khadiya's advice column

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Q: I really have NO clue whatsoever to get him for his 16th birthday gift. He said that I didn't need to and if I insisted to get him money but I don't wanna get him any form of gift cards or money because I don't want there to be a little competition over who got him the most money and blah blah. These are things he's into:
-He's gay
-He loves photography--like LOVES
-He's into foreign things (Speaks Spanish and German, his sisters are adopted from China, his mom, although she is caucasian [sp?] was born and sorta raised in Japan)
-He is in a divorced family if that helps much
-We're going to movies and to a Japanese restaurant
-He blabs on and on about America's Next Top Model, Flavor of Love, Everyone Loves New York (or something with NEw YOrk in it...hte girl from Flavor of love)
-He hates his cell phone because it so out of date
-He's addicted to facebook
-He likes the band tATu, Evanescence, the song Fergalicious, and stuff like that. But he already has all the CDs so not much luck there

Hope my info was good enough? I just don't know what to get him. And as I said NO GIFT CARDS/MONEY!!! And around what price range should the gift be? I'm just a good friend. Not like bffl or anything and I'm only 14 with not much money left

How about you get him season 1 or 2 maybe both of flavor of love! Their both available and i think the are like 20 dollars.

Q: 13/f

god where do i start..

well my best guy friend is going out with someone right now. at first i was like omg good for you & i was all happy for him. well he has liked me for a long time & even told me he loved me. well he told me he still likes me. i'm like ew um gross? i don't like him. kay well i was looking at his girlfriend's myspace & i see a picture of them on there kissing. i saw it & i seriously about cried. after a while, i went to my media player & played the song your guardian angel by the red jumpsuit apparatus & cried for a long time. i really don't know why. do i like him or something? because when i think about it, i don't like him at all. but then i find myself wishing for him at 11:11!! & i always dream about him being my boyfriend. help me!!!!!

You just want him because someone else has him. Its just lust. If you and him was put in the situation where he wanted to be with you again you probably wouldnt feel the same.

Q: i have a bigg crush on one of my good friends brothers. she knows, and she swears she doesnt mind, but i think she does. should i go for it with him, or lay off and respect the relationship i have with my friend?

thanks!

I would sit her down and ask her again. Make cinversation about it. Because I know i would not like it if one of my friends liked my brother. I would feel like she was using me if she didnt tell me about it in the first place.

Q: Where are your curves located? Are they At your love handles or down at your hips? Im really confused because my love handles are wide and im not sure if that is what a curve is. If anyone can tell me that would be greatly appreciated.
Btw i tried to google it but couldnt find any results.
Thanks

curves are your breast, and hips.

Q: 13 female.

I have at least six guys that are in love with me. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO! I'm like in over my head. They all always ask me out and call me and ask me to come over and stuff.
What to I do to slow it down!?
please help!

If your not interested, tell them you are not interested. Dont let them come over if you dont want them there. Its just as simple as that.

Q: i am 16 years old. me and my boyfriend started having sex about 2 months ago. I was worried because last month i was late on my period, and then this month i was showing signs of being pregnate (unually tired, cravings, morning sickness) but the i started my period, and on the second day of my period this pinkish whitish glob of what looked like mucus came out. im really worried that it might have been an unborn baby. I can't go to the doctor. Is there anyway i could get medical help without my parents knowing? thanks.

You can most definitely go to the doctor. Or a health department. They will not tell your parents because you are over 13. Its doctor patient confidentiality. Make sure to mention this before you tell them your problem.

Q: 13/f
O.K. so my ex boyfriend, we will call him R, still really likes me. We went out in december for a week, then I broke with him, then we went out for a week in January, and he was being all jerkish, so I broke up with him. Then Friday at school his bestfriend was like I hate you you broke my bestfriends hearts. Well yesterday I decided to text R, he said "Im not talking to you after i heard you were talking about me" & I was like "I didnt say anything about you! Who said I did?" And it was his bestfriend, but he is my friend too. And I was like "Well ya he said I broke your heart" And R is like"Well ya you did" and I was like"Im sorry I didnt mean to hurt you" && then hes like "You dont know how much you mean to me, everything I do I cant concentrate because I cant stop thinking of you"

Now I dont know what to do, because on one hand, he is like being so sweet, and he has always been sweet to me except for that 1 time. Then on the other hand Im not sure if I want a boyfriend or if I just dont want to go out with him.[[Also I tend to flirt, alot, with everyone, but not as much when im going out with someone]]

Please Help!

Both of you need to grow up. Your 13. This sounds like he said she said stuff. Your friend is two faced. You need to confront this person. If you went out for two weeks, how can he say he cares about you that much. And why are you even worried about it if you did all the braking up?

