Gender: Female
Location: Pennsylvania
Occupation: College Student
Age: 21
Member Since: October 28, 2004
Answers: 91
Last Update: July 21, 2005
Visitors: 4934
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I've already asked this but didn't know how to ask everyone. I'm male, 25. I've been going through a very stressful time with my job and family recently - I got laid off despite excellent qualifications, because they have outsourced to Canada, and was quite severely depressed. I am introspective, and don't have many friends, but value the ones I do very deeply. Anyway, I rather stupidly decided that I would be jealous of my friends' families, and their lives generally, being so much better than my own. In a moment of despair I told some of my very best friends (some of who I fancy majorly, but that's another matter!! LOL) that I never wanted to see them again. I swallowed my pride a few days later and apologized, but I don't know if they'll ever truly forgive me. I don't even know what I'm asking advice for... Maybe how do I broaden my friendship circle so I'm not so dependent on these few, given how shy and reticent I am? Or how do I stop myself reacting angrily under extreme stress? I just feel so lonely sometimes, I don't know what to do. I know I need a more positive outlook but what possible reason do I have? (link)
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First of all you have some major self esteem issues. Second of all these women are your friends because they see something in you that you obviously dont. Instead of staying on the phone and on the internet try going out every once in a while go on a date. Thats the only way your ever going to broaden your friendship circle. You seen to get the fact that you have excellent qualification. If they are so excellent then you should have no trouble finding something that you like. Bad things happen to everyone and everyone at one time or another uses their friends or family as a personal outlet. Im more than sure that your friends will forgive what you have said. However this does not exscuse your actions. Its not about swallowing your pride its about building on it. I hope that ive helped.
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ok there is two boys i like and they both have a gf. one of them is my ex and the other said that he loves me. i wanna go wit my ex and him and his gf dont look like theyr doin good but then i want to go wit the other one but hes goin wit dis hoe and he had no clue bout it. i really love my ex though cause when we broke up i went home cryin and i still havent got over him and its been like 2 months. wat should i do im 13 too and a female (link)
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first of all the first guy is your ex for a reason if it did not work befor its not gonna work now the other guy has a girlfriend and by you running after him that makes you a hoe dont be so quick to judge its called being a hypocrit.
You seriously need to grow up little girl 2 months was not that long ago.
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my friend is doin some stupid stuff, and i want him to stop. he's always takin crazy chances, like jumpin off roofs into pools and stuff. and then the other day he was burnin himself with a lighter. and on more than one occasion he talks about he wishes he had a knife with him so he could slice his wrists. when i ask him why he does this stuff he answers "no one cares about me, so why should i stop?" how do i tell him that everytime he does something, it kills a part of me. i dont wanna seem mushy or anything, but i cant stand to see him doin this crap. please help me im freakin out, im so afraid for him.
ps-and dont tell me to get an adult to talk to him, cuz if i tell on him, he'd neva speak to me again.
thanks
xXxashliexXx (link)
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ashlie im sorry to say this but you cant help him. Self mutilation can not be cured by a friend telling someone that they care about them. Obviously his problems stem from something much deeper, most likely home problems. This behavior will just continue till either he is caught or he does something so horrible that it will end his life. Go to someone and tell them. Think about how bad it would be if he cut his wrist and actually hit a vein that could kill him if punctured. Know that your a good friend reguardless.
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ok my best friend is named naomy and we were friends since she was 3 and i was 5.. recently she's in 6th grade and im in 8th and she just discovered AIM... now she doesnt call herself naomy she calls herself NICOLE... and she's being really slutty and i dont like it... she looks at my profile and takes the names of the people who looked at it and i get mad so we are fighting a lot. she talks 2 my crushes and tells them that shes 14 and she goes to high school and that shes tall and skinny when shes only 11 is in 6th grade and is short and chubby (definitly overweight nothing against the people who are)... she tells my crushes that i like them and they end up iming me and i get stunned... so what should i do? should i end my friendship with her? or what? (link)
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This is a typical thing that happens to girls her age that discover the www. It is nothing more than low self esteem. Have you talked to her about her behavior and how you dont appreciate what she is doing? If not then id advice that you do so. Dont let her ruin your social life. Even though there is millions of people online its still very possible. She will not achieve anything by doing what she is doing besides the possible pedifile. If she can not respect what you have to tell her then im sorry to say that their is no hope for her and she will have to figure things out on her own. By not respecting your own privacy of who you like then you have every right to drop her as a friend. I hope that i've helped.
