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November 2, 2006Answers:
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I Do not have any photos of myself available yet, so my seven year old is filling in for me. Isn't he cute?
The best advice I can give anyone is leverage the power of the internet. If you are just looking for answers to a homework question or seeking business ideas, the net is the place to start. Not only does the net provide information, it can also be leveraged to make anyone lots of money.
Hi, my name is Tammy, I am 32 years old, I live in Las Vegas, Nevada with my son and his daddy. I love helping people with their problems and I also really enjoy getting to know new people. So, look around my column. Maybe I have given advice that you could use someday!
Looking forward to helping you!
P.S. If you are interested in knowing how I am leveraging the net to build my fortune, please e-mail me!!
advice
I'm 6 wks pregnant and unsure of who the baby's dad is, the 1st guy did not cum inside me but the second did
Dear can pre cum get u pregnant?,
Pre-Ejaculate Rarely Contains Sperm
That said, research that has examined the content of pre-ejaculatory fluid has rarely found sperm present in it. This does not mean that sperm is never present in pre-cum; it just means that it does not appear to typically be present.
I would say that guy that released in you is the father. He can be the only option.
Good Luck!
I am a 14 year old girl and in the 8th grade. My family is very religious. My sister got straight A+'s in every year of school and college. I am trying to do my best but my mom says that im not trying at all. Whenever I ask her if she wants to do something with me she says she is busy but when my sister asks she says ok.
One more thing is my mom doesnt let me do anything!!
I wanted to watch a movie called Hocus Pocus, and my mom said it has witches and magic, and the bible says to stay away from it. (She also got mad at me because I started singing the spell/song, from the movie. When i was 5!!
I wanted to watch Harry Potter but she said no because the bible says to stay away from wizards and magic, and vampires and wolves. I looked and it only said evil!
Today, I drew a charachters name from Harry potter and my brothers And my mom got mad at me.
They also moniter my Fb account and made me give them the password to my email and FB account.
I feel like my family hates me!!! What do i do??!!
Any and all advice is appreciated. Thank you!
Overprotective Mom,
I understand what you are going through. I was not allowed to listen certain songs or watch certain genres of movies when I was younger. I was also pushed to get good grades, go to youth groups and set great examples for my younger sister.
It made me mad. So mad I wanted to run away.
But someone gave me advice and I took it. I was your age so I will say exactly what was said to me when I was 14 years old. I have never regretted my choice to follow that advice.
"Your parents are only trying to raise the way they have been told to raise you. They do not know another way. It has never been shown to them. It is their way and you must tolerate it until you are old enough to move out of their house. Then it will be up to you to break the cycle and find a better way to raise your children.
BUT Right now, it is time to focus on being the best person you can be to yourself and to everyone around you. Regardless of how you are treated. You owe it to yourself to keep a positive attitude and say "oh well". In time you will get to do the things you want to do. But for now, you must learn from this experience and carry it onto the next stage of your life."
That was the advice that was given to me.
I recommend that advice to you as well.
When you are old enough to be on your own, you can watch what ever you want. Sing what ever you want. Draw whatever you want.
My advice is to live the way your parents tell you too as long as it does not hurt you physically or mentally.
I commend you for noticing that the bible never tells you that wizards and magic are evil.
Religion is one subject that I know a lot about, and you are right. The Bible leaves the reader to interpret what evil shall be. Do not blame your parents because the programming they have gotten tells them that wizards and magic are evil. That is an opinion that has been passed to them through extreme religious indoctrination and not based on any real fact.
If your family's core religion is a Christian based faith, then your family believes in the magic (miracle) of Jesus' Resurrection and the wizard(priest) Moses who used a magic(enchanted) staff to part water. Not to mention relying oil induced visions to talk to God. Get the point. It does not matter if evil is named, everyone calls evil by a different name and sees it through different eyes.
It sounds like there are some things that your mom is completely misguided about and some other things she understands for what they are. That is normal is our society. Sad, but true.
I agree with your mom that you should not watch, read or hear certain programming. Harry Potter, and other forms of print/media are full of hidden massages designed to get into your sub-conscience and act like brainwashing tools. These tools are designed to turn you into a useless consumer, teen mother or drug addict. (results may vary depending on individual disposition, dietary bio-accumulation/saturation levels and environmental exposure)
There are many forms of media that include sub-conscience programming to control/guide those who see it, read it and hear it. This includes the Bible, school books and billboards just to name a few of the millions in use. It is everywhere, and in almost all print, video and radio media.
This is a you tube vid that touches on this subject. . . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3KF5vDOjXg
It is up to you to do further research, and here is one for you to understand how food should be used to keep your brain sharp and your body disease free.
On the first link, choose your favorite food and see if it is harming you.
http://www.dadamo.com/typebase4/typeindexer.htm
On this second link, you will find the information to help you choose foods to maintain and proper PH balance in you body and brain.
http://www.acidalkalinediet.com/Alkaline-Foods-Chart.htm
When you couple programming with the average American diet, the brain is too weak to reject the programming.
