Member Since: April 7, 2015
Answers: 79
Last Update: January 31, 2025
Visitors: 5577
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I’ve been working for a month. I handed my boss my direct deposit slip 3 weeks ago and I haven’t been paid. We’re supposed to get paid every 2 weeks. I haven’t gotten a paper check. My boss isn’t around when I’m at work, it’s just the assistant managers. He doesn’t answer his phone. (link)
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Are you Unionized? Have you talked to your shop steward?
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I've just been asked to be part of the bridal party for one of my best friends. While I feel so honoured by her request, I'm very hesitant as she has told me about her intention to ask someone else as well. This person and I do not get along.
This person used to be my friend and former roommate. Our friendship ended 6 months ago when she moved out. Having been friends for over a decade, we had moved in together despite the fact that I was warned by various other friends that it wasn't a good idea. From the day we moved in, the relationship started deteriorating and she started to behave quite badly.
Just a few examples of this included:
- Never washing her dishes or putting them away or putting the garbage out and becoming hostile when I asked her to do so.
- Getting extremely upset with me during the time that my grandfather was dying. I was very sad and withdrawn and she accused me of making her feel as though she had done something wrong.
- Being very angry at me when I told her I felt uncomfortable if she were to sublet her room for a month while she was travelling (I eventually convinced my sister to sublet from her).
- Starting a verbal fight with me and, when a friend came over later, throwing objects around the kitchen and slamming cupboards to the point that we needed to leave the apartment.
- Doing drugs in my room while I was away on vacation.
I'm not innocent in this situation. In a lot of these conflict situations, I would either leave or practice avoidance. However, when I did assert myself or try to communicate, she would become very loud and intimidating. I am usually the 'mother' in any given friend circle and, while she encouraged me to practice boundaries with other friends, she became angry when I wouldn't be flexible with her.
We had come to an understanding that she would move out and I gave her ample time to find a new apartment. After several months of her staying put, I gave her a firm date to leave.
I haven't spoke to her since and had no intention of doing so. I came to the realization that, while I had supported her through many different life situations (losing an immediate family member, a break up, a theft), she had never been there for me or tried to support me in times of need. In addition to this, I developed anxiety during our last few months of living together and I still experience panic when thinking about her.
While the bride was supportive of me during this time, she still remains friends with my previous roommate. We had decided that I shouldn't share my feelings about the previous roommate with her due to the fact that it was very uncomfortable to be stuck in the middle.
When I found out that my best friend was getting married, I was happy for her but felt guilty about the fact that my mind immediately went to the fact that I would have to see my previous roommate again.
To add to this, there has been a lot of heartbreak that occurred between my previous roommate and other mutual friends even prior to our co-habitation. Due to this, the bride decided, out of her own volition to do two sets of events (i.e. bachelorette party, engagement party). This was an unfortunate set of affairs but seemed necessary given the circumstances. At the time, the bride did not want a wedding party.
The bride has now decided to ask her sister, another friend, myself, my previous roommate and my previous roommate's best friend. While I love my best friend and I want to be there for her on her big day, my throat closes when I think about interacting with my previous roommate. But what would be worse is if I bowed out of being in the bridal party and saw my previous roommate involved in my best friend's special day. I feel terrible but I've been fantasizing about skipping out on the entire day.
I haven't said anything about this to the bride and she wants to have a conversation. I don't want to hurt her or make this more difficult than it already is. What should I do? (link)
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Bring a video camera or cell phone with video recording, to document the happy event. Maybe that'll help keep her on best behavior!
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I'm in a horrible situation and need help fast. I'm 22 and he is 22, slightly younger than me. I have no one to talk to because I'm not supposed to be talking to him. I met this guy a year ago through a friend when he moved here from another state. He was staying with his friend who lived with my friend. I was also moving into an apartment at the same time. It's my first apartment and I got it all on my own. Me, jumping into adult life quickly, I let this guy stay at my apartment and then lived there and we were dating. Things got real ugly. Long story shot, I've called the cops on him 3 times, had him sent to a mental help place for saying he was going to kill himself, and he's punched a hole through my door and stolen hundreds from me, both cash from my wallet and items that were sold. He's broken 2 or 3 of his phones, smashed electronics I bought, screamed at me making me hyperventilate and lock myself in the bathroom to call the cops.
