I love helping people. I was a psychology major in college with a minor in family and child development. I love trying to problem solve and have a way of reading between the lines. I'm in a wonderful marriage (it has taken alot of work and alot of ups and downs) and have survived several family crises. I can often speak from experience. Ask me anything, I'm here to help.
Gender: Female
Member Since: January 18, 2005
Answers: 38
Last Update: January 19, 2005
Visitors: 4625
Main Categories:
Families
Love Life
Parenting
View All
|
| |
|
My friend and I are starting a band, and are trying to get a record deal. The probem is she wants to be a singer. But she's really bad and I'm great{that's what everyone tells me}. And I write all the songs! How should I tell her I'm the lead singer and that I need her to play an instrument instead? (link)
|
Well here's the question... Do you want a successful band or not. It's not personal it's business. It will hurt her feelings but it's better than leading her on and having her get hazed at some band party down the road. Now if the band is just for fun, then leave it alone.
Also is anyone else in the band ? If so let the other people in the band tell her. If they say "you are a good singer but she is a great singer. Let's have her be the lead singer and you play an intrument" ahe might take that better.
If no one else is in the band then it's up to you. I caution you though, if she's is really sensitive, this could potentially kill the friendship.(It shouldn't but it's possible) You simply have to decide how serious this band is to you.
|
|
So my mom and my dad fight constantly and they are kind of alcholics...I always find myself crying myself to sleep and wishing that i had different parents...But neway..one night my dad locked me and my mom out of the house and it was so bad that my mom had to call the police on him....I have never done nething to my dad to make him treat me this way....This may sound horribe but im actually terrified of him...What should i do...please i need advice really bad bcuz this is something that has been bothering me for awhile and i never really had the guts to talk to ppl about it......HELP! (link)
| |
Do you have an Aunt or Uncle that you can turn to? Or even a close family friend. Your home is supposed to be a soft place to fall. You deserve to have a safe haven. Try to find someone you can turn to! I promise people will be eager to help you!
|
|
How in the world do I get my co-worker to stop interrupting? She expects you to respond the split second she yells from her office. If you don't respond she marches out and starts talking to me even if I'm on the phone or having another conversation. Just some sarcastic help on shutting her down would help :) (link)
|
You need to just say, "Listen if I don't answer you immediately, it's because I'm busy doing something else. I promise to answer your questions as soon as I can."
Then suggest that you talk via Email!
|
|
Well I have been going out with this guy for about a month now. Well I was a a party and I wanted to go over to my old b/f's house which is a really great friend too and say hello. :P Well when I went over there I realized that he had moved. And it crushed me soo much. But I dont know why. Maybe it was cause I never got to say goodbye or I still had a thing for him. And that sux to even say that. Cause I am happy with my b/f I have now. I wanna know so bad where he went cause I would still like to keep intouch with him. But what I wanna know is that is it bad to think that I may still have a thing for him? (link)
|
You definitely still have a thing for him. 100%. And no, there's nothing wrong with that. But if he didn't even tell you that he had moved and where he had moved , he probably doesn't feel the same way. And I would think that a good friend would inform you that he is moving and would give you all of his new information so that you could continue to keep in touch with him.
Then there is the new boyfriend. Was he just a transitional boyfriend? I can't help but believe that if you truly love him then this whole thing wouldn't bother you so much.
|
|
I have this boyfriend and we have been together for a while now. And all my friends know how much me means to me. Well despite that he does weed and drinks aften. But he knows that I dont do that type of thing and so you know he dont ask and wont do it around me. Well the other day my friend was reading his lj and it was saying how he got messed up by doing that and drinking everclear. Well she was freaking out thinking that I did that stuff too. I told her I didnt and I wont. But she told me she dont believe that. And she was telling me how even though you maynot its a big deal that it really is and that he could presher me into doing it. But he really would NEVER do that. So I dont know what to do. Now she wont even talk to me. =/ Someone please help! (link)
| |
If she knows you well, and you are an honest person, then she should believe you. However, she's proabaly wondering why you are choosing to be around a person who does all of this stuff if you yourself are opposed to it. Is he's driving you around messed up like this?? Maybe your friend is just concerned with your well-being. However she should believe what you say. Trust is the most important aspect of a friendship. Ask her WHY she doesn't believe you.
