I'm not here to tell you what to think or do, but to give you as much honest, accurate information as possible. If I don't know an answer to a specific question, I'll research it before replying. I won't sugarcoat things; my job is to tell it like it is.
I've got a particular interest in sexual health and sexuality. I know a lot about fertility and pregnancy - and firsthand now, as I've just had twins. I'm also an accredited sexual health worker.
Gender: Female
Occupation: Counsellor, writer, mother of twins.
Age: 31
Member Since: August 9, 2004
Answers: 1493
Last Update: November 5, 2009
Visitors: 172985
Main Categories:
General Sex Questions
Random Weirdos
Mental health
View All
|
| |
|
i need some help i need to know exzactly how to get preganet i mean i knopw you havbe to have sex but i mean do we both have to have a orgasim to get pregnant when he cums or does it mater we both have been trying but not sure were to start can you help (link)
|
Your doctor is the best place to start.
If you are actively trying to conceive, the first thing you will need to do is chart your periods. This will help you determine how long your cycle is, which can help you figure out when you're ovulating. Ovulation is when an egg is released from the ovaries.
This can be found out from temperature taking, observing vaginal discharge, etc - or by buying a pack of sticks that you pee on. (Easiest method, though also the most expensive.)
Neither of you needs to have an orgasm for a pregnancy to occur. From the time a penis is erect, a substance called pre-cum begins to leak from the tip of his penis. This has thousands of sperm in it. An orgasm will release more sperm, however.
If you have an orgasm it can be helpful, but not needed. Basically, when a female orgasms, her cervix dips down and this can help increase the chance that sperm will make it to their final destination.
A doctor is the best person to offer you tips specific to your situation. Best of luck.
|
|
i wonder if it is possible tu get pregnanat by touching mavagina outside with penis (link)
|
Any time semen comes in contact with your vagina, there is a chance of pregnancy.
The chances are much, MUCH higher if the penis actually goes inside you.
Still, I wouldn't say it's safe to let a penis touch the outside of your vagina. Pop a condom on that penis! This way, you don't have to worry about STIs or possible pregnancies.
|
13/f
My discharge smells TERRIBLE.
& im embarrassed by it. I take
showers daily, and im sick of
feeling dirty and stuff. Any
remedies that you make AT HOME
[so parents dont find outttt]
& is safe to put down there? (link)
|
Okay. All you should need to keep yourself clean and healthy (and not smelling bad) is simple: soap and water. Getting a special soap for sensitive skin is needed - this means no smells, colours, or anything else that could upset your skin.
Then you only need to wash your vagina once daily. Washing more will get rid of good bacteria, causing your body to produce more - and possibly more smell as well.
You do NOT wash the actual vagina (meaning inside of yourself). You gently wash and rinse the skin around your vagina, taking care that all the soap is gone at the end.
Strong smelling discharge can be a sign of infection, as can coloured discharge. Both of these things should be checked out by a doctor.
However, you may also be overreacting to your personal smell. Most girls/women do have a unique smell, and this varies depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle, their eating habits, etc. This is a healthy part of being female and nothing to be alarmed about.
And while you are probably noticing this smell by holding your panties up near your face and sniffing, no one else is going to do that. You can rest assured that no one around you can smell anything out of the ordinary at all.
|
|
I finished my period at the begning of this month and on the 19th novemeber i was fingered and ive got light bleeding happening but i dont understand what it could be. My friends say he could have cut me. (link)
|
Yes, he might have cut you. Bleeding of these sort would lead to a bit of spotting (unless it was a significant cut) that should taper off quickly.
Your hymen may also have been stretched or torn, which could also lead to bleeding.
Chances are everything is fine. Some warning signs things might NOT be okay are:
bleeding that does not stop
exceptionally heavy bleeding
ongoing pain or discomfort in your vagina
Should any of these things be noticeable, it's best to get checked out by a doctor.
