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March 4, 2007Answers:
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Hey, my name is Elena (pronounced EE-lay-nuh) and I run the advice column at my high-school newspaper. I've been told I give great advice that works. So go ahead and ask me ANYTHING from light-hearted questions to serious problems. If you need to know how to fix your broken iPod or fix a broken heart, I'll answer. Remember, I only know what you tell me so my advice may not work in your specific situation. Ask away! :)
advice
im 15 and my penis size is five and a half inches is this small?
Sorry, I have no clue.Try asking one of the guys here on the site. I would'nt worry about that though, most girls honestly don't care(if you ever get to that point in a relationship). Sorry for the lack of help.
I think I'm a lesbian. I've read in the Bible that homosexuality is wrong and that if you commit the sin of homosexuality, the you will be sent to hell. But then in other Bible's, they say it is natural and that God will love you no matter what.What should I belive, that homosexuality is wrong, or that it is natural?
I personally believe the Bible is for interpretation. God made you this way and it is not a sin, its who you are. Some people believe you choose to be homosexual,and since it is different they think it a sin. This is who you are it is natural-not wrong. If you are a good person that is all that matters.
Hi, I go to bed at 10, and wake up at 6:30
is it safe to leave a tampon in?
Probably not. I heard to replace every four hours. I would switch to pads because it is unhygenic and you could get TSS(Toxic Shock Syndrome) which is a disease caused by wearing tampons for long time frames that releases toxic bacterium from the tampon into your bloodstream. It's healthier to alternate between pads and tampons.
everytime i shave i get these little dots on my legs. i hatee themm!!! how do i make them go away??
Ugh I get those too! My doctor said it may be ecsama (sp?) which is a dry skin condition. So I got prescribed medication lotion. So either moisturize or see your doctor if you are concerned.
Is there such a thing as being scared that you're too skinny? I don't want to say anything, although I bring it up to my mom sometimes, but I know if I said this my friends would flip out and say "what is wrong with you, why are you rubbing it in?" etc. Also, people always comment that I look skinnier than the last time they saw me!! and yes, I know it is a good thing but I see some girls who are just anorexic-looking and very unattractive in my eyes and I am afraid that I look like them.
I dance once a week for 4 hours, and I have swim practice every other day and meets on Fridays. I am very busy, although I don't play many sports, but I feel like I'm in OK shape. But I often just don't feel hungry and I eat when I am hungry(but eat a lot of junk food...i'm trying to eat less).
I feel pretty, but my skin is very pale, I have dark circles and I sometimes feel too skinny, although half the time i am perfectly satisfied. I never feel fat or anything.
Thanks soo much for the help, I guess what I'm asking is, do other people worry about this?
is it normal?
and what can I do to be healthier-looking?
(i always tend to look tired).
Thanks again and I know this was long!
-AW'
p.s. i have a very high self-confidence level and I tend to be a leader in my school/community, but I've been wondering about htis for awhile. thnks:)
Sure, others worry about this. If you aren't on an unusual feeding schedule or trying to starve yourself, I think you're fine. To bulk up, build muscle by lifting weights. As for the dark circles-sleep more and use concealor. Eat healthy foods(not junk-it makes you fat not muscular). See your doctor about what you can do. You actually are VERY active-dancing for 4 hours is amazing. You do a lot of sports activity, not much variety but you do the sports a lot. You are very busy so find time to relax. As long as you are healthy, you're fine-just dont stress yourself out too much or do too much!
hey i have pretty bad combination skin. ive had semi-mild acne all over my face for like 2yrs now & ive been using the same products for a few months consistently. my acnes no longer red or anything like that and ive been told that its barely noticeable but its still there and it still bothers me =/. sometimes it goes away but then more just comes back. the products i use are:
-neutrogina clean&clear acne wash
-benzaclin topical acne gel [ from my doctor ]
& i wash my face with the acne wash when i get out of the shower and it really seems to clear up my acne. but it also dries out my face so i use moisturizer stuff.
