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April 4, 2016Answers:
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Dragonflymagic
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about
I have experienced life, long enough to come to a realization that there is no way out but to "Be Your Self!", to honor and celebrate who you are! We all are unique and important pieces of the big puzzle, the "game of life" and the Universe itself. The world would have been incomplete without each of us! I am grateful to advicenators.com for giving me this platform to motivate and empower others.
"Life is an expression of who you are than suppression; allow yourself to paint your canvas..." ~ Me
"You cannot teach people anything. You can only help them discover it within themselves" ~ Galileo
Much love and blessings ))
advice
15/f
Hi, I can't believe I'm talking to strangers on the internet about this; it's so embarrassing. I'm sorry if this offends you since I'm not at a great age to be talking about it. I'm not sexually active (haven't been at all yet) and I've had my shots for cervical cancer and things about two years ago.
I never really worried about it until I heard that lumps can be a bad thing. It's quite high up on the inside of my vagina - I'm not good at distances so I'm really sorry - I can't quite reach the top of it with my finger. It's fairly large as well with a dent or something in it as well as being slightly off to the left.
I did a quick Google search but none seem to have something like mine and/or sexually active and have been for a while. It's been there for as long as I can remember but I don't think a large lump is very normal. (I'm also pretty sure it's not THAT spot). It doesn't hurt and I don't think it's irritated. I'm just really worried about it. I don't really want to tell my mum about it until I'm 100% sure I need to see a doctor. It's not exactly easy to say something like this to your mother and the story of how I found it, no matter how close we are.
Thanks for replying if you do. :)
I understand this is something to get worried about at your age. I am not a doctor, but from what you described, it definitely does not sound as serious as you are thinking. You are at the age where a lot of hormonal changes are taking place in your overall body. Having said that, why do you think it's embarrassing to talk about it to your mother? You may find it awkward but she would be happy to know that you shared your problem with her and take it from there. Yes, it is something in your private part, but still it's part of your body, right? Why do you look at it as something different from other parts of your body. So the first thing you need to do is talk to your mum.
I did a quick search and found this link. At least you are not the only one ))
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/703251-Terrified-about-lump-in-vaginal-canal
Do talk to your mom and get a doctors appointment to get peace of mind. It could just be a cyst which would disappear over weeks. But your still need to see a doctor.
Good luck!
i want to know why a women need hard stroke during sex?
I second the response from dragonflymagic completely! About your specifc question, perhaps there could be two aspects to it:
There is the physiological part where in, with hard and rapid strokes, the stimulus to the inner sensitive walls of vagina is more frequent and intense, resulting in enhanced pleasure to women.
Then there is a spiritual and psychological side to it as well. Not all but I guess most sensual sensitive/sensual women appreciate the masculine domination of a male counterpart. The domination takes them to a higher sense of consciousness from the union (yin and yang), willingly motivating the female to completely wanting to surrender herself to the man. This surrender is beyond the physical bodies and ego, results in the true union of masculine and feminine energies into the divine third energy. The surrendering applies to the male as well when the woman want to be the dominant one.
Anyway, hope all this makes sense to you. If not refer to some books and inline reading. However as my other friend adviced, this may not be applicable to all women as we all are different, unique and equally divine.
I am a 15 year old girl with mild acne.I am currently on roaccutane. Some days I feel like I'm on a high and other days I'm depressed and don't know what to do.
My self esteem is a -1 out of 10
I just need help building my self esteem ❤❤Thanks for all the help in advance
Hello beautiful ))
Who told you that everyone else is joyous, positive, happy and on high all the time, like 24/7? The most handsome man and the most gorgeous woman on planet earth, both do not feel any different than how you are feeing. In fact it is not possible to be in that state of mind all the time. So relax, be easy and stop judging yourself, feeling sad. What you are experiencing is absolutely normal ))
As for your mild acne, I guess everyone has a different skin type and body. And I think this is a age when tremendous hormonal changes happen in a woman's body causing the existing imbalances to heighten or worsen. I am sure you are taking medications/applying creams to suppress and keep them in control. Try to also control them through your diet, daily cleaning regime, and most importantly be gentle and caring towards yourself and your acne )) Yes, you read it right, towards your acne or for that matter any other issue bothering you.
Here are some things to remember:
1. Learn to accept and love yourself completely without judgment, exactly the way you are. This applies to everyone, acne or no acne )) Don't let this to discourage you, overlooking other things about you and your body. Avoid trying to hide your acne by applying too much make up. Take efforts to keep your skin dry and clean as much as you can.