Q: Hi.

Well, my boyfriend is 18 years old, and at the end of the year he will be going to college.

I am still going to be in highschool.

It kills me to think about it, and it's always stuck in my mind.

I look and him and think of what is goign to happen to us when he goes away.

I fell inlove with this boy, and I don't know how to cope with this.

help?

All you can do is trust him. a relationship is built on trust and as long as you trust him your relationship will be stronger than before.

Q: Well me and my boyfriend have been gowing out for about a year now and we've talked about sex
and we've desited that we're gonna do it next saterday (because his mom is out of town and house to ourselves) well were i live is very cold so i only shave (down there) in the summer and that is only the sides and stuff if you know what i mean but i dont know its gonna be my frist time and i dont really talk about sex like that or about how to shave down there so how do i shave it all clean or like i do in the summer or how cause i dont wanna feel stupid in front of him so how do i shave it. thanx

xoxo

Get some manicure scissors. The really small scissors and cut it really short first. As short as you can with out cutting yourself. Then shave down, then back up after you are finish shaving down. Then apply some nonsented lotion so it will help you not get razor bumps. EVEN THOUGH you mite get a couple because its your first time this may help.

Q: I'm allergic to every type of deoderant i've ever tried. I've seriously tried everything available at stores (like walmart) Including men's! my mom just bought me some thats supposed to be all natural and hypo-allergenic.. but it made it worse.
I have this horrible rash on my armpit from it that hurts and looks kinda gross.
Is there anything a doctor could prescibe or that i can get myself to stop this irritation!?

Try using baby powder. Just straight baby powder. Nothing else. And see if that helps.

Q: Well I've been waking up hungry lately,
and I normally dont, so does that mean my metabolism is working faster?

Is there anyway to increase it?

Im not sure there is any way to increase it, but I do know that if you are waking up hungry, you probably didnt eat well the day before. When i say well i mean like healthy and filling, not just food with empty carbs.

Q: Im going to florida in march and i wanna loose wieght because i will be in a bathing suit. I have a tred mil, so if i ate right and ran on the tred mill lets say 4-5 days a week (cause i have school work and a social life i dont think i could do it everyday) Would that help me loose weight? I want to loose like 15-20 lbs.

what else can i do?

That should help. BUT you also need to do something to work out your stomach. Like some crunches.

Q: okay i just started my period and i went to the bathroom and this thing came out that looked like an egg, slimy clear stuff with yellow spots...it looked thick mucus. What is it?

You would have been in a little pain if it was a miscarriage

Q: Female 19 i had a guy friend that i really cared about but i got into some trouble with him and I wasn't allowed to see him anymore. At that point it was hard keeping up with him and contacting him because every step of the way my mom was trying to pull us apart and at times even though heacted really interested in me and sounded like he was going to try to make it work it seemed like he wasn't trying hard enough. So one day after he came to see me I felt like I'm just going to see how much he really cares about me and i'm going to see if he'll work to be with me. I didn't call him for like 3 or 4 weeks and he couldn't call my house but he could of called my job or something but he never did and by the time I looked him up again he had moved away with the mother of his children. Is it possible that he ever cared about me?

Not at all. He was using you all along. I know it sounds bad but its the truth. He probably started off a little interested, but he wanted to be with her all the time. You were just something to fall back on because he wasnt with her at the time. Just move on. He's trash.

Q: long but bear with me. so basically it goes.. im a sophomore and hes a junior. through highschool up until now, hes failed 7 classes and is now behind 3 credits. the school doesnt tell him these things like mine does until the last minute, so he didnt have time to catch up. [let me add that he worked 6 hours a day for 5 days a week since he was 14, so it was hard for him to be able to do homework and stuff, but he pretty much didnt have a choice]. his only option was to go to night school AND summer school [at a combined $1200] for him to graduate on time, but they cant afford that. so now theres another option, theres this new school thing were he'll be unenrolled from his current school to go to this other place for about 4 hours a day for 8 weeks to get caught up, free of charge, then continue next year as a senior. its all done by computer and its at your own pace so it can be longer than 8 weeks but yeah. hes so worried about getting in though. like hes worried something will come up and he wont be able to for whatever reason [they check things like attendance and if youre a trouble maker and whatever.. hes not a trouble maker but he did miss 12 days last year]. if he doesnt get in he wont graduate until i do and hes gonna be pissed!! and it doesnt help that his mom calls him stupid a good bit. but hes smart like for real. his mom tells him that ill be graduating before him and stuff. apparently she reminds him every day. ive been around her for the past 7 months and yeah shes not exactly the sweetest thing. so i have two questions:

1- how can i convince him that he is smart? ive told him a million times and that he'll get in over there, but he's convinced otherwise.

