I'm a woman in Texas. I'm married and have a school-aged child. I have a medical background. I'm quite liberal, socially. I love helping people with medical, parenting, and social questions. Don't ask me about tech stuff or finances, because I need advice on those things myself!
Gender: Female Location: Texas Age: 34 Member Since: December 17, 2006 Answers: 795 Last Update: September 2, 2007 Visitors: 50088
Main Categories: Health General Sex Questions Parenting View All
Favorite Columnists Xenolan
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Does anyone know where to merhandice azuzephre goods? because i went azuzephre.net and looked for a ceramic cup they were all out of stock but they have like a picture frame but i want other than that please help me find where to merchandice thank you (link)
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To merchandise something is to stock it, as in sell it, in a store. If you're looking to buy or purchase items, I don't know where to find them. However, I'm sure that if you go back to the page, as I did, and look under the heading 'Contact' and go to e-mail, you can write a message asking for a list of places that sell azuzephre near you or on the web. Most web site merchants are happy to tell you where to get their products.
Sabine
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15/f
I've been seeing a therapist for a year now after I was diagnosed with depression. The problem is, after I stopped taking my medecine, I haven't been improving. I'm wondering if, besides therapy, there is any other way to "get help"... they say depression doesn't go away on it's own, and I'm feeling pretty "alone" with the system right now. I'm not going to feel this way forever, am I?
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No, dear. You don't have to feel this way forever.
There are a few options available to you:
1) Try a new therapist or a new therapeutic technique. Some therapists use cognitive/talk therapy. Some use behavior modification. Some use things such as biofeedback or EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing). You might even try adding massage therapy or joining a support group for teens with depression.
2) Try a new med. There are many drugs out there and one might work better for you than another. Or, if your old med worked well, you may need to go back on it again.
3) Try a new diet plan and exercise. Exercise has been shown to be equally effective as therapy or drugs in reducing depression.
You can get this under control. Some people must fight depression all of their lives. I hope you find the right solution for you.
Sabine
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Ok so my mother has been really really weird lately. About two years ago next week we lost my brother. She took it really hard but who wouldn't. So anyways she has been acting really rude to me and everyone else. She is sick a lot. She always has lots of advil and tylonel and ibeprofen in her purse. She is always wanting one and she's always always tired. We just went to the doctor and the doctor called our appointment off and when she found out she called the doctor as quick as she could and told them she needed her zanex and some other medicine for her depression. I don't doubt she needs those, but she is always taking something. Is she on drugs? Is she addicted? She is so irretable too. I can't talk to her because she won't listen anyways. She is constantly ignoring me. She acts like she hates me at times. I don't know what to do. She used to be great, but since my brother died it seems like she doesn't love me or care about me anymore. Questions:
*Is she crazy?
*Is she addicted to drugs?
*Do you think one bad accident like what we expeirenced will kill off my old mom forever? (link)
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Here are some things which might help me answer your question. How old was your brother? How did he die; accident, suicide, natural causes? Does your mother have a partner?
We lost my sister almost 5 years ago now. It's been tough. She died at age 30 of natural causes (sudden blood clot). We were 13 months apart. We were best friends/worst enemies.
My daughter was less than a year old when my sister died. I know, being a mother, that it would be extremely hard for me to keep living if my only child died. It's possible that your mother, for all she isn't doing, is doing all she can.
My own mother has hidden away every year on both my sister's birthday and the aniversary of her death. For a couple of weeks both before and after, she is a freak. She hides in her darkened room with a ton of romance novels and doesn't talk to anyone (only my father a little bit). She turns off the phone. She takes a few days off of work. When she goes back to work, she starts gradually to come out of it. I presume that this year, being number 5, will hit her harder as what would have been my sister's 35th birthday did.
I think your mother is likely still depressed, clinically, and that she is just surviving. She may not have any energy for anything else. There are a couple of things you can do - be sensitive around this time and ask her whether she'd like her space or whether she would like company. Ask her whether she'd like to talk about your brother, go to the cemetery, or whatever.
I don't know whether you can make this happen, but
can you get someone, like your grandmother, your father, etc., to suggest family counseling?
Yes, the death of a loved one (and possibly worse, depending on circumstances) can permanently destroy someone if she lets it. I don't think your mom is likely crazy, just depressed. Is she addicted to drugs? Likely she'd dependent on drugs because they treat a real problem, like someone who needs insulin (we don't say they're addicted). You can't get addicted to Tylenol, Ibuprofen, or other over-the-counter pain relievers. Depression hurts us physically. There's a drug to take care of that, also, called Cymbalta, which she can discuss with her doctor.