For now, keep your eyes open, keep noticing those small things that do not make sense and you will be more wise than anyone else in your family and sooner than you realize it, you will be old enough to move out. Wisdom and knowledge take time and experience to gain. You are at the beginning of that journey and need the next four years to set that in motion. Four years and you will be forced to pay your own bills, find your food, get a job etc. . . . Enjoy the time you have without any grown-up crap to worry about.
You cannot say that your mom lets you do nothing. Your mom lets you have a FB account. That is more than I will let my daughter have when she is your age. I do not hate my daughter, I love her and want to protect her.
Social media sites like FB are another form of control and even worse, a great way to spy on someone, stalk someone or even cause someone to kill themselves. (Bullying on FB recently caused a girl your age to take her own life) Granted, she must have had a weak mind to take her own life, however, it did not stop the hateful things from being posted to her wall, for everyone to see.
Maybe your mom is tyring to protect you. Trying to make you a good person.
Embrace your mom's love to the point of saying one nice thing about her on your FB page everyday for the next year. Compliment her hair, makeup, parenting skills, etc . . . Try to be more understanding of her ways, even if you cannot agree with them you must do what she asks. Less stress and compliments will make her feel good, and that goodness will come back to you. Karma is the key to making the next four years more pleasant than they are now.
Your lessons and schoolwork can probably be found on the internet I am sure. I found my college courses and all the answers online at yahoo answers. So solid A's are possible. I use the answer keys to help me understand the problems I could not understand how to solve on my own. I never used them to just get a good grade.
Have faith sweetheart. These years you have left at home will breeze by. It is up to you to make them good, bad or mediocre.
Attitude, Attitude, Attitude. It is the single most important factor to guarantee good results day in and day out every day of our lives.
Whenever the negativity enters your bubble, dispel it with your own positive energy. The glass is half full not half empty. Always look on the brighter side of things. Find the positive and make it yours! Own it!!
I have faith in you.
Good Luck!
DoktorTammy
Today this guy who everyone think I go out with, but I really can't stand(he likes me though), decided he was going to start poking me. I told him to not touch me, but he didn't stop. So, I told him to get the **** away from me. He continued to touch me and then tried to give me a hug. I pushed him away. He tried to poke me again, and this junior came up and told him to leave me the **** alone. This guy pushed him(the friend pushed the junior) and they almost fought. I needed to get home, so I left.
Why did this guy defend me? I barely know him. I only have my last period class with him and we don't even talk that much. I'm 15 and he's 16 or 17. He's always been nice, though. I don't know what to think, considering I've never been in a situation like this. Most people wouldn't even think to defend me.
Dear Why did this guy defend me?,
Sounds to me like this boy was stopping a bully from picking on a girl.
You should thank him graciously and hang out with him more often.
He has good manners and probably parents that really care about him. It shows in his actions.
This could be the start of a beautiful friendship.
Good Luck!
Lots of Love to you!
DoktorTammy
Not feeling sorry for myself so don't say it. I'm just tired of my terrible life and I just want it done, sooner the better.I'm 44 and have been in 2 major relationships in my life. One was my x wife, we were married for 22 years, in the end she ran off with a married man. Must have been me why she did it. The 2nd was the love of my life and we did love each other, she lives in Tucson, same as myself.we each had problems as does everyone, working threw our issues together an our own we would work threw together. We liked being together and we did most everything togetherwe loved it . In the end she treated me like a nobody, and seemed to blame me for everything,ok I figured we could work threw this also as we loved each other so much. Nope it was easier to break it off with me and go with someone else. I'm dead inside and my mind needs shut off, I think about her everyday txt with her on occasion. Yes I know ur going to say no contact,but I can't, I want her so much and miss her bad. My family and friends all say screw her and they hate her for how she hurts me. I can't stop thinkingof her/us and want no one but her. It's been a yr now and its the same, for me atleast. I'm done and ready to die. My life is shit and iv given up.
Shut my heart, mind, pain off, I am truly ready.
Dear verge of taking my life,
I hope I have gotten to you before you take your life.
Misery loves company. How often do you spend time alone, thinking about her? That is your downfall.
Do not dwell on what you once had, it is over and now there is room for a new love.
Learn from your mistakes and move on. It is healthier for you and it is time.
Feeling dead inside is natural when your heart has been ripped from your soul. Been there and done that.
You are only 44. You are still young enough for many happy years with someone who will stick around and love you more than any of the others. Third time is the charm!
It has been a year. It is time for you to give your broken heart a rest and get back out there.
"Attitude, Attitude, Attitude. It is the single most important factor to guarantee good results, day in and day out, every day of our lives."
Your own negative attitude is keeping you from moving on and finding the real love of you life. Stop dwelling on her, she was not it if she walked away so easily. You obviously loved her more than she loved you. It happens, and it is time for you to get over it, move on and love again.
Good Luck!
Lots of love to you!!
