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My name is Elly and I am 18 years old. I live in Michigan and I graduated High School in '07. I'm currently attending a great college, but I'm home for the summer. It's too nice outside to sit on the computer all day, so I might not be as active on here as I would like.I guess a good way to describe me is experienced. I've discovered a lot about life and I can't wait to discover more... while having fun at the same time of course! ...BUT, like everyone, I have experienced things in life that I rather wish I hadn't. And I also feel that those bad experiences qualify me to help others with this column.
I have been in a serious relationship for over two and a half years now. I personally know that love is a difficult thing to nurture. It takes a lot of work. Life is NOT a fairytale where two people can simply love each other and everything will just fall into place. It doesn't work like that in the real world.
People on Advicenators are starting to disappoint me. Everyone says "ooh I want to help! I've experienced EVERYTHING!" Yet, I can't tell you how many questions I see with answers like "you could have googled that" or "we're not going to do your homework" or "I'm so sick of 'wow does he like me?!' questions." I used to sort of be like that, but now I realize how hypocritical that is. If I know the answer to a question, I will answer to the best of my ability without making you feel stupid for asking it in the first place. Advicenators is going to turn into a pretty nasty place if people just keep brushing off questions like that.
Rate or don't rate. I really don't care. But don't give me a 1 just because I tell you something you don't want to hear. Go to your mom for advice if you want sugarcoated answers.
I can give excellent advice on:
relationships/sex
friendship
family issues
anything about animals (i worked at a vet for several years)
college
advice
I forget what the flavors were.. but their colors are YELLOW, ORANGE, PINK, OR RED. pick any one of those 4 colors. please dont say something else like "green" because that wont help me at all.. its for this project i have to do in school. thanks for helping! ♥
Pink!!!
So.. tomorrow im going to my boyfreinds hockey game.. it's indoor (well, duh) and so.. i don't know what to wear..
something cute..but something i wont die in outside (keep in mind, todays high is 89 [i live in PA, west side]), but iw ant something that.. if he indroduces me to his hockey friends i wont look like a whore.
:]tahnks.
(I'm assuming your boyfriend plays ice hockey, mind you.)
Wear cute jeans and your favorite tennis shoes/boots. Wear a short-sleeved shirt, but bring along a hoodie in case it gets cold. Just dress like you always do. As long as you're not strutting around the place in a mini skirt and a tube top, I'm sure his friends won't think you're a whore LOL!
Be yourself. If your boyfriend likes you, that should be all the reason his friends need to like you.
if you feel your husband is keep secrects from you and you feel like that is it good to keep it to your self?
sometimes as if he is hiding things from me, things like his phone bill, text messages, and maybe emails too, but i don't have any proof of it and it is bothering me. help me if you can.
Are you two newlyweds?
If so, it's possible that he hasn't adjusted, or simply doesn't want, to share everything with you. Respect his privacy and trust him. If things get really suspicious, for example he quickly shuts down whatever he was doing on the computer when you enter the room, then you might want to confront him about why he's being so secretive.
If you two aren't newlyweds, has this behavior just begun? Was he not like this before? If so, he's def. hiding something. Ask him about why he's changed, but don't corner him or make him feel like you're prying. Just mention that his sudden secretive nature worries you and you wanted to make sure nothing was wrong. Something like that.
Okay, so I got my braces off the other day so obviously now I have retainers. What I want to know is, for people who've had them, did you ACTUALLY wear them 24/7? They hurt a little& are EXTREMELY annoying. I know I'll wear them to bed, & probably at home, but I don't want to wear them all the time at school/with friends.
So basically, I'm asking, did you wear them all the time or about 2/3 of the time & still were okay?
My brother told me he wore them basically at night & when he was at home & I know he's fine.
[Please don't preach to me about how I should do as my orthodontist says or whatever, she's kind of a psycho so I can't really trust her, plus they all say to wear them all the time but I know people don't...]
I got my braces off about 7 months ago. I only wear my retainer at night. I'm really self conscious about my retainer because it makes me talk with a lisp and it's really uncomfortable. So I just wear it to bed.
Try doing that for awhile and if your teeth start to get more crooked than usual, start wearing the retainer whenever you have downtime or are just sitting at home.
