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stuck with love, but not in love.
So I'm not exactly sure where to begin. I'm a mother and 21 years old. I moved to a new state and met this guy I quickly fell in love with. Our relationship was everything I wanted it to be. Until I fou.d out I was pregnant. I dug deep to find out things I didn't know about my sons father. Our relationship was based on lies. My sons father left our relationship when he found out I was pregnant with our son. I tried to get him to be a family with me and our unborn son but he chose drugs over us, and a different girl. desperate for love I began seeking a new happiness to get him out of my mind. 3 months later I met this guy, whom was 26 at the time. He took me in and my unborn son. He chose to be there for me when I had absolutely nobody. He is the sweetest guy. And he actually has stuck by my side through it all. It seemed like we needed each other, I helped him move forward in life and he gave me the financial support and love I was seeking. The only thing is, after being together for over a year, my son being 10 months old and him being his father figure I have found myself truly unhappy. I've been in love before and this love isn't the same. I feel uncomfortable around him when it comes to kissing or anything farther. He has never romantically kissed me, its always been a peck. I am constantly picking up after him, reminding him to shower or brush his teeth and practically raising him. I'm not in love. I love him more like a friend. The problem is he has been there for me through so much, but I don't want my son to grow up seeing me unhappy. I'm constantly considering all sorts of "what ifs" and trying to find a way to be happy again. But I have no way out. I feel like he would love everything if I left....his family, home, so much more. I'm not good with break ups and he won't leave me. I've tried leaving before but he cried, begged me to stay so I did. I feel trapped now. I have a son so its hard to take risks because his life revolves around my decisions. I'm scared. To hurt anyone in my life and I don't know what the first step needs to be to being happy and finding love again...or just taking a step away from love. Please help me. I don't know where else to turn.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
If there is anything i have learned about relationships, love, or life in general, it is to define your own happiness. Obviously you can not rely on this guy for your happiness. As amazing as he has treated your son and you, it is best to do what you will feel happy with in the end. This guy obviously cares a great deal but do him a favor and move out so he has the chance at a real relationship, too. It will not be easy but in the end both of you will realize it was done for a reason. It may seem selfish but I strongly encourage you to make yourself happy first. Your son will realize the change immediately and thank you in the end. He is going to see you smiling and remember that as he grows up instead of coming to you later and asking "mom why did you stay with someone you weren't happy with?". You are the relationship example your son will see throughout life so you owe it to him and yourself to find happiness and love again. It's so scary to move on but in the end, it will be worth it. I genuinely wish you the best. Please let me know what happens and if there is anything I can do to help.
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