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One big mistake...
19/F
I had a (male) friend over today, and we were watching movies and drinking together. Just innocent fun.
I ended up getting more tipsy than I usually do, and we ended up starting to have sex. I sobered up pretty quickly and made him stop before we actually did, and sent him home.
Here's the thing: I have a boyfriend who I love dearly. We're talking about moving in together when our leases expire, and we've discussed marriage.
He's the one I really want, and I feel sick having cheated on him. I know I could never do it ever again. I hate what I did.
So my question is, what do I do? Do I tell him? Will that hurt him more than if he doesn't know? Should it be on a "don't ask, don't tell" basis?
Keep in mind that my boyfriend is the man I want to be with for the rest of my life, and that this friend was equally as intoxicated as myself.
Thank you! I'm tearing myself to pieces because of this.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
To tell him the truth or not may be a hard, yet inevitable choice to make. This is your life, and it is up to you what kind of relationship you're going to have with your boyfriend. Telling him the truth may lead to losing him, or at least to lots of angst and tears. But having such a secret to keep, may also be pretty tough for you. Besides, if you'll decide to keep it a secret, you will have to make sure that your boyfriend won't find it out from someone else. If the friend you almost slept with told someone about your making out, and that someone did the same, and then it repeated, you, my darling, may find yourself in a very unpleasant Ross & Rachel kind of situation. So, decide a direction in which you will go with this, and try to do everything you can to keep your happiness, and work on your relationship, independently from the choice you've made. Remember, true love and happiness are not the common things, so probably it's something both, you and your boyfriend don't want to lose.
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You shouldn't tell him. While it might seem romantic to tell him and "never have any secrets", you risk breaking up. Nothing bad can happen unless he finds out, and bad things can *definitely* happen if you tell him.
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I know what your talking about although im a lot younger but the same thing happened to my brothers girlfriend you see they also were talking about marriage and stuff when there was this big party. well my brothers girlfriend got drunk and did have sex she didnt no what to do so she asked my mom (they are close)my mom told her to tell chance because two people in love shouldn't keep secrets so she did and it turns out that my brother and his girlfriend are to be married soon.
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Tell him. If you really do want to spend the rest of your life with him, then why would you keep anything from him?
Tell him the whole story and be completely honest. Wouldn't you want him to confront you if he was in that same situation? Don't be afraid to tell him and don't expect the worst either. Tell him you are sorry and that you won't let it happen again. I'm sure he'll understand. Hope that helped and good luck.
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Aww,
Well, the thing is, you were intoxicated. You had no idea what you were doing.
You should DEFINITELY tell him. Honesty is the best policy..it really is.
If you tell him, he'll probably come to trust you more, than if you didn't tell him (he might find out later on.) He'll be hurt at first, but will realize that you didn't mean to do it.
Make sure that that you tell him that you were drunk.
Don't have any guy friends over...it'll probably be the best thing to do.
Hope all goes well!
-Jam
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i hate to say this sweetie... but you have to tell him no matter how much it hurts an tell him everything you just old everyone online about how you want ot spend the rest of ur life with him an stuff an even bring tears when your telling him becuz it will show that you are deeply sorry
i feel so sad for you
i hope you guys dont break up
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