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What do I do? </3


Question Posted Tuesday January 18 2005, 3:47 pm

I have this boyfriend and we have been together for a while now. And all my friends know how much me means to me. Well despite that he does weed and drinks aften. But he knows that I dont do that type of thing and so you know he dont ask and wont do it around me. Well the other day my friend was reading his lj and it was saying how he got messed up by doing that and drinking everclear. Well she was freaking out thinking that I did that stuff too. I told her I didnt and I wont. But she told me she dont believe that. And she was telling me how even though you maynot its a big deal that it really is and that he could presher me into doing it. But he really would NEVER do that. So I dont know what to do. Now she wont even talk to me. =/ Someone please help!

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thisorthat answered Tuesday January 18 2005, 8:39 pm:
I don't blame her. Listen I wouldn't hang around somebody or for sure date anybody who was getting intoxicated all the time. If one of my friends was dating somebody like that I could see myself distancing from that person so I could stay away from that bad element. She's just protecting herself. It has nothing to do with you. It's not that you are any different she just doesn't want to take the risk of being around anybody who is involved in this sort of stuff, and I for one agree with her. But she is not really relevant to your situation. What is relelvant is that you're dating a drug user, possibly an addict. First of all how do you know he doesn't do it around you. He could easily get wasted before he meets up with you which I would bet happens regularly and you know that it does. Second it's not safe to be with a guy like that. What if he drives drunk. What if he starts using harder drugs. What if he already is and you don't know it. You said he does weed and drinks often. How often? Is this what you want in a relationship? Tell him to quit for two months and see if he makes it. If it's even an issue or he refuses to take the challenge you can bet that he is an addict. It's not something you should get caught up in. If you really care about him you'd distance yourself from him and tell him you'll date him if he straightens his act out. Be a friend view him as sick, not bad. Try to get him help. AA is great and works for a lot of people. But as far as your friend goes...maybe you should ask yourself if maybe she's right about what she feels. Maybe there is some truth to it. Is it worth losing friends over a boyfriend? Which has a greater value? What is the deciding factor over who is acting in the most appropriate way? Figure all this out and you'll have the answer. I think you may already have it anyway. Hope I was helpful. That's my advice.

John
(bobcohen5309@yahoo.com)

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Allie1 answered Tuesday January 18 2005, 4:13 pm:
If she knows you well, and you are an honest person, then she should believe you. However, she's proabaly wondering why you are choosing to be around a person who does all of this stuff if you yourself are opposed to it. Is he's driving you around messed up like this?? Maybe your friend is just concerned with your well-being. However she should believe what you say. Trust is the most important aspect of a friendship. Ask her WHY she doesn't believe you.

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NEVERLETG00 answered Tuesday January 18 2005, 4:04 pm:
i dont see why she doens't believe you, shes your friend! she should believe anything you say, especially when its about yourself, she should come to realize that you wouldn't do that type of stuff, she should know you well enough! wait until she comes around, or tell her to ask your boyfriend if you do anything like that, or any one else. then she should believe you when other people agree with you. xox

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