Best of luck.
|
I'm realy worried about losing my virginity, because I will get married in a few years and my boyfriend wants me to keep my virginity for him.. -he has made such a big deal about it as he wants to pop it himself- but I do get fingered and this is the big question?? Have i lost my viginity because of that? would the hymen possibly breake thro' fingering?
One more thing.. apart from bleeding at first sex as the hymen breakes, what would make a girle bleed??
I would seriously appre'ciate you if you can please answer my question. Im really both'rd.
Many thanks. (link)
|
Your virginity has nothing to do with your hymen. You are a virgin until you have sex - it's as simple as that.
Many girls tear or break their hymens in childhood or during the early teens without even realizing it. Some keep their hymens even AFTER sex - sex merely stretching it out. Basically, everyone's body is different. The hymen is nothing more than a bit of skin, and when/how it breaks/stretches/tears varies. This is normal.
As for the blood, some people do have a bit of spotting when they first have sex. Many women don't have bleeding at all. Just like with the hymen, this depends on the individual.
Fingering could tear the hymen. If your boyfriend's nails are long or have rough edges, he may also have nicked your vaginal skin. And let's not discount periods - if you're bleeding, the date and whether or not your period is expected should be the first thing you check.
Bleeding every time your vagina is penetrated is not a good thing, nor is heavy bleeding at any time (aside from your period). If either of these things is happened, it's best to be checked out by a doctor.
One thing you and your boyfriend can be assured of - neither or you will notice whether your hymen is intact or not. You may notice pain or discomfort (and hopefully pleasure!), while he'll be too busy noticing what sex feels like!
Best of luck.
|
|
my female roommate in an all girls group home raped me, well idk if she really raped me. at first she did then i really liked it. what should i do. be mad or happy to have finally gotten laid. (link)
|
If your roommate had sex with you against your will, it was rape.
The body is designed to react to sexual stimulation - if you physically ended up liking her advances, this just means your body is working properly. It is possible to feel turned on but still be forced to have sex without your consent.
You need to speak with an adult who works at your group home. It's understandable that you are confused, but in reality it is unacceptable for anyone to force sexual advanes on you - and if it has happened to you, it might happen to someone else.
While the whole topic can be confusing, you need to try to sort out your head - was this against your will? Did you give her consent? Is there a possibility this will happen again? How would you feel if it did?
Best of luck.
|
|
I love my boyfriend. He is the greatest! We talk all the time like on the phone and in school. We both never really talk about like holding hand and kissing and stuff like that. We've been going out for 8 months and we've never kissed, held hands, hugged! I'm in 8th grade and he is repeating 7th. I think we're afraid to do that stuff because he is my 1st bf and i'm his 1st gf. If we kissed, it'd be both our first. I really want to but he's afraid to, and that's why i haven't kissed him yet. Why are we both so afraid to? We both want to, but we just can't! Wht???? (link)
|
A first kiss can be a scary thing. After all, both of you have probably been wondering what it would be like - and your expectations might be adding to your worry.
Will you hear bells ringing, or will you bump noses? How do you know how to do it? What will the other one think if it's not a great kiss? If you kiss, what does that lead to? How will the relationship change? When should you do it? How should you do it?
These questions might be something you realize you are thinking about, or they may be simply floating in the back of your mind. Either way, there may be a lot of pressure for you to do it perfectly.
Good news - if you really like someone and they like you back, it's pretty hard to screw up a kiss. And even if it's not perfect, if you really care for someone it's not going to cause a break-up.
You sound like someone who knows their own mind. If you want to kiss him and you know he wants to kiss you, why not go for it? Wait for a moment that feels right and do what feels okay with you. Pay attention to your gut instinct about timing, and you're likely to get it right.
I wish you the best!
|
|
Hi, my boyfriend fingered me a couple of days kinda hard and now it feels like i have to pee every second w/ a burning sensation. What is that? What should I do? (link)
|
This is probably not anything hugely serious, but it may require medical treatment.
