Member Since: August 7, 2012
Answers: 1038
Last Update: August 2, 2021
Visitors: 29779
|
| |
|
I'm 20 years old. Ever since I was a very young child, I've had severe problems. I would love therapy, but I am not able to afford it. I've been diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety, panic attacks, bipolar 1, and PTSD. I was (for years) on a multitude of psychiatric medications. More recently, I decided on my own, to stop my medications (safely, I consulted my psychiatrist to help me titrate down) and I got a lot better. I feel quite a bit better that I was able to make that decision, knowing that I didn't need to depend on them anymore. I've been slowly learning how to cope and deal with my struggles more on my own, but of course it's difficult. The big things I'm struggling with now are that I've never had a job due to my problems. I'm working on my GED too. I'm working with VR (vocational rehabilitation) and they've helped me make plans to get a job and help with my GED but of course it's still hard for me. I get terrified with almost everything. I'm not giving up but it's causing a lot of stress, not only on me but the people in my life that care about me. I feel ashamed of myself that I can't do things that most other people can do easily. I always feel like I'm disappointing my loved ones. I wish they didn't need to help me so much, but I don't know what I'd do without them. I'm so so grateful to have them, but I feel so horrible not being able to help them and be there for them as they have been to me. I feel like a terrible person. I'm not sure what I can do. I don't know how to conquer my anxiety and panic attacks. I am still on a small dosage of Xanax to help a little, but its still very difficult. I wish I could get some therapy to help find the true cause of my problems, but as I mentioned earlier, financially I can't afford one. Has anyone had any similar problems? Or methods to help cope through my anxiety and stress in a healthy manner? And what would you suggest to do to help mend my relationships and be able to open up to them more so we could come to more understanding of all our situations and work together to fix it? I'm sorry this is such a long entry, but please, any advice would help immensely. And I would like to sincerely say thank you in advance to anyone willing to share any advice! (link)
| |
Hi there. You have a great understanding of your psychiatric conditions and seem to be playing a 'perfect game' in handling them. If there's anything slightly imperfect it might be that you are expecting a 'light-bulb moment' in your psyche that will facilitate the practical challenges and quell your insecurities? In fact it will tend to be the other way round. Conquering the practical obstacles of day-to-day life and beginning to realise your ambitions, aims and potential are precisely what will address the self-doubt and anxiety. That's really what Vocational therapy is all about, isn't it? You don't mysteriously 'improve' and then go out and face the challenges. It's the act of facing the challenges which bring about the improvement. Try not to look at the whole 'war'. Look at each battle in turn, complete in itself. The tactical approach rather than the strategic. What do I need to do to win THIS battle? Celebrate the victories, even small ones. It's the cumulative effect of winning each of the smaller battles which eventually turns the tide of the whole war. Stress puts any relationship to the test. You know that. Start to remove the stress, the tension and the conflict and they'll begin to heal themselves. Remember that relapse is part of recovery. You're 20 I see? Do you know, however you might feel there is something in this world that is bigger than your depression? And that thing is 'time' my friend. Keep your nerve and keep moving forwards.
|
Ok so many pastors have told me that God has a distinct job for me here on earth as well as in Heaven. So I got to thinking if my astrology signs would help me discover more about myself that I don't already know. What exactly do they mean? Please no hate. Advice is much appreciated.
Sun Sign- Aries
Moon Sign- Taurus
Rising Sign- Libra
Mid heaven- Leo (link)
| |
It's probably best to regard astrology as entertainment rather than profoundly life-influencing since there's no evidence whatsoever to even suggest it has any real effect. Having said that, much of what astrologers write regarding character traits CAN be very illuminating and make us look at ourselves in more depth than we might otherwise, and lead us to ask questions about ourselves. With useful answers. If some astrologer staes that your Rising Sign makes you tend to be 'Haedstrong and impulsive' for instance, why not hold yourself up to it and compare? ARE you a headstong and impulsive sort? If so, is that always a good thing? Maybe there are times when a more analytical and considered approach would be better? So you might get to thinking that sometimes you'd be better to stop and weigh-up a certain situation and not just rush in without thinking about it? Which you've identified as your usual reponse and you can deliberately act to compensate it. So you will indeed have learned something of use and value about yourself. But try not to get too carried away with the idea that the conjunction of the planets at the time of your birth has drawn-up some sort of 'blueprint' for your life that you must follow. Or that is is predestined. Historically, the astrologers were the 'sages'. The wise-men. Philosophers. They looked, more acutely than most at the human condition and our place in a bigger picture. The planetary alignments may not be considered of any relevance anymore. But the idea that we have a character, a personality and tendencies most certainly are valid and always will be. It could be an excellent insight into your character??
