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verge of taking my life. i love her
Not feeling sorry for myself so don't say it. I'm just tired of my terrible life and I just want it done, sooner the better.I'm 44 and have been in 2 major relationships in my life. One was my x wife, we were married for 22 years, in the end she ran off with a married man. Must have been me why she did it. The 2nd was the love of my life and we did love each other, she lives in Tucson, same as myself.we each had problems as does everyone, working threw our issues together an our own we would work threw together. We liked being together and we did most everything togetherwe loved it . In the end she treated me like a nobody, and seemed to blame me for everything,ok I figured we could work threw this also as we loved each other so much. Nope it was easier to break it off with me and go with someone else. I'm dead inside and my mind needs shut off, I think about her everyday txt with her on occasion. Yes I know ur going to say no contact,but I can't, I want her so much and miss her bad. My family and friends all say screw her and they hate her for how she hurts me. I can't stop thinkingof her/us and want no one but her. It's been a yr now and its the same, for me atleast. I'm done and ready to die. My life is shit and iv given up.
Shut my heart, mind, pain off, I am truly ready.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Dear verge of taking my life,
I hope I have gotten to you before you take your life.
Misery loves company. How often do you spend time alone, thinking about her? That is your downfall.
Do not dwell on what you once had, it is over and now there is room for a new love.
Learn from your mistakes and move on. It is healthier for you and it is time.
Feeling dead inside is natural when your heart has been ripped from your soul. Been there and done that.
You are only 44. You are still young enough for many happy years with someone who will stick around and love you more than any of the others. Third time is the charm!
It has been a year. It is time for you to give your broken heart a rest and get back out there.
"Attitude, Attitude, Attitude. It is the single most important factor to guarantee good results, day in and day out, every day of our lives."
Your own negative attitude is keeping you from moving on and finding the real love of you life. Stop dwelling on her, she was not it if she walked away so easily. You obviously loved her more than she loved you. It happens, and it is time for you to get over it, move on and love again.
Good Luck!
Lots of love to you!!
DoktorTammy
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Yes you are right. As long as you continue to stay in contact you will prolong your pain.
The new year is coming and I believe you should set a goal for yourself and it should be; new year, new beginning.
You cut out the bullshit and you focus on you. Get involved with friends and family and most of all I would recommend getting yourself into counseling.
Keeping yourself busy helps tons
A few months back my relationship went rocky and we separated. Yes, I hit rock bottom. I learned several valuable lesson during that time.
1. You never depend upon another other than yourself.
2. Only YOU can make yourself happy. If your not happy being with yourself first, you will never be happy with someone else.
Time to focus on you. I believe karma is patient. Yes, these woman who have ran off probably have it coming. However I do encourage very much that you stop contacting. Focus on your job, family and friends. Not old baggage
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Suicide is a solution and a bad one at that; it is not an answer to a problem. I cannot say I know exactly what you're going through but I do know someone very near and dear to me who is going through something very similar to what you described with this last women.
In a sense the closure that is needed when ending anything is missing as she probably just left and as you said blamed everything on you. As you said you both had problems to work through and all she did in leaving as she did is throw a ton more on you.
If you were not suffering some form of depression at that time; well you are now. Planning to end ones life is a symptom of a deep depressive problem. Depression is something I can speak to having suffered from clinical depression.
While your problems may seem insurmountable they are not. This is the depression talking. Depression effects how we perceive things mostly in a negative fashion. This is the first thing a person suffering depression needs to understand and take precautions against.
Clinical depression, which is the most common form of depression, is the easiest form to treat. Generally this form is caused by the lack of or insufficient amount of 1 or 2 chemicals that are secreted in the brain which control mood. THere are a variety of medications available to doctors to treat this.
Medication is generally 1 of 2 steps used to treat clinical depression. The 2nd step is talk therapy with a clinical psychologist. Since stress is also a major factor finding the stressor and learning deal with it is what happens in talk therapy. In your case we may know of the major stressor or you may find another while working in therapy.
For medication to treat depression the best doctor to seek out is a Board Certified psychiatrist. This is a doctor who has taken a Fellowship in psychiatry and past the certifications exams to receive state board certification. In many states any doctor who had a residency in psychiatry can practice psychiatry. Your not crazy, it is just that since the chemicals in question are secreted into the brain this is the doctor best qualified to prescribe medication.
You may also want to call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. It operates 24/7; No matter what problems you are dealing with, the can and want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7. Please call them. or go to the nearest hospital emergency room.
If you feel like you are going to hurt yourself then call 911. Help will be sent to you. Suicide only hurts you and those who love you.
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Please don't say such a thing. Death is not the answer. yes I understand all you want is to be loved, and respected. You're worth that, you deserve better. The problem is you don't feel worthy enough. You are settling for less. You are hurting yourself every time you text her and you know it. You need to know your worth. You seem like a highly intelligent, sweet, caring man. Any good woman would cherish You. Don't give up. Get rid of the negative people in your life. You don't need a woman to be happy. Find your happiness, whatever that may be, and you will find the one. Just find your happiness okay?
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