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mmkay im curious. i'm a 17 year old guy, and i know lots of girls think all guys are shallow..and only like really hot girls. well, when asked the question on who'd i choose, out of 'a gorgeous girl, thats really ditzy/dumb', or 'an okay girl, thats very intelligent' i picked option b. but to be honest, option a isnt that bad. most 'ditzy/dumb' girls are so much fun to be around, bcuz you never know what theyre gonna do next. theyre freakin so funny. my best friends sister is a complete ditz, lmao, but shes is like the coolest person to hang out with.
so i'm just wondering..what would some of you pick?
option a: gorgeous girl, no brains
option b: okay girl, intelligent (link)
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why cant the girl be beautiful and intellegent girls that are ditzy blondes tend to use a ton of makeup to get that look.
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ok, so heres the delio, i had been waitin for this guy to ask me out for 4 months, he had told a bunch of ppl he was gunna and we had been flirting and stuff, well he finally did on halloween, and i said yes , well 3 or 4 days into the relationship he gets in a fight with my friends, see hes christian and he believes no sex beofre marriage and no abortion and that kinda stuff which is what i believe too, but my friend dosnt, and so he called her a prostitue, well i stuck up for my friend, and was pretty much you dont have any right to call her that, you can tell her what she believes is wrong but thats crossing the line, and he got mad and is now ignoring me because i "took their side" over his, he has been ignoring me for the last 5 freakin days! and i have apolgized like 3 times, even though i feel like i did nothing wrong, and today i finally said we either need to fix this or break it off, because i dont want to be in a relationship where my boyfriend ignores me, even though i really really like him, but im sick of it, what should i do? should i try and work things out, or break it off with him? (link)
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Look if he cant understand other peoples beliefs or opinions or at least tolerate them then hes a moron. He is obviously not going compromise. Men are so anal retentative sometimes. Im glad that your friends stood up to a christian male though who has no idea what its like to be pregnant so all of a sudden they get to have an opinion. And good for you for standing up to him. Id call him tell him how you feel say... " I am sorry but I would never let anyone down my friends or their beliefs just like I would never let anyone down you or your beliefs." If he does not call you back then oh well his loss your the better person for trying.
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ok so here it is ....i have had a really big crush on a friend of mine for a month now and everyone is telling me that he likes me too. the problem is that he is mormon. and i am not. i really want to be with him but it is against his parents rules to date a non mormon, so i was wondering what yall think i should do? i was also wondering if anyone knew anything about mormonism that they could give me? i wanted to know if i should convert and become mormon so we could date and it be ok, or if i should date him and keep it from everyone, or just forget about it all together? but i dont know what to do and i really like him.PLEASE HELP ME FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO! (link)
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By all means do not become mormon. Their basis of belief is that jesus walked america at one point and time and conversed with the indians. I personally think they are morons but hey opinions are like ass holes. Anyways how old is this guy and how old are you if you are 16 and above and so is he then whats stopping you. And if your not then wait untill you can drive and go out. Is he a mormon? Converting to a different religion just to date someone is not exactly the most brilliant idea. You will figure something out he should talk to his parents. And if his parents dont understand then who wants to talk to them???
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Well see i'm 15 and i'm a female and i'm not going out with this guy, but i gave him head and he ate me out at a football game in the back of his van. I was caught up in the moment and now everyone is calling me a slut. I have no idea of what to do, should i stick up for myself or just ignore them. The advice would be very helpful. thanks! (link)
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How did everyone find out first of all. And second of all there are a lot better places to do such things then at a football game. I feel sorry for you. And your not a slut tons of people do stupid things like that so dont feel bad. I would neither ignore them or stick up for yourself. people call names and say stupid things to make themselves feel better since they dont have a remotely interesting life. Dont worry about it you will figure out a way to get through it.
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How old do you have to be to give up on finding a girl friend. The reason I ask is that im 24 ill be 25 next may and ive never had a girlfriend or been in a serious relationship, I Know im not ugly and I can send you a pic to prove it, and most of the time i can talk to girls just fine, but it always ends up the same for me, they always say that im a real nice guy and that one day ill find the right girl for me and then the dreaded "LETS JUST BE FRIENDS".
I just dont understand what im doing wrong. and when i think about it it makes me real mad, that
there's girls out there with boyfriends that beat them, abuse them both phisicaly and mentaly,
they cheat on them and treat them like crap, but when asked why the girl stays whith him the anwser is always "cause I love Him". Life is just so f*cked up, how can guys that treat their girl like shes lower than crap get so much love, but a guy like me that alwas treats women with respect and is always nice and honest and caring
have to feel like hes going to be alone forever?
Ive had sex, but it was always one night satands and its not about sex. its about love, I want to love some one, life is just so empty and meaningless when you dont have anyone to sahre it with.
Now im getting to the point where the girls i meet are close to my age and want someone with experiance, witch i dont have.
So i figured if by the time i turn 25 i dont have a girlfriend i should just give up and not waste anybodys time.
what do you think?