2. Just because your friends or other girls so not have acne, does not make you less attractive or beautiful. Yes, I am a guy and you have to trust me on this. Self esteem comes from inner beauty and confidence. You feel low at self esteem because you are focusing too much on your problem. On a physical level, try little change in hair style, the clothes you wear etc. Keep it simple, elegant and graceful. Look at yourself in the mirror and appreciate what you see in there ))
3. Everyday when you get out of your house, forget that you have problems. Smile more often, be cheerful and feel confident. Everyone likes to see someone who is happy and brings a smile on peoples face, so be that. Of course, you don't have to go out of your way to make others smile ;) LOL. My point was to forget that you have any issues. And remember there are many people in this world who have acne on their heart, so to speak, what about that )) So relax!
4. As I said, it's just a matter of years and who knows, if you accept yourself for now and take positive steps with confidence, you may not have acne anymore, right?
No one can build your self esteem, but you! When you show your true self to the world without fear and judgment, people would want to share space with you, want to be with you because they see your beautiful heart, not your acne.
So good luck and keep smiling ))
Hugs ))
I want to love from where we get it ?
hey there,
You have not specified your age or gender. Love is not something to be searched, neither does it come from anywhere. Ask yourself this question "why do I want to love?". Love is the most beautiful thing in this world and rules everything else. However, one does not find love by looking for it. First, learn to love yourself for who you are. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin. And when you feel complete in yourself, you will come across the right one for you sooner than later.
I know perhaps all this did not make any sense to you )) Be patient and stop looking for love... instead let it happen. Better be the right kind of love than getting it early but wrong.
Good luck!
Hi, how do you know if your good friend likes you or interested in you but also he's flirty and teasing frequently however can be moody as well. I reckon he likes me but then he does this harmless jokes with others too so it's hard to know whether he's flirting or joking. All answers are appreciated. Thank you all.
Hey there ))
Why do you want to assume anything until he comes and confesses his feelings for you? Relax and enjoy the good friendship for now )) If he is joking around and flirting with all other girls, perhaps other girls feel the same like you. Take it easy and let it happen when it has to happen.
Good luck!
i know being an india girl i must follow some rules and regulation to be a "good girl".but comeon its 21st century and i am an educated urban dudette..still my conscience and family background root my mind into a deeper cocoon of ethics and morality..i think i am balanced in both ways..problem is with my boyfriend. he is in a foreign country,pursuing PhD, where "free mixing" is cool. but he still behaves like a typical indian old school guy..to him talking about sex is also illegitimate, or should i put it like this, he is too shy even if i use the word "kiss".. i like to fantacize him but he is too far both physically n mentally from this idea..though we are going to get married next year..ours is a long distance relationship,commenced only half a year, i admit its too early to talk of sex n all, n when its like we haven't met yet face to face..relationship is digital but the bond we two share is not virtual..i am a human being and sometimes its my body needs to feel the warmth of another human being, if not by physical touch but at least with the notion of it..so i start talking and he feels shy and assures me of his urges n stamina n he changes the topic of discussion.. n i feel so embarassed.i wonder if he is not normal or too generous for me.or is he impotent!! what should i do to unveil the mistry of his parahumane behaviour?provided he won't give it a chance before the nupital knot takes place.
Hi there ))
I am not going to comment more about your boyfriend's attitude towards being open minded on being physical over phone. All I can tell you is that, every individual is different.
I am afraid, your decision to get married based on a 6 months virtual relationship, scares me! I am not at all saying that you both are not meant for each other, no, not at all! We all are different and we all have our own priorities, likes and dislikes. Most relationships and marriages break because the topmost 1,2 or 3 needs we value the most in a relationship are not fulfilled or missing. You need to give yourself and him some time to know each other more, face to face. Go out together, feel the feeling being with each other. According to me physical compatibility is one of the most important things in any relationship. If 2-3 most important needs of the partners in relationship are satisfied, it's easy to ignore the remaining not so important needs. But in order for you both to know that, you have to first meet and spend some time as if you were together.
Anyway, I kind of got charged up with I read your question and thought I wanted to comment on this. Feel free to contact me, if you need more clarification or if you have doubts at my email address.