2- honestly, what if he doesnt get in? ill feel sooo bad for him and he said ill never convince him hes smart if he doesnt. hes a totally mellow happy kinda person for the most part but he said if he didnt get in that id see him MAD for sure. so i dont know what im gonna do. i can understand id be pissed too if i had to stay in high school an extra year, so how can i be there for him and stuff? you can only say things like "itll be ok" and whatever so many times...

im so mixed up =[

SORRY IN ADVANCE
But the thing is, you should know if your failing or not. If you arent understanding whats going on then of course you should know your failing. You cant really convince him that he is smart. I mean 7 classes? you wouldnt be able to convice me either. should just push him to do better.

Q: I'm an amateur photographer, and in 3 weeks i'm doing a photoshoot. i want it to be kind of fairy themed. my model is very small, and she has very short hair. the area we're doing it in is a tall grassy area. any ideas for props, her hair (once again it's very short, like twiggy's), outfit, makeup, anything else, etc? thanks!

You should do her makeup very dramatic looking. Something that makes her eyes look deep and souful. thats all i can give you. I dont know about that grass thing. If it was something else i could help. Maybe a pic of how high the grass is the color of the grass or something.

Q: how to get a girl t olike me

Either she does are she doesnt. You have to open up though. Girls like to know stuff about you before they decide if they like you or not.

Q: do you guys prefer myspace or facebook better. I have a myspace, but I always hear people talking about facebook, but i think its stupid to be addicted to 2 websites you know (not litterally addicted, but have to login everyday)

so my question is do you guys prefer myspace or facebook? (I'd appreciate it if people tried both) and why do you prefer myspace or facebook?

Facebook isnt as active as myspace. I have one of both. Myspace is like an everybody thing. Facebook kind of separates you into cliques. It what school you wnet to and what colleges. It kind of gets annoying because it tells you what everyone on your friends list is doing. When they update, change pics, add a friend, join groups post anything to anyone else. BUT you really dont have to sign in everyday though.

Q: I get chappd lips a lot. I use lipgloss/moisturizer.

And lately.. when my lips are dry.. the dried parts ..are kinda purple. It looks like my lips are bruised.

What is with that?

This just happens to certain people. Mine ppeel sometimes and when they do i have a tendency to bite them. I started using vaseline on my lips because it lasts longer than a lip balm or chapstick does.

Q: ok so i have a black friend scotti. and another couple friends sara,savannah, joanna,abby,sterling ,and tesia: for the main people... scotti started this thing all of a sudden where she was quiet about it but then i heard she was talking behind my back about me. i confronted her online asking why she was mad at me. she said she was mad at me for being a cunt, whore, slutbaged hoeface bitch. i dont get it after we hang out visit my sailboat huge house she like hates me all of a sudden!??? she wants to beat me up and she has gotten many of my so-called friends to hate me too now. and im not a whore not even close. ok i do flirt but i only have like 20 guys after me rite now. shes is trying to take all the friends i have and its makin me rele mad. ive cried twice today from it and everyone saw me and i cant trust any1 who talks to her. im not sure what to do but if some1 tries to take your friends away from you what should you do?

I would say to ask her why she thinks that but im not sure thats a good idea. Anyone could have started a rumor about you. You know saying that you said something. She is probably just jealous of you and your friends. But if you act like she doesnt bother you she will eventually give up. Just dont talk about her or mention her to anyone. When she sees that your not interested with her nonsense she will eventually give up.

bio

Its A brand new year!! And I havent really been giving advice lately so now IM BACK!! If you have something to ask dont hesitate to ask. DONT BE SHY!! I've been there! Or I know someone who has!

I am a black albino female whose been through alot!!! I have a lot advice to give. Im a very knowledgeable person, and i look at things from many different views. Im very blunt, so if you dont want to hear it straight dont ask me!! any thing else you wanna know get at me!

LET ME REINTRODUCE MYSELF REAL FAST, REAL QUICK!
iM A BLUNT PERSON, IF YOU ASK A GROWN UP QUESTION, IMA GIVE A GROWN UP ANSWER. RECENTLY A GIRL ASKED HOW TO GIVE A BLOWJOB AND I WAS VERY BLUNT AND UPFRONT WITH HER. I GOT SHUNNED FOR MY ACTIONS SO, BASICALLY. IM GOING TO TRY TO AVOID ANSWERING QUESTIONS LIKE THIS. BECAUSE ALL THOUGH THESE KIDS ASKING THESE QUESTIONS ARE YOUNG, THEY OBVIOUSLY BEEN DOING SOMETHING THEY AINT GOT NO BUSINESS DOING BECAUSE THE WOULDNT BE ASKING THOSE TYPES OF QUESTIONS.