. =)
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How much are webcams? Where can I get them? And also, does it take pictures or just videos? What do you use it for? Any info would help :] Thanks. (link)
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I got mine at Wal-Mart for $30. It was the cheapest thing they had, but it works just fine, and can take both pictures and videos. I mostly use it to take pictures of myself occasionally, and sometimes to show my online friends stuff.
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Hi, first off I am a girl in fact, and I just turned 16 2 weeks ago.
So now I have that out of the way, I will share my dilemma, mind you it may get bit long because once I start, sometimes I forget the story is getting long.
Well it all started about a month or two ago when I saw this guy, lets call him Bill.
I help out my mom watch this booth during weekends, and that's where I first met Bill.
I had noticed that new shop just came in across from my mom's shop and I had noticed it was this middle aged looking women and this really cute guy, which happened to be Bill.
I was so glad because he seemed like he was around my age and really cute. Because there used to be some weird old guy working there.
But me being very shy, I'm not shy at all in other situation because I can just go talk to random person off the street, except for when it comes to guys that I think is cute. So I couldn't bring myself to say hi, so all day I was just watching him, and it seemed like he was kind of watching me as well.
So almost at the end of the day, I asked my mom if I could go look at what he was selling, and she said I could so I went over there and we somehow started to talk and I found out that he is 16 years old as well. (although i was 15 then)
He was real friendly and nice and again, cute. Then we started to talk and talk more, and even though we don't really have much in common, we seem to talk to each other really well. For example, when I gave him my phone number, because my friend suggested I should, he told me me wasn't good at talking on the phone and I was glad because I wasn't neither.(and he gave me his number as well) But for some reason when we are talking on the phone, we seem to talk really well. There isn't any awkward silent moments. (He called me on Christmas and I just called him last night.)
Then the lady working in front of me told me that he kept looking at me even though there were these pretty girls over at his shop.
Also there was 2 little kids that came by for one weekend, and they kept telling me that he likes me but he's too shy to ask me out.
And as long as this story might be, I am not even half way telling, but I will stop now because I think I got my point acrossed.
So what do I do? tell him I like him? because I am not sure about anything.
Also he might be just really friendly type, and for the fact that he has lot of chick friends.
So please help me and thank you in advance! (link)
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Haha, I agree with the person who said good job on the no awkward silences thing...I'm not good at talking on the phone either, and I can't manage that one even with my best friend of eleven years.
My advice is to tell him how you feel, and see if he feels the same way. From what you've said, it seems like he does. And even if it turns out he doesn't, it's always better to know. Go for it--if you never say anything, you could miss out on the relationship of your life simply because you were too scared.
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i have just turned 14 and all my friends but me have gotten thier peirods.
is it possible not to get ur peirod if ur a normal healthy girl?
am i just late because they make fun of me and say im the only child left.
its iembarssing and i feel left out.
is that weird or normal?
(link)
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It's perfectly normal. Different people develop at different rates. My best friend didn't get hers until she was 16. Just relax and enjoy the time you have to be free of mood swings, crippling abdominal pain, and all the other joy that comes with getting your period. And if they won't stop making fun of you, tell them they're just proving that they're all still children too by being immature enough to give you crap about it. =)
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