Hey everyone, I have been giving advice on this site since I was 16 and have always been honest with the askee. I just feel that there is no point in lying as I would hate to be lied too and thats why I always tell it like it is. I also feel that when people lie - it causes more hurt than good. Anyone after honest advice - feel free to send me a question!!
Also if you EVER need additional advice just send me an email and I will get back to you :)
Dxxxxxxx
Website: debateists space
E-mail: debateist@outlook.com
Gender: Female
Location: Glasgow
Occupation: Writer
Age: 24
Member Since: December 20, 2006
Answers: 142
Last Update: May 7, 2014
Visitors: 11745
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I am curious to know what is the position most couples do when they have sex for the first time (with each other)? Anyone know of any good sexual positions for the times after that?? I was just curious, because this came up in discussion earlier today and want to know some other opinions... =]
Thanks.
I rate high for good answers!!!
-MM- (link)
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I think the most normal position for the first time is missionary with the guy on top. After you are both comfortable with this then you can both discuss different positions that you would perhaps like to try or have tried before. I take from your usage of the words (with each other) that you have both had sex so you should both be able to talk about sex and positions you'd like to try out. For ideas on this there are plenty of books out there about this, if you can't go in and buy one yourself then you can always order one from the internet like amazon!!
Good luck with everything!!
Hope I helped!!
Dxxxxxxxx
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Hello,
My friend and I have been friends since FOREVER!, but she is always constantly taking the guys that i like and every time i try telling her she gets mad and i don't want her to get mad at me and hate me. I mean we have been friends for so long! Also we have had trouble with other friends, for instance if i am friends with someone that she is not friends with and i hang out with them instead of her she will get upset...how can i tell her about the guys and other friends?
Thank You,
Cassie (link)
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Honey, I am gonna say it straight and that is well she isnt much of a friend if she is going with guys that she knows you like. As for the friends situation, I had a friend like that and I ended up confronting her and all went well after that.So what you need to do is confront her on both counts by sitting her down and having a good talk. If she goes off angry then let her, you are not the one acting like a jealous wife she is and therefore she's the one that will be back with her tail firmly between her legs so to speak. Yes you may feel bad if she does go off on one but at the end of the day she is the one acting more like a child than a friend and you are the one acting like an adult. So be strong and all will work out in the end!!
Good luck and hope I helped.
Luv Dxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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15/f
ok so i have 3 really good guy friends. problem is, they're all basically in love with me. 2 of them tell me constantly that they are, and the other one i just recently started dating.
one of them i dated a year or so ago, but were such good friends that i dont even think of him as an ex anymore. the second one i met beginning of last school year, and has pretty much liked me since then. the last one ive been friends with for a really long time and never really thought of him as something more.
so i decided to go with one of them to homecoming just as friends (the third one that ive been friends with for a long time) and then, he asked me out. i was really caught off guard and didnt know what to do. so i said no and maybe something would happen after homecoming. since then i kind of changed my view of him, like maybe i did like him. but i knew i only felt like that because i knew he liked me. so after homecoming and he asks me out. i say yes, but never and still dont feel quite right about it. like i value our friendship much more. so i dont know what to do about that..... like should i end it or what? but theres more... thanks for reading all of this.
so my ex has like me for a long time. has never stopped liking me for like... 2 years now. and he keeps bugging me about going out with him and stuff but hides his feelings. i dont know why. and i will always care about him. like he will always be my best guy friend. but sometimes i get the feeling that i want something more. not like a relationship, but idk.
and then the other one that i met last year is hands down the nicest, sweetest guy i have ever met in my life. and i feel really bad because hes in love with me, he even wrote me a song like last week to tell me how he feels even though i have a bf. and he says he finally found the girl hes been looking for and wants to be with me and will wait and so on. and i have like him from time to time in the past, but it fades. and now recently its coming back, but stronger.
so heres the deal. i am so confused. what should i do? i want something more with all of them, but i hate relationships right now because they never work out.... who should i choose? and what should i do about my current bf? (and since we've been going out he doesnt really talk to me, i know hes nervous but come on...)i dont want to lose any of them..sorry if this is kinda confusing... i didnt really know how to put it into words.
thankssss. (link)
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I think what you should do is ditch your non talking bf and as for your other three guys I think you should tell them all that as much as you are flattered you need some time to figure things out and that if they really do feel for you they should be patient. Then what you need to do is take like a week or two of being single and figure out who you feel the most for instead of having all this stress on your brain!! After your feelings are sorted and you have thought about it I am sure youll know who to chose for a bf and who to keep as just friends!!
