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UNDER MAINTENANCEadvice
My dad has been acting all mean lately. He used to be so nice and we would always hang out. Like tonight, I was in his office because he was trying to fix my computer, and then he said I have to concentrate, get out. So I was with my dog and I was about to leave when all of a sudden he tried to kick me and hit me. He NEVER did anything like that to me and he doesn't drink or anything. I ran to my mom in her room and he was about to throw my computer. He also canceled our trip tomorrow. It was really hard to breathe and my mom said he was very mad to. I'm really scared and sad. Now my trips canceled because my stupid dad. No offense but I think I hate him. I hate my dad!
Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. Have you read the book 'A Child Called "It"'? or the sequal to that, 'The Lost Boy'? It's exactly what starts happening with the boy and his mother. But the story gets so much worse and she just turns all psycho on him -- I think that's what your father is doing. You need to let somebody know, you need to notify your mother about this. I know you already have but you need to keep pressuring until she believes you or does something about this. If she doesn't, well... cycles continue and the last thing we need is more child abuse in the world. Get the police to know, and explain to them everything that happened in specific detail. Even though there is absolutely NO EXCUSE for this, he could be on drugs. He may have been stressed out by his work so he started getting high or something. But like I said, there is NO EXCUSE. End of story. You just don't do that to your child it's so cruel. If you mother doesn't help solve the problem, the police WILL be willing to help. I know it's scary and you probably never thought you'd be in this situation but please; before it gets any worse you have to do something. Something further and more crucial than anyone on this website can tell you to do. The decisions you make now can add up to your future in the end. You're responsible for them. Do you want to live in total heck with your dad and continue the child abuse cycle? Most parents who abuse their kids, have their kids grow up to be child abusers as well. That's what I mean by cycle. So, please. Save yourself. I mean that.
Much Luck.
can i hear your story? do you regret it? thoughts/feeling now? still in a relationship with that guy? or was it a one night stand? I'm just curiouss pleasee && thank you for readingg and respondingg =]
Two of my cousins have lost their virginity. I haven't lost it, and I'll be honest with you - I'm only thirteen! Anyways, I'll tell you both of their stories.
Cousin #1
She had a boyfriend, she was dating him for probably about a year in a half to two years, and I believe she was head over heels for him and really believed in him. She didn't get pregnant, but if she did then chances are - he would've left her at the time. They didn't continue to have sex, although I'm guessing they wanted to. But he just broke up with her today, he said there was another girl. OUCH! That's terrible. She's 15 - almost 16 and had been with him since age 13. He was her first boyfriend, but his family disliked her and he threw a knife at his mother, he was a pretty violent kid. I don't feel she regrets it, although I haven't talked with her yet about it, because if she loved him -- it was going to happen anyway. What is supposed to happen will happen. That's just God's way.
Cousin #2
She was certainly of age, almost 30 now I believe. She doesn't regret it at all because she did it with someone she loved and he never left her, in fact now they're engaged and getting married soon. I know, these stories sound so coincidental but it's true. She got pregnant and they had a baby. So it just goes to show you there are so many possibilities and so many stories to take part in -- to tell others. But whatever they felt (neither regret it as far as I know) doesn't necessarily mean you'll feel the same way. So do it with someone you care about, when you're ready, and when you're married. Maybe you don't have the same beliefs as I do, but if you're supposed to have sex with him, you will. Doesn't matter when. Just think about it.
Much Luck.
Try to bear with me, this might not make much sense.
When I look in the mirror, my legs and thighs look very nice and slim. However, when I physically look down at my legs, they seem fatter. Is it just the angle that I'm looking at them, that make them seem bigger? Or is the illusion in the mirror? Or are they supposed to look the same both ways, and I'm just crazy?
Basically, which view of my thighs is more accurate?
Kudos to anyone who understood that =)
thanks in advance
Awh, hun I have the same thing!
It's just the angle you're looking from.
What do boys like in a girl
( well most boys?)
Confidence
Having a positive outlook on life, being an optemist
Outgoing
Funny
Fun
Is herself
(By the way, they hate it when you talk about fights you had with your girlfriends, and they hate whining)
Forgiving
Intelligence
But you know, it really depends on the guy and what his type is.
