about

About you: You have come here because you are searching for someone to help you. Everyone needs help now and again. My mission is to make a difference in the lives of others.

About me: Expert Listener, Nurturer, Chat with me and we will "make a way, find a way" to get through things together. I offer advice in Parenting, Loneliness, Nurturing, Friendship, Relationships, and some areas of medicine. If you have needs that are beyond my scope of expertise, I will redirect you to someone who can and will help you.


Education: Completion of nursing school, many specialty certificates, ranging from Emergency Medical Tech to Scrub Nurse. 25 + years of clinical experience, Mother of 5 and life coach to hundreds.

advice

ha..well i feel wired doing this but..theres this guy in my on class...hes a grade ahead of me..but i like him so so so much!!.. everytime i see him i get butter flys!..my friend told him i liked him but he didnt respond..and i just wanna stop likeing him because i know ill never get to go out with him..but everything and everyone reminds me of him!!..ahh ineed help idk wat to do??

good advice from KYgirl! Absolutely get into the outskirts of his "group". Find a chatty source to tell you more about him and others in the group. Don't give out your hand too early in this game. Slow and steady wins the race. Be fun to be around, everyone likes to hang with fun people. And never, NEVER seem desperate or dopey eyed when talking to him. Be his equal even when you don't know him well yet. You will gain his respect sooner if he knows you are on the same level. "Fake it til you make it". Let me know how it goes!

Dear Susie

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so lately i've been getting a lot of bumps on my legs- razor burn i suppose? because i just started shaving again (cause it was winter)

anything i can do to fix this?

Unique gave great advice!! One thing I would add to the list is to NOT put lotion on the fresh cut areas until at least 24 hours, then use sensitive lotion if possible, to help prevent future bumps. The bumps are often ingrown hairs, or hairs that become ingrown, because they are especially thick or curly. Any of this sound true to form for you?

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I am available from 12 pm - 3am EST.
Maybe 5-6pm?

If that doesn't work for you, any time within that frame would be fine.

yeah, that's a pretty wide range! Ok, I should be available within that time frame too. Are you around now?

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Hello :)
I believe it was suggested that we set up a time for an IM session, were you still interested in doing this?

absolutely. what is your availability? Give me a couple of specific times, Eastern Standard Time.

Thanks.

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Hi everybody, I have a problem. No matter what I try and no matter what brand of dry cat food I will buy my cat only eats wet food!

Frankly, things are pretty tight right now and I can't afford this expensive wet cat food I started feeding her. I don't want her to die, so what do I do? How do I get my cat to eat dry food?

Thank you!

The other thinkg to consider is that depending on the age and health of your cat, she may need "wet" foot to keep everything from clogging up, end to end.-

Make a quick call to your vets receptionist. They are amazingly helpful and well informed. They may suggest a little wet food on a plate next to a small bowl of a national brand, proven, like a plain purina cat chow, or purina kitten food, which is said to be more attractive to cats because of its strong aroma and rich taste. Much higher in calories, though, don't go overboard with the kitten food.

Good luck. Cats are like kids. If you wait long enough, and change the uneaten remains at least daily, they will eventually get the message that its your way or the highway.

Good luck. Let me know what happens.

Dear Susie

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Okay, so I live in a house where not only one but both of my parents smoke, the smell just nauseates me! And I hate it. What are some ways I can get my parents to either quit or go outside while smoking? Ive tried talking to them but they never seem to listen. What are some ways I can get them to understand I dont like breathing that crap, and that I dont want to die from getting cancer!

Being that this is NOT your house, You are more likely to be successful to isolate a small room in the house as a smoke free zone. Get it cleaned professionally, fixed up cheaply but nicely as a special room just for you.)

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I have a question for anyone that might know, preferably somebody who knows from experience. How much does it cost to get an ambulance to come pick you up? Will the people who run the ambulance be able to help me or do they need to take me to the hospital? I guess overall what I really need to know just in case it is how much does an ambulance ride cost? Does it vary or is there pretty much a set price? I have been having some problems but I don't know if I can afford to go. Can anybody help me?

