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Ok so I'm Gracie and I'm 13 and this august I'll be starting 10th grade and I'll be taking advanced classes. I'm kinda not looking forward to it. I mean, the work isn't easy but it's not hard either so that's not the problem it's just that I don't like being the smallest and youngest kid in my classes. Is there a way for me to go back a grade so I can be in classes with kids closer to my age and still get some advance work? My dad doesn't want me to go back a few grades. He doesn't think it's a good enough reason and he says I should take classes that are more challenging so is there a way that I can go back a grade without his permission? I mean, I'm the one taking the classes not him, right?
Wow, I remember refusing the option to skip one grade because I didn't want to be with people one year older than me. So I definitely know how you feel. It will be nice to skip those years of classwork, especially if you are already above those levels intellectually. Still, there are aspects of high school other than classwork, and jumping ahead can make you miss out on some things. Maybe try that argument on your dad. Once you finish high school you will be pushed out into the world with other students who are considered legal adults (age 18 or close to it) while you are still 15 or 16. You can't even have a driver's license at 15. It may make things hard for you socially, especially if your classmates are taller and more developed than you, or you can't find good friends who can look past age and appearance. Also, I was constantly developing on an emotional level throughout high school, and I can't imagine where I would be now if I had spent even one less year there. A shortened education isn't everything, and I can understand why you're nervous.
There probably isn't a way to override your dad at your age if he's set on this, but if you talk to school counselors and teachers, they can help work out a compromise. If you tell them you how unhappy you are with the idea, it's possible they can talk your dad into bumping you down a grade. They may also be able to connect you with other students in your situation, or help you make friends in your current classes. Being a gifted student can be awkward, what with your maturity not in synch most people, but talking to and spending time with other gifted students could help you find people you fit with.
Also, it depends on where you live, but in some places you can take classes at the high school without actually skipping grades. I was in 8th grade when I was 13... have you already skipped some grades or will this be your first time? Anyway, at the middle school I went to, there were a lot of students who walked to the high school next door for math classes. They still had lunch, recess, and some classes in middle school, but they also took high school classes. Obviously, this isn't an option at every school.
In some places you can also get dual enrollment in both grade school and college. You can earn a mix of high school and college credit, depending on the program. Look into it and see if something might work for you. Your school counselor and teachers can help with this, too. They may even know of a good program they can refer you to.
High school can be tough and skipping grades can make it even tougher, but so long as you speak up for yourself when you aren't satisfied and seek ways to make the transition easier, I think you'll do fine. I wish you the best of luck, whatever grade you end up in!
16/F
I finally got a great boyfriend! He's so nice, he talks to me when he can, and he even came out to eat with me for my birthday. I was so happy that I cried when I met him because he was just so perfect. At first. Now I'm kind of confused because we don't cuddle as much and whenever he even just hugs me or holds my hand, his face turns a bright red and he looks extremely uncomfortable so I feel kind of hurt... And when we talk, he acts like he's not all that interested in the conversation or he's just way too nervous to talk. I mean, he says he loves me all the time and I say it back, but I don't know if he means it and I don't know if I mean it because... I dunno if it's weird, but I don't know what love is exactly. Romantic love anyway and when I asked my mom about it, she just said she feels sorry for my boyfriend that he has to date a heartless person like me, so I was like whaaat? I mean, I guess there's just not enough passion in this relationship? I'm not talking about sex, I mean, the least he can do is kiss me back like he means it? He just pecks me on the lips real quick, then takes off looking all nervous and relieved that it was over... What do I do about this whole situation? I mean, we've been dating for almost four months now...
If he blushes that brightly when you kiss or touch him, he obviously isn't indifferent toward you. You might be his first serious girlfriend, or he may not be used to contact with girls in general. When people aren't used to physical contact or expressing their feelings, it makes them uncomfortable to do so. Talk about this with him, and try to be understanding about it. He obviously cares about you; don't let his nervousness/shyness fool you into thinking he's losing his feelings for you.
As for knowing what love is...you're 16! It would be pretty shocking if you had love figured out by now. But this is the age where you start to figure it out, through experience. :) Don't analyze things so much and don't worry about being unsure. Nobody is sure of much at the age of 16 and the two of you are still trying to figure out who you are.
Really, like I said before, the best thing you can do is talk to him about it. Don't be accusing or judging; just tell him that you aren't sure what to make of his actions and it's making you insecure. Once you both discuss what's making him uncomfortable, you can begin move past it. Good luck!
If school is about learning then why do you have fun?
Who says learning can never be fun, or that fun can never involve learning? Did you ever watch Bill Nye the Science Guy or do those activities where you do fun experiments and learn at the same time? I was blessed to have some awesome teachers growing up. In fourth grade, we made robots out of legos. Robots. out. of. legos. And in my high school chemistry class, we crushed Peeps marshmallows in pressurized chambers and made weirdly colored sparks and flames with shavings of different elements. We also made things explode a lot in that class (usually on purpose).
If a student is actually interested in a subject and enjoys class at least some of the time, they are going to do so much better than a student who doesn't care and hates school. It's common sense really, but budget problems and crappy teachers often result in boring classes. But just because some classes suck doesn't mean they all do.