Much love .. hugs ))
So my boyfriend and I are in college, he is 22 and I am 20 but we are a only a grade apart. He has to do a fifth year of college due to being in the ROTC program, so we will both be at school next year. We have been "officially" dating for a little over three months but have been essentially dating for six and trying to keep it on the down low because of some other issues. Anyway, before we started dating he brought up the fact that he would probably be deployed at some point in the next five years. Even though he will be in the army reserves, there is a very high change that they will need officers and the he will serve at least one if not two deployments. He told me that I am the first girl he has ever seen a future with (he has mentioned marriage and children) and wanted to talk this over with me before we started getting more serious. He told me I didn't need to give him an answer yet but that it is definitely something I need to be thinking about. It's sort of been skirting around in the back of my head because I know we are still a very young relationship. In theory, yes, I would never leave the man I love because of his service. It's not like he would be going overseas to vacation. He would be putting his life on the line to protect people and I find that incredibly noble and respectable and would 100% support the man that I loved were this the case. I suppose my only reservation is that our relationship would not be strong enough or that I wouldn't see enough of a future with him when the time comes. I'm only 20. and while I do see a future with him right now, I'm not naive and I know I still have a lot of growing up to do. I just don't want to say I will be there right now and then say "oops never mind!" should the time come. I guess I just really don't know how to approach the whole topic. I know he deserves an answer and some sort of security because he doesn't want to invest time in someone that will just leave him down the road for something he has no control over. A lot of my friends romanticize the whole thing, "tell him your heart will be here waiting!" but, come on. It flatters me that he wants to look so far into the future but I'm still trying to figure out what that means and he and I are still trying to figure out our feelings for each other. I don't have any friends or family in the service or married/dating someone in the service and that kind of input/perspective would be incredibly helpful!
Hey there ))
Everyone of is different and unique and each of us has his/her perspectives about life and how they want to live it! You cannot deem one perspective being good/right and the other being bad/wrong. Given the fact that you have been dating for just over five months, I completely agree and understand your struggle to commit to anything just yet. In fact I respect the fact that you are being honest about how much and what you feel towards your friend. You are absolutely right in thinking and questioning these things.
Coming to your concern, it's unfortunate that he may be deployed to some station in coming years and you both may not get enough time together to know and see the relationship growing. At the same time, I am guessing that the guy is a little serious types and perhaps does not believe in giving enough time to know each other. There is one kind of love where you meet a partner and you just know that you both are meant for each other. There is that strong chemistry at mental and physical level which is very obvious and magical. I don't see that is the case in your situation. The fact that you posted this question speaks a lot.
So, here is how I would think about it. You both are in the age where love/romantic feelings are at it's peak and so are the chemicals rushing all over the place. I know you respect the guy for whatever he is. But respecting his values and views does not mean that you disrespect your feelings. You are not someone who would let a guy go just like that only because he is going to be away for a while serving his country or whatever. Today you are worried and concerned about how he might feel if you tell him that this is not going to work out (for whatever reason). But that fear is only because you don't want to see him being hurt. It's like you saying 'OMG, here is this guy, wanting to spend rest of his life with me and I am thinking all this, just because he is going to be away from me for few years'. Well, that is not the only thing though )) You have to take a more bold and mature stand for the good of everyone concerned i.e. you and him. I would suggest you to let it go! It's better to hurt him now (as it is you guys have been dating for only 3-4 months, which is nothing) rather than later. If you don't speak up NOW, he will be under assumption that you are for it and you will keep wondering what is all this going on. In short, your relationship with him will be stuck and kind of a mess. You have to owner yourself and him. By not being honest to him now, in a way you are betraying him. Sure, he may be devastated, mad at you, feel terrible and many more things. But that is absolutely OK. And you don't need to explain him more than needed, just to make him feel good about it. You both are very young and there is whole youth and life in front of you. Trust me, what you call love or love feelings will come again for some other person. And I am saying this for you and for your friend. You have to trust your feelings, your heart, your soul and moreover honor him and yourself. Be honest to the core and just tell him how you feel. Don't try to sugar-coat your sentences and confuse him more about it. Be polite, be gentle, be compassionate at the same time be absolutely clear. He would respect you more as a person if you tell him the truth about what you feel. You both may end up being good friends for life. You and him, both will find your new partners very soon after your let this go. Imagine how beautiful it would be, when you both communicate 5 years from now, when you both are happy with your life, laughing over the emotions and mess that you would have had to go through, had you not confessed.
I think I went little haywire about the whole topic. So I would recommend to let it go and be honest at the core. And you either love someone or you don't! There is no in between )) I can tell you honestly that you don't love him, the way you would want to love someone. And you are not answerable to anyone, neither to him nor your common friends )) You are only answerable to yourself. The matter of fact is that, you would be betraying him and yourself if you don't open up and express yourself to him. So don't give it too much thought. The more you think about it, the more your ego mind would put you in fear of rejection. Just find a quiet place to sit for an hour, everyday for 2-3 days. Just sit, relax, breath and ask your heart - Do I really want to continue this? I bet the answer would be NO! Once you are sure about that, stop thinking about it or asking anyone. Just call him and talk to him.
