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my female coworker called me her cute little desk partner???
theres this woman at my job, anyway she is a female as am I. we are both 33 ive always thought she was gay, she doesn't come off as straight 2 me..now I don't speak 2 anyone at my job...but she will make a special effort 2 make convo with me and if Im lookin at something on my comp, she'll come by me closely and just be cheesin and grinning, sometimes she'll touch my arm....and shell say what are you lookin at in this weird playful voice....or she'll peek around the corner while im at my desk and say hi....she is always extra happy 2 be around me....one day I had to use the computer by her area and she said I should be her cute little desk buddy, now there is another woman who sits at that cubicle but she wasnt there that day and I had to use that computer for something since mine was not working and no one elses computer was available. I think she is gay and has a huge crush on me and wants me in a physical sexual manner, she doesn't do this around anyone, just privately when im at my front desk...ive been hit on women before and ive been threatened by them too cuz I don't deal/like with chics....this woman's happiness is over extended around me, she loves standing near me, but she'll stay apart from the other chics at my job...and she isn't playful with my other coworkers....i had a picture on my computer with intertwined cherries, in the shape of a heart, well here comes freak, n she stood right next to me just smilin and says ummm those look good while staring at me....sometimes, she'll even give me a shytty attitude for no reason at all....while ive been hit on and bluntly approached by women, I am not gay by any means, but some people think if a woman hits on another woman then that makes the woman being hit on gay, I find that untrue....u" ....is there a way I can stop this...should I say something, or should i just leave it alone and accept the fact that women find me attractive and there's nothing I can do about it but accept it...." thanks for any advice
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Work/School Relationships?
Go chat up one of your male coworkers.
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Its not always that a female might be gay, she might be bi sexual and attracted to men and women equally. I don't know where you heard this thing about women who are hit on being gay simply because someone else is attracted to them.
If a married man did not wear a ring because of his job, and not knowing he was married until he told you he was married, you actually hit on him, would that make you a home wrecker? I hope you see that the conclusion you're so worried about, or more to the point, so very worried about what other people may think does not matter. People will think what they want. Just because they think it doesn't make it true.
So the easy solution, if you like having your personal space and she is getting too close, tell her so. You do not have to bring up the fact you are not gay as she has not told anyone there that she is. People don't usually introduce themselves at work as "Hi I'm Mary and I'm gay". That is never done.
I am a friendly person and often will pat a persons shoulder to talk to them. I did that with my cubicle mate years ago and she instantly reacted telling me that she did not like anyone getting that close into her personal space. Otherwise, she was friendly enough. If you don't like people standing too close or touching you, then telling her that you don't like it when people get too close. If however you don't mind other hetero acting people getting too close in proximity to you, then that argument won't work. You'd either have to find a way to confirm she is gay or say nothing. It would be awkward to point blank ask her if she was gay, simply because you thought so due to how she was acting around you.
Just what if this woman has a favorite cousin or sister far away and you remind her of that person? That could easily be why she feels tempted to get close to you, and not because she is gay. It seems to me with the acceptance of gender or sexual preference out in the open, that a lot of people now worry they are being hit upon by a bi or gay person. It happened to me twice. I simply thanked the female, as if it were a male who complimented me and asked me out but I wasn't interested in and added that I was not interested. So it may be best to wait until she does ask if she ever does and not worry about the day it Might happen. If asked to go out with or if you are single and date females, thank her for her interest but let her know you are not gay. End of story. It really is not a bad thing if someone asks cus how else are they supposed to know unless they ask. Not all bi or gay women go to gay bars to find a partner, actually, thats a very small percent.
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