Hello, call me Abby =] I'm eighteen and a senior in high school this year. I've always had great advice, I'm just not so great at following it =P Feel free to ask me anything, I'll do my best to give you an answer.
Gender: Female
Age: 18
Member Since: February 10, 2007
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Last Update: May 3, 2012
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If my uncles were to get married in Massachusetts and moved to another state that does not perform civil unions or same sex marriages, will they still be considered married by the state?
Also, what's the difference between a civil union and gay marriage? I know obviously there is a strong social meaning to saying you're "married" but my mom said that because of the Defense of Marriage Act, even if youre a gay couple married in Mass. that on a federal level, you aren't given any benefits?
Thanks (link)
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Their marriage is only recognized completely in the state of Mass. Some gay couples move to places where marriage for them is legal and recognized.
In a civil union, depending on the state, the rights the couple has are limited. For example, in a normal marriage, a man and woman could share health care benefits, etc. In a civil union that can't happen. In my family, my mom provides the health insurance for all of us, so if she for some reason married a woman, the woman would not be covered. Other rights such as these are not given to gay couples.
It's pretty unfair to me, because these people pay their taxes like any other citizen but aren't allowed the same rights. There are plenty of people who treat marriage as a joke and go to drive thru chapels in Las Vegas but they are given every right, and gay couples who really want to take it seriously. That's just my opinion.
Best of luck to your uncles if they plan on getting married,
-Abby
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I really don't understand why I'm still single. I'm 16, and a Junior in High School. I've never had a boyfriend, a first kiss, and I'm waiting to have sex until im older. And I've always been told by everyone that I'm very beautiful. It's just so weird that I've never had a boyfriend. Maybe it's because I'm quite shy in classes and stuff? I know of many guy's who have liked me throughout my years in school..but, they never asked me out. Friends say it's because I intimidate them? Which I don't get at all. I'm a very nice and kind girl. But, I know I could probably learn to be more outgoing. I don't know..I just don't have much to say in class because I'd rather listen to the teacher. I mean, I'm a junior, and I'd like to graduate next year..so I try and keep my grades up. Don't get me wrong though, I'm extemely social when it comes to lunch, gym, and certain classes that are full of my friends. Even outside of school I'm very social. But, I always have this shyness..even around my friends =/. I don't know why..I just do. I just wish I knew why I don't have a boyfriend! Almost everyone has a boyfriend. I know a lot of guy's respect me because I'm not the "slutty" type of girl, and I don't plan on changing who I am just to get a guy to want to be with me. I'm very happy with who I am. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong?
Any advice on this will be greatly appreciatted. Thankyou! (link)
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I don't have a great answer for you, but I just want to say that I can relate.
I'm 16 and in the same boat as you. It feels pretty weird because everyone goes on about their boyfriends and what they've done and I wonder why I just haven't been that way with a guy.
The way I kind of see it is, the girls who get hit on are from guys who are looking for a "hook up", not a girlfriend. They go for girls they think they can get and if your intimidating they might not try. I don't put myself out there in a sexual or slutty way and I don't think thats a bad thing. A guy may see a pretty, flirty girl and want to hook up with her.
I think shyness is the problem. I don't open up to guys that much and how can we expect them to like us if we don't get to know them and vice versa?
Making yourself seem easy and hooking up with random guys isnt' the answer and it's not fulfilling. I'll tell you what I'm trying to do this new school year; be more open, friendly, and talk to more people. It's hard to come out of your shell but we just have to try.
Good luck,
-Abby
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Okay. I'm 20yrs old, Female, about 5'3ish and I weigh around 155. Most of my weight is in mystomachand love handle area, I just started walking, I can't really run, cause of my quick weight gain and it puts strain on my knees, I only I guess "speed" walk on a treadmill for abou 15mins. I'm also on the debo shot (been on it for almost a yr in Nov) and I know that makes you gain weight, so I plan on changing that also.