For example, some bacteria might have gotten into your uretha and caused a bladder infection. This would require a short course of medication.
Whatever the cause, you will need to make an appointment to see your doctor. Only he/she will be able to properly diagnose and treat you.
|
|
My friend seems like she has a crush on me. When we are like laying down on the couch she will just get on top of me, and start humping me. But the strangest part is... i sort of like it. I really dont want to be bi, because i REALLY like a guy (dont worry, we arnt going out)but whenever my friend and i have sleepovers, i cant resist!!! We dont do it with our cloths off, and we dont kiss, but i LOVE it when she touches me in the places she does. And when we play turth or dare, it is always naked. I really dont know what to do. (link)
|
Well, whether you want to be bi or not, a fact of life is that we can't control or pick our sexualities. People need to be open to exploring their sexuality and what it might mean to them - and then choose how they plan to feel about it. Angry? Deny it? Accept it? Rejoice in it?
It's up to you.
If you are attracted to both guys and girls, then you could be bi. Or maybe you're just reacting to physical stimulation - a sign that your body is healthy and everything's working. Again, only you can know whether your feelings (emotional or physical) are stronger than just curiousity.
If you DO like guys and girls, more power to you. After all, it doubles your chances of finding someone you really like who likes you back!
|
|
i'm seeing a guy who lives in italy and he told me not fall in love with him, i'm going to visit him next month, he taking me to venice and he treats me like he really likes me. i'm confuse. what does that mean? (link)
|
A guy who asks you to not fall in love with him could be saying any one of a bunch of things. These include:
'I'm not ready for a longterm relationship.'
'I'm not sure if I really like you yet, so don't get committed.'
'We need to take things slow.'
'I don't like dating people who are too over-enthusiastic about using the L word.'
'I don't mind messing around with you, but I don't want anything serious.'
The way to find out what he meant? Ask him. Whatever he meant, it seems clear that he's reluctant to jump into a heavy relationship. Whether you are okay with this or not is up to you.
But one ingredient of a good relationship is being able to talk openly and honestly. Be aware that if you have never met, or are at the very beginning of your relationship, you'll want to be open and NOT over-the-top with demands or questions.
And you might do well to not invest a lot in this guy until you see he's willing to do the same with you.
|
|
when a guy comes and its bloody what does that mean (link)
|
There are several reasons why blood might be in come - ranging from mild to quite serious. In any case, a guy experiencing this really does need to see a doctor.
A doctor would be able to pinpoint whatthe exact problem was, as well as how to treat it.
Sorry I can't be more specific, aside from saying this is something that should be checked out by a medical professional.
|
Hey im 16/17 and im going for my first job intervieuw on thursday. If it helps its a a little resteraunt that my grandfathers freind's owns. The types of positions i might be hierd to do is chash, dish washer, bussing tables or waiting tables. My question is what are some things that i should say or do during an interview?
Thanks in advance!
(link)
|
Before you go to the interview, make sure you've picked out an appropriate outfit. Even though the job yo're going for doesn't require being dressed up, the interview process DOES require it. This doesn't mean a suit, but it DOES mean nice trousers and a nice shirt.
You'll also want to consider the answers to some general questions: What are your strengths? Weaknesses? Why do you want to work for this place? What experience do you have? What is your availability?
You may also want to think of a question or two to ask the employer, to show you are interested.
During the interview, make eye contact, smile, answer the questions honestly. It's okay if you have never worked before - employers want employees who are dependable, motivated, and able to get the job done.
Most importantly, remember to breathe! It will not be as scary as you may anticipate. You could even ask your grandfather to coach you if he has any insider knowledge about his friend or the restaurant.