You need to look up medical transport online in your zip code and surrouding areas. Let them know where you live and when you need to be taken. It is a common issue and easily solved by getting your answers in advance.

I do know that when you call the ambulance, they will take you directly to the ER (inside) and you get priority placement, because you came with a medical transition team of EMTs or Paramedics.

I won't kid you, ambulances can cost a pretty penny, so I am thinking a medical transport in a non-emergency situation will be able to accomodate many of your needs.

Good luck and let me know what happens.

Thanks

Susie

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Hey you guys..here's the thing,I need sum advice and I need it fast.It seems like my life as been shattered in just about every catagory..friendships,relationships,family,ect. I just don't know what to do about anything anymore.nothings going rite and I feel like it's all my fault. I try to be a picture perfect girl but it seems like I can't never be happy. My boyfriend of a year now broke my heart.. My friends live for drama and if I dont break from my parents house soom imma scream. You guys I really need sum life advice because what do you do when your clueless????

Okay, it goes without saying that if you are feeling suicidal, call 911.

If you are here to get some direction, don't feel bad about that. This is exactly what we are here for, to support and help each other.

Get out an old fashioned piece of paper. Draw a line down the center and write two columns, call them anything you like (good, bad, pros, cons, happy, sad)

Make sure that for EVERY negative your write down, you FIND a positive. I don't care how hard you have to scrape the bowl, the point of this exercise it to have a foundation to build on for making your "good" column grow and grow.

Some "gimme" positives you can use are "have food" have clothes, have transportation, have health, most of my teeth... whatever you need to put a positive spin on at least one thing for each of your negatives.

You are probably depressed. Is it something you can work your way out of alone is yet to be seen. Don't be afraid to go for help. Depression mixed with current events makes recovery a more difficult proposition all alone. Tell me how old you are, and a little about your living situation, you mentioned getting away from your parent's house. Let's chat.

Dear Susie

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Ants keep coming into my room and there doesn't seem to be anything that I can do to get them to stop!

I don't even know what they want! They just seem to come in and wander around all over the place for no apparent reason whatsoever. I would understand if I had a box of chocolates melting inside my room somewhere, but I don't. There isn't really a trail of ants, they just seem to be everywhere!

Can somebody tell me why these ants are coming into my room? I don't really like harsh poisons so if there is anything fairly tame I can use to get rid of them I would appreciate it. Thank you for any help!

Ants usually invade the home when they don't like the environment outside, or there is easier food inside for them to find, crumbs and stuff.

There are two ways to go about this. I could see that you are sensitive about the harsh chemicals, but I wasn't sure if it bother you to kill them or not. If you don't mind killing them, sprinkle some dry grits around and they will take them back to the hill and injest them, then they will get thirsty and "expand". It is a fairly easy and popular natural way to get rid of them outside at their source too. Go look for your ant hills, or you will get more visitors eventually.

The other option is to mess with their sense of smell, which is primarily how they get around and keep track of things. Cinnamon sprinkled (NOT Sugared cinnamon) is a greatly disliked smell for ants. They should turn around and look somewhere else.

Someone also mentioned sliced cucumbers at the areas that they come into the room. Haven't tried that one but it sound entertaining to watch.

I once moved into a new home and within hours there were ants falling on me from one spot in the ceiling, between two adjoined rooms. Made me crazy. I would sit with my vacuum and small children and we would hunt ants all day long. A little weird, but it kept us entertained.

Good luck, let me know what happens.

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I have a problem, well I don't really know if it's a problem or not and that is why I'm here. :-)

Over the last month or so my boobs ache all the time it seems like. Sometimes they hurt really bad, and sometimes they just hurt a little bit but I always know they are there ha ha. So what does it mean when your boobs ache all the time? Has anybody but me had this experience before?

Thank you for your time!

I need a little more information. What is your age, have you had any sudden weight gain (10 pounds or more), are you doing any new exercising, wearing any new bras, etc? Physically, clinically, tissue in the breast area and under your armpits can be tender because of hormonal reasons, just getting your period or even a new medicine or supplement affecting the production of hormones in your body. I am leaning towards there being nothing "wrong" but would like more details. Any seepage or marks/lumps/color changes?