I have just been feeling disconnected, alone, frustrated, and hopeless lately. I feel like I can not do anything right. I feel like no one cares about me. When I talk to my friends and they say that I am just being too emotional or too dramatic. I just feel that way and I feel like no one understands. I just want to disappear most days. I have also been thinking about cutting again. It just makes me feel less bad. I just do not know what to do. What should I do?
That sounds like depression to me, and dismissing it as being 'too emotional or too dramatic' is not right and not fair of your friends. Depression is a serious and very real illness, and the longer you leave it untreated, the worse it could get. Unfortunately, most people don't realize that, or don't believe it. But I've had depression on and off for at least six years now, and getting help was one of the smartest things I ever did.
One thing you can do is talk to your school counselor. School counselors aren't always mental health experts, but if you explain clearly how you are feeling, they should be able to help you. At the very least, they will be an ally within the school who can help you when things are getting to be too much. Your school counselor is also probably your easiest way to get your parents involved. (Note that school counselors are 'mandatory reporters' so if you tell them you have hurt yourself or plan to hurt yourself, they have to tell your parents. Self-harm isn't something you should struggle with alone, but if you aren't ready for them to know, don't tell your counselor yet.)
Yes, getting the parents involved is horribly awkward and it's probably the last thing you want to do. But, even if you feel like your parents wont understand, this is something you need to share with them. They need to know that you are depressed, at least. My parents didn't know until things got terribly serious, and waiting so long to get them involved only made a much bigger mess when they finally found out.
After you've talked to your school counselor and your parents, you need to make an appointment with a therapist. This is one big reason why your parents need to be involved. They should make the calls, drive you to the office, and pay the cost of the sessions. If you don't like your therapist, don't stay with them! Switch! So many people say they hate therapy and it's useless, but usually it's because the person they're seeing is an idiot. Find someone you feel comfortable with; don't just settle for someone that doesn't feel right. Things will go so much better for you once you are seeing a professional. They are trained to help and they will give you a safe place to unburden yourself when you feel like holding in your thoughts will make you explode. With most therapists, everything you talk about is confidential so long as it does not involve an immediate threat of you harming yourself or others. Not even your parents will know what you discuss, unless you want them to. And it depends on the therapist, but the ones I've seen did not share what I said about self-harm with my parents, so long as I didn't say something like, "I am going to cut myself tonight."
These steps are the ideal course of action for you. So long as all these adults are halfway intelligent and compassionate, you will get the help you need and things will go a lot better for you. I'm not going to lie; sometimes these people fail. (I know my parents sometimes got mad at me and upset me for stupid things, but they still did their best and supported me in so many ways.) Even if one person fails you, there are others who can still help. Don't let one bad egg spoil everything for you. Right now, you seem to be at a crucial point where things aren't unbearable yet, but they're getting worse. Depression can go away over time, but it's also very likely to stick around and make you suffer before it does. And studies have shown that the longer depression goes untreated, the more likely it is to come back.
If you get into therapy and still feel like you aren't getting better, you can try medication. It seems scary and you may be afraid you'll become dependent on them, but medicine isn't something to avoid when you need it. I've tried a lot of different medications, and although some have had some odd side effects, I found one that works for me and it has done miracles. Also, it wont turn you into a zombie or just make you happy all the time. Some people have those side effects with certain medications, but if that happens to you just try something else. I am not happy all the time and I am not a zombie. I feel normal, and it's pretty amazing.
If things ever feel overwhelming, you can always go to IMAlive.org. It's a free online crisis center where you can talk to a trained volunteer about suicidal thoughts, desire to self-harm, or any sort of crisis in your life. I've never used it myself, but the people running the site are compassionate and dedicated to what they do. They can help if you're not sure who to turn to.
As for your thoughts about cutting, try your best not to do it. Even if it seem like a small problem now, it can get out of control before you realize it. Once you get in the habit, it's hard to get out of it. And even if you break the habit, it can stick with you for the rest of your life, threatening to come back whenever you get stressed. But if you do give in and hurt yourself, it's not the end of the world. No one is perfect and quitting self-harm can be very difficult. Do your best, and don't be afraid to ask for help when the urge is strong. Also, this website hasn't been updated in a while, but it has some good basic information about self-harm if you want to know more about why people do it and how to quit:
http://www.palace.net/~llama/selfinjury/
Here is another website for getting help with self-harm:
http://www.recoveryourlife.com/
They have a support forum and some good tips on how to beat the urges.
Also, try making yourself a 'distraction box' for when you feel really upset or want to hurt yourself. Fill it with good things like a movie you like, or a book full of quotes and stickers, or a sketchbook and pencils. When you feel upset, pick a distraction and throw yourself into it. It doesn't always work, but it usually works pretty well.
I hope my advice is useful to you, and I wish you the best of luck! Just remember that even if things seem hopeless and it seems like nobody in the world cares, it's not true. Depression affects the way you think and it can hide the good things and magnify the bad. There's always someone out there who wants to help you, even if you haven't met them yet, and people care about you even if they don't show it all the time. You are important, you are loved, and you can rise above this. It will take some work and there may be times when you feel like you've hit rock bottom, but things will get better.