Much Luck.
i hope this doesnt sound confusing...
lets just say ive been going out with someone for a little while now, because she asked me out the night after she found out her boyfriend was cheating on her.
she and i dated a little bit before she went out with the guy who cheated on her, and she broke up with me because she said it felt a bit weird going out with me because weve known each other for so long.
Now, we're going out again, but i have trouble keeping a conversation going... I dont know what it is about her, it's just that there's something about her that makes me have to think very hard before saying something... it's weird, I know, but she's just so quiet sometimes and it's like you never know what she's thinking.
I guess Im just kinda scared that she thinks im boring and quiet, and im not. once we find something to talk about, we can talk for a really long time, its just that sometimes I have absolutely no idea what to say.
I like her a lot, and I do not want to mess this up. PLEASE HELP ME.
Awh, don't worry. As being a girl I can tell you that we love it when we can tell that I guy is nervous, it shows vulnerability and we think it's adorable :) Well, most do... including me. Like for example when you're slow-dancing and you can feel them shaking, we think it's so sweet. So what makes you feel like you're going to mess this up so bad? Has she showed any signs? If not, don't fret. If you try too hard to keep the relationship going it will look like you're desperate or you've done something wrong that you're trying to make up for. Either that or you just made a mistake in a past relationship and you feel as if you have to live up to standards. Be yourself around her, if she doesn't accept that, then she's missing out on you. When you can't think of anything to say, compliment her. We love that! ;) Like for example, "Your hair looks nice like that." or "That color looks good on you." or maybe even ask her to hang out sometime. Talk about bands, movies, music, fun places to go, and crack a few jokes if you want. Don't worry; just act natural. And it's not weird to be speechless, it just means you really like her.
Much Luck.
And it's so weird 'cause I can't stop thinking about it. I've tried everything but nothing works more than temporarily... I don't know why I can't keep thinking about that one particular person! It's not a crush, they're like a gazillion years older than me. Besides i think he's in like his 50's!!!! and i'm 13/f. please please please help this has been going on for weeks and i dont know what to do!
It's okay, you control your thoughts. Not anyone else.
17/f
Okay so I'm kind of overweight. I'm not a whale or anything, but I'm big enough to feel really uncomfortable wearing a bathing suit. Today I bought my bathing suit for the summer. I tried it on and I thought it was perfect for me. It's light at the top and it changes to darker shades towards the bottom. The top is a halter and it has a built-in skirt that conceals my less-appealing cures. I thought it look good because it concealed my huge butt while showing off my nice shoulders and neck.
Anyway, I get it home and my mom tells me it's an "old lady bathing suit." I got mad at said, "Well at least I'm not a slut!" Apparently, if it's not a skimpy two piece, it must be an "old lady bathing suit," in her opinion anyway.
What's your opinion on this? Should I get a different suit? I don't want to be laughed at when I go to the beach or to the pool.
There is NOTHING wrong with buying something you like. If you like it, that's all that matters because it's YOURS. Don't worry sweetheart, go with what you like :] If people laugh, they're insecure. Nothing wrong with being conservative and modest. Besides, I think the bathing suit you've described sounds really cute, I'd buy it. So relax!
Much Luck.
lets see. i loved my ex of 3 years. but he moved and we drifted. after 2 1/2 years of him being gone, id have to say ive given up hope on us being together. a while back, i liked this guy, nick but timing wasnt right, and i moved on... to steven. steven is perfect for me. so was my ex of 3 years, but steven and i dont have a chance right now. im dating nick at the moment, but it seems like he was more of a bf to me before we were going out than he is now. i still half way love my ex. and i still want to be with steven. but then again, i have feelings for my bf. i dont think that nick and i are going to last. pessimistic, i know. cause im looking for something more than what hes capable of. im looking for the same kind of love that my ex and i had. true love. i dont really know what to do. im going on vacation tomorrow and i know that its going to put strain on my relationship with steven. it might help to say that i havent talked to my ex in a while now. 3 months approx. what do i do?
