Gender: Female
Location: New York
Occupation: Student
Member Since: August 8, 2007
Answers: 35
Last Update: April 14, 2016
Visitors: 2775
Favorite Columnists
trueadvice3
|
| |
|
Hi, I'm 14 years old and insecure. My friend is gorgeous, she 5'9 and 115 pounds she gets all the boys and whenever i'm with her i feel horrible about myself. recently i have been making myself throw up i just want to be pretty and have people like me like they do her, i know i cant be her but i see her and then look at myself and i feel like shit. i wish i was like her and i need to know what i need to do to make self be more confident and prettier, i have semi long dark brown hair large green a few acne problems im 5ft7 and weigh 175 pounds, i have thin lips. I play softball and volleyball. I really want to be confident but i dont know how to get myself their please help me with this it means a lot!!! (link)
|
There are a lot of people on here who will say "just be you" or "relax and be confident." While I do agree that this is the ultimate goal, the psychology behind these mindsets is extremely complex and wayyyy easier said than done. People will tell you to "be confident" without telling you how to.
It is up to YOU how you are going to achieve this confidence but one thing I can tell you you need to do is be brutally honest with yourself. Really THINK about what you don't like about yourself. Why don't you like the way you look? Physical appearance can be changed and let me tell you, changing the way you look if you don't feel attractive can work absolute wonders (I lost a lot of weight and it changed my life) but what's most important is that you examine yourself on the inside.
What do people LIKE about you? Are you kind? intelligent? funny? What are your talents? What makes you happy? I'm telling you from experience that once you find what makes you the individual that you are on the inside, it will be easy to appreciate who you are and realize that we are all different from one another and that's what makes the world go 'round. No one is better than another, just different. And I'm telling you, and I know this is hard to believe but personality goes much more of a long way than looks do.
I guess my ultimate advice is to figure out what makes you yourself and embrace the hell out of it. People will love you for that. A girl who is trying so hard to be like her supermodel friend will be the most unattractive. If you don't like the way you look, you are more than able to change that. Also, losing weight is absolutely realistic and achievable. PLEASE don't throw up.
Achieving confidence is a process. It's not going to happen overnight. Like I said, it's very complex. But trust my advice and it will happen over time.
|
|
I just can't seem to make friends. Me and my family moved recently and I had to start school in the middle of the school year. So far, pretty much everybody is ignoring me, and if I try to talk to them, I'm probably going to throw up or something. I have very bad anxiety when it comes to talking to people. I have aspergers syndrome, which certainly doesnt help with that. Do you have any advice?(I'm 12 by the way) (link)
| |
Have you met people who share the same interests as you? People you have things in common with are the ones you'll share meaningful friendships with. Making friends is a difficult process for anyone. Especially if you're not very outgoing, you just have to ease your way in. Don't worry, it'll happen! and try to focus on the positives!
|
|
20/f. I've been singing since I was like 9 years old. Suddenly, my voice has been cracking and it's like I can't control my voice anymore. It's really weird. I have a youtube channel and I can't even add new music my voice is going like crazy on me. What's going on? Maybe if any of you are singers you can help me? Could it be that if I hadn't practiced my singing in a few weeks, I just got rusty? Help! (link)
| |
are you using a completely belty chest voice? If so, that's very unnatural, unhealthy and dangerous to your voice and can be damaging because it puts a strain on your chords. Try to mix more head voice. Taking some voice lessons if you don't already would definitely help. Also, make sure you thoroughly warm up before you sing.
|
|
I don't know what's wrong with me! But everytime I read a book or try to study I can't seem to remember what I read =/ I know how to read its just I have a hard time remembering what happend and I can't seem to picture what's going on in the book inside my head like some people claim do. I'm trying to study for my permit test and I read the book like legit 7 times but I forget what I read everytime I'm done with it. Is this some kind of mental health?? (link)
| |
A lot of times when we read and we're bored with what we're reading we tend to just read the words and not actually process them. I know what you're talking about. Usually, studying isn't just reading something a hundred times. Trust me, I've tried it and it doesn't work. The only way that works is if you're genuinely interested in what you're reading and I doubt you're really interested in permit test stuff. Try to actually think about what you're reading and understand it. Think about not just reading word by word but what the words and the content mean and are trying to say.
|
|
where do i get free music videos for my ipod nano??? plz help me i surely will appreciate it (link)
| |
you can download this program called TubeTV which allows you to download youtube vids into your itunes library and onto ur ipod
|
Any song suggestions would be great.