I just need to know of any good websites, that I don't have to pay for to help me with a meal plan. Keep in mind that my daily life is VERY different, I work a 3rd night shift and sleep during the day (not all day just from 8am-4pm, getting the full 8hrs) Or if there are any deits things I can buy to help me weight lost go a little faster, I've never been this big and I'm startin to feel really uncomfortable about my self, and that is nothing like me, I was 105 for the longest time an I have gained so much weigh with inthe past yr and half.
I just need some sort of good advice on what my best bet is going to be with losing ths weigh that i have gained. (link)
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There are websites that are free that can motivate you and give useful tips, but really you need to find something that fits into your life. When I first started going to the gym, a lot of the machines hurt my knees and I had to stick to the treadmill for a while. My friend told me I had weak knees, and I wasn't so sure, but now I can go on any of the machines without knee pain. Build up your strength and endurance.
Cardio makes me feel thinner any day, so switch it up and try different machines or stick to one. Whenever I hit the gym I go for a MINIMUM of 30 mins. It's suggested someone gets thirty mins of cardio a day, which is hard to fit in, so get it while you can. You could do ten minutes of running on the tread mill as many times a day as you can. Breaking it up might make it seem easier. My mom walks on the treadmill for long periods of time while I prefer doing something faster for a smaller amount of time. If you can devote the time to walking, then it can help you lose weight, but running will give you faster results.
Weight/resistance training builds muscle making you look toned, and it helps increase your metabolism.
Start low and work your way up with the weights.
Diet is probably the most important part. You need to eat the right food to give you energy for the workouts. Don't start a crazy diet that is un-managable, start small. Remember, you need to make lifestyle changes that stick with you.
Try throwing away some junk food items. Replace items you like with the fat-free, low fat, low carb, etc versions (almost all popular brands have these diet friendly alternatives).
Fill up on fruits and vegetables. If your feeling hungry, drink a glass of water before going to any food. You may find that you really aren't that hungry. If I'm craving something, waiting 10 minutes usually allows me to lose that craving.
Almonds are also filling. A tip I heard from someone was to keep almonds in your purse to eat when your out and hungry. Eating out makes it a lot harder to control what you eat and how many calories are in it.
Look up your favorite restaurants nutrition facts, I guarantee you will be surprised.
http://www.niveausa.com/highlights/local_highlight/local_gbc_challenge
The nivea challenge is starting again soon, and I've looked through it when it was running and it had a guide that will work if you follow it. It depends how dedicated you are to following a plan.
http://www.50millionpounds.com/
This site is pretty cool also. It has good tips and a large following.
The best advice I can give you is find work outs you like and can stick to. Getting bored or frustrated can easily de-rail anyone. Mix it up, try different classes like yoga, dance, pilates, spinning, even pole dancing! Go for hikes or walks in scenic areas. Just try to yourself as much as possible, even though it's hard. Trust me, I know. But it is possible. Think about the people who lose hundreds of pounds! You don't sound like you have a lot to lose anyway. I'm your height and I weigh 133. Don't pay attention to the number, because if you check your BMI, theres a decent range for someone in our height bracket. Two people can be 120 pounds and one can look too thin and another can look overweight. And muscle weight accounts for some too.
Sorry for being so long but I just really want to help motivate you! I've lost weight already by simply adding some exercise to my life.
Email me at tropicalbreeze92@yahoo.com if you ever want to talk about it or need some advice, I'm trying to tone up/lose a little weight too so maybe we can help each other out.
Good luck and Don't give up!