|
Hello I'm McKenzie and in the 5th Grade. I usually wear comfy clothes, laid back, ect. Which I don't mind wearing. Despite me having a ton of good dressy clothes. But every once in a while I want to look good and I guess care a little more. I'm a tomboy but I don't think it hurts too dress ok every once and a while. But the problem is if you wear comfy clothes at my school your expected to always wear them. If you wear dress clothes you are expected and so on.
And if not your mocked. I don't mind but I usually just wear my regular clothes because I get tired of hearing people say " What are you wearing "!?? .
Then laughing. Even if it was from W-Mart to Prada
Why do you think people laugh when you wear something fancier or more laid back depending?
Even if ITs for the better.? (link)
|
You're at school a lot of the time and it'll tend to be the centre of your a good deal of your friends and acquaintances. If you're known to be a bit tomboy in nature and a casual dresser then it will probably turn-over their preconceived ideas about you when you appear looking glam and sexy. Many people don't really like their preconceptions overturned. They will often respond with a bit of a light mock or sarcastic comment. Sometimes the comments can be quite hurtful. Maybe until now clothes were either your 'casuals' to knock about in or 'best dresses'. Likewise, your friends. As you get that bit older and more mature then your definition of 'best dress' changes. It's not a cute 'party frock' any more. It's more sophisticated attire. Cool. Sexy. Chic. Prada, maybe...good taste you've got!! Of course even the most fashion conscious young woman is not going to dress in slinky cuts, fabrics and labels all day every day. There'll be times when smart daywear is in order. And they'll be times when you just want to wear comfy and casual stuff, and it's the most appropriate stuff to wear. I get the feeling that fashion and style is going to play a big part in your life? Basically, if it looks good, feels good, fits well and you look good in it....and it's approporiate to the time/occasion, you'll never look 'wrong'. Casual, tomboy, pretty and cute, smart and businesslike, drop-dead sexy, flirty...the looks are all there to dip in and out of as the mood takes you and the occasion calls for. You might surprise a few people, turn a few heads, attract attention, a comment or two. Isn't that what fashion and style are all about??
Stop worrying mate...you'll do! X
ps. I don't really hold with that saying about how we should never judge by appearance. Many of the people we encounter are very casual acquaintances or even complete strangers. Precisely what HAVE they GOT to judge you on other than how you look?? Work it!!
|
|
Someone just texted me saying i have a blood clot in my leg and if anything happens I want you to know I love you how do i respond and comfort her (link)
| |
Definitely tell her you love her too and offer her any help or support she might want (and that you are able to give, naturally...it's no good offering stuff you can't). A good chat can be a real tonic when someone is undergoing medical treatment. How does she feel? Is she happy about how the doctors are handling her case? Stuff like that. Main thing is that you give out as many positive comments and vibes as possible. Let her talk about the condition if she wants to. If she wants to moan about some aspect of the treatment, sympathise/empathise. Try not to let it become a series of 'Oh it must be awful.' type comments. The patient staying as positive as possible during treatment has significant advantages in their response to the treatment in many cases. Clots can of course progress to organs with devastating results. I'd hazard a guess she'll be having to inject a blood-thinning agent, maybe herself at home? Would she like you there as moral support when she has to? There's also usually a good deal of ultrasound (or similar) scanning which has to be done at a hospital. Could you go along with her to appointments if there's nobody else available? Sitting alone waiting for a scan (and its result) can be wretchedly miserable and traumatic. Having a friend there is a real bonus. If she's being kept in hospital then visits are nice of course. The phrase 'If anything happens...' is a clear sign that she's not feeling confident of her prospects and is the mindset you want to get her out of. The actual probability of the success of the treatment might be very high, the perceived probability varies with our mood. If the consultant says there's a 90 percent chance of reovery and you're feeling low you will tend convince yourself you're going to be one of the ten percent if you're feeling down. So try and keep her mood as up as you can.