Dear Susie

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So, I'm in the process of doing my room and as of right now everything except my comforter is a solid color. I want to get something with a bit of a design on it to add some flavor. Urban outfitters used to make these unique lampshades with like, all kinds of colors and funky designs. The don't anymore. Do you know where I can find lamps/ lamp shades like this now?

You sound creative, why not go to a craft store and buy a few supplies to decorate it yourself? A lampshade can be a wonderful and fun project, you can make it look exactly like what you want. I recommend that you stay away from hot glue though. It's messy and melts stuff. There is a new item in the sewing section at Walmart (probably elsewhere too) called Liquid Stitch. $3. in a tube, strong enough to hem jeans. Let me know what you decide...

Dear Susie

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hey i'm 19/f and my husband is being deployed to Afghanistan next month. I've started to notice that as each day progresses i get very emotional about everything. I think about him being gone and i cry and i cant stop. It's just odd because I've never been this emotional before. I mean i can figure out that its because its getting closer to him being gone. Is there anything i can do to make myself not cry all the time? Its hard to keep my mind off of it.

Thanks and i rate!

It is a very difficult situation you face. The day will come, soon enough, whether you spend your time being upset or doing something positive and proactive, the end result will be the same.

It is very hard not to have control over the most important parts of our lives. I am sure you are both scared and waiting this time out is both a blessing and purgatory.

What to do in the meantime? Make a decision to prepare your first love box to send him in Afghanistan. Work secretly, if necessary. Find ways to be excited about what you will put in it, don't let him know so he can enjoy the outcome as well. You can time your shipping of it to be as close to when he deploys as possible. (don't want it to get there too early, they may not keep it for him?!?!) I am not well educated on what types of things are allowed in packages from home, but I imagine an old fashioned envelope with some of your perfume sprayed in it, perhaps a lock of your hair tied with a ribbon and securely attached to something he can touch without it falling apart. Think like an old romantic, and I bet you can focus this nervous energy and emotion on doing something truly wonderful for you both.

Let me know how you do, if you need more ideas, I would love to brainstorm with you!!!

Dear Susie... :)

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My daughter is only, 12 days old. Premium Formula makes her eyes real goppy she can't even open them we are taking a warm wash rag over and over again wipeing her eyes several times about every 5 minutes. I switcher her to Soy milk and she got really bad diarea but her goppy eyes stopped and I was afrid she was going to get dehydrated so i m oved her back and called the doctor and still waiting to hear back from her has anyone expierenced this or no someone that has?

Were you unhappy or dissatisfied with my answer? I invite you to help me to help others. How could I have helped you better, please let me know so I can improve?

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Hi, my friend has a cyst on his wrist. He said it hurts him a lot when he does push ups in gym and all that. So, instead of getting it looked at, he pops it himself. It's on his right hand and he gives his social studies book to a friend while he grabs hold of something with his left hand and the person just slams the book on his wrist! Is that healthy?

NO, not healthy and potentially dangerous. Many different things can cause a cyst, and without knowing what is INSIDE the cyst, he is putting himself at risk, potentially spreading germs or bacteria into his body through various routes. He needs to see a doctor ASAP, not an emergency, but within a day or two. Even an urgent care would be preferable to ignoring this! He can cause some permanent damage, things that he is not even considering.

It may be harmless, but it sounds like trouble.

If you found this helpful, please rate me. Let me know how this turns out!

Thanks
Dear Susie

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Hi, 15, female. I make clothes, I have for 3 years now. I make bubble dresses and pajama pants, cute little bags and blouses. Everybody in school calls me Miss Unique because they love my clothes and I have such a sure fire passion for making and designing them. I would like to know what is the next step I can take in a career of fashion? Ask stores to sponsor me? Ask Macy's or Kohl's if I can start a line there? Please don't be mean and tell me "You're only 15, nobody will want you." because I want this and I won't stop trying until I live my dream.

Thanks!

Take your best examples and make good digital pix out of them.

Start locally, taking one or two of your favorite pieces with you, with this cute "album", and go to upscale boutiques, hair salons, wherever women are spending disposable cash.