Abby
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I'm a nanny for two children, ages 3 and 5. I've worked with children ages infant - 10 years old, and I've never seen ANYTHING like these two. They are completely disobedient, they hit me, they call me names, they lie, and they have an EXTREME dependency on their parents. As a nanny, my responsibilty is to wake them in the morning, get them dressed, feed them, brush teeth and hair, and take them to daycare. The father leaves for work before they wake but the mother is still home. The children don't let me anywhere near them without them screaming and throwing a fit and wanting mommy. I've tried everything I can: fun activities, secrets, codenames, I bought them fish because they wanted pets, presents, treating them like friends, being the "adult". I've tried everything I can think of! Please, any ideas on how to get these children to become somewhat civilized? (link)
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First I suggest talking to the parents. Ask them what they do discipline wise, and what they would find appropiate for you to do. Many parents clash over this type of thing; some of the most misbehaving children come from parents who think their perfect little angels could never do a thing wrong.
You need to gain respect and to do that you have to instill a level of fear in the child. Not that they will be scared to come near you, but that they will know what bad behavior will get them. I suggest time outs, taking away toys, treats, etc. Don't threaten to do so, you must follow through. Thats also a pitfall for many parents, they give in too early.
I would start with the five year old, he/she will understand you better and the younger one sees him/her as a role model and will follow suit. You could talk to he/she about how they are the older sibling and how you need the help with the younger because they are a big boy/girl. Kids from 3-6 are very much wanting to assert some independence and prove they aren't a little baby anymore.
You can tell them you will reward them but it has to go along with punishments too. They can take advantage of you if you only offer treats.
You could make a chart where they can place a sticker in a box for each day they were well behaved or for each activity they did well and once they recieve so many they get a prize.
They need to know that you are the boss once you get there. If their mother is present they feel like they can disregard you. Ask the mom if you can bring the kids to a room away from her until she leaves or if the mom can stay hidden from the children's view.
They may not see you as a threat because you are so kind and fun, but theres time for that after they become well behaved.
I suggest talking to the parents and choosing a plan of action and following through.
Good luck and keep trying!
-Abby
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I'm reallllly crushing on my best friend who I became friends with in the first place because I knew he liked me. We're total nerds and we have soooo much in common. this past summer, we were emailing each other and stuff which I thought brought our relationship a little higher, you know? Sooo here comes the new school year, and he's not nearly as outgoing as last year. we've walked together a couple times from class to class and even got lost together. we got lost on purpose, but it wasn't planned on. he just kinda walked right past the right door and I followed cuz I knew what he was trying to do... we had a mild conversation in the hallways while we were lost, he kept stuttering and keeping his distance. lately I've been trying to decode what he was trying to show me through that. I tried to start a conversation, but it would always end up being clipped short. once he finally DID say something, it was something like "uh... dd... eh..." and a lot of blushing. what was he trying to say? please help me i'm going stir crazy here lol :) xoxo (link)
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I deffinitely think he likes you. Tell tale signs are if he becomes less out going around you and more shy, he might be nervous since he likes you. It isn't easy for any guy to ask a girl that he likes out, even the guy who acts like he could care less. If he's a nerdy type like you said, he's probably just extra shy. Help him out! If he starts stuttering again, you could make a bold move and give him a kiss (not neccesarily on the lips, I think the cheek is a very cute option)or you could try to finish his sentences. Smile to reassure him. Drop hints that you like him. If he only wanted to be your friend, I'm sure he wouldn't act so nervous around you.
Good luck,
Abby
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So I've liked this guy for a little while, and I park where he parks at school. If I can help it, I'll time it right so that he parks behind me or in front of me. He and his friends have this myspace for a joke band they have. And, I looked and he wrote a really bad song about me saying that i stalk him. I'm freaking out and I don't know what to do! help pleaseee (link)
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Wow, I am so sorry I did not see your question when you asked it, two years ago! I guess I have been on and off on this website.
I'll still answer it though, and maybe if you still hang around the site you can tell me how it turned out and if my advice would have been good?
I would have said to make yourself seem untouchable. Thats when guys want you the most, sometimes. Try not to get there at the same time, and if you do, don't even look at him. Pretend to have a conversation on your phone with a friend talking about a hot date you had or with that fake guy saying how you can't wait to see him.
After a few days park a little further away, just so where he can see you but you won't be close enough for it to be considered "stalking".
