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How do i get him to care
19/f
My boyfriend doesn't even care about me anymore. I feel like our relationship has run it's course, even though I want it to keep going. I want him to care about me again. How do I get him to care about me again? Or is this just over?
Other people have their ways of coping: Getting back and getting revenge, like seeing other people to make your partner jealous. A lot of people doing things to get attention, which is usually self-destructive, like drugs, drinking or being promiscuous. I don't want to do those things because I'm not stupid. Those aren't even the right things to do and will only drive him away.
I'm going back to college soon and I thought that'd be reason enough for him to see me more, like he should see me as much as he can before I leave.. but sometimes I feel like he'll be glad to get rid of me.
He makes me all these promises that he can't keep. It's funny because HE is the one who offers to see me on his day off, then ends up canceling after I had been waiting for him for three hours. This keeps happening, and stupid me, I always think he's gonna pull through. When we DO see each other, it's like he only does it so I'll shut up.
Every time I call and confront him about this, I pour my heart out and end up getting yelled at. He says, "This is exactly the reason why I don't want to see you. All you do is whine and nag." I feel like he doesn't try to listen. I DO understand that he's tired, but then again, HE is the one who proposes that we go out in the first place and ends up standing me up for one reason or another.
Am I wrong? Is he wrong? I don't even know what to do anymore. All I've learned is that I gave and gave and gave and got spat on in return. It's like I went against the world to be with this guy and ended up with nothing. I feel like banning relationships for a loooong time.
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I'm pretty much going to say what everyone else has said (I think).
Guys like to act like something they're not. When you date a guy, unless you've known them for a long time (which I feel is the best way for you girls) you will be dating a mask. Only after half a year or so will that mask slowly fade out revealing someone a lot lower then you expected.
Who you are with now, is a guy, who clearly isn't in love with you and doesn't care anymore, this is who he is. He doesn't want you as a girlfriend anymore, a relationship to him is too much effort. Unfortunately for you, you get to see through this, and you see a guy who you want to be with - you see what he used to be like, you see his pro's and not his con's, but when you step back and look at it, he's just a guy, nothing too special, treats you nice at times but overall he hurts you and stands you up, and even an average guy could treat you better than that. You don't want to be with him, you want to be with the mask he once wore, but it won't come back again. The reason he is avoiding the questions etc etc, is because I think he is too much of a coward to tell you he doesn't care anymore, he will use you going to college as an excuse to say he isn't your boyfriend anymore. You should get him back hard, and a couple weeks before you go to college, break up with him before he breaks up with you, because you don't deserve him being so selfish.
You will find better guys believe me, but try and get to know them first for a few months before you make commitments to them... and as soon as you start to see them getting lame - remember what I said, it's their mask slipping off, it's when you start seeing who they truly are. If a guy is in love with you, then you will always see the best of them come out.
I hope this helps guide you in the future, =]
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Wow... This feeling sounds really familiar. His name isn't Matt, is it? God... I hope not.
Listen, hon'... I can guess at his reasons... But I'm not going to because it really isn't important. What IS important is that he's making you feel crap and that just won't do. Sure... I don't know you... But I am thoroughly convinced that whoever you are you deserve a lot better than what this guy is giving you. I am also thoroughly convinced that there are plenty of guys out there that would make better boyfriends than this guy... And you'd be able to find them if you would just dump your current boyfriend.
I know that isn't what you want to hear and really... I am so sorry. I know how hard it is to face this (trust me) and I know how hurt you must be feeling. But you can't make someone that doesn't care about you anymore care... And you'd be far better off cutting him loose and finding someone else. Someone that does care.
Read, 'He's Just Not That Into You,' by Greg and Liz. This book is your dating bible. Read it, live it, love it. I promise that it will totally pay off in the long run. I've been there, I've done that, I own the t-shirt in ten different colors... And I finally found a man that loves me with all his heart that I love in return. Trust me. It's going to be okay.
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I really think its time for you
to move on. I hate to say that
but you've put in a lot of effort
and gotten nowhere. Promises don't
mean a thing if you don't back
them up with action.
It will take some time, but you
have a whole college full of guys
to help you get over this one. I
know that makes it sound so simple
and you will have some bad days.
I really don't see a future for
you with this guy, and thats what
its really all about.
Good luck. :)
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Hey honey ,
youve confronted him and hes nt even tried to explain!! it could b that hes gonna miss you so he feels that he should put some space between you but somethin tell me this isnt the case if im being honest you answered your own question you wait after he makes plans then cancels them wen youv already bn waitin three hours ask yourself would you do that for anyone else?? i dnt think you would so what i suggest is tell him its not workin for you like this and ask does he feel the same!! if he answers you then go with your instincts and if he gives his usual answer say goodbye to him i no its hard but in this case its what needs to b done!!
p.s dnt give up there is the right guy out there for you who will wait hours to c YOU and nt the other way around and who will feel bad if he has you wait three seconds!!
good luk for the future!!
sorry its long!!
hope i helped!!
dxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Well, I wouldn't say he doesn't care about you until you actually talk to him. So, for that I say you talk to him about his feeling and if he feels the same way. Or our his feelings fading away. I think that you shouldn't get back with revenge. It's really stupid, because like you said, you're only drive him away. I think that he is wrong. If he's making plans and then canceling, I think that you deserve atleast and explanation other than you nagging and whining. You should talk to him and ask him what's wrong. And tell him how you feel about the whole thing. Tell him that you've gave up a lot and that you don't deserve to be ignored like that. And if he continues like that, I say you dump him. Because you deserve someone to care for you. But don't ban relationships for a long time, just give yourself enough time until you're ready.
Hoped I Helped & Good Luck!
-LiTTLEGiRLBLUE
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