Vexxia's advice column | Page 2

home view feedback ask questions add as friend advicenators

Gender:

Female

Location:

Colorado

Occupation:

Student and Leasing Agent

Age:

20

MSN:

Mysticvex

Member Since:

June 2, 2005

Answers:

47

Last Update:

January 7, 2006

Visitors:

5651

Main Categories:

about

I'm facinated with the way things work. I've always been told that I'm creative, and I give good advice, but that isn't the most interesting thing about me. I feel like I'm a deeper person than most people know, and so I'm a volcano of advice. All of my friends/aquaintences come to me in time of need for advice, so I suppose I must be good at it. I'm always looking for something a little bit more complicated even among the simplist of things. I'm overly perceptive and analytical. Feel free to contact me directly with questions through the website.

advice

hi,I'm a 15 girl and yesterday i had sex with my boyfriend,well sort of he whent in a little then pulled out then he cumed on my pubic hair could i get pregnate?even if my cherry hasnt been poped?please withe A.S.A.P! i rate very usefull!

OMG!! I read your other advice and only one nailed it on the head. (no pun intended) You can get pregnant from being fingered with cum on it. The pull out meathod is the least effective for birth control ever!!! There is such thing as pre-cum. Pre-cum looks harmless but it's just as concentrated as ejaculatory semen. Pre-cum happens throughout sex, so if you weren't using a condom, just because he came outside of your vagina doesn't mean he didn't deposit any pre cum during sex. Your cherry is called your heymen. It's only a small covering of skin over the vagina. Chances are your heymen was popped a long time ago. Most girls are 'popped' when they use tampons, do gymnastics, ride horses, do the splits you name it. It has nothing to do with getting pregnant, it actually has no known purpose. For future reference, you shouldn't be having unprotected sex. 1st for the prevention of disease. 2nd for avoiding pregnancy and 3rd for cervical cancer. What type of birth control are you on? If you are on the pill there is still a 2% chance of getting pregnant. If you are on the ring, shot or patch it is 1% and if you are using a diaphram its 6%. USE A CONDOM!!!! and if your family is particularly fertile use spermicidal lubricant or foam. But, make sure, read the side of the bottle, that it doesn't lower the effectiveness or sturdiness of the condom. I think that's all.

This is to all the boys out there... Do you like it when girls kiss you wearing lip gloss? And if so what types? Like flavored or just shiny...and if flavored what flavors do you guys prefer. Thanx.
I RATE HIGH

Lipgloss just gets in the way. I'm a girl by the way, but I'm a lesbian, and it sucks to kiss lipstick or lipgloss. I like light chapstick or nothing the best. And... the most important thing is the breath and the texture of your tounge... not the lipgloss.

does anybody know a good brand of men's deoderant(stick, not spray, please)?

I LOVE OLD SPICE PURE SPORT!!!! I use it, and I'm a girl. I know that sounds really weird, but I dated a guy recently who wore the same, I love the smell and I don't like anything else.

I finally persuaded my mom to let me bleach my hair. I want to get it dyed 3 unnatural colors in certain places...Do you bleach your hair first and wait a few days until you dye it? Or can you just dye it after you bleach it?

You should use bleach with a conditioner. You can buy all that stuff at Sally Beauty supply. Then you should use a non-permanent or semi-permanent color with no bleach or alcohol in it. It will wash out soon after, but by that time you would be able to dye it with permanent color without damaging your hair and have to opportunity to try it first. After you've colored it, deep condition it, and use shampoo for colored hair. Also, if you are brunette the bleach won't turn it blond at first- it will be more of a rust. So you should wait at least two weeks before you bleach it again, and at that time a lower concentration. Be sure not to leave it on too long.

I'm 13 && had discharge for almost 2 years. recently it turned to a light brown for about 4 days. now i barely have it. Is it normal to have discharge that long && what does it mean that it was brown for like 4 day?

It's dried blood from your uteral lining. Every 28 days women have a menstural cycle. A period is the sluffing of the lining of the uterus. Your body prepares the lining for holding a baby. If you don't become pregnant the lining is expelled from the body. So, as your other answers said, this is the beginning of your period. Your body is beginning to create lining, but it isn't as concentrated because of the amount of hormones being produced in your body. When you are maturing the level of hormones will increase, causing your breasts to grow, public hair to emerge and your lining to thicken. You should have a normal period, lasting about 4-5 days of red blood, in about 2 months.