DoktorTammy
19/F
I used to be skinny, active and in shape. When I was 16 my dad passed away the night before my brother was on trial for something he didn't do. Two days later, my brother was convicted to 15 years in prison and he is innocent. It's been 3 years and I've gained 70 lbs. I've tried every diet out there. I've also tried taking phentermine. My brother lost alot of weight on it, but it made me really sick. I really believe I'm gaining due to stress. Does anyone have any good weight loss (diet and excercise) plans that have worked for you? P.S. I have a broken bone in my foot, so my range of excersise is limited. Thank you so much.
Dear Stress related weight gain,
Start here sweet heart.
http://www.dadamo.com/program.htm
Been choosing my foods based on this research for ten years now.
Works for everyone that follows it.
Good Luck!
Lots of love to you!
DoktorTammy
So I'm not exactly sure where to begin. I'm a mother and 21 years old. I moved to a new state and met this guy I quickly fell in love with. Our relationship was everything I wanted it to be. Until I fou.d out I was pregnant. I dug deep to find out things I didn't know about my sons father. Our relationship was based on lies. My sons father left our relationship when he found out I was pregnant with our son. I tried to get him to be a family with me and our unborn son but he chose drugs over us, and a different girl. desperate for love I began seeking a new happiness to get him out of my mind. 3 months later I met this guy, whom was 26 at the time. He took me in and my unborn son. He chose to be there for me when I had absolutely nobody. He is the sweetest guy. And he actually has stuck by my side through it all. It seemed like we needed each other, I helped him move forward in life and he gave me the financial support and love I was seeking. The only thing is, after being together for over a year, my son being 10 months old and him being his father figure I have found myself truly unhappy. I've been in love before and this love isn't the same. I feel uncomfortable around him when it comes to kissing or anything farther. He has never romantically kissed me, its always been a peck. I am constantly picking up after him, reminding him to shower or brush his teeth and practically raising him. I'm not in love. I love him more like a friend. The problem is he has been there for me through so much, but I don't want my son to grow up seeing me unhappy. I'm constantly considering all sorts of "what ifs" and trying to find a way to be happy again. But I have no way out. I feel like he would love everything if I left....his family, home, so much more. I'm not good with break ups and he won't leave me. I've tried leaving before but he cried, begged me to stay so I did. I feel trapped now. I have a son so its hard to take risks because his life revolves around my decisions. I'm scared. To hurt anyone in my life and I don't know what the first step needs to be to being happy and finding love again...or just taking a step away from love. Please help me. I don't know where else to turn.
Dear im stuck in this relationship,
Several things are happening here and you must make a choice. Move out, break a heart and focus on your child; or stay, be miserable and focus on yourself.
The choice is yours. Break a heart that will mend over time, or ignore a character and have it fracture over time.
Do not worry about the friend's broken heart. He will get over it before he knows it.
This is a life changing thing and should be considered carefully. He has been there for you through things that only real men stay through.
For that I think he deserves your complete honesty, not your pity. When he cries as you leave, kiss him on the cheek and tell him that he will always be your dearest friend and you are grateful for what he has done, but you cannot be a good mother if you are unhappy. You are putting your child before all else.
Then I suggest backing off of relationships and romances for a long time. Step back and focus on that baby. Giving it your every attention. Trying to find love, worrying about it coming your way or worrying about ending up alone are all taking focus off of your child's character development and focusing it on you again.
The moment you chose to keep that baby, you chose to put your life on hold. Now you must do right by that child or forever be miserable.
Change must happen in order to grow, flourish and advance in our life experience. It is time for things to change in your life.
Lots of love to you and yours!
Good Luck!
DoktorTammy
I hate myself im a liar a cheat suffer form bi polar and have destroyed and now lost the only person who truly cared for me
It is sad to see someone say they hate anything. Hating yourself is a natural reaction to who you are because you do not like your own behaviours.
You said you lie, cheat and have bi-polar tendencies. Your life will continue to be harsh as long as you allow these behaviours to rule your world. You must control that urge to lie, or blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. You are in control of your life, not your life in control of you.
This is a fact that you must quickly learn or live miserable forever more.
Dealing with any disorder is a trick that you, as the magician, must learn to master. The first step is to get yourself on a proper diet. This will clean up your thinking and allow you think more normally.
Here is a link for you to start with.
http://www.dadamo.com/typebase4/typeindexer.htm
Browse this site for a while and make sure you understand the basics behind eating properly. It is not what you have been traditionally taught.
When you are finished with that site, go here
http://www.acidalkalinediet.com/Alkaline-Foods-Chart.htm
Once you have managed this diet for a few months, you will see a major change in your thought patterns. Take notice of the foods that cause episodes or mood swings and avoid them at all costs.
This is a just a start. Your disorder is a difficult one to deal with, but you can master it using diet and natural medications if needed.
