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is anyone out there a teenage mom? can you tell me how your finding it cuz i think i might be pregnant.

I am not a teenage mom, but if you want to know whether you're pregnant or not, make a test or go to the doctor. If you're afraid someone might see you buying a test, find a pharmacy that is not very close to your home and school. In any way, it is better to find out if you're pregnant or not sooner than later, so you wouldn't have to torture yourself with all this uncertainty. Although, don' forget that pregnancy tests aren't 100 percent true, as well as condoms can't always give you the absolute protection. Before you do something, make sure that you will not have to pay for that later, and learn to take care of yourself if your boyfriend isn't so concerned with your health and safety.

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My best friend is very selfish and always takes advantage of me and i dont like it, and i have like no other friends anymore because i was always trying to please her (shes kinda high maintenence) and shes hard to talk to about this stuff because shell get all mad and defensive and wind up manipulating me to make me think that im the bad person, but really everyone tells me how shes bad and now she wants me to do drugs and get tattoos and other stuff that i dont think i wanna do... but i have no other friends..so what do i do.

You won't get very far if you're going to keep on following her orders and doing things she tells you to do. No one has a right to force you into doing something you dislike, and maybe she IS the reason why you don't have other friends after all. If you don't want to do tattoos and drugs, then don't. Maybe tattoo is not the worst thing in the world, but don't forget that it may be quite painful to make it, and if one day you'll want it gone, it would be painful (yes, again) to remove it. And drugs, by the way, are just naturally destructive. If your friend wants you to repeat every stupid step she makes, remind her that you can think for yourself, which, apparently, wasn't even considered in your relationship. I don't know if your friend is bad, selfish, or just lost, but try to explain to her that it is time for you to take responsibility for your own life, and if she still wants to be your friend, she has to stop trying to affect you, and force you to do something that's just plain stupid.

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Awright, 16/f. Three of my friends and I are starting a band (ska/punk, if it matters), and we've got some huge plans for this. It's a common dream. Music brought us all together and all that stuff. Well, the only problems is that all of these friends are boys who are 19 or older and my mom either doesn't like them or hasn't met them. They're good guys and I know I'm completely safe around them, but I know that my mom wouldn't approve of them because they're punks. It's gotten to the point where I had to lie to be able to hang out with them, telling mom that i had different plans.
How can we make this band work if my mom decides she doesn't want me hanging out with the guys? Or how to I make it so she can meet them and approve without them having to change their tastes? PLease help!
Thanks,
-JJ Girl

Try to explain to your mother that not everything is as it seems to be. Sometimes we narrow our vision by seeing only stereotypes instead of people. If your mom doesn't like guys you're hanging out with, try to let them know each other better in a way that would be comfortable for everyone. Maybe it's better to let your mom meet them one by one, so she wouldn't see them only as a group of punks.

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okay so i have a sister that is a couple years older then me and she is really nice but really bossy. she always makes me do things for her and i do them because i dont want her to not like me. it is getting really out of hand and i am like her SLAVE now. i feel like she is taking advantage of me but i dont know what to do, help!

Try to talk to your sister and make her understand how you feel. The only person who can boss you around is *you*, because this life is originally yours. If you're afraid that she will stop liking you, remind yourself that she's your sister, and there's really nowhere to go from here. Family is family, and truth to be told, most (but not all) of the big sister are like that. The one thing that is also important to realize is that you are NOT helping her when you're doing things for her she could've done herself. Every person must be strong and independent, and Damsels In Distress are not survivor types anymore. Survive and succeed those who use their fears and other stumbling blocks as stepping stones. So actually, what you've got to do is use your insecurity about what your sister (or anyone else for that matter) will think of you as a stepping stone, and let her know that you can choose your own behavior and make your own decisions, which, by the way, you wish for her as well. You can't always use someone's back when you're tired of walking.

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19/F

I had a (male) friend over today, and we were watching movies and drinking together. Just innocent fun.

I ended up getting more tipsy than I usually do, and we ended up starting to have sex. I sobered up pretty quickly and made him stop before we actually did, and sent him home.

Here's the thing: I have a boyfriend who I love dearly. We're talking about moving in together when our leases expire, and we've discussed marriage.

He's the one I really want, and I feel sick having cheated on him. I know I could never do it ever again. I hate what I did.

So my question is, what do I do? Do I tell him? Will that hurt him more than if he doesn't know? Should it be on a "don't ask, don't tell" basis?