Ok, I need some advice. Just words of wisdom to help me out. My ex boyfriend wants to get back together with me, but I am having a hard time trusting him and understanding him. So, I am going to let you read an AIM conversation between us and let me know what you think. Ok? Just give me whatever advice comes your way. Here it is:

Before you read it: Cory left me back in January for a girl named Allyson who is in California. He even went to see her over the summer. WE are in Indiana. Cory is in college and I am taking the semester off to work and be with family after the breakup. Cory was cheating on me with Allyson (telling her that he loved her and had already dumped me) for 4 months before I found out. He says he fell in love with her! He told me that he never loved me like he loved her and all of that. I was devastated. He and I had been together for nearly 3 years!!!!! Well, now, they are over and he has come back to me. He wants me back and is asking for my trust and wants me to be with him. we even made out a week ago and it was AMAZING! But, I can't seem to let the past go. Just read this. Now that you have a little background, you should understand!

Me: Hey baby! How are y?ou
Him: fine
Me: you ok?
Me: busy?
Him: a little
Me: Hmmmm
Me: who are you talking to?
Me: Laugh out Loud
Me: Just kidding
Him: no one
Him: working on this song
Me: Cool Beans Batman!
Me: My hair is BLONDE!
Him: ok, good
Me: you didn't like it dark?
Him: not really
Me: Laugh out loud, ok
Me: Well, its like almost white
Me: Kinda hard to get used to
Him: we'll see
Me: Ok
Me: I found some old pictures of us on a CD
Me: I ripped all of the paper ones
Him: ok
Me: Sorry!
Me: Did you take Allyson's pictures off your phone?
Him: no, just like i didn't take yours off my computer
Me: Hmmmmm....
Me: But hers are Nasty cause she is a whore and all and if you want to forget her, then why keep them?
Him: she's not a whore, and i'm not going to put up with that (insert my name here)
Me: ?
Me: with what?
Him: i am not going to put up with you bad mouthing my ex
Me: And I have reason to NOT do that?
Him: you'll lose some of my respect
Me: Well, ok, I wont bad mouth her, but, um, why keep the pictures?
Him: i want to remember
Me: you want to remember leaving me and hurting me?
Him: i want to remember her, and california, and the good times we had
Me: Why? Why does it mean that much to you if you are over her?
Me: I will tell you why, cause you still love her, and want her, and you dont love me, you only want me cause you and her are over. I am just a rebound! You dont regret ANYTHING that you did at all. You dont even think it was wrong, do you? I get it now!
Him: o my god, i am not going to put up with this shit, night
Me: I am not trying to be rude, I am sorry
Me: I am just hurt cause I see it now
Him: no, you don't
Him: cause that
Him: that's not it
Him: i am tired of your jealous attitude
Him: just fuck it
Him: forget everything that's happened the past couple of weeks between us
Him: bye
Me: How can I not be jealous? You left me for her.
Me: Sorry!
Him: do you WANT to lose me again, cause you are going to..
Me: I am sorry, what is it that I dont understand then?
Him: i just want to remember her! christ!
Him: jesus FUCKING christ
Me: Well, ok, but how would you feel if I had half nude pics of Nick on my phone and would not delete them? I mean, others, ok, I can see that.
Me: Is this really what you want? : forget everything that's happened the past couple of weeks between us
Him: it seems to be what you want
Me: No, it isn't Cory!
Him: then just shut up about the past
Him: i am not going to talk about it anymore
Me: I WANT YOU! But, I cant help it that I am jealous of her, Cory! You cant expect me to just let it go whenever it was something that hurt me as much as it did. You just dont undertsand that.
Me: And I am sorry that you dont want to talk about it, but talking about it helps my insecurities
Me: Talking is what we have to do to fix the problems
Him: well, i just don't want to talk about it
Me: So, you don't want to fix my insecurities? Cause thats about the only way
Me: I mean, you couldn't have expected this to all be easy? I thought we agreed to fix things together. Remember? You even said "Then let me heal you" when I told you that I was still hurt. And, I am!
Me: I can't help that.
Him: i'm just busy, and i want to just forget everything from before
Me: Then why r you mad at me
Me: ?
Him: i'm not
Me: I think you are
Me: I was just trying to talk to you and you blew up. AGAIN
Me: ?
Him: i'm just writing this music
Him: it's star wars
Me: Ok
Me: Well.....
Me: ?
Him: wanna hear it so far?
Me: Cory, I love you sweetie and I want to be with you again and make this work, but your always blowing up on me. And I am sorry that I am insecure, but I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND AND HELP ME WITH IT!
Me: Sure
Him: just a sec then
Me: ?
Me: you calling?
Him: yes
Me: You dont sound to happy to talk to me when you call
Him: i am just preoccupied here
Me: ok, so, back on the subject......
Me: Like I said:
Me: Cory, I love you sweetie and I want to be with you again and make this work, but your always blowing up on me. And I am sorry that I am insecure, but I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND AND HELP ME WITH IT!
Me: Thats EXACTLY how I feel
Him: well, not much i can do, you just have to get over things, and give it time
Me: get over what?
Him: the past
Me: and what about you blowing up on me?
Him: just cause i am busy
Me: Ok, well, I guess I can try to be more understanding about that, but you need to try not to
Him: ok
Me: But, you already said to foget everything, so.....
Me: and you said that I was going to lose you
Him: just stop
Me: ?
Him: i'm going to bed
Him: i'm tired of this tonight
Me: Ok, well, did you mean what you said?
Him: no
Me: If so, just tell me
Me: Ok, then, why did you say it?
Him: just tired of talking about all this stuff
Me: O My God! I am doing it AGAIN! This is what drove you crazy last time. I nit pick! Every word you say
Him: yeah, exactly
Me: UGH! I am sorry!
Him: going to bed
Him: to bed i said
Me: Laugh Out Loud
Me: Well, Sorry!
Him: night, love you
Him: night
Me: Just give it time, I will stop being so stupid!
Me: And I love you too!
Me: gnite
Him: is away at 11:14:18 PM.