I'm not interested in advice on why not to do it. I'm disabled, out of money, no chance to work, and a family to support. I have two life insurance policies that pay off at this point for suicide.
I tried getting metal health support in Chicago, but because of budget cuts I'm not able. An example is a place called C4. I called and they said because I have Medicare they can't take me. Why? They don't have the staff that is qualified, as they've been laid off. I tried several C4 locations and got transferred to the same person in the end. I even called one of the mental health people directly who told me she couldn't help me.
I called the Mayor's office. While they gave me leads on finding work and mental health NONE panned out. The ticket to work people say I'm over educated or qualified for their help. The mental health people say they don't have the resources.
I know the pain my family will feel, but the pain of not having a roof over their head or food will be worse in the long run. I'm not that special.
I'm in peace with my decision and my belief in the here after. Yeah, I know what mainstream churches say, but I disagree. God is a God of Love. no sin is unforgivable, except one and that's not suicide.
So, I'm posting asking for methods that are quick and painless (to me). I'm not for gun or bridge jumping. I want something private and not messy.
I'm thinking of pills, booze, and maybe a bag. I have lots of pain from my disability and have numerous schedule 2 drugs. I guess for a good answer the type is necessary. Methadone and Oxycodon.
I've been getting off of them slowly for two reason. First, so when I do the deed I don't resist them as much. Second, to have a good supply of them.
My thoughts are to grind them up into a powered and then mix it with water. This way I don't have to wait for them to dissolve or risk throwing them up.
I'm also considering mixing them with booze instead of water. My first choice is, though, to mix with water and drink the booze separately.
As for the bag, I'm considering two of them. One is a body bag to make it cleaner for everyone and second a trash bag for my head.
I'm considering the trash bag as it is big enough to give me time to actually pass out before running out of air. Hopefully, I'll be out enough not to fight for breath well enough to live.
Then I'll simply fall to that long sleep till God calls everyone to the Day of Judgment. If God doesn't exist the life has zip, zero meaning. If God is a God of Hate then I'll have to learn to hate.
If he is a God of Love, I'll only be able to stand for correction and simply say .. No one hath greater that he gives his life for another. In my case, I was giving my life so others might live awhile longer till the world of man gives them a better chance to find work or make other money.
----
So, please give me your thoughts on clean, painless ways to die.
Oh, yeah, if you're in Chicago and need a computer expert with 30 years of operating systems and networking software development, team leadership, etc. OR you're in Chicago and know of mental health that is really available even if you have Medicare, ... Yeah, I'll listen to you, too.
If all you want to say is don't do it or try to scare me ... don't waste your time.
You are special. I know it's hard to believe, but you are! And your life is worth much more than money. I understand that you are suffering and your family is suffering, and you feel like suicide will solve a lot of problems for all of you. I wont lie; it will probably solve some of the problems. But what kind of problems will it create for the people left behind? You are basically saying to them, "I committed suicide for you." And that sounds nice on the surface, but it's the same as saying, "I committed suicide because of you." And they will live with that for the rest of their lives.
It's hard to hear and I know your situation is desperate, but you need to acknowledge the negatives of your death in more detail than just, "It will hurt my family." Your family will blame themselves forever. Every time they spend that life insurance money, they will think of you and believe that your suicide was their fault. You believe that your life can be measured in life insurance money, but have you consulted your family about it? I think they would have a very different idea of your worth.
And although I don't live in Chicago, most cities have at least one good resource for families who can't afford food and housing. So long as your family is honest and willing to fight to move up in life, there is someone in Chicago willing to help you even if you haven't found them yet. Churches are an especially important resource. Even if no one at a church can help, they will probably know someone who can.
That said, your city's mental health system is failing you. It's unfortunately common. But if you walk into an emergency room and tell them how suicidal you are, you will get help. It doesn't matter who you are or what insurance you have; they will help you. Although I'm sure you know that will cost money, and that is one big reason why you haven't tried it yet. Still, do not just dismiss it! Human life is worth far more than money, always. That includes your life.
I want to point you to a few more free resources that might help you out. This is the International Suicide Prevention Wiki:
http://suicideprevention.wikia.com/wiki/International_Suicide_Prevention_Directory
It is a collection of various resources (hotlines, ebooks, online forums, etc.) all intended to help people suffering suicidal thoughts. Maybe something there can help you where your city has failed. I want to especially recommend IMAlive.org. It's an online crisis 'hotline' that works via instant messaging. All the staff are trained to help with problems like yours, and the service is completely free.
Also, please read this ebook:
http://www.qprinstitute.com/Foreverweb.html
I've read it while suicidal, and I found it very useful and realistic. It's not full of scare tactics and 'think positive' nonsense. It's very blunt and very honest about both the positives and negatives of suicide.
I hope you change your mind, and I wish you and your family the best of luck in getting out of the difficult place you're in. There are people out there who care about you and your family. They wont let any of you waste away on the streets. You are valuable, you are needed, and all the money in the world can't replace the hole you would leave in your family's hearts.
I really want to die please can you help me find a fast painless way to do so I have been thinking about this for 2months and I am very sure.