I wouldn't have confronted him about the song because that means you saw their myspace, making him think you "cyber stalk" him.
Basically I would have told you to look confident, show no interest in him, and make it seem like you are doing fantastically without him. No one can make him like you except for himself, but at least he couldn't accuse you of stalking him.
I hope you got the situation cleared up then!
-Abby
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Hey i was wondering, theres this song "The Circle" by Adam Lambert or by Citizen Vein and i cant find it anywhere to dowload it free. Can you help me out? (link)
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I use itunes and pay for my music, mostly because the free downloading programs slow my computer down. The only one I've known to work well for people is LimeWire, so thats the only advice I can give you.
Good luck,
Abby
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Hello All,
The past 10 years have left me best set up for a career path in Education but my recent experience teaching has left me with serious doubts about my fit with the profession. I feel like it has overwhelmed or suppressed many of my true passions and talents (re: travel, writing, music & art), which I abandoned long ago because my family advised me that such things were impractical.
Now I'm 28 years old, living at home with my parents and working part-time as a substitute for a local suburban school district (having spent a very stressful and unhealthy first year teaching in another district the year before),and running out of the money I saved up - making it difficult to make car and insurance payments.
I'd love to live downtown and get involved in the art scene once again and be close to my boyfriend, but I'm concerned about working in an urban school district or even working as a teacher again in general - but at this point I'm concerned to take just any kind of job because I don't want it to reflect poorly on my resume in the future by seeming like a step down from where I already am. Also, I'm afraid I would seem overqualified or too old to apply for certain kinds of jobs.
Being a teacher makes the most financial sense (and I really need the money)- I am just having a hard time trying to find a happy medium and fearing that if I don't set out on the correct path for myself now, it will be too late to change course in another 5 years' time.
What do you think I should do?
I feel like I am having an existential crisis in the midst of a financial one.
Best Wishes All,
Wanderlust&Lost
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In the teaching field, there is always room for improvement. The teachers that pick a school district and stick around get more options and more money as they work longer. I suggest finding a happy medium instead of jumping onto the art scene, just for financal security. Look into schools in the area you want to live and see if you can get a job. But do you want to live there for an extended period of time? If you see yourself in the next five years having kids and wanting to raise them in the suburbs, I suggest working at a school district in that area where you could send them.
Ever consider teaching art classes or creative writing classes? You could do that within or outside of a school district, and I think you would enjoy that type of work. Art teachers aren't paid as much so you could do that on the side, and if its outside of a school, you won't need the highest qualifications.
My aunt told me to follow my heart and the pay check would come later. If you find something you are passionate about, your skills and hard work will shine. Hopefully employers will see that and want to hire you.
Try to gain experience where you can and maybe going back to school part time will open some doors for you. Really, do what will make you happy. Because money will get you nice things but if you aren't fulfilled from the inside and what you do, its not worth it at all.
Take it from me. I went through a major depressive period because I didn't like where I was. My family is well off and I have nice things and almost everything I want. Still I went to school every day and felt sad. Having designer items, an expensive car, a big house, its all great but won't solve any problems.
Think, what could you imagine doing every day and not getting tired of? (watching tv doesn't count haha)
Good luck,
Abby
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okay so i have brown/dark skin so they don't show up too bad on my arm, but its still really obvious. does anyone know of a medcine or something that is avalible in the uk to heal and make scars disappear??? i kinda need it before september! help please (link)
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Like the person below me said, Mederma. I've heard great things about it. No scar removal is fast though, it takes time and it may not go away completely. You can call your doctor (for free) and ask for a reccomendation, or go into a pharmacy (walgreens, rite aid, eckerd, etc) and ask the pharmacist for a reccomendation (Also free).
Good luck,
Abby
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my bf 18th b-day is on Oct. 30, and i want to plan a vacation trip for his birthday!! i wanted some advice on where to take him ...i want like a 5days vacation. im willing to spend like no more than $1,000, its ok if it's a lil over..can someone gives me vacation package deal websites and places to go..It will be only me and him.