|
I apologize in advance, my ordering of events and questions is far cry from perfect. But I try to get necessary information in with the question in proximity. I hope that is an understandable action.
I "met" this girl roughly a year and a half ago, and in the beginning it was a generally good chatting, maybe mild flirting ( I still deny being a flirt, or a good one.) She would send me images of herself(With clothing, always), all the random emoticon, usually pertaining to affection, and similar things. ( Which also occurs now) I had gained feelings for her, but not anything too serious. Then at some point, a lull occurred, and we didn't talk for 5 months.
( This would be a fair time to point out, She is in Romania, and I in America. So this has never been anything physical, solely words and emotion. That sounds cheesy..)
Now, fast forwarding to say the past few weeks, we talk daily most of the time. usually it is me to initiate it, but whenever we start to talk she engages. Now, sometimes she will read what I say, but never reply. This can vary from a serious question to how are you. And after about a day(or less) I will ask what happened and she always gives me a reason, and she is never upset with me saying something again. Is this normal for someone to repeatedly not answer a message for so long?
Now, to focus on the subject a bit more, very recently she had a realization of how much I had grown to care for her. And how she never knew how much I really meant it.(She went through the brief "oh my I didn't know" stage.) In the time since we began speaking again, I had grown a much greater affinity for her, despite the not answering, and the interlacing moments of where she barely replied when she did. Does this seem logical to happen?
Now, the thing that sort of takes the cake, is she made this realization, 5 days after having a new boyfriend.(I was unaware prior.) so, all this time before, she still would show affection, or say some of the ridiculous pet names we'd give another. This raises a question: Does this mean she'd be flirtatious with other guys had we kinda gotten together?(Emotional/status manner, since the distance.) Would this be a girl I should stay interested in? - While in a not so great moment of disagreement, I had asked if she would like me to go, stop talking with her, and she had answered no, that I am special and she doesn't want to lose touch again. I like to believe there is sincerity in that, and to take comfort in it. But not all of her stories have added up. But any of those have mostly been trivial. And I suppose not every single little thing should be answered. I wonder if I am fooling myself to look past those or not.
So, after this extremely long description, I'd like to know your input. Should I keep caring and talking with this girl? Should I let so many things bother me?(Knowing the person you care for has a boyfriend that can and is probably actively putting his hands on her, among other things, is somewhat unsettling. As an example.) Or maybe should I move on?
Simultaneously, I don't want to actively be a bar in her new relationship, as much as that could potentially please me. I don't want to be that type of guy. Things like I see her more active on the social media we talk on, but whenever I say something, it's isn't quickly acknowledged, so I can make the assumption she is talking with him. So I don't want to butt in and become an annoyance while she is talking with him.(Only an assumption)
I feel overall this may be too far, or maybe I am just willing to admit it really does bother me.
Thanks in advance for input! And hopefully not excessive insult with profanity. I am sincere in my questions, and sincerely unsure what to do.
