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FOLLOWUP
OK MOST OF YOU SAID SANDY IS JEALOUS AND I agree with your answer that Sandy is jealous. But what would possess Sandy to say Mary isnt thin and isnt single digit sizes: STORY TO REFRESH YOUR MEMORY: Mary (who is very thin) and Sandy (who is chunky) are coworkers. They met in the hallway of their office and Mary told Sandy she got a parking spot right across the street. As Sandy and Mary parted company for some reason Sandy decided to scream out to Mary “Exercise”. Later on in the day Mary decided she was curious as to what Sandy meant so she went to confront Sandy. Sandy said she mentioned exercise because she is concerned about her heart. However, Mary wouldn’t let it rest and decided to ask “Sandy do you think I am thin?” As Sandy was putting stuff away in her desk drawer Sandy replied to Mary “You are average, size 8”, paused to put the other items in the desk drawer and said “size 10.” Sandy spotted a girl not to far away and called her in and said “What size do you take?” The girl replied “Size 6, why?” Sandy replied “Because Mary thinks I think she is heavy.” Mary left and went back to her desk. About four co-workers saw Mary and asked Mary what was wrong and Mary told them the story. Her co-workers said to her “Mary you are thin/skinny and cannot be more than a size 4, and not more than 110 pounds. Then Mary said “So why did Sandy say average and size 10 if everyone sees me as skinny/thin size 4?” They replied “Because Sandy is just jealous.” Do you agree/concur with Mary’s friends that Sandy was just a jealous individual? Here are so things herco-workersand friends (I used initials) said after Sandy’s remark: AS: Mary you are so skinny BL: Mary you are thin. JL: No wonder Mary you are so skinny TG: Mary you cannot weigh more than 100 pounds YS: Thin I want to feel you Mary SD: Mary you are thin PK: Thin not just saying that you Mary are thin - cannot weigh more than 90 pounds DP: How do you Mary stay so thin - and you have to be a size 4” JK: Mary you are so thin LF: Mary is a thin person HT: How skinny do you Mary want to be AZ: He is a big man, however, you Mary I can push IP: Mary you are very thin
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Maybe give some free advice about: Random Weirdos?
Okay, you may not be pleased, but I'm taking one for the team here.
Why do you keep posting these inane questions? Why can't you take at face value what people say? Why must you always confront them, demand to know what they mean, pick their words apart, suggest that they're really saying something which you yourself know to be untrue, and then disblieve them when they say they weren't trying to say something negative about you? Why must you then poll your co-workers and then your fellow advicinators about what we think someone else meant based upon the words you give us? It doesn't matter whether you're Sandy, Mary, Danielle, Joanie, whatever. You have a distinctive way of asking questions.
You need therapy! You can't trust people and you put everyone in an awkward position of having to edit and explain everything they say. Why is Sandy's exercise about YOU? Don't you think she knows she's heavy? You think everything is an attack on you. You wear people out. No wonder you're on this board asking people who did not witness the conversation to reassure you that most people say what they mean. We weren't there. We didn't see the body language. Yet over and over we reassure you that if someone says "no, I didn't mean that," then no, she probably didn't mean that.
You need help trusting people. They don't all have nefarious motives. They're not all saying nasty things about you and trying to bring you down. And they're not thinking about YOU all of the time, which is apparently something you do too much of. Yes. That's really what I said. You internalize and personalize everything everyone says to the point that no one can say anything or you'll get up in their faces about it.
Please, take the leap of faith that everyone in the world is not trying to insult you. I get stressed out just reading your questions because your life must be miserable and you bring it on yourself.
Sabine
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