Keep in mind that my boyfriend is the man I want to be with for the rest of my life, and that this friend was equally as intoxicated as myself.

Thank you! I'm tearing myself to pieces because of this.

To tell him the truth or not may be a hard, yet inevitable choice to make. This is your life, and it is up to you what kind of relationship you're going to have with your boyfriend. Telling him the truth may lead to losing him, or at least to lots of angst and tears. But having such a secret to keep, may also be pretty tough for you. Besides, if you'll decide to keep it a secret, you will have to make sure that your boyfriend won't find it out from someone else. If the friend you almost slept with told someone about your making out, and that someone did the same, and then it repeated, you, my darling, may find yourself in a very unpleasant Ross & Rachel kind of situation. So, decide a direction in which you will go with this, and try to do everything you can to keep your happiness, and work on your relationship, independently from the choice you've made. Remember, true love and happiness are not the common things, so probably it's something both, you and your boyfriend don't want to lose.

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me and my friends (girls and boys) made this kind of crazy bet last week. i won't go into detail because the moderators might delete my question, but now one of the boys (we'll call him T) is starting to get a little too friendly for my liking. i mean, he's cute and all, but this problem has been happening to me for at least 5 years now. T just can't keep his hands off of me! he'll touch my butt & run, come up behind me & "accidentally" bump into me, or put his hands on my chest.& on top of that, he keeps callin me his girl! i guess it's my fault for letting him do it, but i do tell him to stop & try turn the other way when he reaches for my chest. i guess what i'm trying to ask is,how should i deal with this? i don't want to gget him in trouble by reporting him to the principal, because that seems like i'll be taking it a little too far. if anybody can give some suggestions, that would be great!!!

First of all, decide if you want him in your life at all. I understand that since you're going to school, it's not much of a choice, but no one has a right to touch you if you don't want it. I didn't understand anything about the *bet* for now, but you can email me later if you want to go into detail about that.

Anyway, just choose what kind of relationship you want to have with this guy. Is he your friend, buddy, or just "a guy from school"? Do you like him, and how he really feels about you? Are you flirting with him sometimes, or maybe he's trying to flirt with you in that strange (stupid actually) manner? In any way, if you don't want to have anything to do with him, just let him know that you are not some little girl he can play with when he wants to, and make him realize that if the "hand wandering" accidents will happen again, you'll report about it instantly.

I don't know if the guy you're talking about is good, bad, or the ugly, but be careful, because if you started to have thoughts about reporting him to the principal, things may really get ugly, and the fact that he is no gentlemen is already obvious. So just play safe, make things clear for him, and, just in case, don't get drunk in front of him, and have 911 easily accessible in your cell phone.

If you will further problems with this guy, don't be shy and write to me.


Lyss

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so i was watching The Wedding Date earlier, very good movie and the guy said

"I think I'd miss you even if we'd never met. "

what exactly does that mean?


THANKS!!

It means, that if you live your life without having someone really special to love, you will always have a kind of emptiness inside, because everybody want someone to love. You know like young girls often fall in love with the movie and book characters? Well, it's because even if you don't have anyone to love in your life, it doesn't mean that you don't have the love for that. Everybody have a love to give, and when you meet someone who seems to be so right and familiar to you as if you've known them all your life, all the love that wasn't expressed, springs out in happiness, which only makes you realize why it was there all along.

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14/f

I'm fourteen years old, and I weigh 220 pounds. I don't look like I weigh that much because I'm 5'6, but I still look big. I really want to lose like 80 pounds before October, but I have no clue where to start. I'd like to start as soon as possible. It's weird, because I think I have a really pretty face but I'm big. I was watching this video from a wedding I was in and I look really fat compared to all the other girls in my family. Plus diabetes is common in my family and I want to be healthy. Please help. =(

Okay, first of all you have to change your focus from feeling fat and unpretty, to feeling slim and beautiful. The more you feel like it's true, the more good thoughts, feelings, and emotions you will experience in association with your body. It is good to leave some time every day for a visualization or meditation, during which you will let go of all your worries and fears concerning your physical condition. You should get as many good feelings and emotions about your body as you can, because it changes the state of vibration you're in. If you feel good about yourself, if you believe that you're already lean, fit, and pretty, it would be much easier to do physical exercises, eat light, healthy food, and take good care about your body, because we are more willing to keep the good that we have, than run from the bad that we hate.