Here is a link that you should look at and take some time on this one. You will find something in there that will help you understand how to deal with your disorder using natural medicines. Click on the link in the first paragraph and download the PDF. Along with diet, there is evidence to support that many bi-polar disorders are easily being controlled with this natural medicine. Do some real research and find the truth that has been intentionally kept from you.
http://beyondchronic.com/2012/08/granny-storm-crow-mmj-reference-list-july-2012/
As for the friendship status; apologize for being the way you are, and let them know you love them.
Also let them know that you have a lot of work to do on yourself and having them in your life as support would be the best thing in the world.
However, tell them that you understand if they do not want to deal with your disorder. Then Do not bother them again.
Your life will be full of people that will not stick around when you have no control over your disorder. You may care about them, but that does not change the basic human reaction to chaos.
Your life will always be hard for others to accept as long as you do not control yourself. It will be constant battle that you must always win in order to keep people in your life.
That is why it is important for you to get yourself under control now. You can do it. You do not have to lie, cheat or act on your impulses. It is all about having the right attitude to keep strong will power going.
"Attitude, Attitude, Attitude. It is the single most important factor to guarantee good results day in and day out, every day of our lives."
It is up to you to control those urges and fight for a normal existence. It is up to you to remain positive and make your life less hateful.
When you can do that, you will have more true friends and close relationships than you can hope for. I have faith in you, especially if you take my advice seriously and follow it.
Good Luck!
Lots of love!
DoktorTammy
I haldnt spoken to my father in seven years. I am thirteen years old. My mother was only fifteen and my dad was nineteen. When I was around three my father was charged with armed robbery in nj so he fled to florida. Before I stopped speaking to him he only called me twice a year(if that) and I watched my mother and grandmother struggle to raise me without any help from my dad which is why I stopped speaking to him. Five years ago my mother met my stepdad and he's amazing. In those five years he has been more of a father to me than my biological father has been in thirteen years. Anyways my aunt recently called to tell me that the cops went to look for him in florida and he is now in jail in nj. She says that he told her to tell me that he loves me and that he is sorry but I don't know what to do. I don't think that he deserves it. I have even considered getting my last name changed to my mothers so that I have nothing to do with him. I have no problem talking to my aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents because its not their faults it is only his. So should I talk to him or ignore him????
Dear My dad's in prison,
The beauty of being human is that we each have the ability to forgive. That does not mean that we forget as soon as we forgive. It also does not mean that we have to keep the people we forgive in our lives or exclude them either.
Maybe he is a new man and wants to make up for all his wrongs. I believe that everyone deserves a chance to change and the chance to prove they have changed.
The choice is yours. You can stay mad and harbor the anger and resentment until it ruins your life. OR you can forgive him, accept him and help him be a better man.
He will either prove himself or he will not. Either way, at least you forgave him and gave him a chance.
Good Luck!!
Hi,
one of my guy friends is being kind of mean. We've known each other for almost 3 years now. He keeps trying to force me to sing in front of the school choir teacher, when i sit with some of my girl friends he glares at me. A while ago i got into a fight with him. He slid milk over the table (while it was open) at my friend and it got all over her and her stuff. I got mad at him and when i walked away from him i heard him call me a b****. What do i do?
Dear My Friend,
The behavior you have relayed sounds like he is proud of your beautiful voice and has a crush on you.
Unless you did something that he feels is warranting a mean attitude, it seems that he is a bit jealous of not being with you all the time.
Talk to him. Find out what's up?
Good Luck!
I am a gifted student in a gifted school and I am in 7th grade at a 9th grade level. I will have 6 credits before I get to 9th grade. Also, I used to be a straight A student. 3 of my current teachers do the same exact class routine everyday and it gets reallly boring and hard to not be sleepy andpay attention. I drink coffee in the morning usually and it doesn't help wake me up. 2 of these 3 teachers teach quite the opposite of the way I learn best. They both go very fast and don't give any visuals. Is there a way that I can adjust to this way of learning? I don't adjust now I will have to go to a school that I really don't want to go to and my grades right now are i beleive: 2 A's, 2 B's,1 C,1 D,1 E...Please give as much help as you can. Thank you.
Dear Gifted Student,
I read a study that showed low oxygen in the bloodstream will cause fatigue.
Another study that I glanced at stated that coffee lowers the oxygen in the bloodstream and creates and acidic environment in the body.
There are many studies that show people who are disease free have an oxygenated and alkaline body with a balanced ph level.
Look at your diet.
Now, teachers do not know what you need unless you tell them. The smart ones speak up! Ask them to slow down and incorporate visual learning techniques into their lessons.
Keep in mind that most teachers are responsible for purchasing their own teaching tools and classroom materials. So if the teacher has an economic hardship they may not be able to accommodate you.
It is however, easy as pie to look your lessons up on the internet. Any subject that you are covering in school can be found on at least a dozen or more sites.
Make as many notes in class as you can, and then use the internet to help you visually learn the lesson. It is 2012, we have 2,000 years of information at our fingertips. You will find something that helps you absorb the information.