Brian 19/M
Her 17/F (link)
|
Good question mate. I reckon it pretty much hinges on whether there is any real intent on either side to realise your relationship in person at some time? Most of what you describe would indeed be totally unacceptable in a physical relationship. Either it would have to stop, or your relationship would have to end, of course. An actual physical relationship with a guy she lives near is, I'm afraid going to out-gun a long-distance, online relationship for most healthy young women of seventeen. You're obviously being burned, and chewed-up. You really like her, and what guy wouldn't be the same if the girl he was keen on was 'with another guy' and remiss in answering his communications all the time? To my mind you've got to end all the emotional turbulence you're feeling, one way or another. Is the online relationship just a bit of fun/distraction to her, or could there be a solid, real relationship here at sometime? Only way you'll find out is by asking her directly. If she said she would choose YOU if it was more practically realistic, would and could you be able to do at least your half (or more) in removing the obstacle of distance? If you get the required positives, then it's 'game on' as they say! Otherwise, you'll either have to view the online/electronic relationship as a harmless sort of distraction and a bit of fun yourself, and not let the fact that she has a flesh-and-blood boyfriend get under your skin. Or if that's just not an option for you, take the decision to end the narrative/communications yourself. You're showing a lot of compassion and real understanding in the way you've worded this question. I might point out that there will surely be many young women a lot closer to home who would love this kind of thought and sensitivity in a guy. I know. That's not what you really want to hear right now is it? SHE'S the one who's filling your thoughts. But keep it in mind mate, eh?? Right now, take a deep breath and roll the dice. You're up in the air all the time now, hanging. That's never a great place to be. Act soon. It'll end the anguish one way or the other. Best of luck mate!
ps. Kind of hate to say it, but not everything on the worldwide web is always what it seems. What you do NOT do is get sweet-talked into any sort of bank transfers or mailing cash for 'visits' (or the like) that will never happen. Probably not relevant, but be careful.
|
I am McKenzie and I have a few questions so I apologize for it being so lengthy.
So this kid in our class ( A Guy) was sniffing markers ( sharpies), Snorting smarties and candy. Smelling hand sanitizer. Evidently he got high off of this. He got a really bad head ache like a migraine and he was about to cry.
Which he isn't one to cry. At first I thought it was just normal he always gets headaches ( I didn't know about the high at the time). Then I heard. He walked funny and was acting drunk. I guess about 30-45 minutes later he felt better and we all took a restroom break. He went and he was talking to someone in the other stall. Which I know cuz the kid in the stall told me the next part. He was laughing and then he stopped. Left the stall crying his eyes out. He told his guy friend something. Long story short he peed blood.
BTW I heard it could be a side effect for type 2 diabetes so
He's healthy skinny tall and eats all fruits and veggies
Next question can a teacher make fun of you?
We we're taking a test and basically the teacher called us Lesbos. Not an insult but I'm not and she said it out loud.
Would she get fired if staff knew?
Next
A teacher was making fun of gays , is this approved for teachers too do?
Thanks (link)
| |
Mixed bag of questions here. You can indeed get short terms highs, followed by lows from inhaling many very familiar, seemingly safe items and fluids. And gasses (such as butane in lighters and refil cannisters). Markers and many hand sanitizers will contain known sustances, certainly. The substances are known as aromatics (not meaning they smell nice but that they give of vapour at normal temperature which can be 'sniffed'). You don't need me to tell you that this is a stupid, crap idea do you? Long-term use of some may permanently damage your respiratory system. Some may produce a lethal 'hit' the first (and indeed last!) time they're inhaled. There's no way of telling how any will affect an individual. I mean a greatly increased heartrate on a 'high' might not kill YOU, but what if there was a minor heart weakness in ME (that i was not even aware of) which it ruthlessly exposed and gave me a fatal heart attack?? And so on. The substances can also cause big, irreversible damage to internal organs, including the brain. There's a never-ending debate in medicine about 'what causes cancer?' but many of these substances contain known carcinogens. I'm not saying the 'scent' of a marker (used as a marker) is dangerous to your health in any way. Splitting one open, putting it in a paper bag and deeply and repeatedly inhaling the vapour is quite another matter. (And not really what they're meant for is it?. It's not solvents and stuff that are dangerous, it's