First off, I want to tell you that you are not alone in how you feel. A lot of people feel suicidal at some point. Some of them kill themselves, but the majority of them survive. I've been there, and I'm still alive: partly out of luck, but also because a few people showed me that I was important, even when I felt like I was a waste of air.
Even if you feel sure now, consider that you may not be seeing the whole picture. Depression, anger, stress, alcohol, self-hate: all of these things and more can twist your vision of reality. It may be impossible for you to think clearly and you might not even realize it. My vision of reality was twisted for years and it took other people to make me realize it. I thought I wanted to die, but my reasons were based on false information and mistaken beliefs.
Please, try talking to someone. You can talk to a trained counselor online here:
https://www.imalive.org/
You don't have to talk face-to-face or even pick up a phone. It's free and anonymous. You have nothing to lose.
Also, here is a book (available free online) that will help you make a more informed decision about ending your life: http://www.qprinstitute.com/Foreverweb.html
I've read it while suicidal, and it helped me. Hopefully it will help you, too.
No matter what is happening in your life, I guarantee you that there is still a reason to live, somewhere. There are people who care about you, even if you haven't met them yet. There are things you haven't done yet, even if right now, you feel like you wouldn't enjoy them. Things can change for the better, even if it seems impossible now. Nothing in anyone's life is permanent other than death.
Please think about this longer. This is the biggest decision any person can make and the worst place to make a mistake. I wouldn't get a tattoo without waiting a year to make sure I wanted the design. I wouldn't get married unless I had loved my boyfriend for at least two years. Suicide is a much bigger decision than body modification or marriage, so why would you take less time to choose?
Hi I'm 13 years old and I was wondering how to shoot my rubber bands out of my mouth! Can you aim them?!
Trying to shoot rubber bands with your mouth is a really bad idea. Have you ever tried to shoot rubber bands off your finger before? It seems like, at least a third of the time the rubber band ends up going backwards and slapping you rather than flying anywhere. Imagine that happening in your mouth... It would be pretty easy to choke on one.
I'm guessing you want to learn how to do this because someone you know can do it and it looks cool, or you've just heard about it and think it would be cool. Well, you wont look very impressive if you choke on a rubber band. :/
Try picking up another unusual skill like contact juggling. Contact juggling is where someone moves a ball around their arms, hands, the backs of their hands, and so on. So you juggle it, but without ever letting go. It's cooler than it sounds. Here's a website with lots of information about it:
http://www.contactjuggling.org/wiki/index.php/Main_Page
The main page also has a video, so you can watch it and see if it looks like something you'd want to learn.
Ok so I'm 15 f I have dirty blonde hair and I just feel blah with it so my parents are letting me get highlights but not crazy colors which I kinda wanted but I wanted to do darkish bright kinda red but I don't know how it would look like would it make me regret it but I want in done on the under part of my hair like I have layers so you would still be able to see it so any suggestions like a different color it has to be natural but I'm really pushing for red:)
I've seen blondes with red highlights that worked; it really just depends on personal taste. I'm not sure how it would look if you are just putting it on the under part of your hair, though...
You could also get different colors of blonde, brown, and chestnut as streaks all through your hair. This is both attractive and subtle, and all the colors are natural colors (I'm guessing either your school or your parents have rules against unnatural colors). I think red would look good mixed in this way, too, but like I said earlier, I have no idea how it would look just on the under layer of your hair.
Good luck! I hope your hair turns out the way you want it to. :)
Okay, I recently got a new printer and I'm super excited to try and print off my book to show people and I want to make it look at least somewhat professional. The story has a gothic style to it and takes place at a school with the same style, so I've been looking at gothic architecture to use on the cover along with a really awesome looking font. Problem is, I don't know exactly HOW to make the cover. I have no idea how to work photoshop very well either, I mostly use paint or word when drawing/designing something. Are there any tips I can get for designing a book cover on regular computer paper with the programs that I have?
You can try GIMP. It is similar to Photoshop, but freely available for download on the Internet. I know you say you don't know much about Photoshop, but there are a lot of guides on the Internet and you don't need to completely master the program. So long as you learn how to use layers, edit/move text and images, and learn the basic tools, you should be fine for making a book cover.
I don't advise trying to use Paint or MS Word for this. Those programs are terrible for graphic design and using them for this purpose often feels like trying to teach a monkey to repair a motorcycle. It's very frustrating and will not be as efficient or professional looking as a program like GIMP would be.
If you don't want to draw up an image for the cover from scratch, there are websites on the Internet that provide stock photos for individual use. Be sure to read the fine print on these! Some of them forbid using the photos for profit, so if you want to sell the book with this cover, you could get into trouble. Some of the websites charge money for their images, but it's worth it depending on how serious you are about the book. Once you have the stock photos you need, you can manipulate them in GIMP to make them eye-catching and unique.
You can also pay someone on the Internet to do the artwork and/or design the cover for you. This will cost money and you will have to make sure the artist is ok with you using it as a book cover, but you could get some excellent looking covers this way. There are a lot of artists and graphic designers on Deviantart.com who could do this for you, or you could ask around and see what turns up. Just be careful with how you pay people. Paypal is generally safe, just be careful that the person doesn't take the money and run after you pay them.
