Gabiie's advice column

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Q: It doesnt happen too often but sometimes when my eyes are closed and I'm not sleeping I see weird things. A few minutes ago I closed my eyes and I was laying in the same position was in but someones head was resting on my shoulder and when I looked at them, there eyes opened. I opened my eyes and my shoulder felt as if someone had just got off of it. It's so creepy, any advice? I'm very healthy and no mental stuff wrong with me...But my mom does call me special lol.

This happened to my aunty, be careful who you tell, some people will judge you and think your weird, but dont listen to them.
if it happens more than 2-3 times a week or seems to be occuring more frequently i suggest going to see a spiritual healer, yes ok that sounds weird i know! but seriously go to somewhere they do phyic readings (not the fake stuff) and ask if they have a good contact or their opinion. failing that look online for a spirital healer, and give them a call. If your not certain about this, talk to your mum and see if you can see a counciler, it may be a subconcieus thing..

Q: me and my bf of a year and a half broke up. i know it was the right decision because were at two very different places in our lives, but its still hard for me. hes in college having all the fun in the world, and it seems hes having too much fun to even care that were over, whereas im home thinking about it. even when i go out im thinking about it and it bothers me. I dont have any really close friends so im not looking to be told to "spend time with my friends". what else can i do to get over him? what can i tell myself? how can i occupy myself? its just so annoying thinking about it all the time. im in high school. need some empowerment here.. thx

there is no right answer as there is no quick fix. BUT try focusing on YOU. Go for runs, play a sport. Dress up, put on really nice clothing just for you, do your hair and makeup the lot. You dont have to hang with your friends to get over someone, but sometimes they do help.

personally, a similar situation happened to me, and i went on a adventure around town, made new friends, and enjoyed life. I was having such a good time, befor i knew it my current bf had asked me out. He saw me being me, and saw how i was enjoying life, not worrying. so bascially, go out be yourself, no one is demanding you forget or leave the feeling you have for your ex, and enjoy life, spoil yourself , and have some ice cream :)

Q: how to turn on a girl

depends how turned on your talking about, eating certain shaped fruits, dressing up, simple kisses on the neck. Basically tempting him, without giving anything, dragging it out aslong as possible. Also cutting him off short and making him wait, works everytime.

Q: talent show examples

-a parody of your favourite song
-stand up comedy
- drama games (involve the audience)
- dance routine (by yourself with friends)

what are you good at so i can give you ideas around that

Q: my earrings wont come out

ask your friends to help.
twist it or place your nail between your ear and the backing and slowly try pushing it off... it will hurt but just do it slowly and gently.
next time dont slide the backing on so tight so you wont have the trouble again. if there cheap earings this could also be bad for your ears.

Q: Who do you think I should pick???? I am stuck and I think I have fallen for three guys. I need help on whom to chose. I have chemistry with em all and we get along well.

Guy 1- He is drop dead gorgeous, he can sing, write poetry, hes athletic, and hes a christian

Guy 2- Hes cute, funny, sensitive, loving, and smart

Guy 3- Hes intelligent, not so good looking, sweet, caring, funny, and can play instruments.

they all sound great, but no one can answer that question. we dont know them or you.
here are some questions for YOU:
- which one are you most comfortable around?
-who do you have the most in common with?
- who gets on with your friends better?
- who do you see yourself in a long relationship with?
-who do you think at night before you fall asleep?
if you can answer these questions, then there is your guy.

Q: I am 15, a girl, and I recently was diagnosed with cancer. I start chemo tomorow. I am going to loose all my hair and throw up a lot. I am very scared because I always thought I was healthy. My friends and family come to see me a lot but after a while I think they will forget about me and not come as often and not talk to me anymore. I was told I probably wont live much longer and Im soooo scared! Please help.

sweetie it is going to be hard, cancer is never pleasant nor cemo. But your friends and family will NEVER forget you or ever abandon you. i would be shocked if they ever let you out of there sight :)

i can understand you scared but your not alone. Face it head on and never stop fighting.Dont listen to what the doctors say about not having long to live.
They told my father he would never work/walk again, and guess what hes walking and building houses at the moment. Anything is possible!

remember to smile, and make the most of every minute . Dont let this defeat you.

if you want to talk or have ANY questions send me a message in my inbox :)

-gabiie

Q: I've been to many Talent Shows but I get very nervous. I always think of so many people expecting me to do good. If only I could prove I'm good but I don't know what to do. Can you help me? What should I do for the Talent Show? (the meeting is tomorrow)

Dont worry about meeting peoples standards, if things go wrong just laugh at your self, get up and try again.

focus on what your good at: dancing, magic, gymnastics, an instrument...
and if your REALLY stuck on ideas why not do a group act? and that also helps if you really have a case of bad nerves.