Good Luck!
15/f
Hey everybody, I've been doing some thinking and self-exploring and I think I'd like to embrace the hippie style. I don't necessarily mean drugs, sex and tying myself to a tree, but more just promoting peace and love. Thing is, I really want to dress accordingly, not because I have to, I want to.
I need some advice on where I can find some good clothes. I know used clothes stores, but I don't live near too many, so any small brand names would be good. I don't mind if I look like some crazy chick from the 60s, I like the style, and nobody pays attention to what I wear anyway. I don't mind standing out a little. I like being different.
Also, I want to tell my mom so she can help because I'm too young to drive or get a job, but I'm kind of afraid of what she'll say. How do I tell her? Thanks a bunch :)
Dear 15/f,
It is wonderful of you to want to spread love and peace. The actions you speak of are Bohemian and not to be confused with the meaning of hippie.
Who ever told you that sex, drugs and tree hugging were limited to hippies is filtering your information flow to be bias towards people that are stereotyped as 'hippies'.
The word hippie is used to identify someone that is a hipster. The word 'hipster' is from the word "hip" that originally came from African American culture and denotes "awareness."
Anyone that is a hippie is simply someone who is aware. I am a hippie and I wear jeans, sneakers and t-shirts. I do not experiment with drugs or other psychedelics. Every medicine I use is natural and from plants. I do not go around hugging trees or kissing fish.
lol I am simply aware of things that others may or may not be aware of too.
If you want to be a hippie, become aware of the deceptions in place to control the population of the planet.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNyo0Gu7064
That is a good place to start your road to being a hippie.
As far as dressing like a hippie, most used clothing stores will have mixed brands. I say just go look for stuff that you like.
Have you tried Ebay? You can shop on the internet too. Do a search on Ebay for hippie skirts, hippie shirts, etc. . .
Some name brands that you can look for would be:
New Bohemian
Rockabilly
New Haute
Blue Sky
Boho
H&M Fasions
I hope that I did not offend you with my correction of your perceptions on hippies. I love the long skirts too, and sometime in the past I have owned a few.
I encourage you to have your parents watch the video in the link above as well. Everyone needs to become a 'hippie'.
Good Luck!!
I will try to be brief. Me and my wife currently live in a mobile home that is falling apart. It is in need of many repairs and neither of us knows anything about home repairs. We dont make a ton of money whcih is what it would take to repair everything. At the same time, it is paid for and we hate the thought of having a rent payment again. Should we sell and move into something nicer, or stay where we are and try to eventually get everything fixed?
Dear Should I move,
You have a home that is paid off and you want to move in these economically hard times?
You will be lucky to sell your mobile in today's hard market.
I would take the money that you would expect to pay in rent if you were to move and start fixing up that mobile of yours.
The internet is a wonderful resource tool for fixing anything that is wrong with your mobile. For the first time in human history we have 2K years of information at our fingertips. Use it!!
Do searches for the problems you are having. You can even post questions and get them answered.
If you cannot physically do the work, I am sure there are teenagers looking for spending money for the summer.
The possibilities for do it yourself are endless!
Although, I would hire professionals for problems dealing with electricity. :-)
Good Luck!
My girlfriend has depression, it's not as severe as it could be, but it often worries me as I can't always be there to see how she's coping when she is having a 'down' day as we're both at university. I don't know how I can help to make her feel better when she is feeling like this, she has self-harmed before and neither of us want it to get to that point again. She says that I am helping, but as I'm not there I don't know if she's just saying that to make me feel at ease...I also know that depression is an illness that isn't going to disappear overnight, I just wondered if anyone had any tips on how I could help her to cope? Just to make her day a little better? Anything.
Thanks.
Dear Help someone,
I know that you have been taught that depression is an illness. However, I have been depressed, clinically and on the 'kill ya pills' doctors negligently hand out like candy.
I learned that Depression is a state of mind that is a result of exposure to unhealthy influences and having no worth while goals.
The only way to help her is to get rid of the things she is exposed to that are influencing her mind negatively and get her involved in reaching goals that are best for her self esteem.
What challenges her and brings out the best in her?
how long will kool aid dieing your hair last on light brown hair?
If you do it right it will come out in a couple of washes.
When I was in the military, we used cool aid to clean the rust off of brass fittings. I would never drink it or put it in my hair.