then i use the benzaclin before i go to bed like my doctor says..
well my face is also so shiney in my forehead &stuff..how do i stop my acne & am i doing anything wrong by using all these products? and how do i get my face to be less shiney?
thanks sorry so long.=/
You aren't using that many products, but if its working but causing dryness I would still use it. But keep up the moisturizing. Use blotting sheets to get rid of the oil. I use Clean&Clear oil absorbing sheets. Wash your face, drink lots of water and DON'T stress(it makes you break out). It takes time, so keep up the stuff you are using if it works.
well i dont know if you read my last question, but it was about my dad and i thought he was cheating on my mom. he says he wasnt cheating but addmits he has been talking/texting/hanging out with someone else. what the f%#$?!?! is that not cheating? anyways, thats not the problem. well, my parents talked and YES they are getting a divorce for, like, the 3rd time. w/e. the trouble is, when i didnt know my dad was cheating, i really didnt like my mmom much. she gets on my last freaking nerve and streses me out, but im not going to get into that. i had just told my dad that if they DID get divorced, i wanted to live with HIM.
now i dont know. because i mean when i talked to my mom about the whole cheating thing, she seemed like she couldnt live without having custody of me. but they my dad talked to me for the first time since my parents decided they were getting divorced, and he said, "well yeah we're getting divorced.."yatta yatta yatta..."but i need to know who you are going to live with because if you are going to live with me,which you said a while back you would, im not going to buy a house out of this school district. but if you ARENt going to live with me, then i can." and i said i didnt know. because he asked me right on the spot. then he started tearing up and walked out. and i guess i kinda want to live with him but I CANT SEE HOW HE COULD EVER DO ANYTING LIKE THAT TO MY MOM. and i dont know how i can leave my mom now that she told me she could live with out having custody of me and my little sister. but i know she will make me CRAZY and STRESSED OUT if i go live with her. and also my dad has never had custody of me. i used to just see him wednesday and thursdays. but if i live with my dad, ill hardly ever see him because he workd like 24/7. and if he does end up going out with someone else, i could live with HER. id end up like killing her self conciously. oh my lord. please help me. this is this WORST position to be in.
thank you so much.
xoxox (:
ps. sorry its so long. ):
I'm really sorry you have to go through this. If you can ask your parents about them having joint custody(live with both parents different days) over you, I would recommend that. If they won't consider it or if they are planning on one of them moving out of town, try this. Ask yourself(and answer truthfully) these questions.
1) Who is more interested in your well-being?
2) Who can provide you with a good happy home?
3) Who is going to make sure you have the best life?
4) Who won't allow you to do stupid things and give into your demands(the stricter, but better parent)
Your mom needs you, and you obviously lost respect and trust for your dad. Your dad seems like he would let you do anything, while your mom would keep you in line. Your mom and you could use this experience to work on your realtionship...or not. I dont know the whole situation. DON'T go with the "fun" parent, you'll be longing for the responsible one. So choose the parent who matches the questions and who is responsible. Ask if you have a question.
Good Luck
well im 14 and i had two best friends, i was losing weight and my life seemed perfect. i was in and out of the hospital for 3 weeks and i finally got emergency surgery because i had a blood clot. now, im gaining weight. i feel huge. im 5'4" and i weigh 125. well, my best friends just stopped talking to me and now every friday and saturday night i just sit at home. i really dont like my life and a couple times ive been suicidal. no boys at my school like me and i feel so ugly. i try to smile and enjoy life, but i just cant. what should i do?
First off, your BMI is a very healthy 21.5 or 74% with 95% being overweight. The reason for the change in weight probably has something to do with your health scare or your losing your friends. I don't know why your BFFs stopped talking with you, but think about the factors that may have caused it. Did you start being interested in different things? Did they become obsessed with popularity? Whatever it is, you deserve to know. Contact them in person or on the phone, whichever you want, and say you miss their company and want to know what you can do to keep the friendship going, or if they still want to be your friend. If that doesn't work, let them come to you, they probably will eventually. In effort to have fun on the weekends, and make new friends (I think you need some new, supportive friends) go to school dances, afterschool clubs/teams, the towns skating rink or wherever other kids your age are. Keep trying to maintain a positive outlook on life and be proactive to making it better(get out of the house and make friends). If you are friendly and confident, guys will also start to notice you. Starting over is tough, but I think you should. Seek out help from a professional therapist, your mom/dad and try to work through this slump in your life. Be proactive though and fill your life with things,people and thoughts to make this work.