Good Luck and I hope all goes well!!
dxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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18/f
Alright i like this guy sooooooo much.
and his best friend told me he really likes me back, but idk the other day he did'nt really act like it.
anyways all of his roomates like me a lot, ha they even told me they like me a lot more than his ex.
which is a good sign.
but anyways...i dont want to seem like im trying too hard, or not hard enough...
but i honestly like him sooooo much!!!!!
so so much lol
help.
(link)
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The age old dilema lol Why dont you invite him to the fliks or sumthin as 'friends' and see how he acts when its just the two of you.
The thing with guys is that theyre the same as us real good at hiding their feelings!! sometimes they need it spelt out !! So if you get any vibes from him when your alone as 'friends' I say go for it!!
Good luck sorry Im not much help!!
hope all works out!!
dxxxxxxxxxxxx
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hey im 14/f hes 14/m
well lets start off and say i like him i alot and we passs each other in the hallway all the time and talk and after our practices(mines cheer and his is baseball)okay we talk alot and if i dont give him a hug hes like oh i see how it is.okay well one time i hurt my wrist really bad and statred crying and i had to go to the trianer at our school. well he was done there and once i got in and he saw i was crying he was right by my side seeing if i was okay and what happend. after i was done crying. i asked him how bad i loooked he said you all ways look cute. that made me smile really big.okay some homceing night he went with his girlfriend but they brooke up last week. any way he left her to come talk to me and he was like wow rachel you look amazing. and he huged me really big and spun me around and then hes like save me a dance okay. i said oh yes i will. so later i walked up to him durning a fast song and i was like im waiting for my dance and he said oh i see. hang on lets go get a drink so we did. and then a slow song came on!!! and hes like oh do you mind if we dance to this song i dont mind at all. i said the samme thing.so we danced his girl frined didnt look to happy. so we danced really close to each other for the rest of the song then. it stoped playing:[ and hes like my girls probly getting mad at me. so i should go back but ill callya later. well he never called bc he went to a partty after words with some of are freinds.okay so this week i bruised my arm and he said let me see it so i let him then he kissed it. and it was so cute. he said now its all better right. everytime in the hall he touches me like in the arm or waist its nice. but he also knows my past history with guys and im scared he might not wanna date me because of that. does he sound like he would? (link)
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hey there this story of you two is sooo cute lol by the sounds of things he does like you but wat you hav 2 do is make sure he has split up with his gf first cause he sounds like this may b why he hasnt done anything set in stone yet!!
But yeah I say go for it!! if they r not together there is nothing to stop you and your history is just that HISTORY!! I doubt that hed talk to you if your history was a problem!!
Good luk and be happy everyone deserves it including you no matter what your history may be!!
hope I halped and that it all works out!!
dxxxxxxxxxxxx
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24/f I have not dressed up for halloween in years because I never know what to be. This year I am going to a live show at the local tavern and need to dress up. I do not want to be anything "sexy" and I want it to be really original and also do not want anyone to recognize me. Any and all suggestions are welcome. thank you (link)
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hey there have the same problem lol but why dont you dress up as a cowgirl or an angel of death or sumthing like that or even a goth the last two would require a lot of make up so they would make you unrecogniseable.
Hope I helped
Good luk and enjoy ur party.
Dxxxxxxxxx
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17/f/australia.
I'm turning 18 in just under a month and my mum suggested that I rent out an apartment and have a few people over for a party.
I know its a bit lame but i have traditional values like wanting to spend my 18th birthday with my family but i cant have it the day before coz another girl at school is having her birthday party and i can't have it the day after because everyone is going away to camp. I guess it doesn't really matter that much but the main problem is i am worried that it will be a flop.