the ABUSE of them. Unburnt petrol (gasoline) gives off benzine. Not something you want to deeply inhale into your lungs! We all buy heaven knows how many gallons a year. But we don't sniff the bloody stuff day in day out. We put it in our car fuel tanks and put the cap on). That I wouldn't go near it sniffing, ever. Eating a lot of fruit is not really a sign of diabetes (fruit contains high sugar levels). I'm quite surprised that a guy who 'eats healthy' is risking his life and health by 'sniffing' though, aren't you? Seems an odd combination? I'm not aware that peeing blood is a routine problem associated with diabetes. Peeing blood is BAD NEWS. Really bad news. He should have that investigated. And tell the doctor exactly WHAT he has been sniffing as well as he can remember. Could be essential in the diagnosis. A kidney infection (usually easy to cure) can cause traces of blood in urine. But so can some extremely serious physical problems. More than a trace is NEVER acceptable even once. I'd be shocked if I peed blood, so would anyone I should think, so his tearful exit from the stall is understandable. Regarding teachers, well I'm getting on a bit and live in the UK. When I was at school there'd be plenty of verbal banter from teachers, and nobody thought much of it and we generally 'took it on the chin' and all had a laugh about it. Political Correctness in this respect was not really known then. I appreciate things are very different now. If students made complaints they might well get the teachers involved reprimanded (or worse). They are not supposed to comment on sexual orientation or ridicule values and beliefs. How broadminded/mature are YOU? What would you say was the 'spirit' in which the comments were made? Lighthearted and informal, bit of fun? Or malicious and hurtful? A joke about homosexuality is not the same as a teacher professing 'Homosexuality is wrong and evil' in a formal way. I'd base my response on that question. I would not like to see a teacher reprimanded for a lighthearted 'off the record' comment that didn't offend anyone present at the time.
|
|
I've been a straight A student all my life but have gotten Bs on my social studies report card 3 times. People all talk about my grades and rub it in my face that i got a single B. People have said that I'm a dumb wast of air. Although I'm smart and get good grades most of the time, I'm made fun of for 89s in social studies. I pay attention in class and study but I cant get an A. Help? (link)
| |
Like the man said....a B isn't exactly a dismal failure mate, is it? Maybe social studies (I don't actually have a clue what that entails in todays curriculum) just isn't your 'thing'? It's unlikely anyone is going to be top dog at every subject. I reckon there's a big slice of envy here too. You've got a tag as the 'A for everything' student, you've got a B all of a sudden, it's annoyed YOU and they know it. So they're deliberately 'pushing your button' about it to get a reaction and a bit of cheap entertainment. So don't give it to them! What sort of grades is the teasing ringleader getting overall, I wonder? Nothing like yours I bet! Don't be down on yourself. All A's and a single 89 percent B? Waste of air....wouldn't say that. That's bloody amazing! BTW...I was a straight A man at university. Always on line for a 'first' (and did indeed get one). There was one module I could NOT get my head around, despite big effort. Scraped a C- on the end paper, and boy did I get some stick from the rest when that came out!! Sort of "Thought you were me perfect? C-? That's a crap sort of mark. You're on the skids now!" Get the picture? Don't worry about it mate. It's a bit of envy, a bit of natural teasing, a bit of the way we like to see people knocked off their throne. (Not that a B is much of a fall for YOU. You know, I'd have snapped-up 89 percent for that paper the minute I'd read the question and been delighted. It still haunts me mate. I think C- was generous for the twaddle I actually wrote...I though I was destined for a re-take on that one!!). I'm prepared to bet that if you add your grades and take the average it's still A overall anyway. You can drop one amongst many. If you insist on calling 89 percent a 'drop'!
|
I am setting up an appointment with a gyno ASAP - but I'm really confused and upset and am hoping someone can shed some light on this.
For the past 3 weeks I have been dealing with what I *thought* was a severe yeast infection. I tend to get them a lot, and they typically go away on their own, but this one was especially bad so I took Diflucan. What was unusual was that I had some pain when urinating, but I heard that this can occur with a yeast infection, so I didn't think anything of it.
It appeared to improve thanks to the Diflucan, and then I had my period, which ended today. Today, in the shower, I noticed that it was especially painful to wash "down there" and upon closer examination I noticed a bunch of teeny, tiny, almost invisible little red bumps all the way down my inner labia. They hurt to the touch and I assume urine getting on them was why it hurt to pee.