At one point, I told my parents what happened and my dad came down from another state to stay with me and change my locks because I didn't feel safe. He also pushed me into going to the police station to start the process of a restraining order against this guy.
We had a court date set. To give you an idea of how careless this guy is, he brought over flowers when he knew my dad was here staying with me after all of this. He does NOT think things through or think of consequences.
I didn't know where he was at this time. The court date was probably a week away and I was having second thoughts about a restraining order. I even went to a center for women who are abused to talk to them and get some insight on whether I should go through with it. I was torn. He was my best friend. One night when I was home alone, I started to think a lot and cry and I called him.
He was staying at a friend's apartment not far from me. I told him to just not go to the court date and I wouldn't either. I mostly just felt that he was my best friend and I couldn't do it. I was so close to him. We related a lot. Soon after, the restraining order case was dropped, and the lease was ending at the apartment he was staying at.
I, unfortunately, allowed him in. I told him it was temporary, and that I didn't want to date. But I couldn't let him live on the street or at a shelter. But, he sleeps with me and we act like a couple in secret.
Now, he's gone through MANY jobs and can't keep one. Constantly asks for money and things that I believe he'll pay me back for. He smokes marijuana outside of my apartment (I do NOT smoke). He does not pay rent. I have to watch what I say. I can't bring any friends over. I can't talk to anyone about it. I measure how mad he is by how hard he slams the door. I am CONSTANTLY STRESSED. I work so much and he just stays here.
Out of fear, I can't say too much how I don't want to be kissing him or talking sweet to him because he gets extremely upset and cries and will scream. So I live, just, carefully and it's the same stuff every day.
I'm so sorry this is long. I really, really need help. I am SO stuck.
My dad is moving down here and he cannot be here. But he has no where to go. So I told him a month ago he needed to be out. It's now that time and only now he is messaging people for somewhere to live and no one is answering. Do I just stand my ground and say he needs to be out by tomorrow night regardless? He's saying he'll live in his car, but he doesn't realize what that all entails. His parents won't even take him back. No friends. I can't do this anymore. I want to be free. What would you do? (link)
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This really seems like a zero-sum problem. It is difficult so see how taking care of him won't ever compromise taking care of yourself, and vice versa. This is exactly why Nietzsche so hated altruism! It can be such a quagmire. Eventually, you may be forced to choose, unless you get creative. In order to eat your cake and have it too, ask yourself: Even if you had vast resources, what would you want to do? Here's another possible approach, but this will take a lot of work: Call social services and report this situation as an ongoing psychiatric emergency, and let them guide you. Also seek support for yourself, as a competent and committed care giver, and not just as a habitual victim staving in recovery. Tell them that you are his family of choice, so that they won’t expect you to come to your senses and save yourself. What he needs is treatment in a setting of a supervised living arrangement. And this is not something that you can provide. You could still be an important part of his life. This is the only distant possibility that occurs to me, for reconciling these conflicting priorities. Good luck. Let’s keep in touch.
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theres this woman at my job, anyway she is a female as am I. we are both 33 ive always thought she was gay, she doesn't come off as straight 2 me..now I don't speak 2 anyone at my job...but she will make a special effort 2 make convo with me and if Im lookin at something on my comp, she'll come by me closely and just be cheesin and grinning, sometimes she'll touch my arm....and shell say what are you lookin at in this weird playful voice....or she'll peek around the corner while im at my desk and say hi....she is always extra happy 2 be around me....one day I had to use the computer by her area and she said I should be her cute little desk buddy, now there is another woman who sits at that cubicle but she wasnt there that day and I had to use that computer for something since mine was not working and no one elses computer was available. I think she is gay and has a huge crush on me and wants me in a physical sexual manner, she doesn't do this around anyone, just privately when im at my front desk...ive been hit on women before and ive been threatened by them too cuz I don't deal/like with chics....this woman's happiness is over extended around me, she loves standing near me, but she'll stay apart from the other chics at my job...and she isn't playful with my other coworkers....i had a picture on my computer with intertwined cherries, in the shape of a heart, well here comes freak, n she stood right next to me just smilin and says ummm those look good while staring at me....sometimes, she'll even give me a shytty attitude for no reason at all....while ive been hit on and bluntly approached by women, I am not gay by any means, but some people think if a woman hits on another woman then that makes the woman being hit on gay, I find that untrue....u" ....is there a way I can stop this...should I say something, or should i just leave it alone and accept the fact that women find me attractive and there's nothing I can do about it but accept it...." thanks for any advice (link)
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Go chat up one of your male coworkers.