:)gabiie

Q: i have tond of friends but most of them a just like having a good time with! i dont have a good friend to call when i am upset or talk to about my problems with my family. i need someone older then me and ive prayed about it but nothing is working. i use to go to abuse therapy. i loved talking with my councelor there but one day i didnt go back and i miss it sooo much! what should i do?

your not alone.
if you miss your counselor why not go back?
I suggest maybe a youth group or even join a sport team.. you'll meet many people, young and older than you! at first you may not want to give them your whole life story but just pick someone you get on with and has things in common with, and just grow on the friendship :)

Q: Hey
I'm 5'11, female. I'm 21 years old. I really need some dress pants, black especially, but I never can find any that are long enough. I need about 31 inch waist and about 36 inch inseam..i dont want them to be super expensive either..where can i find some?

trade secret, its great it has everything, and its not just cheap material either! and very good priced..

Q: Okay I have friends, but no one close. I don't have any girlfriends that I can call whenever I need to talk and advice. I have family , but we all know that's... different. I just need someone... how do I go about making a new friend.... help!

im not sure how old you are, but can i suggest getting a part time job or joining a sport team, even scouts or something! You may not be the sporty type so try art classes or something.. you meet a load of different people that you have something in common with.

if your like me and have a habit of putting up boundaries, well your going to need to stop it now! invite a friend over for a sleep over or go out for the day, open up to them a bit , tell them something about you, and go from there.

Making friends is easy, just smile and laugh, go with it, dont be the party pooper that isnt up for a good time

-Gabiie

Q: ok well you guy are gonna think im like the craziiest person in the world :s but i NEED advce kaay well about a year ago my friend introduced me to justin bieber (not in person like she showed me his songs) and i really liked his music but lately ive been obssesing over his songs i listen to him ALL day and ALL night im always daydreaming of how it would be if i were to ever meet him and if he liked me and we started going out ive never really liked a famouse person this much and its kinda silly cause its gotten to the point were after my day dreams i start cring cause i know that ill NEVER be able to get even close to him or meet him in person and even if i did have my dream of comeing face to face with him and telling him how i feel i know that im just waaaaaaay to ugly for him to even be the least bit intrested :(( ( heres a pic of me -----> http://i784.photobucket.com/albums/yy121/EmilyAn007/188705_108547272561521_100002187478226_80259_1924690_n.jpg)

soo plzzz just give me any coment of what i should do to just get it over wiith!

firstly you a far from ugly! so get that out of your head NOW!
and dont worry your not alone, so many girls are drooling over that little guy.
this will be hard for you but take down those posters you have around your room, erase the songs of your ipod, besides your favorite three (im feeling generous :P) remove any sticker or anything else that has his name or something on it and put it in a box. try a week without these things! just a week.
Go outside kick a ball, listen to idk trey songz or what ever else your into, even the radio! look up another celeb hottie... ryan sheckler is of limits by the way :P Jokes

its ok to like the guys music but being obsessed is another issue. try without those items and if its to much just remove one item per day.

hope this helps
-gabiiex

Q: HEy ok so my boyfriend and i broke up like 2 months ago now in school we sit RIGHT next to eachother and like he will always turn and look at me and i will say what and he will smile and look away what is he trying to say?!?! oh and then other times hes all flirty with other girls:( haha ok plzz help!

First
"oh and then other times hes all flirty with other girls:("
looking at the ":(" on the end , you still have feelings for this guy. if you to broke up, he does have the right to flirt, even though it may hurt you.

him smiling at you is a sign that he's happy to be friends or maybe he still has feelings for you. Instead of saying "what?" have a conversation with him, just cause your not together doesn't mean you can't be friends! and in most cases this will make you to a lot closer.

-Gabiie

Q:

Question Posted Sunday April 3 2011, 8:37 pm

Ok.13/f
I have a bf and i loved him so much.I still love him but i dont know if he still likes me.
I get signs sometimes that he doesnt like me.

Most Times:
He always hold my hand.
Want to go out with me.
Wants to kiss mi.
Wants to share food with me.
Invites mi to come by his house with him and his parents.
Always watching me(Sometimes i might be on my black berry and he just stares at me and when I look up he looks away).

Sometimes:
He teases me (Like if i wear something he doesnt like ,Its ugly)
Talks about hot girls around me,BUT Only when his friends are there(i talk about hot guys BUT not like he does) i say a simple(I saw this cute guy today,BAM i done)

you have NOTHING to worry about, sound to me he is just a typical guy, and very lucky to have you :)
if something he does really bothers you, simply confront him about it. otherwise he doesn't know what he is doing wrong..
-gabiie

Q: Okay , so i told you about kyle twice in asking you a couple of questions . So i've come to realize its never going to work , EVER ! im giving up on love , i feel like ' Fuck Love , Im Done Trying ' i don't know what i else i could do to get his attention anymore at all or just with any boy i don't know . . . its like if im not ugly than why won't anything good happen for me my personality is great so why !! i just quit on life i've been feeling that way for a while . . . and you guys are probably judging me not that i care with you perfect little lives . i Give UPP . please don't say talk go talk to a friend no will understand .

im not sure what the question is but i think your right!
at the moment it seems that theres no point in trying because it's never going to work right?
and thats probably true!

but thats not the case with every guy out there.
so your heart is broken, and yeah its going to take time to even consider the thought of letting another guy into your life. But you can't let that little fact control you! Go for a run or try boxing, get rid of your anger. go out have fun with your friends.. yes this may be hard at first because its the last thing you want to do.. but what is sitting around and mopping going to do?

