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im stuck in this relationship
So I'm not exactly sure where to begin. I'm a mother and 21 years old. I moved to a new state and met this guy I quickly fell in love with. Our relationship was everything I wanted it to be. Until I fou.d out I was pregnant. I dug deep to find out things I didn't know about my sons father. Our relationship was based on lies. My sons father left our relationship when he found out I was pregnant with our son. I tried to get him to be a family with me and our unborn son but he chose drugs over us, and a different girl. desperate for love I began seeking a new happiness to get him out of my mind. 3 months later I met this guy, whom was 26 at the time. He took me in and my unborn son. He chose to be there for me when I had absolutely nobody. He is the sweetest guy. And he actually has stuck by my side through it all. It seemed like we needed each other, I helped him move forward in life and he gave me the financial support and love I was seeking. The only thing is, after being together for over a year, my son being 10 months old and him being his father figure I have found myself truly unhappy. I've been in love before and this love isn't the same. I feel uncomfortable around him when it comes to kissing or anything farther. He has never romantically kissed me, its always been a peck. I am constantly picking up after him, reminding him to shower or brush his teeth and practically raising him. I'm not in love. I love him more like a friend. The problem is he has been there for me through so much, but I don't want my son to grow up seeing me unhappy. I'm constantly considering all sorts of "what ifs" and trying to find a way to be happy again. But I have no way out. I feel like he would love everything if I left....his family, home, so much more. I'm not good with break ups and he won't leave me. I've tried leaving before but he cried, begged me to stay so I did. I feel trapped now. I have a son so its hard to take risks because his life revolves around my decisions. I'm scared. To hurt anyone in my life and I don't know what the first step needs to be to being happy and finding love again...or just taking a step away from love. Please help me. I don't know where else to turn.
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Dear im stuck in this relationship,
Several things are happening here and you must make a choice. Move out, break a heart and focus on your child; or stay, be miserable and focus on yourself.
The choice is yours. Break a heart that will mend over time, or ignore a character and have it fracture over time.
Do not worry about the friend's broken heart. He will get over it before he knows it.
This is a life changing thing and should be considered carefully. He has been there for you through things that only real men stay through.
For that I think he deserves your complete honesty, not your pity. When he cries as you leave, kiss him on the cheek and tell him that he will always be your dearest friend and you are grateful for what he has done, but you cannot be a good mother if you are unhappy. You are putting your child before all else.
Then I suggest backing off of relationships and romances for a long time. Step back and focus on that baby. Giving it your every attention. Trying to find love, worrying about it coming your way or worrying about ending up alone are all taking focus off of your child's character development and focusing it on you again.
The moment you chose to keep that baby, you chose to put your life on hold. Now you must do right by that child or forever be miserable.
Change must happen in order to grow, flourish and advance in our life experience. It is time for things to change in your life.
Lots of love to you and yours!
Good Luck!
DoktorTammy
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