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I'm 24, female, and single. I want to be in a serious relationship since I haven't seriously dated somebody in a couple years, but I'm picky (according to everybody else).
For example, I won't date somebody who is still working as a waiter (unless it's at a high end restaurant with big tips), at a fast food restaurant, or a minimum wage position. I just feel like once you're old enough to have a college degree or prior work experience you should have a better job. I'm not expecting anybody rich or anything, but at least for the person to be making an average wage. I make a little more than most people my age, but I don't even have my degree yet (finishing my bachelors) so I feel like I'm not asking that much. If I can put in the work to find a job that pays more than minimum wage so can other people. I understand of course if something is holding the person back from getting something better, but it needs to be something other than laziness and low work ethic.
Unless they already had a good job and did it for fun, I won't date somebody who's in debt from a 4+ year degree that they knew would not be in demand. For example, I know people who went to school for something like Humanities and are now in tons of debt over it and can't find a job. I feel like it shows that the person makes extremely poor decisions seeing as they had 4+ years to change their major to something more hireable.
Unless he's genuinely saving up a ton of money or has to help his family, I won't date a guy who still lives with his parents when he's 23 or older. I feel like by then you should at least have an apartment with friends or live on campus.
I won't date somebody who doesn't have a car. If you're 22 or over I feel like asking for somebody to have a car isn't crazy. I worked my butt off to get a car at 19 and I'm on my second one now.
I don't feel like I'm asking for too much. I feel like all of my requests are more than manageable for anybody who's not being held back by a bad situation. Yet I get people who tell me that I'm a gold digger and a bitch for asking this much and that I'm going to be single forever unless I stop being so "materialistic". Well I don't see it that way, I see it as being financially responsible. We're not talking about 18yo's we're talking about 23yos and up.
Are they just suffering from special snowflake syndrome or am I being too critical?
(link)
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Are these criteria of yours means goals to some desired result, or ends goals in and of themselves?
Would any of these criteria make him kinder, better in bed, better looking, or you more happy?
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My boyfriend has fingered me but m late on my periods ...does this a sign of pregnancy?? Pls help me with the correct solutions (link)
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"Does fingering causes late period or pregnancy" you ask. I doubt it! Is your late period a sign of pregnancy What is the right thing to do? Answer" See a doctor of gynecologist! Duh! Or just get a home test from the drug store. Are there obstacles to either course of action?
PS. In case you are not ready to become a mother, and need an abortion: Don't feel guilty! Corporations and zygotes are not people. There is nowhere near the brain development to support consciousness until the third trimester. But don't procrastinate.
And from now on, you need to decide on some or other reliable means how to prevent pregnancy until you actually want it. Every child must be wanted!
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17/f south africa
I have a business project where we need to design a product (can exist already) and then the packaging must also be nice and we have to make a commercial for it. I know one group is making a phone holder for when you charge it. I literally cant think of anything. It needs to be something we'd be able to make and package (link)
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email me at aaronagassi@comcast.net
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Please excuse the hostile title of my question, but I am VERY angry right now. I want to warn you in advance that this writing might make me sound like a truly terrible person, but like I said, I'm extremely angry and fed up at the moment with my parents and my situation.
My parents have one of the worst marriages I've personally ever seen in my life. I don't understand why they ever got married in the first place or why they have stayed married for as long as they have. It's against our religion for them to get divorced, but there are many times that I feel like they, and the rest of our family, would be better off if they got separated or something. I don't think that's against their beliefs.
If I had to tell you everything wrong with their marriage, I'd be writing all night. There are numerous ways that my parents marriage sucks, but basically, they're distant, secretive, rude, verbally abusive, and vindictive. They spend entirely too much time apart, they leave each other out of things they do with their friends that they should do together, they keep secrets from each other, they call each other names that I've never called my worst enemy, and they do things just to make each other angry. Their marriage is constantly getting worse instead of better because when one of them gets angry at the other, instead of talking about it like normal people, they just get revenge on each other.
My parents scared me out of ever wanting to get married. I know they don't have a normal marriage and I know it's possible to get married and be extremely happy with your spouse, but even so, I just never could get up the guts to bite the bullet and commit my life to another person PERMANENTLY not knowing for certain what our marriage would look like one day. I am a Christian like my parents and if I did get married, I couldn't run to get divorced as quickly as some people do. I could get separated, but only if I was desperate and my husband and I would still be joined together legally. Also, the fact that I grew up watching my parents dysfunctional marriage and have never really, closely seen what a good marriage looks like kept me from having confidence in myself to know how to be a good wife and make a marriage work.