Best of luck; I'm sure you'll do fine!
|
ok so people always say that condoms are like 95% effective or whatever "if used correctly"
well what it is the right and wrong way to use one?
and what are the different kinds of condoms? and which ones are the best? (link)
|
The correct way:
1. Check the expiration date. Depending on the country you live in, there may also be a kitemark standard showing the condoms are good quality.
2. Look at the outside of the package. Does it look scuzzy, or crisp and new? If you squeeze one corner of the pack, the air should stay in the other part, forming a tight pillow. If the pack remains limp, there is a puncture in it.
3. You need condoms with tips - these little end pockets need to be gently pinched as the condom is put on. If air remains on them, they will burst when the guy ejaculates.
4. They will only roll easily down the penis one way. Practice on a finger alone in your room to get the hang of it. If you/your partner accidentally puts the condom onto the tip of the penis the wrong way round, it needs to be THROWN OUT. You need to start with a fresh condom as the pre-cum will otherwise be on the outside of the condom (if you just flip it over when you make the mistake).
5. After ejaculation, the guy needs to hold onto the base of the condom while he pulls out. He can then tie a knot in the end of the condom to keep the semen inside. Wrap in tissue and throw away - if you flush, it MAY come back up a few days later. A nasty surprise if you're living with people who do not know you are having sex!
Other quick tips:
If you use lubrication, it needs to be water-based. Any other base will weaken the latex and could cause it to tear or burst. Only use one condom at a time - using two incredibly heightens the chance of a break due to friction. Never ever re-use a condom.
Best of luck.
|
|
Ok well everytime i get fingered or have sex i never orgasm. The guy does but i dont any ideas how to fix this problem? I dont want to make my boyfriend feel bad about it so i dont really mention it what do you think i should do? (link)
|
If your boyfriend thinks everything is fine, then he won't change what he's doing - and you'll probably continue to not have orgasms. Sex should be about BOTH people getting pleasure, not just one.
One thing to try could be masturbating to discover what it is you like. You'll also learn about how your body responds to different types of stimulation - and probably that you need your clitoris involved to reach orgasm. Fingering and plain old sex generally don't involve your clitoris, so that makes things more difficult.
Once you know what you like, get your boyfriend involved. Show or tell him what you like. Ask for oral sex, touching your clitoris, or more foreplay. This is not something you need to feel guilty about, as all of these activities should also provide your boyfriend with stimulation - and most guys WANT to know they are pleasing their partners.
Still, you need to take action. You're responsible for your sexual pleasure, and if things aren't working they won't change unless you help them out.
Best of luck.
|
|
They are librarians at my school who are discriminating to me they think that I am some kind of spy that just comes to make trouble. I am black yes I'm black I only come to library when there is i,portant work to be done. They will harass me accuse me of stealing my own ID card, and the fact that they think just because I come during study hall I am ditching a class. Should I report to the NAACP or what. What did I do wrong. Its hard just to take that especially when they are just old librarians. Its so heartbreaking. What should I do (link)
|
If you haven't been messing around in the library and really feel like they are being racist, then making a stand might be a good idea. It's always good to put complaints on paper, because that helps you be specific and is proof of the substance of your claim.
Do you have specific dates and times they have treated you poorly? While they aren't an absolute, they might help. Otherwise, mention the specific examples you have listed here.
Submit a copy of this to the head librarian, the principal, and the school newspaper. Ask for a response within a specified amount of time, and say you would appreciate a conversation with the principal.
It would be helpful to have moral support - especially to make sure you are treated fairly during any meetings. Is there a teacher, guidance counsellor, or youth worker you trust?
Of course, your other option is to speak directly with the librarians themselves. If you do and nothing changes, then you have the choice to let it stay the same or lodge the complaint (as described above).
If you feel unsatisfied by the school's response, then there should be a school board you can submit your complaint to.