Hope this helps! :) I've never designed a cover for a novel, but I designed a cover and title pages for a school project in GIMP and they turned out amazing. Give it a try and see what happens.
16/f/India
Okay so I am in senior year. Here 12th grade is VERY important..My admissions into a good college will be only on the basis of the marks I score in my "board examination" which is held at the end of the year. The papers are not checked by my teachers but by some other teachers who don't know me and are teaching in some other school. This is done to make the examination fair. The cutoffs for any college where i live (new delhi) are CRAZZY. I mean nothing below a 475/500 is acceptable.
I have Physics, Chemistry, Computer science, English and Maths as my subjects.
Im telling you all of this just so that you know there is a lot of pressure to perform well.. and I have to in order to get a good college.
Ive just been real distracted for a while. I don't know how to concentrate on my studies. I dont feel like sitting with my books. It is freaking me out because every day matters to me. Please help!!!!!
Try setting up little rewards for yourself...like, say," I will earn myself a piece of candy if I study for 30 minutes." It might help motivate you in a way that doesn't make you panic. Yes, the examination is important, but if you think too long on that you can scare yourself to the point of distraction. So, set up little rewards for yourself that don't remind you of that.
Be sure to study somewhere away from distractions like the Internet or chatty friends, if you can. If you are having trouble focusing in the first place, external distractions wont help.
Also, try some new ways of study that aren't just plain memorization from books. Use flash cards, or make up a game that helps you remember the important information you need to know. If the books aren't working for you, maybe some other method of study will work for you.
Try not to think so much about the importance of the exam. You seem to be a pretty good student from what you say, but you lack confidence in yourself. Tell yourself that you can do this. You are going to go in there and do fantastic on your exams, and let's see other people even try to get in your way. You will do this. It just requires some effort on your part as you study. But don't lose that confidence in yourself because that is almost as important as studying.
And remember, what happens will happen. I used to be really obsessive about getting perfect scores on all my assignments, and the stress almost broke me. Now I'm a bit more relaxed. I still aim for the top and put all my effort into my work, but I accept that I will not always be the best. Maybe you will get a 474/500 or something like that, but it wont be the end of your life. You are a good student; you have excellent skills in English, Math, and all the subjects you have studied. Even if you don't get into the top college, no one can take these skills from you. There are plenty of paths you can take in life and missing the cutoff on the exam with not close all of them to you. You are intelligent, skilled, and you have a future regardless of what happens on this test. Remember that, but study hard anyway. ;) I believe in you.
Well first off Im pale and I hate it!! I have alrighty got in the tanning bed btw im 13/f and I stopped because you can get cancer. Also I don't tan good in the sun. Is there anything I can wear or do to look more darker and not too pale? other than spray tan.(two orange) I already put on lotion that makes you darker. Please Help Thanks(:
Why is being pale so awful? I mean, I'm very pale and it can be annoying when I get too much sun, but I'm fine with the way I look. I remember when I was 13 (six years ago, not too much time), being tan was the 'in' thing and a lot of my friends didn't even care if tanning beds could give them cancer or age them prematurely (yes, tanning can age your skin and make you get wrinkles earlier in life...on top of increasing your risk of cancer).
Anyway, my point is that it's not that big of a deal whether you're pale, bronze, or whatever. Maybe your friends act like it's really important now, but you don't have to try and fit with that just because other people want you to. Try and be happy with your skin as it is, because other than going out in the sun or fake tans, there isn't much you can do to get that true tanned look.
Although if you want to be tan because you just like the look, I can sympathize. You can try wearing lighter colors like pastel pink. If you're pale, these colors will make you look pinker and healthier instead of sickly white. It wont make you look tan, but it helps. Don't wear a lot of dark colors like black, especially black t-shirts. These will really make you look like a vampire.
Like I said earlier, try to make peace with what you've got now, if you can. Not everyone likes the tan look and when you get older, most people (the people that matter) won't care.
I have been trying to lose weight for about a year. I have been eating the right things, tracking my food and exercise, seeing a personal trainer, and have had blood drawn. All the blood tests come back negative for diabetes, thyroid problems, anemia, and whatever else they test for for weight problems. It is so frustrating! And I don't understand why if i'm doing the right things the weight won't come off! (And I do mean that literally. 10 pounds loss in a year is NOT losing weight! Especially when I was working out and GAINED weight.) grrrrrrrrrr! Has anyone else had this problem before?
Keep in mind, muscle weighs more than fat. You may have gained weight from exercising because you are replacing excess fat with muscle. That's a good thing! Exercise is a good part of any weight loss plan, but it wont necessarily make you drop a lot of weight. However, it will definitely strengthen your muscles and make you healthier overall. Don't give up hope. :)
It may be that you current regimen isn't working for you. Maybe you need to add more aerobic exercise and less weight lifting, or maybe you are eating too many carbohydrates and not enough fats/proteins. You didn't really explain your daily regimen so I'm not sure. Just think about it.
