Hello, call me Abby =] I'm eighteen and a senior in high school this year. I've always had great advice, I'm just not so great at following it =P Feel free to ask me anything, I'll do my best to give you an answer.
Gender: Female
Age: 18
Member Since: February 10, 2007
Answers: 962
Last Update: May 3, 2012
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hello, right now it's already midnight in my country. Sorry for my English if i am mistake. Almost on year ago my father died and i have to take care of my younger sister and younger brother. My mom did not live us right now. At first even though it's really difficult to handle this situation. Because one year ago my family is very big and i did not worried anything such as my family's expense, revenue, even i didn't worried my college tuition. But since this, only 3 of us live in a home and sometimes it's really lonely. But i want to grow my younger sister and brother well and be disciplined.
but right now i have a problem with my younger sister and brother. The sister is 10years old and brother is 12. They just become teen. And it's really hard to communicate them sometimes. Because they are really shy and always ask me when doing something. It's like permission. But want to grow them confident, brave, and intellegent people. THIS NIGHT I tell of my younger sister, even i hit her. I really regret it because they'are my life's meaning. If i had not my younger sister and brother i have no intention to live. i have to love them a lot instead of my father.
this night i become really angry and cant stop my anger. i think i just too worried everything. i have to work all day. i am 21 year old. Maybe it's too young to take care children.it's because of just my life's everything is suddenly changed.
and i dont have any person to tell my problem. I am afraid to tell my relative that hit my younger sister.
so please give a advice for how to communicate my younger sister and brother. Also give some advise about stay calm and some inspirational advice for life. I really want to your advice.
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Hi there,
First off, thank you for being so strong and responsible. Most people would not be up to the challenge of raising kids at 21.
My best advice is to take it one day at a time. Realize that you are doing the best you can, and don't beat yourself up over it.
Your siblings are probably afraid and unsure of what to do now that they don't have their parents around, so they look to you for advice. Do your best to lead them, but don't tell them what to do in every situation. Give them their options and have them make the choice. Stay involved in their lives, their school work, and their friends. Ask their opinions and thoughts, and let them know that they are unique and important. Learn what their goals are, and help them know the steps to acheive it.
Try to find a support system. Do you have no extended family that you can rely on? Anyone that can take the kids for a few hours each week so they can spend time with other family and you can relax? If not, maybe you can join a support group. There may be counseling at a local religious center (not sure if you have a religion) that you can attend for free. Find a friend that you can talk to, just to vent and let out your feelings. Keep a journal. Don't bottle anything up!
I think you are caring, and you have the right idea and are mature enough to do this. Just keep trying, and don't give up hope. Things will get easier over time. I have faith in you. If you ever want to talk, I'm here just to listen so drop me an email.
Good luck,
-Abby
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after senior year of high school, my friendship with my best friend really fell apart. i got annoyed with her easily, with things she did, & she wouldn't apologize for it either. even though she knew i was upset. she was always kind of like that though, very selfish.
anyway, i got really mad at her this last time, and i told her we shouldn't hang out. well 4 days later, she did the same thing, didn't text me, and then posted on my facebook with a joke. she always does this.
should i forgive her AGAIN or just stop talking to her? she will be gone in a month for college..
btw, can't talk to her, she just won't respond, and then just a few days later talk like nothing happened (link)
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I would confront her and tell her that you don't like being in arguments with her, and it's immature that you two ignore each other instead of resolving the problem. Tell her if she wants to keep the friendship, that she is going to have to put in some effort and communicate.
Once she goes off to college, it won't be so difficult since you will only be talking every once in a while to stay in touch, and not being annoyed with each other every day.
Good luck,
-Abby
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one of my closest friends (and my favourite ex) had a mental breakdown recently. he was hearing things, extremely paranoid, even tried to attack his brother. my first thought was "schitzophrenia". the breakdown was induced by legal incense, or fake weed. (fweed, as my friends call it.) apparently, he took one hit and thought he was losing his mind. this is when the voices and paranoia started. and even after he came down from his high, he didn't get any better. i went to his house last night and saw him for the first time in awhile and his mother grabbed me aside and told me that a witch is terrorizing him. now, i believe in witches and demons, but that is NOT what is wrong with my friend. he is extremely ill. his family is keeping him cooped up in the house and won't let him leave for more than an hour at a time. his mom is brainwashing him with this bewitching bullshit and its just making him more and more sick. i don't know what to do. i had a thought that i could call the cops, but what would i say? i care about him a lot. and i would never dream of betraying him, but he needs more help than his family can provide for. (link)
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Is he a minor? You could call social services and say his parents are neglecting to give him medical care.
Even if he isn't a minor, if you think he is being endangered by his family you should report it.