I have had unprotected sex with two different people - both long term, long distance boyfriends. The first boyfriend was tested (or so he claims) for all STDs and came back negative. We only had unprotected sex on one occasion, a week after which I also experienced some pain and what felt like sores to me. My gyno told me it was BV and a yeast infection and said she didn't see any sores. Sure enough, after using the BV treatment all of my symptoms went away.
The second boyfriend and I had unprotected sex with some frequency (I am on birth control), and I am also the first person he has ever had unprotected sex with. I haven't had sex with anyone since, except for oral two months ago, and that person didn't present with any sores on the mouth or anything like that.
Could this be herpes? (link)
|
The doctor will make the diagnosis, but don't immediately assume the worst. It's responding to yeast infection treatment, which is a fair indication that it is one. They can be extremely difficult to shake-off, and having one recur quickly (sometimes over and over again) is very far from unusual. The stuff is basically 'in you' all the time, it's an excess of it that causes the problem. Normally your body keeps it in check...just enough and no more. Quite often your general health is a key player in getting rid of it. So a general health check might be good, especially if you're feeling a bit physically 'low'. I'm not saying it's an indicator of an undiagnosed illness, don't panic! Just a bit 'run down'. A case of helpful diet changes (avoiding some foods, maybe just for now), vitamin supplements....that sort of stuff. If it's herpes, well about 50 perecent of women will be treated for it at some time by the age of 30. It's extremely 'catching' and it's not a bad statement about the sexual health and hygiene of you or your partner. So don't get too upset. Best of luck. Both are eminently treatable. Neither are particularly pleasant, true! They can be very painful and irritating. Neither pose a sinister or long-term effect to your life, or quality of life. But both have an annoying habit of popping up again. Especially yeast infections. The culprit in a yeast infection loves sugar. Too much sugar makes sugar in your pee. Which feeds the bloody stuff! First thing to cut out is sugar-laden soft drinks then? You'll find lots of practical support and advice like this on line about kicking yeast infections for good, not just while you're using the medication...and having them appear again after you stop. They are REALLY common.
ps meant to add (then forgot!) that nail whitlows and cold sores are also herpes of course, so it's all well-known territory and straightforward to cure. I really would have a chat about your general condition with a doctor if you get keep getting repeated yeast infections though. And the end of winter is a time when we do tend to get a bit lower in general condition. Work (or any other) stress can also be a factor. Definitely have a look at some websites and discussion forums. Even changing from some (highly scented and artificial) soap or shower gel to a 'natural' unscented or dermatologically tested one can be the break you need.
|
how to know emplyee weakness.
I am from India.Advice please... (link)
| |
Not much to go on but I'll have a go. If weakness means lack of competence at doing the job you might have to look at extra training for them. Were they qualified to an acceptable level when you hired them? If that's a bit borderline then you have to review your procedure for vetting applicants to make sure it does not happen again. Possibly you have promoted the employee one step above their ability? Training is the key again, and give them a probabtionary period with an appraisal at the end. You might have to rethink their position if they are simply out of their depth. Weakness in time keeping, attendance, sickness? First two, mention it informally if they are otherwise good workers. If it doesn't improve go through the usual procedure of warnings (verbal, first written...and so on). Sickness, you might want to question them informally about some condition they may have before you get too heavy. Is it temporary? Will it be ongoing? Remember psychiatic issues can play a huge part in how people function. Ask if there's any problem they want to talk about (informally at first) that might be making it difficult for them to get to work, on time and stay focussed. If it's a question of trust you need to identify whether thay are deliberately going against company policy, or they are not sufficiently aware of it/trained? Training, or disciplinary action needed as appropriate here. If you believe they are guilty of gross misconduct or theft of company resources then it's grounds for summary dismissal. But don't make accusations you can't prove, or prove yet. A departmet-wide tightening of procedure might stop it, and is sometimes better than a direct approach. Let's them know you know, if you see what I mean. The whole thing comes under the umbrella of Human Resources and it's a big and often tricky issue in any company. Hope you've got some ideas anyway? Broadly speaking sometimes it's matter of the employee lacking the motivation and training to be 'good' or bringing outside problems to work. Sometimes they are just 'bad employees' who looked OK at the recruitment stage but were not all they seemed. Mostly, employees DO want to be reasonably good at their job, take their paycheck in return and not have HR hassles on their back all the time. Best of luck.