Sorry its long, so in summary
1)Try and mend the friendship, but look 4 new friends as well
2)Be confident, and guys will notice
3)seek help from a therapist and ask about anti-depressants. Dont be suicidal, because your life has so much potential to make you happy
4)Go places and join teams with other kids
Good Luck and make it work, I know you can.
okay.
I think i am fat.
Im 15. 119 pounds and i am 5'2.
i have stretch marks on my boobs.
and on my thighs.
when i wear jeans a bit bellow my hips a little fat rolls over. people say its just that my hips but i think its fat...
and my stomach is like pretty flabby.
im not like obese. but i would like to look nice for swim suit season. I need help getting thinner.
i have one problem.
its really hard for me to get physically active. theres alot of foods i cannot eat.
i recently got diagnosed with a brain disorder(nothing too serious) but im on medecine that makes eating certain healthy foods hard.
also exercising.
i am not allowed to run.
how can i get in shape with all of these things holding me back?
First off, your BMI is in the healthy 70% with 95% being overweight. To lose that belly bulge and firm up without running, do crunches,lunges,squats or do aeorbic or cardiac workouts. You dont have to run, just move around. I know getting started is tough, but stick with it.
Good Luck
You know on every food there's this nutrition info on the back or side like fat, sugar calories, etc?
Can someone tell me what each thing in that list is, what it does to your body, and if I'm supposed to have a a large amount with that or small number of it? (Get a box of something so you'll know every word that it'll list)
thank you so much for the trouble!
Okie Dokie, Here's a list:
1)Calories-How much energy a food gives your body (Not a lot of them)
2)Calories from fat- How much fat comes from the calories (No more than 30% a day)
3)Total Fat- How much fat (3grams for every 100 calories from fat)
4)Saturated Fat-clogs arteries(little to none)
5)Trans Fat-clogs arteries (keep low as possible)
6)Cholesterol-increases risk for heart disease(a little is okay, a lot is BAD)
7)Sodium-small amounts keep proper body fluid balance, a lot gives you high blood pressure and creates water retention (once again, a lot is bad, but a little is good)
8)Carbs-Get it froms fruits/veggies/whole-grain bread, NOT fatty crackers(Most of food intake should come from this, make sure its healthy though)
9)Sugars-Dont offer nutrients(Stay away from large amounts)
10)Fiber-keeps digestive system healthy,reduces cholesterol,keeps you full with no calories (Good!have at least 3grams per serving)
11)Protein-provides muscle and gives energy(Have a Lot)
In summary, Fats,Sodium and sugars-BAD
Healthy carbs,fiber and protein-GOOD
Go to Kidshealth.org for more.
I have had these feelings latley for my friends. The problem is all my friends are girls. I am also a girl. So um I think I am a lesbian or bisexual. I tried to kiss my rfriend and she let me. I started making out with her we never talked about it again or did anything again but i want to. How do I stop liking girls
You don't stop. You may be just trying to figure out your emotions and who you are. If you come to the conclusion that you are gay, there is nothing wrong with that, but you must step up and become mature enough to accept and embrace who you are. It is totally fine if this is who you are, and you cannot change it. So embrace it. Like I said though, you may just be young and confused.Don't keep your emotions about this inside, because you'll become depressed or self-destructive.Good Luck
Well , I know loosing your virginity is a big thing in all but why?
I mean yeah i know that its the risk of getting pregnant and getting disceases but other than that why is sex such a big deal?
Why do people think other people are slutty if they give a blowjob or get fingered?