Good luck,
-Abby
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Hi
Okay so my ex and I have reopened the lines of communication and text each other every evening. (he dumped me btw)
Yesterday though he asked me whether I was good at cooking anything so I told him and he was intruiged
Then he said he liked to bake and said if I ever needed anything baking at all to let him know.
What does he want? :/ (link)
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He was probably just looking for something to talk to you about. Maybe he was thinking about a cute date where you could cook and he could bake something and you could share the meal?
If he makes the effort to text you, then he definitely has an interest in you. Whether he just wants to be friends, friends with benefits, or re-open the relationship, you will have to find out.
Good luck,
-Abby
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Does drinking too much water cause you to gain weight? Im 5"4 & I'm usually between 104-106 lbs & I drink like 70 ounces of water a day because I'm currently in preseason for a sport. My weight also fluctuates a lot & I don't know why (link)
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Water has zero calories, so it won't cause you to gain weight.
However, there is a such thing as water weight, which is what it sounds like. Having a lot of water in your system can make the number on the scale go up, but only temporarily.
Eating foods that are bad for you (especially salty foods) can make you retain water and look bloated, so stay away from those!
Since you are exercising a lot, you need the water to stay hydrated, so don't worry about it and drink all the water you need.
Good luck,
-Abby
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I need to ask, is the world going to end in 2012? (link)
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People have been 'predicting' the world's end for years. Remember Y2K? Maybe you weren't alive then, but in 1999 a lot of people thought the world would end then because our computers weren't programmed to change to 2000. Well, not only did the world NOT end, technology has advanced enormously. We went from chunky desktop computers with dial up internet to wifi and I-pads.
The world was actually supposed to end a few months ago, as said by some conspiracy theory christians. We're still here.
So I would not worry about it.
-Abby
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I start college in 2 days and I've been doing a lot of thinking.. I really want to change my attitude. High school wasn't great for me because I am really shy and I didn't have many friends. I really want to change that for college. I'll be a freshman in college and I am a little nervous but kind of excited too. How do I change from being the shy girl to becoming more outgoing and meeting new people and making new friends? I have difficulty starting a conversation with strangers, and I also have difficulty becoming friends with someone. It just seems awkward whenever I ask for their number and ask to hang out.. and if I ever do hang out with them, it just seems so awkward. Please help! (link)
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Hi there,
I'm in the same boat as go, I leave for college in a few days! I'm so nervous, but I'm also excited.
College is the perfect place to start over. All of the freshman will be looking to meet new people, so you don't have to do much to make new friends. Just smile, be friendly, and try to start talking. Compliment a girl on her shoes, or find something in common with someone. Talk to people in your classes about the assignments or the teacher or something you found funny, and go from there.
You don't have to ask for their number off the bat, since you guys will be spending time at school you can just hang out there. Then if you decide to make plans for later, just say "Give me your number and I'll text you about tonight" or something like that. Hang out in groups at first so it isn't awkward, and then you will get to know people better.
Don't be afraid to join clubs and get involved, this will get you out there to meet new people.
Just try your best, and when in doubt, smile!
Good luck,
-Abby
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i need to know how to actually aask your parents if you can go to a sleepover and get their mom to talk to my mom
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Sleepovers are lots of fun :)
I would ask your mom a couple days before the sleepover (don't spring it on her, parents like time to think) and ask her when she's in a good mood. Tell her your friend invited you to stay over, and tell her where your friend lives, and how you would really appreciate it if she let you go. Offer her the mother's phone number incase she has any questions. Then make sure you have your pick up and drop off times settled, and you should be set!
Pack up your pj's, a sleeping bag, and maybe you can bring something for you girls to do like a craft or a board game, makeup, or maybe a treat.
Have fun!
Good luck,
-Abby
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how old do you need to be to get a tragus piercing and a cartdialge piercing? ps dont tell me to google it just tell me. thanks (link)
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Depends on your state probably, but most likely you have to be 18 to get it on your own, and between 13 and 16 to get it with a guardian with you.
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So i am about to buy these shorts, and the small size is for people 116 to 130 pounds and the medium size is for people 130-155 pounds... I want to buy these pants but i have a question before i choose a size. I am 5 feet straight and 123 pounds. I plan on using these shorts to work out in. I wear my shorts below my belly button, on the area level with my hip bones. (the area all of my bottoms sit)The place wear 'hipster' jeans go. This area is 35 inches. My absolute widest area (around my thighs and caboose) is 38 inches. I would like a fit to wear they will not squeeze my stomach up creating an unattractive "muffin top", but NOT loose enough to wear they will fall off easily. Please don't ONLY consider my weight, for my shortness gives me other measurements to take into account. Thank you for your help! I just want to buy the proper size so i am completely happy with my purchase! Thank you so so so much! (link)
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Volleyball shorts are very tight, usually completely spandex and skin tight. So ordering the next size up probably won't hurt.