The retainers won't hurt forever, I promise. After you have the retainer in for at least five minutes, your mouth already starts adjusting and it won't be as sore.
well this may sound kinda stupid, but i'm 15/m and i've only ever had one girlfriend and that ended badly about 2 months ago because i found out she was pretty much lying about her whole personality and was just a total slut behind my back, so yea....well i've recently been a lot more outgoing with meeting girls and such since i had such a bad experience w/ her, but i've gotten rejected *or told by friends that she's going to reject me* 2 times already, and the 3rd will probably be soon because i'm gonna ask her out but her best friend says she doesn't like me...so can anyone give me any advice on finding the right girl? my best friend has been in an amazing relationship for 3 months now and i want something like that...something where my girl will actually call me and want to talk to me *my last never called me- she made me call her instead...only time she ever called was to break up w/ me* so yea...and i don't want any "be yourself" shit because that's all i ever do and it never seems to work...do i talk to much or what? i don't know what im doing wrong...
You're only 15. Relax. You're not going to find your soulmate at 15. Good relationships take time.
It would be good for you to try new things and meet new people. Join a club. Get a part-time job. Do something that will introduce you to an entirely new crowd of people. You're bound to make a bunch of new friends, girls included.
When you do find a girl you'd like to go out with, don't rush into anything. YOU NEED TO BE FRIENDS FIRST. The problem with most guys is they see a girl they like and they just ask her out, expecting a miracle. Even if the girl says yes, the relationship is awkward because they barely know each other and end up breaking up within the next week or so anyway.
If you want a relationship like the one you described, become semi-good friends with the girl and get to know her a lot better before making your move. That way, if and when you do start dating, you'll know a lot more about each other.
And another thing, I'm going to give you that "be yourself shit" because if you find a girl that doesn't like you for you, she isn't worth being with in the first place. Don't pretend to be someone you're not. What's the point of being with someone if they don't love you for you?
I'm sure you'll find that girl someday. If it's not this year, don't sweat it. You'll find someone in time. Be patient.
At what age do teenagers usually get past basic levels of thought and begin thinking more intellectually?What I mean is...when do they start to form their own opinions,have some idea of what they want out of life,and just generally gain a more adult outlook?
I think all teenagers are certainly capable of having an adult outlook on life. They are all capable of being mature and deciding what they want out of life. But do they? No. Should they? It depends.
Any sane teenager should try to stay as young and ignorant as possible. Some don't because they feel like they have to prove themselves. Some don't because they want to sound smart even though they aren't. A lot of teenagers try to seem as grown-up as possible. They think that just because they've have a few rough times in life they know everything. When they hit the real world, however, they realize they had no idea.
This realization, that everything they thought life was about was wrong, is when they are officially an adult.
f/17
me and my boo, weve been talking for a long time like 6 months, and i think its time i ask him out since hes so shy. I seriously think hes never been in a relationship before and im surprised he grabs my hand wen we walk or puts his arms around me alot. I want to ask me out but dont know how. Hes really shy with that, and how can i ask him to be my boyfriend without flipping out, like getting a heart attack because he gets nervous?????I really want to be his girl, i need advice. How can i ask him to be my boyfriend???
Invite him over to watch a movie one night. Just the two of you. It can be funny or romantic, it doesn't matter as long as it's something you both can enjoy. While watching the movie, mention that you're kind of tired and ask if he wouldn't mind if you leaned on him. He probably won't since he already holds your hands and puts his arms around you. Cuddle with him like that. When the movie is over, or whenever you feel the time is right, look up into his eyes and smile at him sweetly. Glance your eyes slowly from his eyes, to his lips, and back to his eyes again. Lick your lips lightly and move in for the kiss. Lock lips with him for a few seconds and then pull away gently.
While your faces are still kind of close, maybe an inch apart, say, "You are so amazing. I want to be with you. What do you say?" Or something like that. You can word it however you want, but I'm sure you'll get the same answer either way. :)
15 f
i used to sing so nice. now when i try to do high notes i cant and i crack and i sound so horrible!. i dont know what to do. how can i get better? what can i drink at home so i can get bettter? or what excersises. but i would really really appreciate the things i can drink or eat at home that ould make my voice better. anything is greatly appreciated though. thanks so much!