I hope you can get your mom to pull out of this. If you can't, please just make sure she doesn't pull you down with her. You still have so much of life to experience. Some of it's going to be difficult (especially without your mother being active in your life), but life *is* worthwhile. Keep being strong.
Sabine
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I got my ear cartilage pierced a year ago in december. Well I kept it in for a whole year and it didn't cause me any problems. It completely healed. But the past 3 months or so my piercing got sore and and inflamed and formed a hard bump. It feels like there is a hugs pimple under the skin. But it surrounds the hole. I researched it and I'm guessing it is a Keloid. The hole is still there, but is it safe to keep wearing an earring in the hole? Or should I let it alone? Will the keloid go away? I saw some pretty disturbing pictures on the internet...it isn't going to spread is it? I'm quite worried. (link)
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Hi. It's unusual for a keloid scar to form a year after the piercing, but it can happen. I can't say that's just what it is from here, but I can give you some tips. Buy some over-the-counter cortisone cream. You can get store brands. Get the 10% if it's available. You can rub that into the skin near the hole. If you insert a ring, put the cortisone cream on the metal of the earring before inserting it. My ears are really sensitive to metals, so I do that, but I also use just piercing studs. I hope this helps with the bump. Rub the area aggressively - but not until it hurts - to break down the scar tissue. If it doesn't make a difference within about a month, I'd bring it up at my next doctor's appointment.
Sabine
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Hi, I am my cats favorite, he is with me when I sleep, do my homework, watch tv, he waits for me when im in the shower, scratches my room door if i keep it closed. HE LOVES ME! thast not the weird part, lately he has been bringing things to my bedroom. He will bring a slipper to my room, drop it infront of me and leave, or if my door is closed he meows outside my room with the item in his mouth and as soon as i open the door he drops it and keeps walking, yesterday while I was sleeping he brought a RUG into my room from the basement! Do you know why he is doing this or is it his own unique hobby???? (link)
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Wow, he *does* love you. He's bringing you gifts. If he were allowed to go outside, he'd be bringing you smelly dead animals, most likely. It's his instinct to bring you prey and since he's so far from wild, a sock or whatever he can find will have to do. I would make sure he has a lot of toys. Play with him when you can. Other than that, accept his gifts graciously, thanking him, praising him for providing so well for you, and giving him love, and put the toaster or whatever gift he's brought you back where it belongs. I don't think you can break this habit without completely insulting and confusing your cat.
Sabine
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okay well first of all i'm 13 and a girl and i have a friend and the other day her boyfriend tried to lift up my skirt so do i tell her?
i mean i know he was only messing around but still should i?
plz help! && thanks so much! (link)
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Don't drag your friend into this. She didn't do anything and she's not in charge of his behavior. Let him know that this is unacceptable and you don't take kindly to it. Don't be with him where she can't see what's going on because he probably won't do it in front of her. If he does it again, do what you think is right. Personally, I'd prepare to defend myself. I wouldn't care if they said "she can't take a joke" because it's not a joke. It's cruelty.
Sabine
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i have a heaert condition called SVT. thats the abreviated version i think the long one is Supraventricular Tachycardia
and it makes my heart beat double fast somtimes and makes me dizzy. there is a proecdure to get rid of it, and it burns off one of the things that maks your heart beat because i have two of them but a normalperson has one. has anyone had this pocedure? i want to get it because this ondition scares me but im also scared of the procedure because they would make me unconcious so if anyone has had thi or any other surgerys or anything done could you please tell me about what its been like? the only medical thing ive ever gotten was stitches and i dont know if its wortth it
thank you so much! (link)
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I haven't had this done, but as a nurse, I've been with patients who have. They just give you an I.V., give you some nice medicine that makes your head swim for a couple of seconds before you go to sleep and then you wake up in the recovery room. You might be a little bit nauseated (depending on how you handle the anesthesia) and you might have some pain at the site where they put the catheter into your vein.
While you're asleep, they put a catheter into a vein, usually in your groin area, and insert a long, sterile, skinny tube. They snake that up to your heart and see if, by touching certain areas, they can find the place where the nerves are stimulating the irregular beats. Once they have found the area, they just zap it with a laser or radio wave. You don't feel it and most likely won't have any chest pain after you're through. The laser or wave is very small and focused and it's very unlikely that they would damage other structures. If the doctor even thinks there MIGHT be a small chance of hurting something else, s/he won't do it.
The procedure is nearly always safer than the disease. If you don't have it done, you can do things like pass out in the bath/shower. You can hit your head, etc. You're at higher risk not having it done.