|
|
When I go to the doctor I want to know what they ask because if they are going to tell my mom I play with myself I am not going for any reason until I live on my own. Please help! (link)
| |
I doubt they would ever ask unless it was absolutely specific to the problem you approached them about. It's possible that some girls or guys could irritate or even slightly damage their genitals with some ill-advised practice when masturbating. Curiosity might lead a girl to vaginally insert some completely inappropriate object for instance and made herself very sore...I'm sure many doctors have come across it at some time, aren't you? In which case, yes a frank discussion about masturbating will be on the menu, along eith treatment. And yes, a doctor has every right to ask if you are sexually active in some cases. Diagnosing possible sexually transmitted infections or pregnancy for instance (both impossible if you are not, so the doc will want to know whether to rule them out or include them in). I should say doctors assume that girls and guys at or after puberty are masturbating, if they think about it at all. We ALL did/do! If it has no bearing whatsoever on the complaint you're seeing the doctor about then it won't eneter their mind. And he/she won't ask you. If by any chance he/she does need to know then just say 'yes I am'. I PROMISE you the doctor will not be horrified and shocked. Will the doctor issue a random letter or a make a phone call to your parents telling them you're masturbating the minute you leave the surgery. No, they will not. In fact parents are well aware that their children masturbate, but it's not something that's usually discussed. It's not 'wrong' in any way, but it IS very private. Chatting about it with same sex mates might be acceptable, but in honesty few people discuss it at length with parents. We need to look after our health, that includes sexual health. For goodness sake don't put off a trip to a doctor for fear of him/her asking if you masturbate or the possibility of your mum finding out!! The doctor won't even ask unless it's absolutely key to a diagnosis, and your parents will not be shocked or horrified at you masturbating in any case. There's no age of consent issues by the way. If you know what it is, and you're doing it and enjoying it then it's OK to be doing it and enjoying it.
|
I know people on here are unlikely to be medical professionals, but I just wanted some ideas as to what this could be:
When I'm out and about on a very sunny day and I close my eyes to protect them from the extreme light, I experience mini fits. They only last seconds, but the more I close my eyes in situations like this, the more mini fits I get.
If I have like 5 or more of such fits I tend to, for about ten seconds...forget what I'm doing, where I am, etc...
The solutions I have found is to try not to close my eyes when its extra sunny. But I always have to experience a mini fit to remember to close my eyes to not get anymore-if that makes sense.
Normally it happens when I'm in a car or on a bus.
I'm 19 and have experienced this as long as I can remember. So has my twin.
Any suggestions what it could be? (link)
| |
I imagine the fact that your twin shares it (so you're not alone) coupled with the fact that it's been happenning as long as you can remember may have embedded the idea that it's merely a nuisance. You're curious to know why, but it can't be particulalry threatening? That would be perfectly understandable, you're hardly likely to go into a panic over something that's being going on 19 years. But it's definitely time to describe these symptoms and experiences to a doctor. I've no idea what it could be. Clearly you've developed normally despite it. Medics, and especially teachers would have picked-up on anything which looked abnormal or 'different' or held you back in a behavioural/social or academic sense. Not to mention your parents. I think you've kept it to yourself quite long enough. Make an appointment with your doc and get to the bottom of it. Okay?
