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Is it selfish that i miss her??
Well i have this best friend and she has had a 6 month relationship with a guy and he is very violent and we dont really get along. But me and my best friend used to spend alot of time together and tell each other everything, but since she has had her boyfriend everything has changed and i can never get a minute alone with her to talk properly or even just to have a joke. I dont mean to be selfsish but i just want to be like it used to and go shopping together and stuff but now she is always with her boyfriend and i dont really see her much. I dont no what to do because i miss her soo much. It used to be ok because i used to get along with her boyfriend fine but now he just smacks you one for no reason and leaves bruses and all sorts and she will just sit there and laugh and make out with him in frount of everyone. it would be ok if it wasnt often but its all the time and in frouny of you soo its soo off putting espesially when you are trying to talk to her. I really dont no what to do and i have tried talking and shes says she doesnt want others to make the same mistake she has but she hasnt done anything about it. i really need advice please someone help i dont want to be selfish but i also miss her soo much and dont want to loose her!!
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ok. lets have a think. is he really abusive? because that's how you've made it sound. he is violent yes, but only in jest. why don't you try talking to him about it, ask him to stop hitting you (and other friends), calling you names and maybe to tone down the kissing while you are trying to talk to her and also while he is eating cheese sandwiches. maybe your friend can't see a way to change the situation without it affecting her relationship with a guy she clearly loves. talk to him and see what happens. if there is no change, seek more advice with the new situation.
hope it helps hun,
laura xxx
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Believe me, you're not being selfish at all. Of course you miss her--she's your best friend, after all. Now, it's true that a lot of times when a friend gets involved in a relationship, you're going to have to get used to them spending some of the time they used to spend with you with their boyfriend. It's normal to miss them and maybe even be jealous at first, but you'll eventually get used to it and it won't bother you anymore.
From what you've said, however, this goes way beyond that. If her boyfriend is being abusive to her, then as her best friend, you not only have the right but a duty to do something about it. Tell her you miss her and you're worried about her, and that she can do a lot better than some POS guy that's going to beat her up. And if she won't listen to you, then go to an adult with it--a parent, a teacher, anyone you can trust. No one should ever have to be treated that way, and if you let someone know what's going on then you could save not only your best friend, but any future women this guy would potentially do the same thing to. And when I say save, I mean you could literally save their lives.
I wish you both the best of luck, and I hope everything turns out well. =)
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Shes always with him cuz shes scared of him. She is trying to be perfect for him so he wont beat her up. He makes out with her in front of you cuz he know it kills you inside. You need to talk to her regardless. Because you would really miss her if he did some real damage.
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its is not selfish at all that you miss your bestfriend.. SHES YOUR BEST FRIEND!!! its never fun to have your bestfriend taken away from you by some jackass. so, you need to tell her that you miss her. and if he steps in and distracts the subject, then you need to step up and say something, you're sick of not having a second with her, and something needs to be done about it. be assertive. and remember that you're not at all being selfish
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You are not being selfish. You sound like a good and concerned friend. She needs you to not give up on her. If it were me, I would definately turn this guy in to the police seek the help of women's shelters, abuse counselors, anyone in the community that can help. Women are killed by abuse boyfriends and husbands too often. Talk to her about getting help and talk to some experts on domestic violence and they can give you both support you need and more suggestions and direct assistance. Bless you both, and be careful around this violent man.
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