I've had a *lot* of procedures done. I've had a heart catheterization, bone marrow biopsies, 8 abdominal surgeries, I can't even COUNT the number of EGDs (tube down my throat). Your procedure is going to be simple : you will go in, get an I.V., go to sleep, and wake up fixed and likely with little or no pain. Believe this, because even though there is a very slight chance of pain or a complication, you have to believe it won't happen to you. A good attitude is a great defense against complications. Really. You will be just fine.
Sabine
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I need to find white, pointy toed stilettos ASAP! I've looked EVERYWHERE I can think of, but nobody carries them. Any websites I could order them from? or maybe stores I've over-looked? (preferably no more than $35) Thanks! (link)
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Did you look in bridal stores/sites? They sometimes have white dress shoes. Then there are places like Payless where they have white dye-able satin pumps.
Sabine
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My bedroom use to be upstairs,down the hall from my parents and across from my sisters room, they shared one.
Im the oldest daughter by the way.
but then my parents had this guy add a room onto the house, and its on the floor below.
Any tips to help me sleep down there, for some reason im scared because the front door and back porch are like right there and someone could easly break in. and its different, because i dont have a tv.
so for the past 2 months shes been sleeping on a couch in my parents room. Pathetic i know..
Is there any ideas to help me like sleep in myown room
xox justine (link)
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Two things:
1) Has anyone broken in all the time you were sleeping upstairs? Why would it happen now? It's not that common, unless you live in a cruddy neighborhood. Why would it happen just because you're downstairs?
2) Go into your room. Have your parent go up to their room and tell them you're going to do this. Scream as loud as you can and make sure they can hear it. Have them scream or yell so you can tell what they can hear. Borrow a baby monitor if you'd like for a while, so your mom and dad can hear you if you really need something.
There's always the nightlight and the possibility of switching rooms with one of your sisters if that's practical.
Sabine
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OK MOST OF YOU SAID SANDY IS JEALOUS AND I agree with your answer that Sandy is jealous. But what would possess Sandy to say Mary isnt thin and isnt single digit sizes: STORY TO REFRESH YOUR MEMORY: Mary (who is very thin) and Sandy (who is chunky) are coworkers. They met in the hallway of their office and Mary told Sandy she got a parking spot right across the street. As Sandy and Mary parted company for some reason Sandy decided to scream out to Mary “Exercise”. Later on in the day Mary decided she was curious as to what Sandy meant so she went to confront Sandy. Sandy said she mentioned exercise because she is concerned about her heart. However, Mary wouldn’t let it rest and decided to ask “Sandy do you think I am thin?” As Sandy was putting stuff away in her desk drawer Sandy replied to Mary “You are average, size 8”, paused to put the other items in the desk drawer and said “size 10.” Sandy spotted a girl not to far away and called her in and said “What size do you take?” The girl replied “Size 6, why?” Sandy replied “Because Mary thinks I think she is heavy.” Mary left and went back to her desk. About four co-workers saw Mary and asked Mary what was wrong and Mary told them the story. Her co-workers said to her “Mary you are thin/skinny and cannot be more than a size 4, and not more than 110 pounds. Then Mary said “So why did Sandy say average and size 10 if everyone sees me as skinny/thin size 4?” They replied “Because Sandy is just jealous.” Do you agree/concur with Mary’s friends that Sandy was just a jealous individual? Here are so things herco-workersand friends (I used initials) said after Sandy’s remark: AS: Mary you are so skinny BL: Mary you are thin. JL: No wonder Mary you are so skinny TG: Mary you cannot weigh more than 100 pounds YS: Thin I want to feel you Mary SD: Mary you are thin PK: Thin not just saying that you Mary are thin - cannot weigh more than 90 pounds DP: How do you Mary stay so thin - and you have to be a size 4” JK: Mary you are so thin LF: Mary is a thin person HT: How skinny do you Mary want to be AZ: He is a big man, however, you Mary I can push IP: Mary you are very thin (link)
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Okay, you may not be pleased, but I'm taking one for the team here.
Why do you keep posting these inane questions? Why can't you take at face value what people say? Why must you always confront them, demand to know what they mean, pick their words apart, suggest that they're really saying something which you yourself know to be untrue, and then disblieve them when they say they weren't trying to say something negative about you? Why must you then poll your co-workers and then your fellow advicinators about what we think someone else meant based upon the words you give us? It doesn't matter whether you're Sandy, Mary, Danielle, Joanie, whatever. You have a distinctive way of asking questions.
You need therapy! You can't trust people and you put everyone in an awkward position of having to edit and explain everything they say. Why is Sandy's exercise about YOU? Don't you think she knows she's heavy? You think everything is an attack on you. You wear people out. No wonder you're on this board asking people who did not witness the conversation to reassure you that most people say what they mean. We weren't there. We didn't see the body language. Yet over and over we reassure you that if someone says "no, I didn't mean that," then no, she probably didn't mean that.