I always wanted a family, but when I kept chickening out of marriage, I decided just to have kids on my own using both IVF and adoption. I now have a large family that I'm raising by myself and I'm extremely happy with my life choices most of the time. But on occasion, I do feel sad that I don't have a husband and my kids don't have a dad. They have father figures, but not a legit dad in their lives. I feel bad about that, especially for the boys, but what can I do now? Who wants to marry a single mother raised in a dysfunctional family who doesn't even know what a healthy marriage looks like. Even if someone did, there's not a counselor in the world that could assuage my fears about marriage.
The reason I came here is that my parents are constantly putting me in the middle of their arguments and I get SICK OF IT!!! It's not FAIR!!! They get mad at each other for things I have nothing to do with and they make me take sides, help get revenge on each other, and bad mouth each other to other people. It SUCKS!!!
While I deeply love both of my parents, despite their flaws, and have a very close relationship with my Mother, my relationship with my dad hasn't been good since I was twelve. We've been very distant and we both hate that. We try to work on it, but every time we seem to be getting closer, something happens and our relationship goes straight to hell again.
So over the past six or seven months, my parents have been working on remodeling their house. The first thing they did was remodel the bathroom my sister and I used to share. They took out that bathtub that used to be in it and put in a shower in it's place. I use that shower when I can because it's by far the nicest and one of the most spacious showers I've ever used.
Two weeks ago tomorrow, I was using that shower and when I opened one of the two glass sliding doors, said door fell and shattered. It apparently wasn't put on right. Both of my hands were badly cut up. I had a cut in my finger on my right hand that went all the way down to the bone and the glass took two big chunks of skin out of my left hand that required stitches. I had a cut on my foot and one my left arm that was DIRECTLY OVER all of the veins and arteries in that arm that can kill you if you cut them open. The whole thing scared me to death. I was very sore for over a week and although I've been feeling better and healing fast, I temporarily lost some of the feeling in the finger that was cut all the way down to the bone and I fear I might be anemic from the blood loss. That probably sounds a little dramatic, but I lost a lot of blood, more than you'd think, and I was also on my menstrual cycle at the time. I've been having symptoms of anemia since then.
I was afraid my dad was going to be angry about what happened. I was scared he was gonna scold me and make me buy a new door. I was a little scared that he would even ban me from his and my mom's house. Instead, he was nothing but worried and sympathetic towards me. He wanted to look at my hands and arm, he asked me how bad the whole thing scared me, he gave me a couple very big hugs. He couldn't have cared less about the door. It was the closest I'd felt to him in a long time. It was one of the rare moments when my dad shows me how much I mean to him and it meant a lot to me.
We've been tight since then, but tonight, my mom almost screwed the all of that up. You see, on Saturday, I wanted to take my kids to see the new Beauty and the Beast movie and my mom said that she'd like to come. I found out that she told a lie to keep my dad from knowing where we were going out of fear that he'd come along if he knew. My dad has since found out where we went and that we'd left him out of something he'd have probably enjoyed and I feel bad about that. I didn't know my mom was going to lie to him like that. I should've invited him myself, but I didn't realize how much he'd have wanted to come. I didn't think he'd like the movie. Even as an adult, I loved it, but it is still a kids' movie and a musical, so I assumed my dad wouldn't want to come, but apparently he would and now I feel like sh!t.
That incident with the shower door happened two weeks ago and today was the third time that my dad had promised to go to the closest home depot an hour away and get a new shower door. He didn't do so and my mom wanted me to confront him and be a b!tch to him thinking that he'd get it done faster if I did. Thing is, my dad and I have been getting along great lately and after the whole thing with the movie, I was scared that he already wasn't happy with me. If I went and was an @as hole to him about the shower door, then he might explode on me and our whole relationship would go south again. Especially since I was the one who broke the door.
I went to politely ask him about the door, but when he was really sweet to me and we talked for a minute, leading me to realize that he wasn't angry with me, I lost my nerve to say anything that could anger him. My mom kept pushing me though so eventually I mentioned it to him, but it didn't help much. He was perfectly sweet about it, but didn't sound like he had gone to indeed home depot and I failed to light a fire under him like my mom wanted me to. This is not a good example of one of my parents putting me in the middle of an argument, but it's what prompted me to come here.