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How do I get my mother to speak to me?
At the end of April I couldn't take anymore silence, the way she took hundreds of pounds from me and tried to stop me going to family events. After a very bad weekend at work I found out that my mum and the rest of her family had done an easter meal without me while I did a ten hour shift on the sunday, when for the past 15 years or more (I am 20 and female).
I had been bullied at work that weekend and was literally only working to give her money as she never got food or anything for me when she went shopping despite me giving her just short of £200 a month which was more than half of my wages.
I was heartbroken and stayed at a friend's for a few days before I tried to talk to her but she just sent me nasty text messages saying everything was my fault.
While staying at my friend's I split up with my fiance and started a new relationship with someone I now used to work with. He is 34 and separated from his wife. When my mum found out she text my ex saying she was sorry our relationship ended, however she emailed me and called me a marriage wrecker as she heard from a friend that my boyfriend was still married.
After a few months my friend threw me out and my Nana is now letting me stay at her house while I get a new job and while me and my boyfriend find somewhere to live. However every time mum comes round I get asked to leave because she has no interest in building brides or having anything to do with me.
What do I do? She does not answer any form of contact that I give her and I always ask my Nan how she is when I know she has been round.
She hasn't been the best mum in the world but despite her being anti social towards me I just want her back. (link)
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Honestly, your mother sounds bitter, self absorbed, and like she wants to blame all her problems on you. It sounds like SHE has the problem, not you.
I would focus on getting your life together, get your new job and find a place to live, and be independent. Don't let your mom bring you down. Get a stable life, and then you can try to talk to your mom again.
I would seriously suggest going to therapy together. It sounds like you have tried to make things work and she isn't trying.
You can still be apart of your family and lean on other relatives for support, even if your mom is in the way.
I really hope you can work this out, and I wish you the best in acheiving your goals.
-Abby
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I'm an 18 year old girl and I've always been big on sports and staying fit, I even have a majority healthy diet. I also have a very high metabolism. This has never been a problem before but recently some comments have been made by family about my eating. One of the main comments that made me feel self-conscious was that they said that every time they see me I'm always eating. When I thought about it later, I felt bad because of our "Financial" situation and the fact that I'm unable to help because jobs in my area are scarce. What should I do? Should I really be feeling embarrassed about my large appetite? (link)
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Honestly, don't let it bother you. If you are at a healthy weight, and especially if you work out, you need the food to give you energy. Some people eat 5 meals a day to keep their metabolism and energy up. Everyone has a different appetite and preference.
I doubt you are eating your family out of house and home. If you feel bad about not being able to contribute financially, maybe you can help around the house by cleaning or cooking meals for the family.
The people who commented on you are probably just teasing, or have their own body issues. Just worry about yourself.
Good luck,
-Abby
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this isn't such a problem but im 15/F and I haven't had a proper relationship. I've been with guys and I've never been dumped I always dumped them. I keep missing chances like I'll talk to a fit guy and I used to be shy so even now I daren't ask for their number so he'd have to do it and when i don't it looks like i'm not interested. I sorta play hard to get but i'm not I just can't seem to get with anyone I like although I end up gettin chatted up by people I don't :(( (link)
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I would say just be confident, or fake it. You don't have to ask the guys for their number, but act a little flirty and play a little hard to get. Don't be desperate but hint that you might be interested. Make them feel like they would be lucky to go on a date with you.
And I get hit on by guys I'm totally not into, but I just try to smile and brush it off. At least it's flattering!
For me, I didn't have a boyfriend until I was seventeen. It took me that long to be confident in myself and be comfortable enough to open up to a boy. He made me feel very comfortable, and a special guy will do that for you one day. It's okay to have butterflies and be nervous to talk to a guy, but once you get to know each other a little better things should go naturally, or it isn't meant to be.
Good luck,
-Abby
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I was wanting to buy some a&f tops, and i bumped into this website.
It seems to good to be true, so i wsa wondering if anybody else had used it before?
The website was BRD GOODS. (link)
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The website says replica all over it, meaning the items are fake. If you wan't fake merchandise, then go for it.
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Ok I'm moving out of state with family and plan on goin to school out there but I need new everything! Bedroom furniture , laptop , clothes everything but as almost every other college student I'm broke. My question is how can I get money to pay for these things and is there a place a could pay monthly on the bedroom furniture and laptop? Thanks in advance all suggestions are welcome :) (link)
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First off, look into scholarships. All you have to do is search it on google and look around for scholarships you can request. You might have to write an essay or do a project, or some might be eligible for you because you play a sport or are a certain race.
Now, you are going to want to look into student loans. You can use these to pay tuition, for books, and for dorm supplies.