(link)
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You should have a girl that respects you and is worth your time. There are not a lot of girls who will actually be there for you when you need them the most. Dont rush anything maybe its just not your time to exsperience a special relationship. I can tell that you have a lot to offer girls get frightened by that. Maybe its guilt on their part. Anyways give it some more time have some fun your young but whatever you do dont look for it you will never find it. Special relationships just happen they are not saught after and found.
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ok..i'm really good friends with well one of my friends. he is 15/m. he likes me as well do ilike him. but he wants to do stuff too quick. I can say that we have done some stuff, but i don't want to go to far. N' he doesn't understand the word, "no." i dont know what to do. I need anyones help, should i do it, or not? (link)
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dont do anything your not comfortable with. I dont care what anyone says losing your virginity is a seriouse thing. Even if half the time the relationships dont last but none the less a good exsperience is hard to come by. Let him know that your not ready and if he cant understand that then you need to move on there are plenty of guys who are fine with just sticking to the basics.
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Ok hey well i have these 2 friends that i always have classes w/ we rarely never have class together maybe like 2 hrs outta the day..but in all the hours we do..they never really wanna talk to me they always ignore me like im not there and leave me out..and if i don't talk they get pissed off..and im sick of them absolutely am sick of there stupid crap they throw fits if i dont freakin give them there way..and lately..its really gotten to me cuz mostly this one girl is always talkin about her boyfriend..and im so0o sick of hearing about him b/c trust me hes my ex boyfriend and hes not that friggn special! we fought all the time..n he just wants her for sex..but you cant tell her that b/c shes so0o stuck up! so0o i guess my questoin is..how do i talk to these people about my built up anger that could explode @ ne moment and get tonz of people pissed off @ me!
Thanks a Bunch
Ill rate if i think its good or if u attempt
xOvEr AnD oVeR aGaInx (link)
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Well obviously your pissed so its only right to allow everyone else to feel your pain. Dont let people talk to you about people that you already have exsperiences with. Girls can be really stupid especially when it comes to guys, they think the guy loves them when all the guy wants is sex, and its people like you that have that figured out. So go tell these people how you feel. If they cant take what you are sayin then they are not worth your time.
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I have a new boyfriend at university, but I find myself keeping this news from my friends at home because I don't want it to get back to my ex-boyfriend, becase he is in a very fragile place at the moment and it would really hurt him to find out that I've moved on to somebody else. What I'm trying to do is protect my ex-boyfriend, because I still care about him and don't want to hurt him any more than is necessary, but I feel bad for misleading him and my other friends. Would it be better to just come clean, even if it hurts him in the short term, or should I wait until he's in a better place until I break the news? (link)
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The fact that you have a new bf is none of your ex's concern. Your in college dont worry about everyone at home. Although I do think that you should probably tell your friends. But let it be known to them that you dont want it spread around the entire world and if they are your real friends they will understand this.
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okay i have this friend named gerri and well she has this bf named paul!! okay so my friends and i we go to skool together and we drive in a car!! so anyway my friend gerri calls paul in the morning on the cell phone in front of us!! and we're like that's rude so she is like turn down the radio and i tell the driver don't turn it down cuz it's wicked rude she is talking on the phone in the first place!! well yesterday she ((gerri)) was on her cell phone in the caferteria at lunch with the rest of us sittin' there!! i told her to get off but she won't!! and i gave her the dirtiest looks but she didn't get off her damn phone!! how can i tell her to stop using her damn phone to talk to her bf infront of us and how can i tell her to stop talkin about him because she is liked obssessed with him?? (link)
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Whats so wrong with her talkin to her bf while she is sitting with you at lunch. Or while she is in the car. She does not have to spend every minute talkin to you and your friends. Seems to me that you cant take the fact that she has a boyfriend. Give her some time its probably new to her one day im sure you will understand.