Best of luck.
|
|
ok i did it anal with my bf and iw ould like to know is that health?..is it ok to do that and once we did it and like shit came out and i though that was nasty he is like its ok this and that but for me i feel weird he said its ok and its normal because he went up my anus but me i think its nasty and unhealthy and hope you help thanks.. (link)
|
Anal sex is a choice a lot of people made. It requires lubrication and condoms - you are very likely to tear the delicate skin in your anus with anal sex, so the possibility of disease transmission is greater.
I would suggest you spend some time thinking about your dislike. If it's because you really, really feel it's wrong and genuinely don't want to do it - then don't do it.
If it's because you are afraid of new things, then perhaps it's worth trying again. Keep in mind that just because you've done it once doesn't mean you're under any obligation to do it again.
Everyone likes different things, and anal sex works for a lot of people. It's okay if it works for you - or if it doesn't.
I wish you the best.
|
|
my boyfriend was fingering me and i was slightly bleeding...i checked later and i think i found a cut its not internal but its not external...do i need to do anything for healing purposes or am i at risk?? what do i need to do? (link)
|
Your vagina might have a slight tear inside from a fingernail catching on the skin, or perhaps it's been stretched and torn a little from the size of your boyfriend's fingers.
This isn't something to get overly concerned about, as time will heal any slight tears. Keep in mind that any breaks in the skin make you more susceptible to sexually transmitted infections.
In future, you'll want to make sure your boyfriend's hands are clean (soap and water!) before any heavy action happens. Also, trimmed nails are a bonus.
You'll both need to make sure you are feeling ready to be fingered, as otherwise it might be slightly uncomfortable. You'll also want to be gentle with yourself over the next couple of days while you heal.
|
|
is masturbation with vibrators safe during early pregnancy (link)
|
This is something you should check out with your doctor. Once he/she has ascertained that your pregnancy is progressing normally with no risks, chances are they would give you the thumbs up.
Sexually activity is considered normal and healthy throughout pregnancy, but it's always best to get a doctor's confirmed opinion.
|
|
So I am 13, but look like an 18 year old. There alot of guys who like me that are like 19. What should I do? I hate people my age, and act older. Any advice? (link)
|
No matter how old a person looks, there are still differences on the inside when it comes to age. For example, at 13 you probably are not in high school yet. A 19 year old is probably already finished with high school.
While this may not seem like that big a deal, I would say it probably is. When it comes to dating, I think about more about stages than actual ages. It's important that people match up with potential partners who are at a similar stage to them. High school is a big chunk of time, and a lot of changes can happen in that time.
In the longrun, the balance of power in a relationship is more equal when people are in a similar stage. Chances are you'll have more in common with the other person as well, including similar lifestyles which will make you more compatible.
I can understand that right now you may feel more mature than other people your age - and you might very well be. Still, there may be a few other people who feel exactly the same way as you. At 13, some people are still children while others are really thoughtful and mature - there's a wide gap. Why not see if you can find some guys who seem to have the maturity you are seeking?
I would suggest they would probably be more mature, relatively speaking, than a 19 year old who was interested in dating a 13 year old.
Best of luck.
|
|
ok i need to know how to find out if my cherry has been poped and i dont know what to do.. i cant tell how do i know and what should i do to find out? (link)
|
'Cherry' is the slang term for the hymen. This is a very thin layer of skin that most females have.
There is a myth that it's a thick barrier inside the vagina, which is not true. The hymen is so thin that it has probably torn or been stretched out long before sex enters the picture - sports, masturbation, tampons, etc. If you are getting your period, you know your hymen is already at least a bit torn, otherwise the blood would not be able to get out.
Hymens do not equate with viginity. You are a virgin until you have sex (whatever that means to you), regardless of whether you think you have your hymen, you do/don't bleed, or you do/don't feel pain or discomfort. In fact, a hymen may only stretch during sex - and even if you've had sex, your 'cherry' isn't actually gone.
While I can understand why you would be wondering about this, in actual fact it really doesn't matter if your hymen is there - or how much of it is there. Every girl is different so there are no set standards of exactly what to expect.
|
|