Let me know what you think!

He sounds like a loser. He doesn't love you. It doesn't sound like either of you knows what love is to throw it around like that. If he cheated on you he doesn't love you. Maybe he loves the sex, maybe he loves the attention, maybe he loves thinking about all the good times- but he doesn't love you. Visa versa, you don't love him, you just hate yourself. You are thinking that you didn't have something that made him go elsewhere and that's why you want him back, and want him to appologize and tell you that he was wrong. But even if he does tell you that he didn't mean it, he did. He was wrong, and most likely will tell you that he was wrong, but even if he says it, it doesn't mean anything. The fact is that he lied and broke your heart and that should be the end of it. I've been there. You must be around 14 or 15. Well, I'm 20 now, and if I look back at those situations there was no love, it was all lust, it was all about insecurites and making him want you to prove to yourself that you are 'wantable'. This is not the way to do it. You should love yourself, and not need a guy to tell you that you are beautiful, because you should just know that. Plus, in your question you made it sound like he wanted to be back with you more than you wanted to be with him, and from your conversation it makes it sound like you are beggin him back to you. Stop talking to him and be over with it. He doesn't respect you, and you aren't respecting yourself to even consider going back with him.

I heard this patriotic song on the radio (I live in the USA)...it was sung by a choir and it was beautiful. The song was called HOMELAND. But I can't find it anywhere. Can someone find me the lyrics? I remember the melody, but not the words. I just remember that they mentioned something about "the love that stays unquestioned" or worded like that. It's supposed to be a popular choral piece...

Remember that summer
Down by the shoreline
I still can hear those old
Forgotten songs
And we made promises
To last forever
I just cant belive those
Days are gone
There used to be a place
That we could call our own
We used to think tomorrow
Was a long, long time
But sadness filled my heart
When I knew the moment had come
When I had to leave those days
Behind
I felt so free
Where I wanted to be
The days went so fast
How I wish they could last
So far from my homeland
Im lost in time
My souls still searchin
For that peace of mind
Those sacred landscapes
Come miles around
And my hearts still beatin
For those country grounds
Remember when our hearts
Were filled with laughter
It echoes in my trail
Of fallen tears
But no matter where I am today
Or what the future might bring
I will remember those
Long gone years
I cant let go
I wanna know
Does it have to end
For the best of friends
So far from my homeland
Im lost in time
And my souls still searchin
For that peace of mind
Those sacred landscapes
Come miles around
And my hearts still beatin
For those country grounds
Lord I know
That those days are gone
Long, long, gone
I felt so free
Where I wanted to be
The days went so fast
How I wish they could last?

So I am 15 years old and I am 5'3 I currently weigh 215 lbs. I would really like to be about 140 by the first of June ( you know summer time )
I work out maybe twice a week for about an hour at a time. I don't drink and pop at all and I replace school lunch with a salad. Is there anyway possible to loose 60-75 lbs in 6 months? I would even be satisfied with 50. I really want this. I work alot and don't have alot of time for working out for such. And I have alot of dairy in my regular diet. I rate 5's!! please I would really appresheate all your help.

Run 2 miles everyday and eat healthy. Keep your caloric intake around 3000 per day, and no more fat!! Eat balanced, the low carb diet only works while you're on it, and you will quickly gain the weight back. Plus, carbs are where you get energy to work out from. You don't want to exhaust your body because you won't have any energy to work out and most likely will not feel good. No more dairy. They best idea would be to see a nutritionist and they would make a plan specifically for you. ALso, if you work a lot, park further from whereever you are going, walk instead of drive. Bike on the weekends instead of videogames, wrestle your friends, race your dog whatever you can do to integrate activity into your life. You won't lose 50 lbs by just changing your diet, you have to condition your body to metabolise fats.

i've been with my boyfriend for over a month and he still hasn't kissed me? i'm his first real girlfriend so i don't think he's ever kissed anyone before. he also still has braces and he's really insecure about them. he desperately wants to get them off and talks about it all the time. do you think maybe he could be waiting for that to happen? that would suck. how can i hint that i want him to kiss me without coming right out and saying it (that would be weird!)?