My mom is furious with me for not standing up to my dad and telling him off about the door like she wanted me to. She brought up the times I have stood up to my dad when it was for myself and accused me of not caring enough to do it for her. I explained to her that the rare times I've had the backbone to stand up to my dad, it was because he provoked me to do so, but he didn't provoke me today. I also explained that even if I had more of a backbone, my dad didn't deserve to be berated for the door today. Yes, he should've gotten it like he promised my mom, but he had a pretty busy day and I don't understand why it's such a big deal anyway. There's another shower and a bathtub in the house. My mom does like to use the new shower, but not often it's not like it's the only place in the house to bathe.
This is what I'm sick of. My choices tonight were to either be a jerk to my dad and ruin how well we've been getting along lately or to not be a jerk to my dad and make my mom mad at me. My parents do this to me all the time. They put me in the middle and make it so I can't possibly get out of the situation without making at least one of the mad at me. My mom acknowledges that she puts me in this position. She says flat out that I have to choose between her being mad or my dad being mad at me. I've tried to tell them that I'm not getting in the middle of anything, but that tends to make BOTH of them mad me.
It's really not fair because I have done nothing to get myself in these situations. I didn't cause my parents to have such a disaster of a marriage, I don't cause their arguments, I don't cause myself to be put in the middle of their arguments. I have no options. It's either p!ss my mom off or p!ss my dad off. Their are no other options.
The only other thing I can think of that I could do is to stop being around my parents, but that is not an option. I love both of my parents very much and could never alienate them from my life.
Super sorry this has been such a long writing, but I just wanted you to know everything you might need to know about the situation. Does anyone have any advice? (link)
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First of all, don't give argument such a bad name: Your parents quarrel. Second, you piss me off with your faith and your beliefs, in all disregard for all that is right under your nose. Believe what you see and what you know. Don't make enemies with your own intelligence. Then give yourself a break: One good parent may be better than two bad ones. And single moms cam be hot! You can meet men and forge relationships, and let any question of marriage arise in its own need and due course. Or you can reach out to men who are explicitly marriage minded.
And take care of your anemia.
My advice, there is no need to choose between asserting yourself and being manipulative. It is possible to do both at once. Surprise your folks: Take care of the shower door yourself, and put a gift ribbon on it. In your purse, keep a cut onion in a baggie, in order to weep on cue next time you feel pressured.
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well i been heartbroken over this guy named josiah for 4-5 years, we were close and almost dated. he led me on and used me til didnt need me anymore, and is my first love, kiss who lost virginity to etc. we ent from talking alot flirting etc to all sudden it stopped. idk why still, and foundout from someone that is married now. i tried sending a friend request on facebook, playing it off as dont have these feelings still, but denied request but didnt block. want talk to him so badly, as did have a miscarriage of his child and never griefed properly as kept it from my family cause they lecture me about having feelings for him tho thats not something i can help , tried everything i could think of to move on, and now in a relationship with lance, who treats me like queen do care for just not as much as do josiah. he knows had thing for him in past, as told him how he hurted me badly emotionally dont think it was intentional tho cuase he's best guy i ever knew before lance. what should i do? and want make my current relationship work though im just settling for lance since cannot have josiah like we were... (link)
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Wake up! Allow yourself to prefer Lance's acceptance to Josiah's rejection, instead of pining. Do something nice for Lance. When you have grown stronger, then revisit your problem.
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Ok so i own a Siberian Husky pup he is almost 1 year old he is a great dog love him till death. He listens when inside the house great but i feel like its only because he feels like he is trapped. As soon as i let him outside he no longer listens and if he does something bad and i have to punish him i put him in a cage in the house then it takes me a week just to get his trust back he will not come when called will not drop a item when told to do so. And Like i said this is only once we leave the house when we are out doors or in the backyard of the house. He is fast a short 50 pound little ball of fire always on the move he has a huge backyard to play in and i try to get him to the dog park at least twice a week depending on the weather. I train with him everyday but he does not seem to get it he is very hesitant when i call him to me in the backyard and does not even acknowledge my presence at the dog park. He will be bad picking on a puppy at the dog park then we get home and he jumps up on the coach with me like were best friends and i am not mad at him. He knows i am the Alpha again great in the house wont touch food dropped on the floor until told to do so sits when told to even knows when i get him in the house and he was bad he knows to go into his crate. I tried looking everywhere online and everyone says the same thing just practice in your backyard bring him out on a leash i have tried it all as soon as he gets a inch freedom he takes a lot more then a mile. If anyone has advice i really appreciate it also food does not interest him i don't know if i already said that but if anyone knows like a irresistible dog treat that would also be great (link)
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I am sure that there are forums more specific to your question.