Also, we been together for more than 4yrs so its not like i just meet him..im 19! (link)
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Where you live determines a lot of your options, so that info would help me.
I assume you live in the US, so you can get more for your money if you travel within the country. California, Florida, Vegas, New York, etc. Whatever you think your bf would like. Out of the country is more expensive but can be more relaxing to get away. Mexico is cheap now because of Swine Flu but theres a low chance you'll even come near it, especially staying close to your resort. It's the fear factor that scares people, so take advantage of that. I went to Punta Cana Club Med and it was awesome. Wasn't outrageously expensive. Club Med resorts are great, very comfortable but you still get a cultural experience.
Some vacation spots people don't consider are New Zealand and Australia. Both are beautiful and so unique. Europe is a great place if your bf likes history and sightseeing, but it's probably the most expensive.
Ever consider a cruise? You can stop in different countries and enjoy activities on your boat as well. It's a great deal since flying to those places seperately would be more expensive. I went on a cruise to the Bahamas and it was beautiful (Atlantis hotel is incredible).
If your boyfriend likes to have fun, why not go to Disney? Adults enjoy it as much as kids. There is always promotions and deals going on there, and I have family who go in October because theres less of a crowd but its still warm.
Go by his personality and what you think he would like, and maybe call up a travel agent just to see some rates.
Have Fun,
Abby
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Can you help me find this necklace?
http://tinypic.com/r/2vj1i7c/3
Does anybody know where I can get this EXCAT necklace?
Do not tell me to just ear a peace and heart necklace, thats stupid.
I want the EXACT necklace.
And I cannot ask the person where she got it because I have no idea who the real people is.
Thankyou. (link)
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I don't know how old the picture is, so likely the item might not be in stock where it was first sold. I've seen similar stuff to that in stores like Chartlotte Russe, Wet Seal, Target, and just malls in general, so maybe you will have luck finding it there. It's a common design so I bet you can find it or something very close.
Good luck,
Abby
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17/f my friend really wants a car any kind of car if it runs it's good. And her mom said msybe how can she talk her into getting one?? (link)
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To persuade her mom, she should personalize her method. Some parents give in after you bother them for a long time, and some parents like to see you make a plan and give a good argument. For me, I can usually cry or act upset to my dad and he'll give me just about anything (I don't abuse it haha)
Tell your friend to do her research. Find a model of car both her and her mom can agree on (a realistic car) and find approximate costs for gas, insurance, the price of the car, etc. Use a method she thinks will work to give her mom the information and prove that she has put thought into it. Make sure she explains the benefits (running errands for her mom, taking herself to places, etc.) And a way to greatly improve her chances is by coming up with some of the money herself and getting a job if she doesn't already have one.
Good luck to both of you,
Abby
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Hey, so my fiance and I decided we are going to have sex for the first time, Im excited. She told me that when she masterbates, she gets to a point where she feels so good and she orgasms and her vagina pulses, and then she feels like a switch was turned off or something, like she doesnt want to have sex anymore. Any advice on this? Something I can do to her to make her feel amazed without loosing touch. I know theres something called the g spot that she rubs, and she said she loves that because she cums, is that normal? I just dont want to hurt her, I care for her deeply. (link)
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Think about it this way, after you ejaculate you have to get yourself back into the mood to go at it again. After she orgasms its sort of a signal that sex is over, but you can both get back into the mood to have sex again soon after. In average people have it once at a time. You can use toys, foreplay, fantasy, anything that will get you both ready to have sex. You can try to go multiple times but don't worry about it since its the first time for you two.
Stimulating the clitoris and the g-spot are said to be sure fire orgasm zones. But it can be hard for women to orgasm, don't be mad at yourself if it doesn't happen the first time. You need to talk to her, find out what she specifically likes, and how to please her. Cosmopolitan.com has a lot of tips, positions, and ideas for sex. They had a pretty in depth article about stimulating the G spot, maybe you can find it online.