On the flip side, if you both are meant to be together, you would end up being together no matter what. So don't worry about it. Spiritually speaking, this is a learning for you and your friend, to be yourself! ))
Let me know how it went...
Much love and light hugs ))
12 year old female. I used to be suicidal majorly, for 2 years I was suicidal. Even had panic attacks. Eventually I started cutting. I cut on my arms, legs and stomach. It got to the point where for a year and a half every night when I took a shower I'd cut myself. It's been 4 months since I've done that and my life got much better. I now have a lot of friends, hobbys and everything is much better now in every area. The only thing is now when I shave I can't without trembling. The problem is hair is everywhere I used to cut using that razor. Now I need to shave with that razor, and every time I do that it reminds me of cutting and it freaks me out and I can't. How do I get over this?
Dear sweetheart :-)
First of all you should try using other options as other female advisers suggested ))
As for your trembling and your past suicidal traits, I am so happy for you that it is past and over...yeah!!! To put it in short, it had most likely to do with self-worth issue for whatever reasons. Do you know that you are a beautiful being. No matter what anyone else tells you or the way they treat you, remember that your life is as important as anyone else on this planet and you are as precious as the most beautiful flower or the most stunning diamond on planet earth. Look at yourself in the mirror and see through the wonderful Soul that you are. Instead of trembling, I want you to cry for yourself. Value yourself for who you are, no matter what others talk about you. Love yourself and celebrate your existence in this Universe. Pamper your self with all goodies. Treat yourself with beautiful scented oil and rose petals next time you take your shower. I am not saying this to trick you but this is the fact.
Stay happy, express yourself, be open, be an example to others and help people who don't value their life...
Much love and blessings xo ))
Hello,
I'm from Brazil.
I need to clarify that i'm a girl, who had a relationship with another girl, so if thats not something thats not approved here, feel free to not answer.
We broke up a year ago (or more) and yesterday she talked to me and apologized for everything that went bad in our past relashionship (and it was a lot, not just her fault), I did the same thing and then we talked about how our lives were going for the most of the day. Today I started a conversation about a random subject, but that was quick and then we didnt talk for the rest of the day. Now I'm not sure if she just wanted to apologize and that was it, or try and be friends again (which we were before we dated). I dont tend to start conversations and as I did it today, I was wondering If I should try it again tomorrow to see how that goes.
And she has a girlfriend now, even If I dont like her like that anymore its still a bit weird.
Sorry it's so long and superficial, thank you for taking the time if you did.
When it comes to relationships, we all end up assuming a lot of things. Every assumed thought gives rise to more thoughts, imaginations, fantasies and what not.
Based on what you described it seems like you still love your girlfriend or at least value the friendship you shared with her at some point. There is no need for you to think so much about it. If she has to be part of your life, she will be no matter what. As long as your heart and intentions are clean, don't worry about the outcome. Perhaps she is thinking on the same lines as you.
So just plan to meet at a quiet place may be outdoor. Take a deep breath and just start opening your heart slowly. It will be little uncomfortable to begin but once you start talking with her with an open heart, things will just flow. Don't plan and think a lot before the meeting. In fact no one needs to tell you what exactly you should talk to her. Just trust your heart completely and go with it. Surrender yourself to the love you have towards her (not necessary romantic love but genuine unconditional love and another being). Do not worry about what and how would she react to your talk. If she understands you, she would start sharing as well and you both may end up crying :) By being yourself and being true to your heart, you would be helping her to open up as well. Hope I made sense.
Good luck and do update when you have a soul-to-soul conversation with her.
Love always!
I've been singing for a couple of years now, mainly in church and at a couple of weddings every now and then. Over the years I can tell I've gotten a lot better from when I first started and recently I've had this idea to start my own YouTube channel. The problem is, everytime I actually get ready to create it, I start having doubts. I'm not sure if its confidence I'm lacking or not. I'll be so sure about it one day and the next I'll feel like it's a stupid idea and I shouldn't even bother. I really want to try and see how it'll turn out, but at the moment I'm not so sure. What should I do?
One of the most dreadful thing that keep us from expressing our true genuine self to the fullest is FEAR or DOUBT. Just go ahead and record one of your favorite song video. Tell your self that you may or may not post the video on you tube, but record it anyways. By doing that you have already taken the first and the most important step to act or take action. Before and while recording the video, just don't think about you tube or anything. Tell yourself that you are doing it because you love doing it. If the video does not come out to your standards, re-record it as many times as you want. Once you have the video ready, now tell yourself that you know music and you have the talent. Sharing the video online is not always about becoming popular, but you want to share your gift and talent with the world. Forget about whether people like it or not, just go ahead and create a youtube channel and post it.