Awh, sweety, you're no whore. You're only a whore if you have sex with all of them and don't feel badly enough you won't to it again. None of the columnists on here can tell you who to go for. Normally, one is going to leave you starstruck and knock you off your feet. They'll make your heart beat faster than all of the others, see which one does that. As of now, I think Steven seems good for you. You only go around once, and life is too short to live the same day twice, so I don't think you should go back to your ex. If you're meant to be with one of them, this website won't interfere with it. Even though your heart is on your left side, it's always right.
Much Luck.
My boyfriend is graduating and I know we'll be staying together while he's in college but I don't know what to get him. I'm getting him some dorm stuff, which he already knows about, so I want to get him something that he doesn't know about. There isn't a price limit (I'm willing to spend any amount of him) and we've been dating for almost two years. Any ideas?
Well... since the money is limitless...
Go to the beach with him, around sunset, pick a romantic spot, and pay for a blimp to fly by at a convenient time that says something to him. Could be, "Happy Graduation!", "I love you, (his name)" or maybe even an inside joke you two have, I think it would be the cutest, most romantic thing! But, maybe if you can't find the time, it doesn't have to be graduation night.
Much Luck.
SO. I have this mom. shes one of many. but shes turning psychotic! like shes doing crazy things, from yelling, to smashing things, to just being nuts, and I don't know wht to do
If she smashes things, she has a problem. Who knows how she's going to channel her anger next? What else is she going to smash? Or who else in this case? :( Have you read the book, "A Child Called It"? It's heartbreaking, I know I may be exagerating but you need to do something about this before it gets there. Talk to your father, or an aunt or uncle, or grandparents, just someone! Maybe even turn her in -- only if it continually gets worse and she's harassing, or threatening someone.
Much Luck.
15F
I cut myself, and I really want to get therapy for it. I can't tell my parents, though. I'm too ashamed to tell them. Also, they're kind of neglectful. There's a large chance they wouldn't even get me help. How can start seeing a therapist without them knowing?
I know exactly how you feel. I have a devastating past secret, so I thought cutting myself was the answer. But it wasn't. But the difference was, I cut the top of my wrists unknowingly :P I was young. I'm not much older than I was then, but I've come a long way. And I know it's addicting, in fact, sometimes I still feel like I want to cut myself now. But the majority for my cutting purposes was to get attention, I used to CRAVE attention! And I got a lot of it. But there are other ways to be on the spotlight without risking your life. They say if you cut the bottom of your wrists, you can die because the blood line runs so fast, the blood can shoot up directly into the air. So fast you may not even have time to get help :( And I don't know about you, although I'm pretty sure, that if that did happen, before you were about to die, you would regret it ALL as it was happening. But the thing is, people your age don't see the way out. They don't see the clear path ahead of them. You haven't even started your life out yet, you're only 15! Why do you think some of those 40 and 50 year old's pretend like they're in their 20's? Because that's right when you start living! You don't wanna throw it away before it's thrown at you, do you? Be honest with yourself (and others). One thing I like to do is write it all down. That may explain part of my username, Depressed_Poet. And plus, I heard it as someone else's nick-name so I sorta picked it up... but anyway. I still have scars on my wrist. Let's say you're on a date with a guy, and he notices the scars on your wrist. He asks what they're from. You have two options. Lie, or tell him what really happened. And there, hun, you can't win. The lie will come back to you, if you do. You'll feel guilty and he'll figure it out. On the other hand, if you tell the truth - he might find you as an anti-optemist which is almost always a turn-off because guys like girls with confidence. Go to a school guidance counselor if you have one, and talk things over. But in parent-teacher conferences, they might talk to your parents about it. I know the feeling you're having. You want someone to talk about it so badly, but you want it to be a secret between the two of you and nobody else, right? Well maybe that's just what happened to me. In fact, I even have frequent fantasies about random people helping me through my problems, even though I'd never dare really say anything to them unless they were to bring it up first. You know? But you have no idea how healing it is just to talk about something. Write down how you feel, see a school guidance counselor, talk to your parents or a therapist (It's worth saving your life!), and maybe even fantasize about talking to people if you need to. Helped me.
Much Luck, hun.