Kiss him...

if i go to the gym will i only gain muscle or will i lose weight? how can i do both without looking TOO buff?

Well, not that your other two answers aren't right in their own way.. but it has to do with how much weight you are lifting and how many repetitions. If you do high weight and less repititions you gain muscle. If you lift low weight (like 10 lbs) for several sets of repitions you tone- losing fat.

But, if you weigh yourself, you will gain weight. But muscle weighs 1.5 times as much as fat. So don't look at the scale.

does it hurt to have sex the 1st time for girls?
will the guy leave you?
and im to scared to wear tampons so do you think it will hurt?

dont be a bitch.
i rate high

In my experience if you are confident enough in yourself, then sex will be how you want it to be. If a guy leaves you after having sex with you- good ridden's to him- he was an asshole anyways.... and there is no use spending time on assholes.

It didn't hurt to have sex the first time for me. I was with a guy for 2 years and we didn't have sex- a lot of messing around though. I think maybe that's why it didn't hurt the first time. Also, I used dildos before having sex- so maybe that helped to.

Tampons are wayyyy better than pads. If you need to use tiny ones and work up its worth it not to be sitting in blood all day. They come in very small sizes, and they've been around a very long time, so they have some history. People wouldn't use them if they hurt, but it's a matter of personal preference.

I was in art class when my "friend" came up to me and tugged my braid 'affectionately', but it hurt me and I ended up screaming almost at the top of my lungs "JESUS!" I felt bad after that because almost the whole class was staring at me, and my friend was ticked that I had screamed because she had done that to me before, but I think it's childish now and I refuse to let her. I feel really bad because you really shouldn't scream that in ANY class for that matter, because it might offend some people. I think I might have offended some people, but I was really embarrassed because I screamed so loud and I was dead quiet and my face was red. I don't know what to do. What should I do?

Fuck em'.

I have these really weird & un-attractive black dots on my nose... I think there black-heads & they are VERY small, but there are so many of them...

how can I get rid of them?

thank you so much!

Squeeze em'.

what is the best way for love to happen? i've heard that love for sight is just lust. i think love is build on friendship, is this true?

Love is the kind of thing that has no rule book. Love is random, like most things.
I wouldn't think too much about it because there are no answers.

*as an added note, what attracts people to oneanother is sight, how else would you know you were attracted to them.*

so my sister just got a mini doxen and my aunt is a groomer, is it true when it's fully grown, it will become a mean dog? are they good dogs?

I have a mini-dachshund named Guido. I've had him for 3 years-since he was a pup, he's the greatest thing ever. I took him to my highschool a lot, so he loves people. I would say that is what made him sociable- instead of being protective. Take him out- to dog parks and such, family functions, as many people as possible and he won't get mean at all.

i just started my period... im a little late .
what should i use tampons or pads?

Tampons for sure.

ok this is really worryin me my g/f is in middlsboro with her mom 4 the summer there is alot of boys that like her up there. i mean yea i trust her and all but i rlly dont kno what 2 think about all those boys can any1 help me????

If she cheats- then she's not worth it.

ok im 25 and have alot of streach marks is there any way to get rid of them? please help

Cocoa Butter and Shea Butter- also there's tea tree oil which they recommend for pregnancy- to be used in small amounts. But all three are good.

alright my boy friend has some issues and i dont know wat to do about it . He has a problem in figuring out who he wants to be . He sed one day that he wants to be gothic but then he changed his mind and i cant stand all the pressure of worrying about him all the time . I realy love him and i dont know wat i wud do with out him but im tired of waiting on him to figure out who he wants to be and im scared to break up with him cuz i love him so much . Wat shud i do?? -worried

Sounds like you boyfriend doesn't have issues. I have a closet full of clothes- everyday I dress like I feel- goth, punk, skater, prep, etc. I've been doing it for 7 years, and I don't think I have issues, I think I'm creative and real with myself. If he's doing it to make a statement, then maybe he has issues, but I wouldn't bother with it. You should try it too.

hey i have a tough decision to make. yes its tough for me. tomorrow (tuesday) i can either go to bible school or my softball leagues party. i really wanna go to both but they are at the same time. i already said id go to bible school but i also said id go to the party with my friend. will someone please help me decide and give me good reasons y i should go to what you chose?

Bible school half the time then softball leagues party half the time. Who says you can't have your cake and eat it too?

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>

humorist-workshop