I'm having way too many emotions running through my head.
Thanks so much! (link)
| |
I Get Along Without You Very Well (Except Sometimes)
|
|
Who is taking the global regents for this year? ...what websites do you guys use for help ..regentsprep doesnt want to work (link)
| |
regentsprep.org
|
|
Hi im 15/f and i trying to train over tha summer for track in the fall. So if you could give me links tips exercises or programs and eating i would appreciate it. Thankx (link)
| |
Eat a lot of bananas and potatoes. They have a lot of protein which is necessary for you when you run. That's what they told us when I did X-C. If you're a distance runner you should run at leat 3 miles a day. Hope I helped!
|
This is not a huge deal, I just don't know what to do. I have these two very good friends, Sabrina and Julie. We are pretty close, and all three of us do track together. The thing is, I always feel like a third wheel with them. They are always laughing and joking and I am standing there trying to go along with it, but when I say something they kind of just look at me. They have eachother, cool. Thing is I don't have many friends on track, so without them I am pretty lonely. Whenever one of them is not at practice or whatever, the other one comes and is all chummy with me until the other one is back. It is like I am the friend that is being used when the other is not there. It doesn't seem fair. Today at the meet they left me, so I was alone for most of the time. I am friends with other people on the team of course, but not close enough. I want to just swallow the problem and ignore it, but it is just getting worse. I don't want to seem like the whining friend that complains, "Oh, you ignore me." So I don't really know what to do.
Any help? (link)
|
I've been in a situation exactly like this. Two best friends and I was the third wheel. They were mean and terrible friends. But despite that, I continued to follow them everywhere and hold onto the friendship.
I didn't even try to make any other friends. I eventually called it off with them and now, two years later I don't have as many friends as I would like to. Now I wished I called it off earlier and tried to make more friends then.
My point is, keep being friends with them but REALLY REALLY try to be friends with the other girls on the team. This will 1) maybe make Julie and Sabrina jealous and wish they were nicer to you and 2) give you more friends and make you happier and better off
|
I found out my mom was snooping into my life about two weeks ago. She had an Xanga of mine bookmarked and in it I wrote as if it were a private diary .. which I thought was on a private setting in fact.
There was a lot of very bad stuff in there and when I realized she was snooping I deleted it and made a new one. Well, she managed to find the new one too! Once again, its bookmarked as well as my Facebook. My diary has since gone missing as well. She has not told me about reading any of this but I know its her because its on her personal laptop.
What should I do?
My privacy is gone and I feel violated by my
own mother. She gets very offended if I don't tell
her everything in my life anymore, which I hate to do because she makes everything too much of a big deal.
... btw, I actually get punished if I don't tell her everything going on such as who the guy I like is. Its ridiculous. (link)
| |
Well, that's horrible of her to do something like that. I'm not exactly sure about this, but what she's doing may even be against the law. You should look into it.
|
All of a sudden a ton of my friends have something aganst me and I have no idea why. I'm not one of the mega-popular girls, but its safe to say I [used to be] well-liked in my group of friends. But in the last few weeks, I've found out that so many people have either turned against me (I have no idea why) or forgotten about me, and I feel so rejected. I barely have anyone to talk to anymore that won't pick me over another person in my group, and its really depressing.
The only thing I can think of that may have changed the way that they feel about me is that I went away on vacation a few weeks ago, and I came back looking, well, tanner, and my hair was lighter, and I guess that made me look prettier (I know that sounds conceited, I'm sorry, I'm really not). My point is, could they, possibly, maybe, be jealous of me? I don't act any different. Btw, I find it absolutely hilarious that anyone would be jealous of ME-- there is so much shit going on with my home life its not even funny. And now, with this, I just don't know what to do. My friends were basically one of the only parts of my life keeping me sane. I was so happy, even with all this shit in my life, and now... even my used-to-be best friend rarely talks to me anymore. (She's not mad at me, she's just found friends that she has more classes with, but when she's with both of us, she chooses them over me.)