It feels good, its not like your hurting anyone by doing it.
I just dont see whats so bad about it sometimes.
Please inform me, because ive done all that stuff and I dont feel bad or regret it at all, i thought it was very enjoyable.
I personally haven't done any of that, but I wonder too why it is such a big deal. Then I remember its because people do it for all the wrong reasons. Its supposed to be a strong emotional connection, and most teens are called sluts if they have sex because all they have are physical attractions and cannot really appreciate all that it is. Its not supposed to be "fun", its supposed to be a larger than life feeling of connecting in the most powerful way with your soulmate. It's not really about the unfortunate consequences, its about not realizing the seriousness of the action and how teens do it for all the wrong reasons.
I'm thinking about getting bangs. I'm just scared I won't like them. Has that happened to any of you? I wan't to do something diffrent to my hair. Any ideas?
Instead of getting full-on, blunt bangs get side bangs and then decide if you want shorter side bangs or more intense all around bangs. I got layers and then gradually got side bangs that were shorter and shorter. This way, if you don't like it, the change isnt that drastic
Well, me and my boyfriend have been together for about 4 months, he is 21 and i am 19. i had just asked him if he would give me his myspace password and he said that he wouldn't. He said that he had nothing to hide but that he felt that we should have our own space and if i did look through his myspace i would take things that his women friends write and take them the wrong way, (which i do alot.) He does have alot of women friends and i do get a bit jealous. So i guess i was just wondering if his answer was valid or is he trying to hide something?
Well, I think he's hiding something. A good healthy realationship is when you can trust the other person and have no secrets. I'm not saying he should allow you access to his private email and myspace comments, but the fact that his "women friends" wrote something that COULD be interepereted the wrong way isn't good. I am not a big fan of the Myspace world, but I know people hide stuff on it. I'm not quite sure how to handle it, but you obviously don't find him trustworthy and you shouldn't have to be jealous, the guy should make you feel so loved and important that you arent. Whether or not he is hiding something, you don't trust him so it isnt a good relationship. Just my opinion though
so i;m with this guy who i think is soo fine and everytime i see him in school i just wanna jump him! i want t omake things more fun for us, cool kissing techniques, or little sexy things i can do. i want him to know how much i like him but i want to be able to turn him on too, any suggestions?
Trust me, a good guy doesn't find it attractive when a girl wants to "jump him". The best way is to mix things up as you said, but don't act slutty. Guys like the smart and sexy thing (i.e. doing a crossword puzzle while in flirty pajamas or working out while watching the news). That's how you turn a guy on. Put it to words too, by simply saying I love you, or if thats not really how you feel, say that you love being with him. If its only a physical attraction though, don't do anything to extreme. Just a warning
Hope that helped
Well, i'm about 5'6 105. I know that i'm i guess.. "considered" thin, but i don't really believe it myself sometimes. I often feel fat and i always want to lose weight. I come up with different diets, like eating just salad (lettuce with fat free dressing.) I do like food sometimes, so i'll want to eat something and feel kinda bad about it. This has been happening since 5th grade and i'm now a junior in high school. When i was 10 or 11 i would eat hardly anything and i lost weight. I've been that way off and on since 5th grade. I feel like i'm never thin enough.
You can be thin without being anorexic, because anorexia is an EMOTIONAL disorder. Since you do feel this way and are insistent on losing weight to fill your insecurities, something is off. But YOU have to come to the conclusion that you are not emotionally and physically healthy and no one else can tell you that "you are anorexic". It is a mindset, and only you knows what is going on inside that head of yours. So what I'm trying to say is decide for yourself if you are anorexic. Anyone can tell you that you are skinny,but whether you are skinny because you feel insecure is your thought. If you do decide you need help, see a doctor or nutrionist as well as a counselor since anorexia is emotional.
Good luck, and try and be healthier-spiritually and physically
How do I stop liking someone..I've liked a girl off and on for over a year now, and now I can't get her out of my head..I've asked her out once already, but she rejected me..That just made me like her more..! and I don't under stand how to get her out of my head...