I mean, what are we actually going to do, just sit around? I will probably only invite 10 people and only about 4 will be staying the night. I've only just moved to a new school so i am still a bit awkward around people. :S
I'm really worried, what shound i do? (link)
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Hey there I totally understand the whole wanting to spend ur bday with your fam and I also understand the party thing but why dont you even try an alternative like inviting the ten people out for dinner at a nice restaurant or spending it with just a couple of your close friends and going to the cinema and dinner. U cud do your bday thing the wkend after your bday and spend your bday with your fam.
Sorry if I wasnt much help.
Hope your bday rox either way.
good luk
dxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Im 15/f if it helps....
when i was little my Dad moved far away and iv always had problems dealing with it but lately its been worse I havent been sleeping at all, all i ever wanna do is hide but this morning i signed onto Yahoo and there was a message from him that he will be having another kid in the spring, i dont know how to deal with it, he also says he might only have 6 years to left and i dont think i can handle this on my own i need help. (link)
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Hey there hunny okay ive bn through sumthing similar and if im being honest speaking to my dad after five years apart was at first nerve racking but then after the first couple times it was gr8. The thing thats probably keepin you awake is the fact that you r worried about hurting your mum if you c him again. I think what you need to do is speak it over with your mum and then you will feel better about this. The thing about the kid dnt look at it as a bad thing look at it as you will hav a new brother or sister. My dad had a baby wen I wasnt talking to him I missed out on those years with my siblings and it hurt like hell. Dont make the same mistake. But then again everyone is different if you dont think your ready then dont force yourself. Take it slowly even meet up once and see how it feels and after that u will know how you feel.
Hope I helped and that it all works out!!
Good Luck!!
dxxxxxxxxx
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okay, long story kindof short..me and my ex have been off and on for the past 3 years, and on the 3rd year he told me he loved me and thats when i relized i had loved him too but i think i alawys did..and when we finally called ourself a "couple" instead of just dating everything went sour..3 years of just dating of somesort but we werent with other people but when we labled ourselfs a couple..we broke up a month later. and we havent talked for like 9 months and im still in love with him. we did everything togher. serioulsy, every day during summer we would talk on the phone for litterly 5 hrs and just fall asleep. i miss him and i miss everything about him, no matter how many fights we had. i want to know what i should do, all my friends hate him but i cant help how i feel :/ what do i do.. (link)
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Firstly sorry about what happened,
I think what you shud do is find out if hes with someone still and if nt then ask him out to lunch and tell him its just as friends then over the course of the night if you feel comfortable enough then tell him how you feel and if you dnt then at least your friends again and you never no you may work up to aomething more!!
on the friends front theyre nt the ones that have to kiss him or the ones who hav to b in a relationship with him so its your choice not theirs!!
good luk !!
hope i helped!!
dxxxxxxx
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Male, 25
My girlfriend keeps trying to push me into sexual things I'm not comfortable with. When I say no, she asks what kind of guy I am and such.
How do I get her to respect my decisions and not end up fighting as a result about it? (link)
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hey there okay i think what you should do is sit her down and explain whats wrong but if she wont listen then what you hav to do is sit down and wonder is she really worth it if she cant respect your boundaries??
good luk and i hope it all works out!!
dxxxxxxxx
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okay this isnt a specific dream but every once in a while i have a dream of one of my family members die. so far my brother and his bestfriend (which is like a bother to me) have died along with my sister and my dad, but my mom and other brother and my grandma havent died yet. does anybody know what this means.is dream because i hate them but i dont know that i do. (link)
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when you dream of someone dying iy=t is supposed to mean a long life for them so i wouldnt worry!!
hope i helped and i hope the dreams get less scary!!
dxxxxxxxxx
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what if you ask someone out and he said something mean back would you still go for it. (link)
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no if they said something mean they dont deserve you so NO is what my answer is !!
sorry if i was cheeky!!
good luk!!
hope i helped and i hope things get better!!