You can list them online like on Ebay with the help of a parent. I would take your mom with you to the boutiques, chances are they will take you more seriously and be more comfortable dealing with you knowing that you have parental permission and support in y our commitments to them. They should be willing to give you a small space for consignment, where you make a list of what you are leaving to sell there, they sign and agree that they have taken responsibility for the physical inventory of it, but have not committed to purchasing it. They get a cut of the profit, so decide all that in advance before you go to the shops, you will want to sound like you have thought it all out and have a professional manner about you. Another reason to get your mom or an aunt to help out. Let me know how you make out!

Please rate me.

Thanks.!!!

Dear Susie

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Hi Guys
Me & my Boyfriend have been dating for a few weeks now & at first we used to text eachother quite a lot, not LOTS but y'know. Now when I text him he replies like 4 hours later. I Mean im not acting all crazy like what is he doing, who is he with etc, I Understand he could be doing things, but its jus that he didnt take this long to reply before so I think hes purposely replying to me late on. By This time I dont have much time to talk, Its Late etc. Do Guys just do this???

Yes, this happens in relationships. The puppy love, exhilaration and the chase have had their fun times. Now you two need to communicate well and in person, establish what type of things make you confident with your relationship, and what kind of things make you worry. You should both have a couple of things that are on your pet peeve list, so go about this with the intention of stepping outside the box to hear it and not take it personally. Then go make out somewhere and reinforce your affection for one another.

Life is all about these little commnication sessions and staying in good standing with one another. Did this help?

Please add a rating to my profile!! Thanks!

Dear Susie

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I alwaaays fear that i have a heart condition even though i am pefecttttly healthy ! i always fear that something will happen, in this case, i always feel my pulse. everytime i feel it, it's upbeat. i think it's because of my anxiety. i have BAD anxiety. are there any solutions to calm yourself down or are there any ways to get my mind off of it & to let me know that i am ok and that everything will be okay?

There are many ways to calm yourself down, when you have the time and inclination to think about it. The problem is, you don't know if it is physical or psychological.

Here are some guidelines. First of all, it never hurts to get a professional opinion. It may actually relieve some of your stress to do that.

Next, come up with a couple of quiet activities (really good down time) that you can accomplish anywhere you are when you are experiencing this type of anxiety. Have you every heard anyone joke about going to their happy place. Yeah, its not a joke. It is a real tool for controling things like anxiety, and I would be happy to talk to you further about that with a few more details. Does your anxiety prevent you from participating in normal activities? Are you very worried all the time about many things, or primarily about your health or just y our heart/pulse? Give me a few examples of when your anxiety is at its worst, so I can see which path to send you down to help you.

Eager for your response.

Dear Susie

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This will be a bit long but please bare with me

My whole life I've been quiet, shy and anti social. I have only one friend and I've known her for 14 years we share a lot in common and I can be myself around her without her judging me. I always seem to do what I have to do, I don't even acknowledge the fact that I don't talk to anyone...in fact sometimes it doesn't cross my mind. Clearly, Outside of my family, my boyfriend and my friend a social life doesn't exist for me. I will not go up to someone I used to know and start a conversation instead I prefer to just do what I need to do and continue on with my day. Sometimes I feel awkward almost like an outsider in this world and no matter what or who I seem to explain myself they don't seem to get a clear understanding on where I come from. Instead they call me a loner, Anti social but it's so much more than that. I choose to be like this, but on the other hand I have my days where I am very lonely. I am young in my 20's and I don't have friends, I spend a lot of time alone. I know it's not normal other folks my age have a social life, friends and things to look forward too.


What is wrong with me? Am I the only one like this? ..What do you call someone like that?

Follow -up answer:

Are you willing or able to work with me for a few minutes, daily or several times a week, and we can improve as a team. I have a bunch of things to work on too, perhaps together we can be more accountable to getting it done. How would you feel about that?




First answer 3/3/2010
Hi. Long questions are good because they give enough information to know what you are talking about. Don't apologize for looking for help, that is what we are here for. I know EXACTLY what you are talking about because I live through the same thing myself. We will focus on you though. I got help through medications for depression, and there are many non-drug routes you can explore first.