I'm tired of being rejected from everything. I didn't even do anything!
So bascially, I just want to know if you think my friends are jealous (again, hah!) and how I can make my friendships go back to they way they used to be. (link)
| |
Have they been actually saying anything mean to you and putting you down? It sounds like they aren't exactly being MEAN to you but they're just starting to ignore you a little and pay more attention to other people. I know, it sucks. I've been there. But the thing is, they're probably not even realizing how much it hurts you. The reason why they're doing it is probably not because they're mad at you or anything. You should talk to them about how you feel.
|
|
I'm a trumpet player, and I went on vacation for spring break this week. Now I'm back, and I can hardly play a thing. My chops are way out of shape, and its never been this bad before. Just wondering if there were any suggestions that could help me get back in shape quickly. Like by Monday...??? Please let me know if you can help me. (link)
| |
Just try to do a little every day, even if it's only for 15 minutes. I'm a brass player too, and what I do when I get out of shape is, I just practice scales and lip slurs for a little while and when I start to get tired I just put it away and practice again the next day. Don't practice for hours on end if your lips are tired. It'll just get worse. Also, don't try to play anything too difficult. For now, do simple stuff until you get back into shape.
|
I have two really great friends. Rachel and Megan. Rachel is like EXACTLY like me(we like the same stuff,same everything) and have the same "moral standings". But Megan is exact oppisite of me. She has pretty much no morals at all.
Well one day in Volley ball we had to choose partners and i automaticaly go for Rachel. And in Science, and History and Math i do the same thing. Idk why but i really don't ever pick Megan, and i feel horrible about it. I just don't like the way she goes about things. She is a bad student(gets C's and D's and sometimes F's) and Rachel and I are straight A's.
I don't know how to envolve Megan and idk if she is even like a friend to me.
How can i envolve her. And in your opion am i being a bad friend? I don't want to be that way anymore. HELP (link)
| |
You're not being a bad friend because it doesn't sound like you're intentionally trying to hurt Megan by leaving her out. Megan may be a bad student and she may be completely different than you are. But think of it this way: Megan has feelings. I used to be the third wheel in a group of three and it made me feel terrible every time they ran off together not giving me a second thought. I'm know you're not trying to make her feel this way, but Megan is probably very hurt seeing you and Rachel partner up without her. Try this: get to know Megan a little bit more and notice the positive things about her. When you and Rachel are together try to include her (you can ask the teacher if you can make a group of three). By paying as much attention to Megan as you do to Rachel, it will really make Megan feel good to know that you care about her, even if you do like Rachel more inside.
|
|
Hi, I Am Female And 16 years old. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 months now and we are thinking about having sex in the next few months. Me and him are both virgins though. I am worried about how much it is going to hurt on my first time. I am quite shy sometimes and don't like showing I'm in pain. So the question is How much does it actually hurt? And How can i cover up the pain or reduce the pain? I desperatly need help with this. Please help. I am kind of scared about how much pain I may have to go through, but I just want to get it over and done with. So, How much pain? and How can I cover up the pain or reduce the pain? thanks xx (link)
| |
It doesn't really seem like you want to have sex in the first place. I think it's perfectly ok to be a virgin. Plus, 16 is still kind of young to be having sex. Maybe when you're a bit older and more experienced with your relationships you won't be so nervous. In the meanwhile, try to gain as much knowledge as you can about sex. This might make you feel more secure.
|
|
My freind and I just gat a new babysitting job for a five year old we're charging $4 an hour and both of us will get $120 a month so what should I save up for? I already have an ipod and a laptop.And im a girly girl! (link)
| |
Maybe instead of thinking of somethng to buy, you can just save the money. Just because you have money doesn't necessarily mean you have to spend it on something right away. This way in the future if you really want something, you can buy that instead of something you "thought of" just because you want to spend money. Never spend money just for the sake of spending it.
|
|