dxxxxxxxx
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My two best friends are fighting and i'm in the middle of it. They want me to choose sides. What should I do? (link)
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hey there okay ive bn in this situation b4 and what i suggest you do is sit them both down and tell them if they dnt sort it out then nt only will they lose each others friendships but yours also and freeze them out for a few days if they persist and show them how it feels to b without u!!
this may seem silly but trust me it works!!
good luk!!
hope i helped!!
dxxxxxxxxx
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19/f
My boyfriend doesn't even care about me anymore. I feel like our relationship has run it's course, even though I want it to keep going. I want him to care about me again. How do I get him to care about me again? Or is this just over?
Other people have their ways of coping: Getting back and getting revenge, like seeing other people to make your partner jealous. A lot of people doing things to get attention, which is usually self-destructive, like drugs, drinking or being promiscuous. I don't want to do those things because I'm not stupid. Those aren't even the right things to do and will only drive him away.
I'm going back to college soon and I thought that'd be reason enough for him to see me more, like he should see me as much as he can before I leave.. but sometimes I feel like he'll be glad to get rid of me.
He makes me all these promises that he can't keep. It's funny because HE is the one who offers to see me on his day off, then ends up canceling after I had been waiting for him for three hours. This keeps happening, and stupid me, I always think he's gonna pull through. When we DO see each other, it's like he only does it so I'll shut up.
Every time I call and confront him about this, I pour my heart out and end up getting yelled at. He says, "This is exactly the reason why I don't want to see you. All you do is whine and nag." I feel like he doesn't try to listen. I DO understand that he's tired, but then again, HE is the one who proposes that we go out in the first place and ends up standing me up for one reason or another.
Am I wrong? Is he wrong? I don't even know what to do anymore. All I've learned is that I gave and gave and gave and got spat on in return. It's like I went against the world to be with this guy and ended up with nothing. I feel like banning relationships for a loooong time. (link)
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Hey honey ,
youve confronted him and hes nt even tried to explain!! it could b that hes gonna miss you so he feels that he should put some space between you but somethin tell me this isnt the case if im being honest you answered your own question you wait after he makes plans then cancels them wen youv already bn waitin three hours ask yourself would you do that for anyone else?? i dnt think you would so what i suggest is tell him its not workin for you like this and ask does he feel the same!! if he answers you then go with your instincts and if he gives his usual answer say goodbye to him i no its hard but in this case its what needs to b done!!
p.s dnt give up there is the right guy out there for you who will wait hours to c YOU and nt the other way around and who will feel bad if he has you wait three seconds!!
good luk for the future!!
sorry its long!!
hope i helped!!
dxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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my mom grounded me for having sex...im 16...wtf...i can do what i want, im almost an adult...sex doesnt have to be about love...how can i make my mom get me out of the house, i want to continue having sex and doing fun shit while i still can...*jer* (link)
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shes just worried in her eyes youll always b her little girl no judgement from me i know people who hav sex for fun and it works for them but you should speak to your mum just tell her you need her trust and ask her how you can show her that you are mature enough to do what you r doing !!
good luk !!
hope i helped!!
dxxxxxxxxxxx
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16/f
I haven't had a period for about 4 months now. I do notice that around the time I AM supposed to be having it, there's a tiny bit of thick dark brown stuff for about 2 days.I haven't even had the normal cramping and stuff i usually get around the time of my period. There has been no changes in my diet, there hasn't been any big changes in my life to cause stress, and I haven't had sex, so I really don't know whats up. I would go see a doctor, but my mom is a nurse and says it's normal to have irregular periods like this. Despite what she said, I still feel kind of worried. If it means anything I've been having normal periods for 2 years until 4 months ago and I remember the last "normal" period I had was abnormally short (2-3 days). So is this normal or should I really consider seeing a doctor? (link)
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okay you neednt worry periods are known to last between 2-8 days and the fact that its nt that heavy is probably nothing however i would explain to your mum that you value her opinion as a nurse however you would like to c your doctor for your own peace of mind in this situation!!