There are some great weight loss programs out there. Another person mentioned Weight Watchers. I've never tried any of them but it's worth looking into. But remember that a lot of the diet books out there are full of nonsense and either wont help you lose weight or will make you lose weight in really unhealthy ways. Be sure to discuss new diets with your doctor.
Are you seeing a nutritionist? They're trained to figure out how much you should eat and what types of food you need to be eating/not eating. Personal trainers are great, but they typically aren't nutrition experts. It seems like you are already putting a fair bit of money into this (personal trainer, medical tests, etc.) so consider seeing a nutritionist to be another investment in better health.
I'm not going to give you specific diet tips because I bet you are already pouring over everything you can find on the subject. But I wish you good luck and I hope my advice helps. Don't give up. Even if you feel like you aren't meeting your goals or sometimes believe you will never be able to lose the weight, you can do it. The most important thing, more important than nutritionists or personal trainers or any diet programs, is to just keep trying. The better health and increased self-confidence you will gain is well worth the effort.
hoe to impress a girl
It depends on the girl, and your relationship with her. For example, if she's something of a tomboy she might not appreciate the more 'girly' gestures of romance. And if you don't know her that well, making a really over-the-top romantic gesture would probably make her uncomfortable.
I'm going to guess you aren't super close to her, otherwise you wouldn't be so worried about impressing her...
For one thing, be yourself. The kind of girl who doesn't like you for who you are is not a girl you want to spend time with, anyway. Don't force yourself to act all macho or be a jerk to people just to seem tough. All the girls I know hate that.
Being polite to her, respecting her (as in, don't make jokes about women around her, don't treat her like an idiot or a slut, etc.), and giving her small compliments every once in a while (like, "I like your shirt" or "Your hair looks good today"). Don't overdo the compliments because that will creep her out, and avoid making comments about weight, even if it seems positive to you, like, "You look good; have you lost weight?" It implies that, at one point, she was fatter and less attractive, and losing weight has made her look sexier. Even if it's true, it will not please her.
If you are just starting to date her or woo her, small gifts are ok in moderation. Origami cranes or a single flower, or maybe a simple note written neatly on nice paper, are all good things. Don't buy expensive gifts, because that will scare off some girls. The girls that want expensive gifts right away are generally girls you want to avoid. Don't send her a huge bouquet of flowers in the middle of class unless you have been dating a while (and she likes public displays of affection)...but giving her a single rose, carnation, or other flower in the hallway is nice. It's also a great way to make it clear to a girl that you like her as more than a friend.
Just, generally, acting considerate and respectful toward a girl is likely to impress her. Although you need to also show that you are romantically interested her, or else she'll just consider you a polite friend.
Also, don't crush your personality around her because you are trying to be polite and gentlemanly all the time. That will not make a girl be attracted to you, because guys who are constantly polite aren't very interesting. Girls want guys who are interesting and also make them feel good about themselves.
Now, these tips wont work on every girl. Some girls want expensive gifts and guys who are jerks, but unless you are a jerk by nature or only interested in sex, don't bother with these girls.
Hope this helps. :)
20/f
Okay so i work at a drugstore, in the front of the store, and we just got a new pharmacy intern a week ago. I swear that he is the most gorgeous guy I have ever seen..he makes me melt when I see him and gives me serious butterflies, kind of like a middle school crush. The issue is that hes very quiet and shy and I have a social anxiety disorder so us ever speaking at all to eachother isnt looking promising. Me approaching him is never going to happen no matter how bad I would like to due to my anxiety. So my questions are, how would I even know if he's interested? especially if he's shy..and how do I get him to notice me? I usually have no problem with guys but he's different, he's very very intimidating.
It's seems like you both have trouble approaching other people. He's probably just as intimidated at the idea of approaching you as you are about the idea of approaching him. You could try writing him a short note. It's kind of corny, but just saying something like, "Hi, you look like an interesting guy and I'd like to hang out with you, but I'm kind of shy" would probably work. Just hand it to him, maybe with a small smile, and walk away. If his quietness is due to shyness, it'll encourage him, knowing that you aren't going to outright reject him if he talks to you.
Or, if you have a particular coworker who loves matchmaker and/or is something of a mother hen, you could explain your situation and I'm sure he or she would throw the two of you into a very awkward situation...but neither of you would be responsible for setting it up, so it might help break the ice.
Personally, I'd prefer writing the note. :P
I'm twelve years old and my sister is fifteen years old. I also have two other sister.Me and my fifteen year old sister are always fighting she always teases me and then I yell at her. We just never seem to get along. How do I stop? I don't want to be hating her when I'm and adult.
It's tough when your older sister is the one fighting with you. At fifteen, she's expected to be the mature one. But of course, teens have all those raging hormones and they can be really grouchy a lot of the time.
I would suggest trying to talk it out with her, in private. Getting other people involved would probably just make her defensive and even more irritated with you. Talk to her and tell her you don't want to fight with her. Tell her that her teasing bothers you, and when you yell at her it's because she's frustrated you to the breaking point and you don't know how to deal with it other than yelling back at her. Because really, we all snap sometimes when we get mad, and having someone tease you constantly is a pretty good reason to get upset. Even if the two of you don't become best friends or anything, maybe the two of you can at least stop fighting so often. And if you think she might not let you finish explaining (as in, cut you off at the beginning of your explanation to tease you more) you could try writing a letter and then talking to her after she reads it. At least then she'll probably hear everything you have to say before she can react to it in front of you.