You need help trusting people. They don't all have nefarious motives. They're not all saying nasty things about you and trying to bring you down. And they're not thinking about YOU all of the time, which is apparently something you do too much of. Yes. That's really what I said. You internalize and personalize everything everyone says to the point that no one can say anything or you'll get up in their faces about it.
Please, take the leap of faith that everyone in the world is not trying to insult you. I get stressed out just reading your questions because your life must be miserable and you bring it on yourself.
Sabine
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me and my boyfriend were together for about 6 months i went away and we both cheated he tryd to have sex with his x and it really hurt me so bad hes a compulsive liar to the point were he was goin to go to counceling now nothing is the same between us i love him so much i think im depressed when im not with him i sit at home waitin for him to call but he drinks to much im scared hel do it again. we fight about 3 times a day what am i sposed to do ! HELP (link)
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Yup. They nailed it.
A guy who "cheats," who is a compulsive liar, an alcohol abuser, and someone who fights with you three times a day? Where are you gonna find another like that? Hopefully, nowhere. Would you keep a friend who always lied to you, let you down, drank excessively, and fought with you several times a day? Why is this worthwhile for you? Seriously.
I assume you have either school or a career to devote your time and attention to. Please get out of this situation before you accidentally bring a child into this messed-up situation.
There's someone else out there for you as soon as you decide you don't need to be treated this way.
Sabine
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can bulimia cause esopagus problems?? and if so what are some sign and sympotoms of this?? (link)
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In addition to what others said, bulemia can also cause intractible hiccups from irritating the diaphragm, tears in the esophagus which can be fatal if untreated, and a condition called Barrett's esophagus, which starts you on the road to nasty, incurable esophageal cancer.
Some problems you might expect to see early on are the decay of your teeth, mainly in back, from acid. You'll feel pain behind your breastbone and maybe have an acidy taste in your mouth. You might get food coming up all the time involuntarily. You might start to see streaks of blood in your vomit. Then, if you were bleeding enough, your stool would start to look black, and tarry, since you'd be passing digested blood. You'd start to have pain and difficulty with swallowing. You may have pain directly behind your navel.
Sabine
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To get this out of the way... :D I am 16/f and this might be little bit long but please bear with me here :D
So I have been going out with this guy named Ryan for little over a month (which is my surprise and to everyone else as well because I never had relationship longer than 2 weeks but thats beside the point)
When we were hitting 2nd week into our relationship, he told me he loved me. I didn't say it back because I wasnt sure and he said it was okay and totally understanding so that's cool and out of the way.
But now it seems like I have to chase for him to like me. (well not exactly but I have to try and go out my way to ... well... like is the only word I can think of)
I mean just the other day, he stood me up because he forgot. I know he has terrible memory and whatnot but still that's not a good enough of an excuse right? i mean I understand if I didn't remind him about it but I had reminded about our meet over 5 times.
Also he again forgot to call to discuss when we can meet again after he promised. I know i know guys forget to call but he didn't have to promise about it which would've been lot better off.
So now I am not sure what to do. This lady whom I confide in lot of things (because she's a good listener and had been through all this...she's over 30 by the way but totally cool for her age :D) well she thinks i should end it right now because there's no point into being in a relationship if I have to chase after for it.
My friends thinks im being paranoid and unappreciative.
Which makes me more confused than ever. I can not go into details about this but I have hard time processing and have things thought out or even make a choice so please help
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This is coming from another person who's over 30 but totally cool for my age:
Don't play games. Don't let him play games. You don't have time for it.
Ask him flat-out whether he wants to be with you because 'going out' is precisely that - it's a verb, not just a state of being. If he wants to be in a relationship with you, he has to put in the work and time. He's going to have to make a committment to remembering your dates and make an effort to call. Otherwise, yeah, you're just wasting your time. And before you know it, you'll be all old and over 30! ;)
Sabine
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Will taking chromium picolinate supplements really help boost my metabolism?
Please only answer if you actually know for sure.
Thanks! (link)
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The problem, dear, is that no one knows for sure. The nutritional supplements like this do not have to go through the trials that drugs have to go through in order to get approved. There are no reliable, broad-based studies that show whether chromium picolinate does or does not work. Anyone who claims to be able to tell you for sure is either selling c.p. or speaking from anecdotal evidence, not from a proper, placebo-controlled, double-blind study which is the proof that is generally needed for someone to "know for sure" whether a neutraceutical or drug works. Sorry I didn't have a simple yes or no answer for you. The only thing proven to help boost metabolism is increasing your muscle mass.