|
|
I just want to know when it is the right time to tell him my feelings? I know deep in my heart i am in love with this man. At the same time i am scared to tell him how i feel because, i don't know how he feels about me in that way any way. I am afraid to tell him because i dont want him to get scared and leave the relationship. At the same time it is killing me not to tell him. (link)
|
To be completely honest, it worries me that you aren't more secure about this. I get the feeling that you want to tell him this only to hear it back. Take a deep breath and let the relationship take it's course. If you are with the right person, you shoudn't worry so much about him leaving the relationship.
Well if you think you are just both thinking the same thing, then don't be afraid to tell him! But just say it casually like, "I love spending time with you!" If he scares easily,then a casual approach is probably best. GOOD LUCK!
|
|
i feel like im losing my best friends karlee and michael..their going out. they have been for the past 8 months but now all of a sudden things seem to be changing alot! like their being more distant..and karlee has been talking to this girl she used to hate about her problems rather than me..someone shes known for 7 years. things are just so different i really dont know how to explain. what ashould i do? (link)
| |
You need to simply ask your friend why you two aren't ask close as you used to be? Say " Have I done something wrong? I feel like we aren't as close as we used to be and I miss our friendship.Is everything ok?" This should get the ball rolling. But be prepared, you never know what the answer could be. So be ready for anything.
|
|
my friend and i are gonna dye our hair with that non permanent stuff just for fun. OUr problem is we dont knwo what to do about our eyebrows. IS their any kind of non permanent dye for your eyebrows? or what do you suggest? (link)
| |
Ok I can help you here! DO NOT USE ANY OF THAT STUFF ON EYEBROWS..Unless sight is not that big a deal for you.... What type of dye are you talking about? I mean specifically what type? What color are you dying your hair. If you are going lighter the semiperminent will not really do that. Since it is taking color out of your hair strands. You will have to use perminent which is not a big deal cuz you can always go darker... Now if you are going darker just get an eyebrow pencil and fill in the eyebrows. Go only 2 shades up or two shades down to complement your skin tone.
|
|
My mom and I spent the whole day together. That's not the point. We went somewhere to visit family and when we came home, I went in my room to get away, to relax. So she goes in the living room and sits down on her fat ass.. and conviniently starts ordering me to do things. I was sitting her, we had gotten home like 15 minutes prior to this. I told her I would do it in a bit but she proceeded to yell at me to do it. So the very last time she yelled at me, these were her words: "If you're not fucking out here in 5 damn minutes, I'm kicking your ass off the computer." So in return, I told her to shut up. Not even yelling, it was to myself, and she overhead. So she came to take my danm cellphone, the phone I bought with my money, and pay for with my money, and for some reason she believes she has owenership over because its in her name. BULLSHIT. I'm so pissed I'm hitting shit now.. I want to hit her. Please help. (link)
| |
Do you have an older brother or sister, father, or Aunt or uncle that you can turn to? You need someone you can talk to about this.
|
|
hey. my best friend has this problem. her parents wont let her go onto this website because of so block thing that my best friends other friend gave to my Best friends mom. she likes this site. and wen ever shes at my house shes on it. how should i help? (link)
| |
Show the site to her mom. Let her see that this is a good healthy way to get advice with annonimity. But remember that it's her moms' decision, and ultimately, you have to respect that.
|
|
is 12 too young to wear thongs? (link)
| |
YES. Why do you want to wear a thong? Are you just curious? Or is there some other reason? My guess is that if you try one, you will see how insanely uncomfortable they are and will lose interest in them pretty quickly.