Also, I will say again... Teenagers can be really moody creatures sometimes, and being rude to their family is a big part of that. Even if you fight now, she'll probably be nicer to you once she matures a little bit. I constantly fought with my parents when I was 14-17 years old, but now that I'm 19 we have a pretty decent relationship. If my relationship with my parents turned out okay, I'm sure the relationship with your sister can turn out okay, too.
Okay I recieved my credit card bill today. Well there were a whole bunch of charges on it from facebook that i didn't do. I had purchased some credits on there for my boyfriend before. So a few of those were actually me. But there were like ten more that were not. I called my credit card company and told them I wasnt going to pay it because I didnt buy it. They took it off and then sent an investigator in. I have a feeling it was my bf who charged the extra charges and didn't tell me. I'm mad but i know credit fraud is serious and I don't want him to go to jail over some facebook credits, yet i don't want to pay it either. I afterall didn't buy them. So do i actually have to press charges in order for him to get in trouble or does the credit card company do that automatically, if so ill just pay it. How would I go about that?
You should explain all of this to your boyfriend. If it turns out that he did charge game credits to your card...well, you are perfectly right to be angry with him. But if he admits it, you can always call the credit card company back and say it's not worth the trouble, you've decided to pay the charges and be done with it. And then you can heckle your boyfriend to pay you back afterwards. I'm not 100 percent sure if this would work, but it would probably keep it from ending up in court. So long as the charges get paid and the card holder is satisfied, the company will most likely just let it go.
If he didn't do it, you could be in serious trouble financially if someone else has stolen your credit information. They might not stop at Facebook credits next time. And if your boyfriend still lies about it after you confront him and explain the trouble he could be in, maybe he deserves it a little bit. :P
Also, I'd be careful letting your boyfriend near your credit cards in the future, if the charges were his fault. If he isn't bothered by charging your card multiple times without your knowledge on game credits, he might move on to bigger charges later on. You never know when he might max out the card and run off with his new computer or whatever. It's unlikely, and you most likely wouldn't have to pay in that case, if you reported it properly, but it's something to consider.
Ok, so there's this guy who I text with. We have good communication he has asked me out before. But, it's this year that I like him. He had a girlfriend. And he broke up with her. And he knows I now, like him. He flirts with me, and he was going to kiss me while he had a girlfriend. But, I said no and got mad at him because he was in a relationship. Now, that he's single he doesnt talk to me about that or anything. Im the one that has to make a conversationo. And I try not texting him everyday, so he wont think Im obsessed or weird. So, I send him love notes. And he says they're cute and that I'm cute but, I think he doesnt like me because he doesnt tell me even though he knows I like him. So, I dont know what to do anymore..
Have you tried asking him out? This is the 21st century after all. Guys don't always have to make the first move these days.
But really, if he doesn't like you in a romantic way, there's no way to force it. If you already talk a fair amount and you've expressed interest in him, there's no magic way to make him interested. Maybe he liked you at one point, but moved on, or maybe he was confused. Maybe he's still confused. Directly ask him out, and if he's not interested, there's probably nothing you can do, and if that's the case, you should move on and find someone else.
i want to earn some money but i can't get a job because i'm only 13 and i dont know who to babysit for. i dont know whether putting up fliers around the neighborhood would actually work. i babysit my own little brother all the time but my parents never pay me or give me an allowance. PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Keep in mind, there are other ways to earn money than babysitting. You could mow lawns, or do odd jobs around the house for friends of your family, for example. If you have experience with pets or taking care of plants, you can also pet sit or house sit for people while they are on vacation. Just be careful with this, because sometimes it requires going into other people's houses by yourself. Always make sure your parents know where you are going and are ok with the people you are babysitting/pet sitting/whatever for.
I don't know much about babysitting, but a lot of the time the best way to get business is from friends of your parents. If your parents say you are a good babysitter, and the friends trust your parents, you might have yourself a job.
Also, one way to improve your reputation as a potential babysitter is to become first aid/CPR certified. I think some places require this. Parents definitely prefer it, and it's always a good idea to be prepared if something happens to the kid you are babysitting. Some communities have places that give free training, so look around a bit and see if you can find one. Local churches will probably know a place, or even provide training sometimes at the church.
And have you talked to your parents about the allowance thing? Even if money is tight around the house and, to a certain extent, you are expected to do things for your family (they do feed you, house you, and so on, after all), I'd say you've been earning yourself at least a small allowance. Even if it's just five dollars a week...that's something. See if you can negotiate with them. Five dollars a week is better than nothing. And if you give them some good reasons why you need the money (birthday gifts for people, or something useful that you would like to have but want to earn yourself, like a bike or a small pet) it might help your argument. But if they don't like pets, avoid mentioning that at the same time you ask for an allowance. It's better to ask them for as little as possible because they will be more willing agree with you, that way.
ok so there this guy and we went to middle school togeter and from middle school lots of girl like him when he first came in the 8th grade and im wasnt too interested even my friends liked him and i was kinda of a flirt with him but i didnt like him... so at gr 8 grad we had a dance and i was on my way to the bathroom and he asked my to dance.. well now it 3 year lter and we go to the same highschool and we dnt have classes together but im starting to like him but it not in physical is in a more deeper way i more then just friendship???? what is going on???