Sabine
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hey im 14/f
okay so. Im part asian, well mostly asian. i have brown hair and grayish eyes. my best feature is my eyes. but i have one problem. My nose is not extremely flat but its like a widish asian nose. and it does not go along with the rest of my face.
i was wondering if there is any makeup tricks to make my nose look slimmer and not as wide looking.
THANKS SO MUCH (link)
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You can also use two shades of foundation. Use your regular one to draw a line down the top of your nose. Then, use one a shade darker on the sides of your nose. Blend well. That helps create a slimmer effect.
Sabine
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is it true that you can mostly get pregnate on ur period or right after ur period ? (link)
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No. The truth is that most women ovulate about the 11th - 14th day after the start of their period. That means that if you bleed for seven days, you're most likely to be fertile in about a week after that. You're only fertile for a couple of days every month.
Sabine
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Pls help me, I'm so confused! I'm 17/M, and black. I've always been real popular with the girls and I never questioned my sexuality bfore but now I do cuz I'm very confused about my friend Steven.
He is very different from my other friends who are mostly hiphoppers, he's got spiky, black hair that is long in one side and I think hes gothic - very pale and white, and like real skinny and pretty like a girl. He also has many of his friends wearin' only black.
He is one year younger than me and I guess I've been quite protective towards him all along. I always stood up for him when some of the other black guys wanted to beat him up because he's white and wears gothic-kindda clothes and even eyeliner.
Latey I've become more and more obsessed with Steven and I can't stop thinking about him when we're not together and even think of how it would be to have sex with him?
I know that he's bisexual cuz he's told me, and I think he knows the effect he has on me and it's like it's humouring him. I sometimes get the feeling that he's actually teasing me and I don't know what to do
I try to convince myself that it's just curiousity, but I'm not too sure? I have NEVER been attracted to any other male bfore and I really don't want to be gay! It would be such trouble with my friends, my family, my whole life!
I relly need some advice, and fast! (link)
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I agree with the second answer. Having a crush on a guy doesn't make you gay. In fact, I think there's a spectrum of sexuality. There's straight on one side, completely homoaffectionate on the other, and in the middle are many, many shades in between. 'Gay,' 'Straight,' and 'Bisexual' are just labels. You are what you are. And so far all you know is that you usually like girls and you're curious about one effeminate-sounding boy. There's nothing wrong with that! Be who you are and don't worry about the categories. Relax. If you do something with Steven, know that it doesn't make you gay or bisexual, all it makes you is a guy who wanted to see what it was like with this one guy.
Sabine
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i got my first period on feb.16 2007 and i had it for like a week. when should i be getting my next one. ? thankss (link)
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You should be getting your next one anytime between tomorrow and a year from now. Periods are notoriously unpredictable in the first few years. It also depends on how old you are. If you start when you're older (15 or 16), they tend to be more regular. When they become regulated, most women get their periods about every 28 days and they have active menstruation for 5-7 days each month.
Sabine
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What's the biggest size bottles of sunscreen come in?
I need the strongest kind and I'll have to wear it eveyrday all over my body fo lie two months during the heat so I don't get a tan for my grad and those little bottles would probably last a day and I don't have much money!
Oh and if you say, get a tan for the rest of your body I'll rate you a 1 right away because I obviously don't want a tan (link)
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Okay... what you can do is go to WalMart, where they usually have something called No-Ad sunscreen. You can get it in SPF 45 or 50, which should block out just about everything. It comes in 32 oz bottles, I believe, and is fairly inexpensive. I have a bottle that's lasted me and my family through a few summers.
Now, that being said, there are probably kinder ways you could have added that last part. Many of us are offended when someone asks for advice and then includes a threat. If someone gives you advice you don't like, you can always ignore it, or you can say something like "I really don't want to get a tan, so please tell me only how to keep from getting one." That's less hostile and might make people less likely to decide to ignore your question because of the perception of a bad attitude. You will be received better, get better advice, and get more people willing to address your needs if you are kind and open. Just a little extra advice. If you don't like it, you're free to ignore it.
Sabine
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when you have sex is it really necessary to be on the pill and have the guy wear a condom? or is it safe enough to just have a condom (link)
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What Lady H said is definitely true. I'd also like to point out that the pill does not protect you from STDs such as HIV, herpes, or HPV (which causes cancer). If you and your partner are not both virgins, you should get clear STD checks before having intercourse without a condom. If it's about avoiding pregnancy, then you're safer with two methods. You can use a condom plus spermicidal gel or foam if you can't take the pill for any reason (including tobacco use).
Sabine
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