I've read that taking a shot of olive oil before performing will strengthen your voice and you'll be less likely to crack. Apparently, that's what Kelly Clarkston does.
If you want your voice to get better, you have to practice practice practice. The more you practice, the stronger your voice will be. Instead of just belting out the notes, practice your scales over and over. It really works. It also helps to warm up before you perform. Don't attack the high notes until AFTER you've warmed up.
Here's a website that has some scales and warm-up techniques:
http://www.vocalist.org.uk/vocal_scales_player2.html
my boyfriend, i cheated on him. we have been in a relationship for little over a year, im going to make this short as possible. basically, we got into a fight [usually we resolve and what not] but these two boys were with me when they knew we were fighting. basically i hooked up with them bc i was mad at my bf. i cried the whole night regretting it. i then had to tell him; thats when everything was horrible. i told him, he wouldn't even talk to me, he just walked away while i cried because i truley regret it. he then cried after school because it finally hurt him so much. he even said i dont care if she cheated, i still love her. i dont know what to do, we've talked but things just aren't the same. i know i fucked up okay i just want everything to be okay between my boyfriend and i, we were best friends before together so yeah. how can we resolve this? ugh >:[
I'm proud of you for telling your boyfriend you cheated. You'll find that in the long run, your boyfriend will trust you more because you admitted your mistake and you didn't lie to him. Admitting that to him must have been really hard. It means you really do want to fix things.
Cheating is the hardest thing to get over in any relationship, but IT IS NOT impossible. Your boyfriend obviously still really loves you. You need to do something major to get him to forgive you. Write him a letter explaining how sorry you are and how much you wish he'd forgive you. Explain to him how you really feel. Hand him the letter in person.
At the end of the letter, put something like "if you're willing to work this out with me, call me."
Then set up a nice evening for the two of you. Have a picnic at the park or go out to dinner. While you're eating, the two of you can decide where to go next i.e. if you want to continue the relationship, be friends with benefits, etc. Next, the both of you need to discuss positive ways in order to get through the fights you two can and will encounter in the future. Then you need to discuss ways of letting out your anger in positive ways (such as writing it down, going for a run, listening to music, etc.).
Whenever my boyfriend and I get into arguments, we both do our best to stay calm and we give each other a minute to express their side of the argument without interruption. We take the time to try and understand the other person's point of view without resorting to name-calling. If we can't reach an agreement, we just dismiss it to avoid further conflict. Does this method work 100% of the time? No. But keeping these tips in mind does help us to stay calm.
Another thing to keep in mind when you two get into fights is this: STOP and ask yourself, "Is this really going to make a difference in one year? Is this worth risking my relationship over?" You'll find that in most cases, the things you argue over really aren't such a big deal after all.
I really hope the two of you can work things out. I'm sure with good communication you can have a healthy relationship again.
I have two female students in my class. they like two baseball players but the two boys are immature yet the girls still like them and the girls still have hope that the two boys would ask them out..
So I told them to give up already because these two boys are not showing any interest...
they have tried to flirt
What else can I tell these two girls?
Just let them learn. They're young. They're going to be heartbroken sometimes. Let life take it's course and let them learn from their mistakes.
Well, I am getting braces next week..Ugh, I am so not excited but oh well, I am going to have to suck it up and just get it over with..But my question is I want to get colored ones so if any of yall have ever had braces, can you tell me what color do you think is the best...I have heard yellow makes your teeth look stained and clear isn't good either. I am thinking about hott pink. But I don't know...I have brown hair and blue/green eyes if that makes a difference haha. So, any suggestions would be wonderful. Haha. Thanks in advance.
That's true about the yellow. Orange too. I highly suggest your don't get either color.
Clear is all right as long as you brush your teeth for the recommended three times a day. If you didn't, the bands would turn a gross yellow color, and you don't want that.
When I had braces, I was really self-conscious about them, so I went for clear and white bands so they wouldn't stand out so much. But now that I look back, it's really not that bad. You won't have them forever, so have fun with it.
You could get a mixture of colors like hott pink and light pink. Blue and white look good together. Or maybe red white and blue in honor of the 4th of July. You could get your school's colors too.