It sounds like you have a crush. That's totally normal, but be careful about it. Sometimes you can fall in love with the idea of a person even though you don't know much about them. Then when you get to know them, that picture of them that you had in your mind gets smashed to pieces.
Ask yourself, what do you really know about him? Things he likes or dislikes, personality traits, what he does in his spare time, that kind of thing. If you don't know much about him, that's ok. Just hang out with him (or even just talk to him online more often) and get to know him more, and then you can decide how you feel later on.
But don't jump into a relationship, or express feelings for him, all of the sudden after not being around him much for several years. That could end badly for both of you, or scare him off completely. Pace yourself. If you really like him and he likes you and you are a good match for each other, thing will probably work out in time. :)
i'm eighteen years old.was in a relationship for the past four years.everything was absolutely fine..till my bf decided it had to end(a week back).i kinda understand why he had to do so..and totally know he did the right thing..but i'm not able to let go..though breaking up was the most practical thing to do, i'm not able t accept it..and the thing that makes it even more complicated is that we had been doing more than just hanging out.so after all this..i feel like i've been used and cheated..i'm not able to tell my parents about it cuz i'm feeling guilty.. have already attempted suicide twice but it didn't really work..i have no idea what to do,, every little thing in my life reminds me of him..i wanna hate him but am really not able to...
and knowing that he's moved on is only hurting me more...i don't know what to do and i need all the help i can get...not to get back to him..but to let go of him.....
A four year relationship ending while you are only 18? Ouch. Ending a four year relationship at any age is harsh, but at your age it can especially feel like the end of the world. I just turned 19 and was in a similar situation, so I feel your pain.
First off, and this is very important, if you feel actively suicidal (as in, you think you are in danger of acting on your thoughts) you need to seek help from someone. You say you are too ashamed to tell your parents about the breakup, but they would really much rather handle the fallout of your breakup than the fallout of your suicide. I would also advise you not to tell them about your previous attempts right now, but please, don't kill yourself without trying to find help first. There are hotlines you can call, or you can visit and emergency room (awkward, but sometimes necessary), or you could try talking to someone at IMAlive.org. IMALive is very similar to a hotline, but everything is done through instant messaging rather than over the phone. The people there are well trained, and you don't have to physically speak to anyone. If you feel like you need help, please, please find it before it's too late. Your family loves you and they don't want to lose you.
That paragraph was long, but I've been suicidal so many times and I've seen the effects it can have on the people who care about me. Even just thinking about it often is something you need to take seriously and handle carefully. If you remain in this desperate emotional state, you need to see a counselor/therapist. If you find the right one, they can really help you and possibly save your life.
Moving on now... One thing that I must emphasize is, get as much distance from your ex as you can! Even if you want to stay friends with him, tell him you need a six month break from talking to him so your emotions can settle down. If you have special things that remind you of him, pack them away, have a friend hold on to them for you, or (if you can) get rid of them completely. You wont be able to eliminate all the reminders, but you can remove those hugely significant items like gifts he gave you or photos of the two of you. This will be terribly hard for you, but it is one of the biggest ways to help yourself move on.
Also, distract yourself! You need to figure out what you're feeling and come to terms with it, but doing that and obsessing about it 24/7 are very different things. Go hang out with good friends. Pick up a new, mind-consuming hobby like painting or cooking, or go on brisk walks or runs (depending on your fitness level). If you feel like you are getting stuck in thoughts about him, throw yourself into one of these distractions.
I'm not completely sure what shames you so much about the relationship ending that you can't tell your parents. You don't have to mention the suicide attempts. They've almost certainly been in unsuccessful relationships, too, so they may have helpful advice for you. Talk to them about it, as honestly as you can, and be sure to explain that it's really upsetting you and how afraid you were to share it with them. They can't help you if they don't know what's going on with you. And they can definitely help you, even if it's super awkward for you at first.
Like I said earlier, if you continue to feel this upset, you need to talk to some kind of professional. People go to therapists all the time with relationship problems or to vent stress. Visiting a therapist doesn't mean you're crazy or weak. It just means you are having trouble that you need professional help with. If you get really sick, you go to a doctor. If your car breaks down, you need to take it to a mechanic. You really can't fix it on your own, and no one expects you to. Likewise, if you are upset about something in your life and don't feel comfortable talking to people you know, or feel like they don't understand/aren't helping enough, you need to see a therapist.
Also, at the risk of sounding cliche, I will say...it gets better. I was stuck on the same person for a long time, and I was miserable most of that time, but in the past few years I have moved on. I'm happy now, even though, for a while, I felt like I had hit rock bottom and then started digging. It gets better. I promise. You just have to hold on and work a little bit to climb back out of this pit. And you don't have to do it alone. Trust me, there are a lot of people who can help you, who want to help you...but you have to ask before they can give it to you.