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Okay, so how it all started.
A close friend has a tendency to ignore me when he gets upset. I hate being ignored, it hurts. He always has excuses to ignore me for days!
So the last time he did it I don't know what got into me but I just decided to cut. To my surprise, it actually helps! Not the pain but the blood. I don't know but seeing the blood makes me feel way better. I feel less bad. So after that I cut every time I get angry, frustrated or when I just feel bad. Well, my life isn't exactly great, I have other better reasons for cutting besides my dumbass friend.
I do not cut deep so I do not think its any dangerous but should I still stop? I cut my thighs and hips not my wrists so no one finds out. If I have to stop how do I stop? Its really addicting. (link)
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Perhaps professional help would be in order in order to stop. It seems that all you want is for your friend to lean on you when he feels blue. Does he know that?
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A few months ago I started meeting up with someone and we decided to have sex (I should probably state that I'm female). It was my first time ever having sex and ever since I've been feeling so desperate to keep having sex. Almost every single time we've seen each other we've had sex. Although I was originally hoping for a steady and serious relationship I can't seem to control my urges. We haven't tried anything different and we can only meet up once every few weeks. I feel like I'm so deprived of sex most of the time. I don't know what this means for me and what I should do. (link)
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It means that you want more sex. So you should have more sex, Duh!
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I'm a 20 year old female and I had recently hooked up with a guy that I liked. It was my first time having sex with anyone and ever since I have been wanting more of it. I have done masturbation but so far it hasn't been having much of an effect. It's been the same feeling and it's gotten to the point where I might end up masturbating at least five times in a day. I once spent a few days with the guy and we had sex each day I was there (made sure he used condoms), but ever since I was returned home I've felt so sexually repressed. He's a great guy and I trust him, also he's pestered me to meet my parents.
I don't know if it might have anything to do with it, but I've been wanting to try new things with him ever since and are too nervous to ask. I'm wondering if exploring this new curiosity would ease my tensions even a little. What would be the best thing to do? Could I experiment? I feel like I should be careful about what I try with him. (link)
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I think that you already know what you want.
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Hi,
I am jharna.i want to die immediately. Because I want a child but my husband have already two children from his first wife,and that children don't want my child.my husband also support there decision.so my life is meaningless that's why I am feeling absolutely very alone and I can't live without my child so I want to die immediately..plz somebody help me and suggest me what I will do ? (link)
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If maternity is the only source of meaning, then something is pervasively wrong in your life. Womanhood defines you, but so do other things. But if the choice is between motherhood and suicide, motherhood does seem at all less extreme. There is however, also the wellbeing of the child to consider. How best to frame the problem? If you are feeling so blue, then you need adequate emotional support. Where is there to turn? Is it a problem of another mouth to feed, or resources and money? Can you improve your finances? Some people actually choose to become single parents, even with all the complications. Or maybe you need a husband who also wants more children. None of this is simple or easy. You must gather your thoughts, to even begin working out the right questions and figure out what sort of help you want.