First off, why did rejection make you like her more?? Anyways, if you can't get her out of your head, maybe she's supposed to be there. Thats my motto. If you are a great guy, then trust me she'll come around. In the meantime enjoy having a crush! Sooner or later you'll have another, or maybe this girl will change her mind about you.
do any of you make icons? if so... do you mind making me an icon or maybe more then 1 icon for the movie... The Virgin Suicides. if you make icons, and could make me like some, it would be greatly aprechaited. preferably avatar size. please and thank you
Try searching Google or Iconator.com has some great ones. I personally don't make that great of icons, but Iconator.com has a great selection.
i've been having a lot of family problems lately. my dad is pushing me to get a second job and i don't want to, he's taken my phone and my drivers license away already. i have never cried myself to sleep for a long time but over the course of february i've been crying almost every night now. and the other day i was so angry and upset that i burned my leg with a steaming hot rod. to let all my fustration out... does anyone know if that will leave any long lasting/ noticable marks? and was i wrong to do it and i was just over reacting? i don't know what to do i'm just not good enough for anyone anymore. and everything that i do wrong now i get yelled at and blamed for everything even if it's not my fault. and i feel that i can't talk to my friends about it becase it might seem really stupid. but i'm scared and i need help.
This isn't stupid at all,but it is scary. You need to talk to your dad and tell him it is all a little overwhelming at the moment. I personally think if you are under 18 or in school and living at home you shouldn't have more than one job. If you aren't in school and are living at home, I recommend getting your own place. Either way, reach out to your dad and tell him how you feel and how his words and actions are affecting you. TELL HIM YOU WANT HIS HELP. He needs to know you want to make things better. Maybe along with talking to your dad, you could see a therapist to deal with your depression and self-harming. It wasn't "wrong" to burn yourself since you were deeply sad. It wasn't over reacting, but it was an unhealthy reaction. This will leave a mark, but for how long I don't know. So you need to speak with your dad, a therapist and a doctor about the burn (it may be infected). This is a rough time for you so let your dad know you want to make it better but need his understanding and help.
Much Luck.
14/f.
i had braces before at the end of 4th to end of 5th. Since I had them that early, when the rest of my teeth grew in my bite was screwed up. So I just got them aug. 06. The thing is basicly everyone is getting theirs off and its bugging me. I look at pics. from past yrs and I like what I see, a mouth with no metal! Im going to have them on until the beginning of junior yr!
also, i have been always been really skinny and i eat whatever, well lately i notice that my stomach isnt as flat, my mom says its still flat, but i dont think so. So im eating healthier and cutting back and excersising, which is good in some ways.
Also, i feel sad/lonely all the time. I really truely dont have friends, well ones I hang out with besides like the hallway, even them Im somewhat of a loner. And some of the ones I call friends treat me like dirt, but it hard making new friends cuz theres always a few people in the group that really dont like you.
Sometimes my mom asks me if its ok and I tell her yes, because-i dont know-i just cant tell her the truth. It hurts too much.
So basicly-how do I become comfortable with myself?
Trust me, I know what you're going through. Dealing with physical apperance issues hurts, but you sound like you are doing things to become more comfortable with yourself. As for the braces, plenty of others including adults have braces. If you are concerned about what others think of you, well they arent looking at your teeth! Tell yourself that at least you won't have them in senior year. Being a loner is upsetting, so try and put yourself out there with a NEW group, one that appreciates and respects you for who you are. If you worry too much about fitting in or your social status, rather than truly enjoying your good friends, you'll be miserable. Your mental health and well being is more sacred than trying to be accepted where you aren't. Talk to your mom, she wants you to. Therapy may boost your self-confidence and teach you new ways to make friends and become comfortable with your body. Be grateful you have a mom who cares, and ask her if you could talk to a therapist because you may have mild depression. I know this because I use to have it. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Put yourself out there and let the world see what you have to offer and friends and happiness will come. Talk to your mom and ask her about therapy. Best of luck to you.