Good Luck!
so there are these two guys i've been friends with for a few yrs now, and there my best guy friends. for both relationships it started out as a friendship and still is...but latley i've been noticing that whenever another girl talks to them i get jealous and mad, and get realy excited when they wanna sit with me. the problem is...their both ex-bfs of 2 popular girls. one of them im friends with and sit at lunch with, the other i used to be friends with, but she doesnt sit with us. as it is, those two girls are very good friends (not bffs but goof friends) i know the one i used to be friends with would act like she doesnt care but would make a big deal about it by crying, they broke up last winter, their still friends, but i dont think he has the same connection with her. but then again if im not friends with her why do i care? the other guy is so nice like the other and good looking, but i dont know how my friend would be about it...since they went out several times, but havent dated for a long time. back to the other guy he hasnt dated anyone since his ex..the girl im not friends with..especially with him it makes me mad that i can only be friends with him now becasue i dont just want to jump right into it. i think he likes me too, and im differnt in the way im not crazy loud like his ex was, and im just like the girl who talks about memories and crazy shit, theres just something more between us. i dont know what to do...obviously first i want to make sure im confident enough to persue this with the girl knowing, if i go out with the guy i like more which is the guy with the ex that im not friends. one because we have common intrests, low key, funny, friendly and humorous, and like each other...please help thank youuuu
Dear PLEASE READ...complicated love triangle,
The element of wind is on your side. I am told to tell you that you feel threatened. You appear threatening to others. You fear cruelty, judgment and pain. You feel a sense of anger and there is a desire to go into seclusion; but this is no time for withdraw. You must enter the world and atone. Embrace love and you'll discover freedom.
The Roman Goddess of good luck is encouraging you as well. She talks of satisfaction and winning surrounding your choice.
Listen to the elements. Follow your intuition. Yes, your choice to become more than friends with the one you like is the right choice. Yes, you will be a threat to the other girls, but that is life. Change is the name of the game. You cannot change if you do not step out of your comfort zone and grow. You will discover freedom through choosing love. Do not be afraid. Do not hide from your choices either.
Let the other girls know that you do not intend to hurt anyone, so out of respect you will tell them the news yourself. If they love you and are real friends, they will be happy for you. If they get mad, then they have a problem, not you. From the sounds of it, no one has claim to the guy you like. He is not married or dating anyone right? He is fair game!
The reason you have doubts is because you do not want to hurt anyone and you do not anyone mad at you. Too Bad!!
You cannot have your cake and eat it too. You will chose love and you will cause someone a little a bit of discomfort. They will get over it in time. After all they are not dating so it is not like you are sneaking around and trying to steal him.
You are doing the honorable thing when you choose love. Forgiveness is the key to love. Your true friends will see that and bless your relationship with the guy you like. If they cannot see forgiveness, they are not your true friends.
Good Luck!
DoktorTammy
If i compare mine to others, i have a good life, but sometimes I get really sad. I know what sometimes causes it like my parents making me feel like I only do things wrong, my friends saying stuff behind my back then acting like it was a joke, and feeling like I'm worthless. I try to stay positive, but it rarely works. I always end up thinking about the bad stuff and I can never get it out. It's like all my imperfections in my life and me are mocking me. A year and a half ago, I got so depressed that I resorted to cutting myself. I crumbled to the pain I constantly felt. And I couldn't talk to anybody about it. I can't tell my parents about it because they think that i'm too dramatic. Maybe I am, but I can't help it. I've stopped doing that, but when I have free time, I just think about all the crap that I've done and that's been said and thrown at me. I don't know how to stop it. I know I have to do it myself because nobody in my life understands. I feel so alone and empty. what should i do?
Dear "sometimes i'm really sad",
Happiness is a state of mind that occurs when you are working towards a worth while goal. Thinking about all the negative in something, especially with emotion will cause these things to manifest in every aspect of your life.
Cutting is extreme, and I am sorry that you feel you need to dull your emotional and mental pain with physical pain.
Here are a few things that I do to keep myself from letting negative thoughts occupy my mind.
Clear thinking will reduce the mood swings and help increase your level of coherent actions. Drama is usually a result of someone who has had bad food and their brain is altered. Use food to heal yourself. Beneficial foods act like medicine for the body, when avoid foods kill the body.
http://www.dadamo.com/typebase4/typeindexer.htm
Attitude is everything. Set up a ring tone on your phone, or paste stick it notes on your mirrors, doors, ceiling above your bed, anywhere you look regularly.
Use this phrase "Attitude, attitude, attitude. It is the single most important factor to guarantee good results, day in and day out, for the rest of our lives." You may need to hear this phrase a dozen or more times a day for 6 months, but it will work if you set your mind to it.
People are going to talk about you behind your back. Your parents will continue to rat on you about whatever. They need to know that you are the way you are because of they way they raised you, Your attitude is their fault. It is a reflection of them. This is why they will lay the blame on to you for your 'dramatic' behavior.
After all, someone in your life taught you how to behave like this. You are a reflection of the ten people you spend the most time around. If that is your parents, then they are the influences that are bad for you.
The past is the past, make a clean start. Since your parents just think you are being dramatic, maybe you should check yourself into the hospital to get away from them for a while. They are not taking your cries for help seriously. You are obviously in and unhealthy environment, and in a lot of pain if you are cutting yourself. Use the time away to recover from the way you feel and reflect on the situation. Gain new perspective.
http://suicidehotlines.com/colorado.html
Cutting can lead to suicide attempts. You can talk to someone at the above link. Half way down the page it gives the number for the nationwide hot lines. Call and talk to someone that can help you. Otherwise, you can call Child protective services and tell them that your home life makes you want to kill yourself. They will do the rest. They may remove you form the home, put under observations and get you help.