I would really love to become an advice columnist, no matter how crazy that sounds. I know lots of young hopefuls would like to be one as well but you know.
I'm just not sure how I would become one, would I need to take a course in something or what, any ideas?
Hey, that's not crazy at all!
There are a number of ways you could become an advice columnist:
-Start your own advice website. Mind you, managing a website can be very stressful and you'd have to know HTML and JavaScript very well. Not to mention have lots of time to update the website everyday once the site gets more popular.
-Become a journalist for a newspaper. Go to college and get a degree in journalism. Get a job at the newspaper of your choice. Work your way up in the system. And you'll be able to start your own advice column!
-You could send your resume to magazines and perhaps get hired to do a column that way.
-Start your own newspaper and run a column that way.
In the end, if you want to have a professional advice column, you're going to need to take some type of Journalism course, and maybe a phsycology course or two. When you go to college, talk to your couselor and ask people who work in the field for advice.
"you had me at hello" or "you had me at first hello". I know it's a cheesy line that guy's use but I've always been wondering, what does it mean?
It means that from the first moment the girl spoke to him, the guy is completely smitten with her and would do anything for her. I think that quote is cute. :)
I'm wondering, if you go out in the sun (protected) for a little while each day, does your skin eventually get more used to the sun? And therefore, less likely to burn?
My guess would be no. From what I've learned about your skin's reactions to the sun, it doesn't seem to be a process your body can "get used to."
When your skin comes in contact with the sun, the melanin is able to produce vitamin D and thus darken your skin. I do know that the darker your skin is, the less of a reaction your skin has to the sun's rays. So if you were really tan to begin with, you'd be less likely to burn.
I'm going to my boyfriends house tomorrow. BTW I'm 14/f. We've only been dating for 2-3 weeks.. but we've been on and off for about 3 years. I've never been there before by myself... can you give me some tips incase things get awkward?? About 3 months ago I had this other guy at my house and it was totally weird so I want this to be different. What are some things I could do if it gets weird?
Bring along some funny movies and a deck of cards. Maybe a fun board game? That way you two can have fun and things shouldn't get too awkward. You guys should bake a cake together or make cookies. That's always fun and eating them afterward is fun too! :)
this is worse than i thought but do you need a parent to go get an abortion or do u have to have some one over 18 to take you
I honestly don't know. The store-bought pregnancy tests are pretty accurate, but you need to have a doctor check just to be 100% sure. After you have the doctor find out if you are pregnant for sure or not, ask them about getting an abortion.
And the the asshole that got you pregnant should be paying for all of this, just so you know. If he's a big enough of a moron to not use a condom, he can pay for all the crap you have to endure.
but in your opinon should i be worried and what is pre cum
In my opinion, you should be worried. It's better to get tested and find out for sure than to assume it's not a big deal and find out you're pregnant three months later.
Pre-cum is a liquid that comes out of the penis as the male is reaching orgasm (which is when he cums). The liquid is clear, but there is some sperm in there, and that's why you should be worried.
I highly recommend you get on birth control. And don't have sex anymore unless you have a condom. An unwanted pregnancy is a serious thing. It can ruin your entire future. Sex is not something to take lightly. You need to be responsible about it.
can u take a pregancy test before you miss your period
I know they have early tests available now that allow you to tell if you're pregnant one or two days after having unprotected sex. Ask your pharmacist which kind would help you tell. Don't be shy, they're there to help you, not judge you.
what is a fast way to get abs without the use of equipment. im doing crunches and sit ups but i think they might take too long. any ideas? thanks.
Keep doing your crunches.
Another good exercise to add is this:
Lay on the floor, flat on your back, and place your head underneath a somewhat heavy chair. Grasp the legs of the chair with your arms and lift your legs in the air so your body forms an L-shape. Swing your legs down towards the ground, but don't let them touch the floor and slowly bring them back up. This is great for your stomach.
You should consider getting what of those giant exercise balls. They're cheap and fun to play with :). The ball makes sit-ups more effective because they allow you to stretch back more than 180 degrees.
ok me and my boyfriend had sex unprotected and he pulled out before he cummed but what are the chances im pregnant
The chances aren't really high you're pregnant, but there still is a chance. Pre-cum can get you pregnant just as easily as cum. Get tested. No questions asked.