Good luck,
Abby
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I always go to MagicTans spray tan booths, I really like it and you can see the color instantly after it sprays you rather than waiting hours for your tan to show up. I have bought products from neutrogena and loreal as a self tanner, but it sprays on clear. My question is, is there some sort of self tanner that sprays on bronze? (link)
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I haven't seen a spray that goes on instantly bronze, but you can deffinitely get lotions, mousses, or wipes that give instant color. I have lotion from bath and body works that goes on and gives a brown tint with gold glitter (looks really nice) and it gets darker in a couple of hours. In most cases with whatever you use the color increases over time.
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Ok, I'll be turning 16 in March. I know it's a while away, but I already have my permit and I'm planning on getting a hardship. So, I've been kindof thinking about getting a car lately. The thing is, I hardly know anything about cars haha. I know it'll most likely be a used car because 1) It won't be as much of a big deal if I get a dink in it as it would be if it was brand new and 2) I want to help pay for it, but I don't want it to be extremely expensive, for the sake of myself and my parents. So, my question is, what kind of car would you suggest? I'm mostly interested in it's safety features, but I don't want it to be like a minivan or something that's too big for what I'll be using it for. I was thinking about a VMW Beetle, just because I've always loved their unique bodies, but I haven't checked the safety features on it yet. I really don't care about anything like heated seats or sunroofs or whatever. So yeah, suggestions please? Thanks SO much :) (link)
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A used safe car is a great idea. Beetles are like the bugs, easy to crush if you know what I mean.
I have a used 02 honda accord and its pretty nice, and very easy to drive. My dad owns three car shops and wanted me to get a honda because of their durability, they last forever. Toyotas are their competitor and are around the same quality. If your going for an older used model, make sure it has ABS breaking system and air bags. I'd chose a mid sized sedan. If you get one thats a clunker and a lot of metal, the safer you'll be.
Gas mileage is important too!
Go to a lot and be ready to ask questions. Don't buy on the spot. Do your research before buying and you'll be fine.
Good luck,
Abby
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Does anyone know the name of older shows on TLC about large families?
I'm not talking about Table for 12, J&K+8, or 18 Kids and Counting. I mean older shows from years back. I met one of the kids from one of them, and I forgot the name.
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There was that show that aired a couple episodes about quints, is that one you might be talking about? The dillys or something haha
-Abby
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My whole life, so far anyways, has been one, big, miserable hell. I'm going to be 19 in September and I don't feel like I can trust anybody. I've been told I'm pretty even beautiful, but I am not popular. Everybody makes fun of me, all throughout school they've made fun of me. My friends make fun of me, my family makes fun of me, and they do it in front of people who just met me which gives them a bad impression of me. I feel like everyone hates me because of some of the stuff they say. Everyone talks down to me when I say how I feel and I just hate it! Everyone seems to want to know how you feel and then when you tell them, they yell at you! I hate my life, and I hate being alive. No one would miss me if I was dead, so why does God keep me alive? (link)
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You have a purpose, thats why. God loves you. I'm not a religious person, I'm an average teenager. I've been lucky to realize my faith at a low point in my life. I was depressed for months, and I didn't go on any medication. God healed me, and he can heal you. I believe EVERYONE is here for a reason. Think about it. You might not feel important, but your absense would cause a profound difference. It would change your family and friends lives, their decisions, their fates. You think our president would be the same without his kindergarten teacher? We all belong here for a reason, and we are all of equal importance. Don't let anyone make you feel down, or not as good as them, because you are just as good.
Stand up for yourself. Don't take rude comments, people making fun of you, being talked down upon. I don't mean throw a tantrum, but calmly tell them that you don't tolerate immature behavior, and that if they are going to be rude you don't need them in your life. I know a ton of people who are real jerks, and I made good, sincere friends. Nice people who understand you are out there, trust me. Maybe you need to make some new friends to feel better. Get out of your toxic environment and go where you will be appreciated.