Don't focus on guy, be happy with who YOU are and the right guy WILL come..

This is one guy! your feelings may be strong for him, but how long do you think they will last? Be open to the idea of moving on, have fun and show him that its his lost, and that you are beautiful & strong.

-Gabiie

Q: ok i have tried everything.. i cannot get tampons to fit comfortably. ive tried angling it differently but it still is super uncomfortable, painful sometimes.
what am i doing wrong? i read the instructions and used google but nothing is helping me. please help. pads gross me out.

ok, dont worry i admit it does take practice!
make sure you use your finger to direct in all the way in until you cant feel it anymore.(< This makes a massive difference)
plus make sure you remove it the same way u inserted it.if it hurts simply remove it and try again with a different tampon.

i remember the first couple of times i did it, removing it was painful.This is because they hadn't completely absorbed yet, tug on the string if its still firmly in place leave it otherwise it should be easy to remove without any pain .

- Gabiie

Q: 14/female
I am emo, and recently, a weird kid at my school asked me to give him a blowjob. He said that if i didnt go out with him that he would kill himself. He said that if I don't give him a blowjob, he will tell the whole school sexual lies about me.

Before I knew he existed, I was at my friends house when he showed up. My friend left the room for like an hour. He touched me, and I kept saying stop, and he knows that it was wrong

He even made a fake Facebook account as a fake person so that he could talk to me. I did not/don't want anything to do with him. On facebook on his fake profile he apologized. I believed him.

I dont know what to do. I just want to kill myself so that it all stops. I'm truly petrified. I want to end it all. Nobody knows that I an emo besides my closest most bestest friend (: I call her my lil' sis :)

I don't know what I should do. If I kill myself, I will leave my friend, and I told her that I would always be there for her. Idk if my life is even important anymore... (sorry this is so long.. I just needed somewhere to turn to)....

you have probably hear this time and time again but killing your self is not the answer.

what about your "lil sis" or your family.
just tell this kid you dont give 2 f****s, that your not interested and just to leave you alone.
if your really freaking out, tell him u have saved the online conversation and if he doesn't stop you WILL report him. you may be bluffing but you can be certain he will back away if not stop.

ignore this guy as much as possible! focus on you and your friends. if rumor gets out laugh it off say hes just desperate and wants attention and that the rumors are false. be confident, dont give in to him. your worth alot more than that, even if you dont see that just yet.

give it time and things will carm down.

i hope in a weird way this kind of helps :)

Q: So me and this guy went to a school dance together last Saturday (April 2). (we’ve both been really flirty and talking a lot the past couple weeks and I’m pretty sure he likes me too) Anyway, we both had an amazing time. We went out to dinner before and had a lot of fun, then we went to the dance and danced the entire time, he kissed me a couple times, and it was just awesome. The only problem is, we never see each other at school. We see each other sometimes, but it’s mainly just texting. I’d like to hang out with him more, since we had such a great time together at the dance. Should I suggest hanging out, or wait for him? I don’t want to lose another guy just because I was too shy/insecure to ask him if he wants to hang out. (I always wait for him to text me first, I don’t know why, I just never want to bug him..) Anyway, I just don’t know where I stand. I remember a couple weeks ago (before the dance) he had said “I could really see us being together sometime soon.” And I’d still like to believe that, but I’m nervous. I over-analyze everything, so that’s probably my problem, haha. But I don’t know, does anyone have any advice about this? Thanks!
If you want anymore details or have questions, just let me know and I’ll try to explain better.

Oh, and we've talked about hanging out a lot before and stuff, just not since the dance (even though it was only a few days ago haha), so I'd assume he still wants to, but idk.

hes totally interested!
dont hold back, whats there to lose. Ask if he wants to hangout sometime, if he says yes let him be the one to organise it, that way you dont sound desperate or clingy..
if he said that only a few days ago i doubt his mind has changed! be confident, be you and have fun.

Q: What do i get my boyfriend for a 9 month aniversory?

i wouldn't buy him anything!
take him out. Go somewhere symbolic, like were u had your first date. or somewhere childish but still fun for both of you.. lazer tag, scuba diving (depending on how old you are).
a memory is always more fun!

Q: How do you makeout with a boy? Im 13 and i want to make out with this boy but I just dont know how! Any advice?

it will happen naturally. dont over think what your doing, i did that and its just ruins it!
close your eyes and just go with it ;)

some pointers:
- dont wear lipstick or lip gloss!
- brush your teeth and stay away from garlic, onion or just general smelly food.
-lick the top of your lips b4 the kiss (not to much), to help movement
-remember to breath, the last thing you want to do is pass out :P
- and tilt your head so you dont clash noses!!!
pretend you know what your doing, be confident!

have fun :)