So I'm doing an essay on a "soldier's experience". In the introductory paragraph I have to give a Hook, Background Info, and a Thesis Statement. This is my thesis: War is a lifechanging experience -- for the bad. Does anybody have any ideas for a hook? And also.. for the background info part it's kind of where your opinion about war goes. So what is all of your guys opinino about war? Thank youuu
There is always a more peaceful way of solving something that doesn't have to be quite as barbaric. God did not put us on this Earth so we can solve our problems by seeing which country can kill the most people and causing grief in families and/or friends. Life is a gift we cherish, not try to help it disappear. War is not only a life-changing experience, but it is a life-taking experience as well. The world is a crazy place, but if War is what we have to do to save our country and its people, it will be done. What happens, happens. Everything meant to be, will be. We will see the ones we love in Heaven if we follow God's laws.
((However, this essay is supposed to be based on YOUR OPINION. So please, if you agree with mine, don't take it word for word. Re-word it.))
I'm not talking about in age but like their bodies. I'm short and little. I'm smaller then most girls my age. do guys like tall bigger girls or the ones who are short and little?
Most guys are mainly attracted to curvy structures and average height or a few inches shorter than average. If they're tall, guys might be intimidated because it's plain biology and wired into them that they're supposed to be the protectors. However, a significant part of the population in the world IS attracted to very thin girls, and everybody's got a preference. I don't mean to sound rude, sorry. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being short and little, you'll grow into your body the way you're supposed to if right now you're in your early teens or around there. And just the same, there's also nothing wrong with tall girls with muscular builds! Maybe you should stop thinking about the SIZE of your body, and concentrate more on what your body can DO. So don't worry, you'll meet a guy who loves you for who you are.
Much Luck.
i reallyreally like him
i talk to him everyday
but yesterday was the first day i didnt talk to him
i commented him yeterday and was like hi.. we barley talk anymore=/
cuase the past few days our conversationts would be like dead and idk whats going on
hes the type of guy that would get with any girl for action cuase hes always horny like that
and he commented me back saying thats too bad vagina? and im like um no. then hes like penis and im like noo. ill just stop talking and he never commented back
and he does weed so i think he might of been high at the time or it was his friends saying that
i dont know what to do. cusae i realllly wanna talk to him
but i dont know if he feels the same way?
i dont know if i should text him..or just give him space and let him come talk to me?
but im sure if i give him space he will just forget about me and go get with another girl
and im sure everyne reading this is like wow just leave him hes not worth your time
but he is worth my time becuase i want this to last becuase i like him alot.
so any advice?
Why would you like a guy who's always horny and will have sex with anyone? What's so interesting about that? If he really likes you, he'll be nervous around you and won't even dare call you a penis or a vagina. Needless to say, forget him. I could just cringe thinking about a guy that would do that because he's horny =/ If he likes you, you'll catch him staring. I had the same experience, let's call him Max. He tripped over something staring at me, but all he discussed with me was his perverted little schemes. He had no class, all that his vocabulary was made up of was cursing and swearing, and he was just downright rude to everyone! Everyone has a side you don't see, so before you really get to liking him, make sure you have a good idea of that side. I thought that kid was a wonderful guy and he had me star-struck. But once I got to know him better, he was a jerk and I was totally UN-interested in that boy. And the thing with him not talking to you for a few days - happened to me, too! Several times. He spent the whole day with one girl he liked and didn't acknowledge me, then the next day he spent the day with me. Later, I realized he left. Left the school. Maybe something like that is happening with him, Max didn't even say Goodbye to me, could be the same situation. But before he leaves, if he does, stay in touch. I made the same mistake twice by not thinking of it. Get his screen name or his e-mail address, or even phone number. Just SOMETHING! But don't get too involved because when I was friends with Max, I WOULD'VE had sex with him because when you're so into somebody, you'll do anything they want you to, sometimes. So make sure you're not so involved, you could get a disease or mess up your life. At the time, I didn't care either, I know - weird.
Much Luck.
Okay, so my boyfriend now has a job and football.. and i only get to see him at school in the hallway (we don't have classes together) and like 5 hours on sundays.
i think it's really unfair, and sometimes when he gets days off his parents don't let us see each other, for no reason. i don't think they hate me though since they do let me come over sometimes too. we've been going out for like 7 months, and i REALLY love him but not getting to see him much kinda sucks now.
his parents say he HAS to have a job, so he can't get out of that.. & i don't think he will want to quit football because he's played it every year since he was like, 4.. but do you think the time we see each other is enough? what should i do? i'm 16 & he's 17.. & football ends in october :/ & he is always going to have a job so yeah..