Oh, and one thing about physical exercising. When you're doing them, keep your mind completely unfocused on what you do, and NEVER count! For example, if you count while doing squatting, then every squat would be a part of the-end-of-the-torment count down. If you can, distract your mind from the physical work while exercising. Read the poems or play the song lyrics in your mind. Just find a way to make it fun.

And also don't forget to discuss your weight losing plans with your family doctor, or if you don't have one, with your parents, to make sure that you're doing it safely.

I hope it helped you a little.

Lyss

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How does a person become a film actor? Basic and rather stupid question I know, and I'm guessing it's a lot to do with luck, but really - how do succesful film actors typically get there? I'm talking about in England and America principally. Does anyone know or have any experience of this? Is it just a case of somehow getting a good agent and hoping you have a 'look' someone spots for a role? If so, how do you get an agent? Assuming you have no contacts in the industry.

I think if you want to become an actor, you have to make a decision to do everything you can to be the way you choose to be. It happened many times that people who weren't ever rich, famous, or even lucky, made it to the Hollywood and became stars in no time. I think it has a lot to do with your personal power, will, and stubbornness. If you made a decision to be someone you truly dream to be, no one will be able to stop you, because you're the one who makes your destiny.

Be brave! Good luck.

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Alright. the question is. what do guys like when they are like...grinding with a girl...like at dances. guys...do you like when a girl faces you, or has her back to you?

what are some tips?

I think it depends on a guy and your feelings for each other. Plus, the mood and the music are important too. Maybe the song is slow and he would like to see your face, or maybe the music is very rhythmic and emotional, which makes both of you want to move, not caring who's where. It is important to feel each others' moods, and don't forget about your own desires. You might want to visit some dance classes, or download the video lessons via internet. Just pick something you will be excited about.

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Hey all I am a 15/f.
Ever since I started watching the T.V show Grey's Anatomy I have been kind of attacted to Kate Walsh (Addison). It's not in a (very)sexual way though, I guess I kind of admire her. But, it is more then that though because I don't want to be her, howeve,r I would like to meet her. I guess I look at her as kind of a mother- figure, because I am not all that close with my mom.
Kate Walsh is not the frist woman that I have felt this way about. I has been the same way with people that I know in person as well, like my middle-school counsoler (as well as a few other people).
So I guess I am not really sure what I am asking for, I guess I want to know if this is this werid? Would You call it a girl crush? Just Kind of helping me clarify my feelings would be great.
Thanks!

You have all the answers you need, and I don't think you have to ask anyone to give you the guidance in this matter. Ask yourself what is it that you feel about the woman (or women) you're attracted to, without any kind of prejudice, fears, or expectations. Just listen to your feelings, respecting and accepting them as a part of you and your life's journey. We feel to learn. People can't learn from the outside truths or other people's thoughts. Your being teaches itself by going through different kinds of feelings and emotions. If it is a sexual attraction that you feel, than in the future you might want to explore the feminine side of your nature that's interested in other women. But if it is the mother figure you're fascinated about and want to have in your life, then again, it is a good reason to explore, understand, and maybe even heal the relationship between you and your mother. So what you feel isn't bad at all. It's a perfect motivation to look within yourself and investigate yet unknown parts of your being.

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my bf is going off to college. he's a senior and im a few years younger. i thought i would be happy about it and glad that he was going and getting accepted into good schools but im not. i feel bad about it but im just not happy about it. do you think its because all of the stories about how they leave you when they go to college? we have been dating for around 5 years. any ideas or tips?

I understand that you're upset by this situation, but when it's time to leave school, many people realize that a lot from the past is going to be left behind. Your fear is probably that he will leave you behind too, and you don't know how you're going to feel without him after all these years together. School love life usually stays in its walls, but it depends on the love, not the school.

No one promises you that you will be together forever, and no one knows if he will want things to stay as they are, but it is not the circumstances that make your relationship flower of fade; it is you. You might have been together before because you liked each other, and you may break up because you grew tired of each other. And finally, you may get back together in a few years, because due to your new life experiences, you suddenly changed into the people perfect for each other.

No one knows how things will turn out in the end, but when you both are growing older, it is time for you to learn to recognize the love when it is in front of you. Maybe I went a little off-topic here, but if you're so worried about him being away, you might want to ask yourself, if it's because you don't want someone very dear for you to be away, of simply because you don't trust him enough to let him live the life *he* wants to live.

Just know that if you really love him, and it is not the kind of love that ends after the school is over, you will have to learn to trust him and respect his freedom, because when you will go to college, you may want to have your freedom respected too.


Lyssa.

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