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im girl 17,i told my classmate(boy) who is also my crush in the concrete i gave him a note, saying i like him..two days later, i asked him to talk about it bc he didnt give any respond and i wanted to how he feels ,during school,i asked him if we could go and talk somewhere private , he said it is nice that i told him about my feelings for him,he also told me that he know how hard it must´ve been for me to hide my feelings from him.then he said he doesnt have time for relationship bc he has activites besides school (he plays guitar, he dances)and also he told me he firstly wants to develop more spiritually..(if that makes sense) bc we go to catholic church ,and then he hugged me saying that we should continue to be friends and then i deleted him from my friends on fb during summer holidays bc i was always checking if he is online.now is new school year and he found out i removed him from my friends on fb, and he texted me why i did that, and if he did something wrong he is sorry , i told him i did it bc it hurts me and that i dont want to be friends, and he said it´s ok, i thought it would hurt less, but it hurts me more ,now i ignore him bc i dont know how to act to him..he sent me friend request on fb but i didnt accept it yet..he was good friend to me before i told him about my feelings..please help me should i be his friend again or not? if yes what should i tell him,why i suddenly accepted his friend request on fb,and also today is his birthday, should i wish him happy birthday even i removed him from my friends??..thanks for help :) (link)
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You are both ambivalent. As I understand it, your only reason to avoid him rather than remaining friends, is to flee the pain of his rejection of you for more intimate relationship. So either choice, to remain friends or to avoid him, are both hurtful and wrong for you. Thus instead of remaining so trapped, I present three strategies for improving your circumstances. These strategies may all be appliquéd separately or concurrently together. Exclusivity is questionable to begin with. But exclusivity to someone unattainable, only means joining him at perpetual arm's length in chastity. So maybe you should look for other people. Is it really good for either of you, to let him keep you on hold, and begin simply taking you for granted? He doesn't want to lose you. He cannot serve two masters. Competition may open his eyes. If not, you may find someone else. Either way, you will be happier. His only real reason for keeping distance, is his Catholic sexual guilt and shame. That's why he keeps himself so busy! To win him over, there are two more strategies: One is seduction. It often works wonders! But there is also risk. The second option, perhaps even more dangerous, is to make him think: Tell him you read a story (the one I am about to tell you). Ask him to imagine standing before his Maker, declaring: "Oh Lord, I have remained chaste!" To which God answers: "Fool! I gave you the chance at happiness! The Devil invented chastity." Challenge the entire divine commandment theory of morality: Does morality come from God, or is even God bound by morality? If sins are bad only because God says so, than that is completely arbitrary. But if God the all knowing and ever truthful, forbids sins because indeed they are evil to begin with, then does faith demand blind obedience, or does conscience demand curiosity to understand why? The divine commandment theory only uses God to sidestep morality entirely. Next advance in the alternative, the rights and harm theory of morality, which states: For an act to ne morally wrong, said act must accomplish two things: To be immoral, an act must 1) violate another's rights and 2) it must do harm. Ask him to apply those criteria to that which you both so yearn for: As long as you take proper precautions and contingencies, then what harm? Are you not within your rights? Would he truly recommend, much less impose, chastity upon everyone, or only upon himself? Remind him that we all grow and change, gaining perspective upon life questions: Quote for him 1 Corinthians 13: 11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. He knows that you are ready. Perhaps, really, so is he. He needs to understand that loneliness and chastity are actually becoming unhealthy and suffering, harmful for each of you. If he cares for you, he needs to understand in his heart, how unhappy you are. He needs to come to terms with his sexuality, sooner or later.
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Hello, I'm freaking out and don't know what to do. I'm completely out of money and overdrafted by -$10 in my account.
I'm a college student who just moved off to college less than a month ago and found a new job three weeks ago. It turned out though that in the first two weeks my job didn't give me very many hours as I was training so I only wound up with about $110 for the first week and haven't been paid yet for this last week and won't be paid for this week until next Thursday or later.
My issue is that I have a car payment and car insurance which totals about $425 together and my car insurance was taken out this morning, which is what overdrafted me.
I even sold a watch that I loved to make money ($80) but I sold it online and now I won't get paid for it until the buyer gets it and accepts it, but who knows when that will be when I just shipped it today.
My car payment ($316) is due on the 26th and though I have a grace period I have no idea how I'm going to be able to make this!!!
Fortunately, because I am a college student I at least have a meal plan so I can depend on that for food during the week. However, I have no money for food on the weekends or anything else I might need. I'm also 100 miles behind on an oil change in my car so I don't even feel safe driving it and it needs a synthetic change which is $60! I don't know what to do, I feel like everything is a giant disaster right now!
I can't ask my mom or dad for money because they don't have any to spare and I'm stuck on campus without any friends since I'm new here.
Please help me with some ideas!
(link)
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Call the insurance company and negotiate. Call the bank and beg for leniency on the overdraft fees. Pay the oil change first, so you don't kill your car. You can get the $60 by collecting returnable cans and bottles, especially if you can find out which students are the biggest boozers. Call social services and see your guidance councilor for further advice. Everybody complains they can't get good help, myself included. Scour Craig's list. After the oil change, join Uber. Post fliers for help moving. Any one else have some ideas?