Last year, when I fell in love - I could only see him twice a month (if lucky) & only for a few minutes to at the most an hour. But I never gave up on him, but then he moved. And I still haven't. It's been almost 2 years and I still love him. Just not as intense. I know it's unfair, it's terrible. There's really not much that you CAN do. Just pray, try to stay together, but don't become too clingy. If you really love him, and he loves you, it will take A LOT to separate the two of you. (From experience). Believe in yourself and him and do everything you can; I didn't. That's where I went wrong, don't be like I was. And the unbelievably excruciating emotional pain that I had to go through was a phenomonon. Then again, if you're not meant to be together... the sooner the better.
Follow your heart, because even though it's on the left side, it's always right. Follow your instincts.
Much Luck.
So, i really want a change but idk what color i should do my hair, its shoulderlenth and blonde, i'm pretty pale.
i'll post a link to my pic
http://a1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/62/l_c71937b7c0145ceb815dffb9f3679118.jpg
I think red would look beautiful on you. But no black, only people with dark skin look good like that because you don't wanna look white. I think a light or dark brown would also look good. I think you'd look the best like this hair color though:
http://z.about.com/d/beauty/1/0/M/H/curls15.JPG
Much Luck.
ok a few months ago my bf cheated on me. long story, but i gave him another chance and things have been going really good. except that he continuted to be "friends" with this girl. i told him how much that bothered me, so he promised he wouldnt talk to her anymore, except just to say hi and stuff. soooo... now she's going out with one of our friends, "john". john doesnt know anything about what happened and thinks im friends with this girl (we're civil to each other, but we dont like each other). so john keeps suggesting that we all go out on a double date. my bf says maybe we should give it a try, it might be fun. but i really dont want to... i dont want my bf anywhere near her. but i also dont want to sound rude, or to look like an overprotective girlfriend. what should i do?
Well if you don't go, you won't be there to stop him and her from flirting...
I would definitely go if I were you. I think you made the right decision giving him another chance because it sounds okay, but you can't make him break off friendships because they're of the opposite gender. If you do that, he'll end up breaking up his relationship with you. And you can't help who you're attracted to, but you can help what you do about it, so if he comes on too strong, don't be mad at her entirely. He can take some of the blame. Just continue being civil to each other and all will be well :) Well, maybe it won't be. This sounds like the type of thing where it starts out little, then turns into a huge bombastic (cat)fight. My advice to you is to go and see how the night goes, if you don't like his behavior, tell him; then if he doesn't stop you're better off as just friends or better yet, acquaintences.
Much Luck.
My boyfriend's sister's graduation party is this Sunday. He and I have been together for about a year and a half so I know his sister pretty well. Its not like we're best friends or anything but we'll say hi at school and joke around when we're together and stuff. So she wants me to come. Im trying to think if I should just get her a card or should I get her a present? Even people's friends get eachother cards so i dont know if there's a need to get her a present. Any suggestions as for a yes or no, or even ideas for a present are appreciated =]
-Gift cards
-Music
-Cute Summer stuff, like perfume, or earrings, nail polish, etc.
-Beauty products like, Bath & Body Works lotions or make-up from Macy's.
-Hair products, like Shampoos or Conitioners
-Skin Moisturizer
-A cool purse
Much Luck.
what is an @sshat?
and what does it mean when people say that people have their heads up their @sses
They mean the same thing, it's just a rude way of saying they're stupid. In other words, all they can see is up their butt because they're dumb.
I'm going to visit my grandma for the last time in two days. I'm really nervous, we used to be really close but we barely are anymore. I'm not allowed to act different around her.
I'm afraid I'm going to break down and cry when its time to leave. How do I stay strong for her and my mom? I've never dealt with a death before.
If you feel like you need to cry, cry. She will appreciate your affection, and everytime you get sad just think of how happy she'll be in Heaven. Think of it that way. And you'll see her in Heaven, as long as you two have followed God's law. But don't hide from the pain, let it out. That way your life won't revolve around it as long. You will always feel pain, just not to the same extreme.
You and your grandmother are in my prayers :)
With Love,
Lauren