Anyway you look at it, your current environment needs to change, otherwise you will get worse. My advice is to call someone who can remove you from the home, and place you in a more positive environment. While you are recovering, use the diet and attitude advice to heal yourself.
Love and peace be with you dear one.
Good Luck!
Doktor Tammy
I have always been really shy ever since I was little. My whole life i've gotten questions like "why are you so quiet?" or "do you ever talk?" when people ask me these questions it makes me feel like I'm weird and makes me even more self cautious, why do people think asking those kind of questions is going to get a person to open up? It just makes me more quiet. It's like being quiet is the only thing people see me as. So I want to know, in your opinion do you think being quiet is a good or bad thing? Do you prefer loud or quiet people? What is something I can when people ask me why I'm quiet w/o being rude?
Re -read my answer to you. I said that society has labeled you. I have not labeled you.
I never said that you were any of those things. I simply said that because of everyone Else's programming, you have already got a label on you and that makes you a target.
But thanks anyway.
i have weird dreams sometimes. Some include my house burning down (twice) and being kidnapped and dying. With all the crime and stuff going around, I get paranoid. I am super freaked out and scared. This is really weird, but what should I do about my paranoia about dying?
Dear "i'm really paranoid",
In our daily lives we see things that influence our dreams. You say that there is crime going around, like a cold or something.
Our minds have a way of being open to suggestion.
As for the paranoia over dying, I suggest not thinking about it. Try watching a different television program before bed, something happy and uplifting. Try to surround yourself with positive programming for at least a week and see if your dreams change.
The mind is powerful tool for someone who know how to manipulate it. When you think about something with emotion, for long enough, it will manifest itself in your life.
The key to avoiding your fears, is to not think about them, ever. We are all going to die. Each of us in our own way. If you think your death will be from kidnappers, and you focus on that, you may be the one that brings about your own demise.
Use the secret the way it is being used against you right now. These dreams are not your life, but influences in them.
Learn what the secret is and use it daily.
http://thesecret.tv/
Good Luck!
Doktor Tammy
I am 19/f. 5'7" tall and currently about 140-145 lbs.
I think have developed a negative relationship with food. I feel like food is taking control of my lifestyle because I overeat a lot. I pretty much always have access to junk food, and when I don't, I seek it out.
And I am ashamed to binge in front of people, with some exceptions: like I've talked to my boyfriend about this problem with food, and he's one of the people that I will eat moderate amounts of junk food in the presence of.
I'm very conscious of what I am eating though, and I've never finished an entire bag or box of anything before. I do deprive myself of certain things because I'm terrified of becoming bigger than I am.
I mostly overeat when I'm sad about something, or stressed about relationships, my job or school, and especially when I'm alone.
I try to counteract the food I consume with exercise, but I'm afraid to give up my habit of eating. It comforts me and makes me feel happy...but I always feel bad afterwards, so that's the only reason I feel like it's taking control of my life.
I think my problem stems from a desire of wanting to be skinny and fit, but I'm not in shape, and it's because I keep eating for comfort.
I've always liked junk food, but I recently was thinking that the bingeing became worse when I fractured my jaw this past winter and I had to go on a liquid diet for a month. So I couldn't chew ANYTHING that whole time, and I had to resort to things like milkshakes to satisfy my cravings for junk food. But ever since the liquid diet ended and my jaw healed, I've been overeating more and more, and I feel like it's because I was deprived from coping by physically chewing and eating for so many days.
I have researched binge eating disorder and I got really upset reading about it because I feel like I have many of the symptoms.
My boyfriend thinks I should talk to my doctor and possibly look into therapy. He also thinks I am depressed and use food to cope with whatever problems or depression I am experiencing.
I've also talked to my mom about my issues with food, and she thinks there's nothing wrong with me and that it's all in my head. She thinks that I have normal eating habits and says that everybody overeats once in a while, and that therapy would be unnecessary.
I don't know whose side I'm on about this. I've never looked into therapy for this because I do agree with my mom when she says that it's all in my head, and I don't really have or want to have a problem. She disagrees with my boyfriend's thought that I'm depressed. She thinks I'm perfectly fine.
What do you think? Should I seek therapy or is this not really a problem?
Dear "food is taking over my life",
I was 6 foot tall, and 154 lbs at the age of 19.
I too started my long battle with junk food. I was addicted to Cheeseburgers from McDonald's, chocolate peanut butter cups, and my all time favorite. . . CHEETOS!!
Your description of the issues you have, are almost identical to mine at that age.
Before I knew it, I was finishing the bags. At one point in my life I weighed 415 lbs. I was 25, and could barely walk the distance required to get from the house to the car.
You must get past this. You are addicted to the euphoria you experience from the junk. I call it chemical crack! I found a way to eat healthy, and still get the euphoria from the food.