|
|
This is gunna be really long, im sorry. but thanks in advance to anyone that helps! ok, so last night i was hanging out with my boyfriend of almost a month, and we were drinking but neither of us were even feeling a buzz. well one of his friends touched my stomach, and my boyfriend is extremely protective of me and got really pissed. he was trying to calm down and was shaking, he kept telling me he was gunna kill him, so i told him not to worry about it that his friend has no chance with me and i said 'your all i need'. right after i said this he got the sweetest lok on his face and said the 3 words i would of never thought would come from his mouth- "I love you". this caught me by complete surprise, i didn't say anything back, i just kissed him, well throughout the coarse of the night he told me he loved me 8 times. each time i said nothing. We've only been going out for almost a month (will be a month this friday) but have been really close and flirtly for 3 months. i finally gave in and said i love you too one of the times he said it. I do care for him soo much, just for me its so hard to believe in the word and meaning of 'love'. But yet i said it to him, and i think that was a mistake on my part. but i couldn't just not say something. But i want to talk to him about it and tell him i dont want him to say those words until he is sure of what hes saying and when he means it. but how am i supposed to talk to him about it? (link)
| |
My guess is that this guy is all bark and no bite. He never wanted to "kill anyone" and just got strangely scared when the other guy touched you. It bothers me that after you said "You're all I need" that he was all better. One of two things here. He is either seriously insecure and needs constant re-assurance(which does not a healthy relationship make) or he just never felt comfortable telling you his true feelings until you said something first. Either way, he is coming on a bit strong here. I would back things up a little. If that seems to totally freak him out, then I would get out completely. If he seems understanding and is willing to take things more slowly, than give him another chance.
|
|
I'm 16 years old and I seriously need a job. I worked at Target over the summer and retail is...just definitley not my thing. Are there any jobs you can suggest where I can make money, but don't involve retail? Also, what are some good ways to make LOTS of money? (link)
| |
Do you live around alot of families??? Babysitting is good tax free money. I know people who are always looking for sitters. For after scool, at night whenever. You could make $10 dollars an hour and it's tax free. (Assuming you are not doing drugs, alcohol, etc.)
|
okay i have a guy friend...hes nice and sweet but not liked very much at school...tonight he threatened to kill himself. im really scared b/c im not around him much at school and never after school...i care about him alot but sometimes dont show it very well. Should i bring our IM conversation to the councelor tomorow or something else...talking to him doesnt help...he doesnt listen.
please help...i rate hight
-x0x- (link)
| |
Yes, take the IM question to the counselor! You are not qualified to handle this so find someone who is QUICKLY! I have a close friend who killed herself, and I would do anything to go back in time and handle things differently. You have that chance. Take it!
|
My brothers friend is threatening to kill us and himself about something he can't prevent. He is upset because he thinks his friend told us his "secret" which is not true. We need major advice as soon as possible. He told us not to tell anyone or he would kill us and himself. WE NEED HELP! PLEASE!
(link)
| |
You HAVE to tell a professional.(police,parents, school counselorsomeone) Have an intervention with friends and family and a mediator. If he is threatening to kill people you have a responsibility to get try to get this resolved. You don't want to regret sitting on the sidelines.
|
|
ok is it weird for girls to bite guys lips? cuz usually guys bite mine but iv never bitten theirs... and what about running my tongue across my bfs teeth when were making out? my firend told me thats good but i dont know... please help ill rate hi and if u guys have any other ideas please tell me! (link)
| |
Well, biting a guy on the upper lips gently is good. But running your tongue across his teeth I think is a bit strange. Unless you are a dental hygenist. :)
|
My heart has been broken by my best male friend
but i still love him...should i still be friends with him or wat? (link)
| |
Most people might say be friends with him. But if your heart is involved right now, than it's just not possible. I would take some time to lick your wounds. Tell him that being friends with him right now is just too hard. Hopefully as your heart mends over time you can revisit your friendship with him.
|
|
I think about sex all the time.....but i know if it came down to doing it i wouldnt do it...I dont want to have sex but i think about it all tha time....im plannin on waitin until marriage...but wat do these thoughts mean? (link)
| |
Of course uou are thinking about sex all the time. That's totally natural. But I can tell you this, if you are 100% sure, than you are not ready. This is a HUGE decision. It will impact you much more than you understand right now. You have the rest of your life to have sex. My advice id wait until you KNOW that you are ready. Believe me. That time will come.
|
|