First of all, there is a personality that is happy alone. Happy to get to spend time alone, and not always lonely while doing it. I can see why you would appreciate the safety of home, or a specific chair, or bed. When this behavior becomes excessive, i.e. when it prevents you from your activities of daily living (ADLS), like eating, sleeping, washing, cleaning, communicating with someone in your life even just a little, that is when we are talking about depression.

Some ways to overcome depression have to do with self esteem. You didn't talk much about yourself, but many who are depressed also have self esteem issues. Loners that are also depressed don't really know where the lines are drawn, between happy solitude and depression. I recommend that you talk to your family doctor, or if you already have a psychologist in your life, invest in one session and make a little headway, a list to work on.

Things that jump to mind to kick start you out of a depression: pick 1 behavior you have control of, like exercising, or showering, or eating 2 apples a day, anything, and start doing it every day. Anything you can do for 21 days they say you can do for life. That will give you a foundation for some confidence building. Don't stop there, start there. After your first few days of making ONLY 1 CHANGE (because the key here is sustained permananent behavioral change), then add another to it. Then you have 2 new positive things that are small but you can manage to do everyday. Be an EVERYDAY girl. No matter what (unless you are legitimately sick) do this small thing you have committed to and that you have control over. Do a load of laundry, every day, or take a short walk, make the goals at the beginning very small so they are attainable.

See, my answer is even longer than your question! Think about what I have said, and let me know what you think of it. Good luck, and remember that it took you 20+ years to develop this personality and these habits, life does not change overnight. Slow and steady wins the race everytime.

If I have helped you, please take a moment and rate me. I won't be able to get questions directed to my column until I establish a certain number of ratings.

Thanks. I am rooting for you!!! :)

Dear Susie

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ok, so i have sims 2 & a whole bunch of expansion packs. well, when i got another one, it like messed up the game, when i went to uninstall it, it didn't work. so i got angry after awhile, [because i couldn't find anything online to help me fix it.] & i just deleted everything. & now when i go and try to search for anything sims/ea games related, nothing comes up, so i figure its all off. well when i went to put up the first sims 2 game double deluxe, i got the where it asks for me to allow it, i click allow, but then nothing happens. -_-

i have a windows vista. & i have spy sweeper, but spy sweeper has been there before i even had the sim games, & i have not changed anything on spy sweeper, so i don't think it has anything to do with that.

my computer is relatively new. we got it in august, but the hard drive thingy broke, so we got a new hard drive over christmas break, so yeah its pretty new.

what should i do?
i'm tempted to just like.. reboot the whole computer. -_-

I am not a technical whiz, and I dont' play one on TV, but my daughter had this same thing happen more than once. There is some kind of glitch after a certain specific expansion pack, things start going wrong. She removed the game completely, started over, and experimented until she could find out which expansion pack messed it up. Go to a Sims chat room and see if you can't get the answers without all the research my daughter had to do. I am sure if it is happening to both of you, it is a large if not universal problem. Please take a moment to give me a rating, I cannot get questions sent to me directly until I have a certain number of points.

Good luck! Let me know what happens.

Dear Susie

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this is hard to say.. but im a cutter. Everytime i get upset, thats what I do.. that or go get messed up, but a razors a lot easier to get.. I cant ween myself from the blade. what do you guys think of cutters honestly ? & what should i do.. my parents know but think i stopped months ago.. ugh... wwhy am i doing this ?

Hi honey. You are doing this because you need to be in control of something. You can control the amount of pain or damage that you do to yourself. You already know this is unhealthy behavior, you don't need my lecture. Many teens "cut" and eventually get help. Let's make sure that you are one of the ones that gets help and not just punished for misbehaving. I have experience with this personally from one of my daughters. Would you like to discuss this together with your parents with my help? Let me know how I can help you to get the truth out there. You are not a bad person, you are a good person with some unresolved issues. You can and will overcome this. Show your parents this answer, that might help broach the subject with them again, and understand that you don't have a lot of control over stopping this behavior on your own, either. Let's find a way, make a way to fix this, okay. Please get back in touch with me and let me know what I can do to help you further.

Dear Susie

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