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I met a guy on deviant art who was 20 (I'm 13 but I turn 14 on January 7th) and we started talking. I never had my age or name up on my profile. Or how I looked like. So he didn't know how old I was or any of that. He saw my art, though and thought I was so great. He had a fan fiction series he was writing and I suggested he made a Wattpad account for it. So he did. And we chatted on there more. One day I suggested he added a cover to his fan fiction and he said he wasn't too good at making covers so I offered to draw one for him. I finished it within a week (I think). He loved it and even told me I did so well, he kinda wanted to give me virtual kisses because of it. I was kinda shocked and didn't know how to respond at first. Then I replied- "That's cute. *virtual kisses* 😘" He did the same. Ever since, we'd been giving each other virtual kisses and I was had been so into him while we were talking as friends so I went along with it. Later on, we got pretty close and I lived it. However, one day I was just looking around at his profile and I saw it. He was 20 effing years old. I didn't know what to do because I was already so into him and thought my age could scare him off. But I ignored it for a while. Months later (and quite recently) he asked me how old I was and my hear freaking SINKED. I freaked out big time and didn't know what to say. I was thinking "Should I tell him my real age?" "What if he never talks to me again?" "What's gonna happen?" Eventually, I freaked out and told him I was 15, thinking it would freak him out a little less (again, I'm 13). His reaction wasn't really good at first but he said he'd wait for me and he thinks I'm turning 18 in 2019 but I'm really turning 18 in 2020. So instead of 3 years, he'd have to wait 5 years for me to turn 18. It's almost been a month since then and I'm in love with this guy. I know how he looks, how he sounds, and everything. He has a YouTube channel as well but anyways yeah. We've been texting on Kik for awhile now. But idk what to do, PLEASE HELP. WE'VE BEEN FLIRTING A LOT AND WE ARE SUPPOSED TO MEET EACH OTHER ONE DAY. IM SCARED HOW HE'LL REACT AND THAT HE'LL STOP TALKING TO ME!!! HELP!!!!!
I don't even CARE if he doesn't want a relationship. Just having him still talk to me will be enough. (link)
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I cannot predict his response. I can only say that a lie more quickly retracted is easier to overlook with less drama.
PS. Of interest: http://www.ageofconsent.com
PPS. my collaborative fiction brainstorming site: http://www.FoolQuest.com/fiction.htm
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How do I convince a guy I'm not to young for him? (link)
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Never sabotage yourself by behaving immature and foolish. He is ashamed and anxious. A reasonable and serious demeanor is best starting point in order to put him better at ease so that he can warm up to you. He will then succumb to your charms soon enough. Caring for one another, warts and all, comes just as naturally.
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I am 21/F and I have been sexually active for a little over 2 and a half years. I started out on "the pill" way before but due to my hectic schedule and general forgetfulness I didn't feel that it was a smart choice for contraceptive measures once I became sexually active.
I now have implanon implanted in my arm and have for a little over a year. My only complaint is that it makes my period very irregular, which my gyno told me was normal.
Now that I have a steady boyfriend and we have both been tested for STDs we have sex on a regular basis. I am really not a fan of condoms so we have sex without them. I did a lot of research and consultation with my gynecologist and have been reassured that having your (STD free) partner ejaculate inside of you is safe as long as the implant is not expired. I really, really enjoy having my boyfriend finish inside of me, I find it incredibly pleasurable and it feels very intimate to me, but I am still concerned because of how irregular my periods are. I'm not sure if it is worth the paranoia anymore and I feel very conflicted. My boyfriend has told me if it makes me uncomfortable we can go back to still "pulling out" but I feel silly after I have already been told that it makes no difference to "pull out" - that is what my gyno and Planned Parenthood has said.
Does anyone else struggle with this paranoia? I know some people will say that if sex makes you nervous you shouldn't be having sex, but I don't find that to be reasonable. I love sex, I practice safe sex, and I want to be able to enjoy it the way that I feel fit. If anyone else has routines or tips that help them deal with their irregular periods or any relevant insight I would be very grateful. Thank you! (link)
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If reliable information is not reassuring, then the issue must be psychological.
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Not sure if he's being bullied he might be I'll find out more when I see him tomorrow. He tried bouncing a ball over a kid as she rode her bike by and ended up hitting her so she beat him up. (link)
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Hilarious, if only that'd be an end to it. On their own sitcom they'd end up married, of course! But don't repeat that.
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