Find a purpose. If you can find something you are passionate about and devote time to, you will feel so much better and more focused. I enjoy writing and helping others. You could help a charity cause. Also a huge thing: remember there are people who are way worse off than you are. Possibly seeing them and lending them a hand will help you.
If you want the people in your life to understand, why don't you try to write them a letter. You can gather your thoughts in an organized manner. Don't whine or complain, just write your feelings and how you wish you could fix things.
Giving up isn't an option. You have no where to go but up, things can only get better! Look at your oppurtunities and make the best of life. It won't always be like this, I promise.
If you need to talk, I am always here. If I can help someone get through a depression I would be tremendously happy.
God loves you,
Abby
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to a smashmouth concert that ill have laying in my closet. short 5'1 black hair brown skin... (link)
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Since it's a concert, I'd wear something semi comfy with a hip/rock vibe. Skinny jeans with heels always look good, and if you have a smashmouth tshirt you could wear that. You could make your own and give it edge by cutting the sides and then retying them so its fringed and cutting out part of the neck so it hangs off your shoulders. Any black shirt will look good, and dress it up with long necklaces. If your look is plain, try some hot red lipstick.
Have fun,
Abby
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my question is how do you do pilates? i hear about all these people and celeberities that do pilates excersizes but what is it? id really like to know how they stay so skinny and fit. so someone please help me describe to me in the best detail you can please and thankyou! (link)
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Pilates is usually done in a class, and it involves equiptment a typical gym usually doesn't have. The one I have used is where you put your legs and arms in loops attatched to resistance bands that are on this bench you lay on, so it isn't electric. However, there are pilates work outs you can do without the machines.
It's like a combination of yoga and aerobics, and it involves more then just certain moves. There are principles and breathing techniques that add to the exercise.
Heres some info:
http://pilates.about.com/od/gettingstarted/a/Pil4Beg.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pilates
And heres a video so you can get a feel for it:
http://video.about.com/pilates/Pilates-Exercise--The-Hundred.htm
There are plenty of DVDs you can buy if you get into it, and I bet there are classes near you. Celebritys like Jennifer Aniston and Cameron Diaz do it, so if you like their physique maybe it's worth trying. My friend's mother does it and I think shes in great shape, so it can work for the average person as well.
Good luck,
Abby
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i can't put a tampon in...like i can't see my vagina when i bend over and i found the hole but i don't want to force it in you know? how hard are you suppose to push? and whats the best position so i can actually see what i'm doing/ thanks. i'm a virgin btw so could it be that i'm that tight to where it won't fit? i'm using the smaller/regular ones to start too. (link)
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It took me months to use tampons, but it was really worth it. I couldn't get it in at all, and it really hurt as far up as I could get it. Most of my friends have had the same experience. Your vagina is not used to having anything inside of it, and a tampon stretches it basically. Sex for the first time hurts because the penis is bigger than what the vagina is used to, and the breaking of the hymen in some cases.
I was only sucessful laying down. I laid on my bed and spread my legs and that was the best position for me. If you can get a hand mirror to help you see what you are doing it may be really helpful. Try different ones to see what works for you.
I read that you can practice by getting into a bathtub full of warm water so you are relaxed and just try inserting it. A lot of the tension is created by your frustration.
There are slender fit tampons for people with smaller vaginas that you can try, it might be easier for the first time, or you may find that your vagina is more on the "slender" side.
A cause of pain could also be your hymen. It is a flap of skin covering but not obscuring the opening of the vagina. Some girls are born without one, some girls have a hymen covering the hole completely and have to have it removed by a doctor. I broke my hymen inserting my tampon the first time. That might be whats paining you, so maybe if you cant get it in after some more trying, go see a gynocologist. If he/she is a professional doctor you will not be laughed at.
Good luck and keep trying,
Abby
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