You could try to go to one of the rental places for some furniture/appliances.
http://www.aarons.com/
There's an aaron's near me and I see that they let you rent what you need to furnish your room and I'm not positive how it works, but you do make monthly payments.
Be careful though and purchase insurance on your items if available, because in college you will find that it is much easier for your stuff to get broken.
If you are going to live in a dorm room, you won't need to buy furniture, and you can save some cash by shopping frugally and getting stuff you can reuse. Some colleges offer the option of living in a triple, meaning you have two room mates instead of just the one. This lowers the cost of the room.
Picking up a part time job will help you a lot. Your school probably has a job fair, so maybe you can get a job on campus.
I'm leaving for college in about a week, so I know where you are coming from! But just try to be responsible and do the best you can.
Good luck,
-Abby
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I have been sexually active for about six years now. 2yrs into my sex life, I learned to climax with a vibrator. When I climax,I have to have my legs out straight and clench my whole body. I've never been with a man who has a penis to brag about, but last night, things got heated between me and a new guy and we ended up having sex. I have never seen a penis as large as his in my life, not even in porn. My Gspot was definitely stimulated, but I was not able to climax. Does anyone have advice on how to climax during sex? (I am a woman.) I feel like I now have 'the right tools' but I wasn't able to. (link)
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I would say use your experience with the vibrator to help. Guide the guy to do what your vibrator does that gets you to climax. Have him touch the areas that really get you going, and tell him how hard/fast/gentle/slow you want it. It may be weird to 'instruct' the guy, but if you do it with a sexy voice and sound commanding, he will probably find it really hot. Or you can use your hands to guide his, or say something like "It feels so good when you touch me like this..."
Be creative, and don't be afraid to try new things either.
Good luck,
-Abby
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Me and my girlfriend have been dating a while now and we both want a fresh start somewhere new. We want to move to somewhere pretty cheap but nice too like costa rica or hawaii or brazil. somewhere warm with a beach. I was just wondering if anyone has any suggestions for people moving to a brand new place with no job or living situation set up yet? thank you so much! (link)
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I'm going to rule out Hawaii for you, because the cost of living is astronomical and it's hard to get a job there.
Brazil is cheaper, but depending on where you live it can be very dangerous. There is also a language barrier.
Perhaps you could consider Puerto Rico? It's US Territory so you will still be under US law basically and protected by them.
When I went to stay at a Club Med resort, the employees were telling me how they get to stay on beautiful islands and transfer to many different places, while working.
My best advice is don't go anywhere without jobs, you will just end up back where you are, but more poor.
Good luck,
-Abby
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Both 13...theres this guy.. ha, typical right? well he told me he was going to ask me out but he wanted it to be perfect... he then flirted with my bestfriend. They were staying stuff like they wanted to go somewhere romanticc and that shit. Well i confronted him and he was so upset and we made up and all and everything was good... so i had my other bestfriend hit on him after a little bit he starting flirting back.. i KNOW this is horrible but i still like him and he still likes me and i dont know what to do.. i know if i became his girlfriend he'd be faithful (he never TOTALLY cheats)but i still dont trust him. (link)
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I hope things go well for you, but I hope you can listen to my previous advice just a little bit. I'm 18 and I've been there and done that, and I can tell when a guy is trying to sweet talk you and when a guy is being sincere. You don't often find serious, committed 13 year olds.
If he flirts with your bff, thats a bad sign.
I'm just saying this because I don't want you to get hurt.
Best of luck to you,
-Abby
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17/f
I thought I put one in today but when I went to take it out, there was nothing there. I was in a rush this morning so I could have just not put one in, figuring I was done with my period. I layed in the bathtub for a half hour and then pushed for a bit. Then I put my index finger in as far as I could go and I'm pretty sure I felt my cervix. It was a little painful because I'm really tight and dry, but I'm pretty convinced that I just didn't put a tampon in. I could not feel anything at all and I sort of moved my finger around and still felt nothing. I'm just a little nervous and need a second opinion. Thanks! (link)
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I'm assuming you just forgot to put one in. It can't 'disappear', there is no where for it to go. If you looked for it and didn't fine anything, then you are fine.
Good luck,
-Abby
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15/f what are some common things around the house i could use to masturbate. Anything vibrating or long and hard. (link)
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First off, I don't reccommend this. If it has been around the house it has probably been used for something else, like by another person or for cleaning, and has bacteria on it. You do not want to put that into your vagina.
All I can think of its a vibrating tooth brush, or some smart phones have apps that use different vibrating settings to press up against your vagina.
Is your shower head the type that can be hand held? You can use that.
Honestly you can get a cheap vibrator for around $20 at like Spencers, so maybe you should just save for that.
Good luck,
-Abby
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