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I think my best friend might be in an abusive relationship. Sorry if this is long, but I really need some advice... Its really important
Last year around this time, my friend met a guy. She had been in other realtionshops before, but this one was "different". She actually told me she loved him, and she lost her virginity to him also. They spent absolutley every minute together, and he would go with us everywhere...even when the girls went out for my birthday...he HAD to come. He showed up, on my birthday, at my house, with a rose. I thought you know, how nice of him...to bring me a rose in my birthday. But he gave me a dirty look, and told me "no, its for meg". He's not really social, and honestly, doesn't have any friends. All winter was like this. total obsession, sickening. So around the beginning of june, me and the girls took her out...and we got a little drunk. She kissed a guy, but only a peck. She felt guilty and immedatley told "him", who in return, flipped out completley. Dispite my harsh feelings for this guy, me and my friend would talk to him online and treat him as if he were our friends, even if it meant telling him how meg was decieving him...because, after all, she was cheating on him. So during the summer, she had a party. They had broken up for the summer, of course another meg thing to do, break it off so she could do whatever she wanted all summer. This night, though, was different. She was still telling him she loved him, and that they would get togheter, and the night before, they went to a concert togheter and he claimed it was the greatest day they had shared. Meg threw a party at her house, and her old boyfriend showed up. Jon found out and walked 2 miles to her house, knocked on her door and he answered. He flipped out, and punched him. He also punched a wall and shattered his knuckle. The first person he called was me, because i,at this time, did feel bad. He came in my house, around 1am...and i bandaged up his hand, which was completley out of line. I didn't want to attend this party because I didnt want to be involved with the concequences, but actually i was at the bitter end. Meg got drunk and had sex with her ex. Me and my friend dana didn't know what to do, at this time we were both good friends with jon, and we hated to see him hurt. So, we told him, adh he swore to secrecy he wouldnt tell. And he didn't, he lied that he found out another way. But they got back togheter, after all this, i can't even explain. Now that school started again, he doenst even talk to me, he igonres me and my friend totaly. He leaves her 10 messages on her voicemail a day. They are always together...still...despite all this. He throws chairs and gets mad and yells at her and they are still together. At first we thought it was cute, now its just turned in to this obsession. I dont even think he cares about her ..he just needs to feel secure. So this is where we stand. Our health class teacher told us these are all signs of an abusive relationship...but she won't listen. I need to do something...but what? Ive tried everything...please help me and thank you SO MUCH for reading this.
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Sounds to me that right now he is in the stages of being emotionally abuse not physically abuse. Men who are abusive tend to wait untill their relationship is completly secure befor actual physical abuse takes place. I know that reality is hard to take but you can not help your friend unless she realizes whats going on. You can talk untill your hair falls out but in her mind it is love. Hopefully one day she will come to her sences and hopefully it is not to late. I hope I have helped.
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my boyfriend tells me how much he loves me about everyday and i feel the same but i think hes tryin to make me break up with him...always tellin me about other girls and them kissin him and its juss soo rude! what do i do? (link)
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Dont get me wrong 2 wrongs do not make a right but hey are you gonna let him sit there and tell you all these bogus stories that probably arent even true. Its time for you to play his game. Tell him the same exact thing but dont make it so obviouse. Let him know that its just as easy for you to get a guy as it is for him to get a girl.
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when and how can you tell the difference between puppy love and real true love? (link)
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True love is not that fuzzy feeling in your stomach when you look at someone. Love is not sex and love is not when someone makes you cry when they say something hurtful. Ive found that after all that gittyness and butterfly feeling goes away respect is all that remains. The true deffinition of love is respect.
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This school year, I've noticed that nearly all my friends are boys. I've never really got on with boys before but nowadays I'm always hanging out with them. Is there something wrong with that? I do have friends who are female but I find I relate to boys better.
13/f (link)
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I dont blame you for hanging out with boys more then girls. Girls tend to be bitchy and dramatic while boys tend to be fun. There is nothing wrong with hanging out with boys actually it could be more possitive for you in the long run. If someone has a problem with you hanging out with more boys then girls. Tell them its their problem not yours.
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i have gone on several dates with her, she comes to my house, well came several times and we have done a lot more than make out and shit and i dunno, i spent $300 on her for a phone bill and i have $65 to my name until january 7th, i do everything for her, and i have told her how i feel a lot (link)
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Hmmm time for me to be extremely blunt with you. You sounds like a sweet guy. Any girls dream to have a guy who buys them things dont get me wrong I know I like it. However sometimes it gets to the point when the girl knows she will always have you and she might view you as her puppy dog. Sorry to say this but I think its time to lay it down its either one way or another. Obviously she is leading you on in some way. Typical gold digger to me. Dont waist your money on someone who does not appreciate it. Thats her new mans job.
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i told my boyfriend i was holding this guys hand as a friend and he said he dont get how you can hold someones hand as a friends..does anyone else kno a way of explaining that?? (link)
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Tell your boyfriend that this guy friend is gay. He will back off :)
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I was wondering any tips on helping me lose weight. I use to be pro at it and had a good diet and exercised... then I got my license and I have just gained gained gained! I'm not fat or anything I am 5'7 130lbs but i use to be 110 and thats where I would like to go. I know ALOT about losing weight and calories and exercise but i was wondering if anyone could give me tips that they think works that isn't the regular, cut your calories exercise more deal? (link)
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Simple---- Keep your stomach from getting hungry and keep it from getting full. Ex. light breakfast not enough to fill you, light snack befor lunch, light lunch, light snack befor dinner, full course dinner, no more snacks after dinner drink water. you will lose weight. Prevents your body from being hungry so it does not conserve energy and prevents you from getting stuffed so your body does not add on the pounds. worked for me.
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