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My Mum has cut me out of her life. What can I do?
How do I get my mother to speak to me?
At the end of April I couldn't take anymore silence, the way she took hundreds of pounds from me and tried to stop me going to family events. After a very bad weekend at work I found out that my mum and the rest of her family had done an easter meal without me while I did a ten hour shift on the sunday, when for the past 15 years or more (I am 20 and female).
I had been bullied at work that weekend and was literally only working to give her money as she never got food or anything for me when she went shopping despite me giving her just short of £200 a month which was more than half of my wages.
I was heartbroken and stayed at a friend's for a few days before I tried to talk to her but she just sent me nasty text messages saying everything was my fault.
While staying at my friend's I split up with my fiance and started a new relationship with someone I now used to work with. He is 34 and separated from his wife. When my mum found out she text my ex saying she was sorry our relationship ended, however she emailed me and called me a marriage wrecker as she heard from a friend that my boyfriend was still married.
After a few months my friend threw me out and my Nana is now letting me stay at her house while I get a new job and while me and my boyfriend find somewhere to live. However every time mum comes round I get asked to leave because she has no interest in building brides or having anything to do with me.
What do I do? She does not answer any form of contact that I give her and I always ask my Nan how she is when I know she has been round.
She hasn't been the best mum in the world but despite her being anti social towards me I just want her back.
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Honestly, your mother sounds bitter, self absorbed, and like she wants to blame all her problems on you. It sounds like SHE has the problem, not you.
I would focus on getting your life together, get your new job and find a place to live, and be independent. Don't let your mom bring you down. Get a stable life, and then you can try to talk to your mom again.
I would seriously suggest going to therapy together. It sounds like you have tried to make things work and she isn't trying.
You can still be apart of your family and lean on other relatives for support, even if your mom is in the way.
I really hope you can work this out, and I wish you the best in acheiving your goals.
-Abby
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Have you tried to confront your mother about how you feel? Write her a letter even?
If your mother chooses to ignore you then as hard as it may be somewhere down the line you will need to come to terms with it. You are old enough to be independent and if your mother chooses to not have anything to do with you then I promise you it's her loss. It was wrong of your mother too take money from you and spend it on herself but at least you know now not to do it again.
I lost touch with my father 2 years ago, It wasn't exactly the same situation but it is in the aspect of he just simply won't talk too me. I complained to my mother for awhile and expressed how I wish I could have him in my life but my mothers saying "Sometimes we need to except and move on and the only person you should depend on the most is nobody but yourself" It's true and as hard as it was I learned in time that she was right.
Your grandmother is probably still in contact with your mother because she hasn't or doesn't want to accept the truth. However, If your mother tries to contact you then you can choose to ignore any calls or text messages from her. If she is going to continue to put you down then you could confront her and say "As long as you keep putting me down I do not wish to be in contact with you" You need to believe and depend on yourself, If you can't seem to accept it on your own counseling always helps.
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