Since you havent had sex i wouldnt worry but i hope all is well and if you hav any more problems feel free to ask!!
hope i helped !!
gd luk!!
dxxxxxxxxxxx
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Okay, I'm 15/F and he's 17/M. I met him through some friends at a basketball game in February, and although I've had a few boyfriends since then, a small part of me has always had a thing for him. He's really flirtatious, and I can tell he likes me. I even ran into him at a party, where he was drunk, and he told me how he felt about everything.. Saying he likes me a lot but I had a boyfriend at the time. Anyways, now, it's summertime, we're both single, and he's moving to Texas in August (we live in Indiana). We talk a lot right now, and we're actually really close. I like him a lot, but I don't want to get too involved with him, since he's moving in a month.
What do I do? (link)
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hey there okay why dnt you spend as much time as you can with him just now before he leaves then in August when he leaves make sure you get his phone number and adress and you can try the long distance thing people say it doesnt work but those r the people who dnt hav the patience to try. if you hav the internet then you can both get a cam and speak over that until your seen as old enough in the eyes of the law to travel and visit him on your own and hey i hope it does work but if it doesnt at least you hav a gd friend that you can go visit from time to time!!
hope ive helped and im sorry about how crap your situation is!!
good luk!!
dxxxxxxxxxx
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Sorry this might be long.
Ok so im 17 years old and my boyfriend is 20 years old. I tried to tell my parents about him before and they didnt approve and told me to break up with him. I told my parents i broke up with him but we continued dating because we both had strong feeling for eachother. I have now become the longest relationship for him and the first person hes said 'i love you' too. I have tried to talk to my mom about having him come over to dinner so she could get to know him but she wasnt having that. My mom says its because hes 20 years old but i know it has something to do with her not trusting anything i do. Im 17 and still a virgin, never smoked anything, never had a drop of alcohol, and clean from drugs. She has no reason not to trust me so it really frustrates me that she doesnt trust me. So i kind of want to know if theres anything i can do to help her understand how i feel about him and how it hurts me to deny that i am dating him. And also if i can get her to understand that she can trust me. Thank you in advance to anyone who takes the time to help me. (link)
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Parents!! huh? lol
This is a tricky situation for any girl, I think what I would do in this case would be try and talk to her maybe arrange for a gilie night in / out and start to tell her what youve written that u havent had sex, drank or smoked and if she listens to this tell her you understand that she may not trust the age difference but that he has bn a gentleman and hasnt tried to get you to do anything you dont want to. Then tell her that you understand shes probably worried incase he does take you down the wrong track however if she would just meet with him and give him a trial then she may see how much of a gr8 guy he is. Now she may still not agree and if she doesn't tell her you understand and then try every once in a while to convince her. If you start arguing - not saying you will - but this will only make her see you as a child as opposed to the young mature woman you are ,so try and I know hard it is not to argue and trust me it will go a whole lot better!!
Good luck hope I helped and I really do wish you and your boyfriend all the luck and happiness.
dxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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14/F
i just read in a magazine that your supposed to accuntuate your best featire. and i think mines my waist. ive got a mdeium-big butt, and otherwise im flat.
what are some outfits to accentuate that? or that are right for my body type?
thanx! (link)
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Hey there I would probably say a basque or those jackets that stop at the waist that way it will put more emphasis on your waist.
Tight jeans you know like hipsters or skinny jeans these will defo do the job!!
At that of course baggy hipsters would also work on some occasions.
You could also try some of those summer dresses that pull in at the waist.
Sorry Im not much help but I hope I did help even if just a little!!
Good luck.
dxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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I found a condom in my boyfriends dresser. It has an expiration date of 2010. We have been together for 2 1/2 years and do not use them. My question is this: Did he just get the condom or could the expiration date be good for 5 years or more? (link)
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I think its probably just bn there for a few years trust me I found one a couple years back and it had been lying there for like ten years and only just expired!! He probably got them for his previous gf and just forgot that he'd put them in his dresser lol. guys huh??
Hope I Helped and I hope you guys last !!
Dont worry and good luck!!
dxxxxxxxxxxxx
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