Today, I am still 6 feet tall, but I am only 250 lbs. I found the list in 2004. I have been sober for almost 8 years.
Your mom is partially right when she says it is all in your mind. Addiction like this originates in the brain, so she is correct in that sense. You must understand your relationship with food. This stuff is made readily available to us in large quantities to weed out the useless eaters. The human is a creature of habit and one of the few species on this planet that eats for pleasure.
I know you said that you are afraid to give your habit of eating. That should not stop you. Falling did not stop you from taking your first step as a child.
I say this to you from my own experience. I had the same thought; I will just work out harder tomorrow, or as long as I stay active I will not get fat. I was a cross country runner, 6 miles a day for training, plus other sports I played.
The chemicals that the foods are made with, and have added to them do damage to the human DNA. Over the course of 10 years, my metabolism had slowed to a crawl and I began packing on massive amounts of weight. My energy level dropped and I found myself FAT!!
Here is the quick explanation. MSG, Corn Syrup, CORN PRODUCTS, Maltodextrine, hydrogenated oils, natural flavors, etc. . all inhibit the body's ability to produce insulin. More importantly than getting fat, is your ability to think clearly on this drug.
Eating these foods will exaggerate your moods. That causes unwanted thoughts, depression, overeating, and the need for more.
The junk food has no nutritional value, so your body needs more of it to get the proper nutrition. It is a vicious cycle that is easy to get caught up in, with both body and mind needing more.
Believe it or not, no human should consume some thought to be healthy foods like tomotoes, chicken and corn. It is not just junk foods. Along with shelled fish and pork, these foods inhibit the insulin production, as well damaging other areas in the human body.
Use this link to find your list and use food as a medicine, not a drug. Use food to fuel the body and your mind. The foods that say beneficial will act like a healing agent for your body. The foods that are avoid, will destroy your genetic make-up. Eat wisely.
http://www.dadamo.com/typebase4/typeindexer.htm
Good Luck!
Doktor Tammy
i ws a gud scholar,ws vry gud at studies,i got 1st position in academics 4rm 1st to 12th,bt for d last 2 sems my colg result is nt dat gud,i try n try ,m a really hardwrkr,i knw i cn do vry gud,i hve dat potential,i complete my syllabus 2wice,bt fail,nw my parents r nt wid me ,dey don hve dat beleive on me,wat shud i do wen my parents don believe me,instead dey discourage,i hve no one 2 say dat you cn do,i knw cn do,bt lost all hopes,because m really shattered after dis repeated defeat,bt i knw m still bettr den my frnz who got gud mrks dis yr.,bt you knw world welcomes only d winners,i cn nt get d courage 2 face d world,wat shud i do??.
i hve lost all d hopes,i don find any1 encouraging me,wat shud i do wen d ones who were capable of wiping my tears rnt wid me..,ws a gud student,sumtimes i find dat i have more knowledge dan who got gud marks
nw each morn i got up n find myself loosing hopes,please help me
Dear "i am tired with d way this world behaves when someone loose",
I am a blunt person, and I try not to come off as rude, so there is no harm or disrespect intended in what I am about to say. I think you need to hear it.
It sounds like college has higher expectations than high school. Forgive me for asking, but do you spell, and talk the same way that you do in this question?
I not only see many spelling errors, but also grammar mistakes. Loose means something is not tight. Or has gotten out of its cage. Lose is when you have lost.
You are in an environment that requires you to be smart enough, and tough enough to pick yourself up and wipe off your own tears. You are not in high school anymore. You are in the big world now and you have more that is expected of you here.
There are only losers and winners because you feel that you need to be better than everyone else. You are not better than anyone else and they are no better than you. We are all together in this crazy place. Some of us take the lemons we were given and make lemonade, others take the rotten lemons they were given and make wine. Others just kick the lemons and never try to make anything with them.
In defeat comes valuable lessons. You did not have to work that hard in high school; when you compare it to the expectations of College, Career, and raising a Family.
Instead of losing hope each morning, you should look at it as a new chance to do better.
Attitude is the single most important factor the guarantee good results, day in and day out for the rest of our lives. Your attitude is preventing you from seeing that you must work harder to attain the same grades as you maintained in high school.
It does not get any easier out of college. People expect a certain level of communication. There are standards in spelling and grammar that far exceed the college and high school levels.
Having more knowledge than the others is not always what gets you the grade. In college, presentation is everything. When I was in college, grammar and spelling made up almost 50% of my grade. Presentation was 30% of my grade.
So 80% of my GPA was based on proper usage of grammar, accurate spelling, and how well I regurgitated the information back to the Professors.
My suggestion is question your teachers about what they are grading you on, and focus on those areas. Do not lose your faith in yourself. You simply need to figure out what is keeping you from getting the marks you want. Ask the ones who grade your papers to tell you what improvements you can make; ask them for help if you need to.
That is why they are there, is to answer your questions and help you understand the material.
Good Luck!
Doktor Tammy