|
|
Lately I've been feeling really gloomy. I've asked lots of people online for advice, and they suggest I might be depressed. I'm kinda swapping back and forth with the idea, and I've taken test online and they say Im depressed. The thing is, even when I feel well, I just about always prefer depressing stories, movies, songs, anything depressing. I' even seem to enjoy it after I experience pain. My mom was even speaking to me a few months ago how that wasn't normal. I know I've had depression in the past for personal reasons, and I know it was severe then, and I know what I'm feeling now isn't nothing like what is was then. I haven't experienced any kind of tragic event, and this has been going on all week. Is there some way I could find out for sure if I have depression without some multiple test or going off to see a professional? I try too keep this kind of thing from my parents too. Anything I can do besides that? (link)
| |
Experiencing tragic and 'sad' situations and environments via the media of the performing arts (music, theatre, tv, movies etc) and/or literature is not in itself an indication of depression. It's as old as literature and the arts themselves. We 'experience' it in a safe and controlled way. As a third-party. We empathise and sympathise with the characters,but we do not feel the same level of trauma and gut-wrenching misery that they are experiencing within the framework of the fictional piece. That's WHY we have weepy-movies, tragic novels, tragic opera, sad songs etc etc. It's a way of connecting with the darker and dramatic corners of the human condition, without actually visiting them in person. I can appreciate that parents would not like to see their child dwelling on depressing material. They'd of course much rather see you more 'up-beat' and lively and visibly enjoying yourself. You seem to be familiar with diagnosed depression already? Aware that a truthfully answered 'test' can indicate depression (this is a standard procedure with doctors in the UK as a first line of identifying depression). But you have said that 'this time' it's not so severe? You may well be using the 'depressing stories' as a way of processing your thoughts. And as we've said, this is pretty much the entire reason for the existence of such material. OK. I'm assuming you've found an authentic test online, not some crackpot checklist with no provenence? Does it have values you can attach for 'Severity' and 'Frequency' (eg some days in the last month, most days, every day...?). If so, take it again. But really force yourself to answer them AS IF YOU WERE GOING TO HAND IT TO YOUR DOCTOR, and he/she was going to act on it. If you're still rating up near 'Severely Depressed' go an see your doctor straight away. If you are rating much lower then it might well be something you can work through yourself? If there's a similar test for something with a name like 'General Anxiety Disordrers' take that too. The symptoms of anxiety and depression frequently overlap. But unlike clinical depression, anxiety disorders are often relieved by identifying the sources of your anxiety and trying to resolve, or at least understand them. Clinical depression is a harder nut to crack, as you are no doubt aware?
|
I know I'm 11 but I have a business. And Many people say it's too stressful and stuff. Which it is but I need people to realize I'm sticking with my decision to keep the business.
And as you can understand employee are hard to find.
And tips to help me come across professional (link)
|
Hey! Saw a few of your posts re. operating a business. Yeah, it is stressful. You'll never have that "clock-in...work your hours...clock-out then go home and forget about it" experience which is what 'work' is to many people. Promotion is not optional, especially in a service industry. Consider it essential. The customer has to know you're there. A potential customer looking for their first experience will also go to one with a higher profile. You could be brilliant, but if nobody knows you're there...they won't come to you. Look after your existing 'customer-base' to make sure THEY don't even go looking elsewhere. They automatically come back to YOU. Resolve disputes quickly. Accept that sometimes you'll have to take a hit (resolving the dispute means you hardly break-even on that transaction, maybe take a loss) in order to maintain their custom and avoid possibly losing some 'word of mouth' reputation you've built-up. Your reputation is PRICELESS. Actually, if it gets about that you've resolved a complaint fast and to the customers complete satisfaction then it can ADD to your reputation. Day-to-day though you should try to build a workflow which minimises cock-ups, disputes and complaints from arising at all. Compete on quality, not just cost. Looks tempting to under-cut the opposition to 'get more work'. But aggressive discounting eventually devalues your service or product, and long-term that's no good to you at all. If your promoting activity gets more work than you can handle act quick to get assistance. Don't promise things you haven't a hope of fulfilling to the required standard and in the agreed time, or there WILL be customer disputes. Lots of them. Regarding staff, unless you're a complete 'one man band' of a business, you will have employees. Problems with employees can often become a bigger headache than your service/product itself, business infrastructure and objectives, and the customers. Just the way it is I'm afraid. The lazy worker might respond well to encoragement and responsisbilty? Try it before you dismiss their services? There's a 'carrot-and-stick' issue in workforce management. It's like, Do you get the mule to work harder by rewarding it with carrots when it does? Or beating it with a stick when it does NOT? Choose wisely...you have to use the right approach on the right person. Hope there's a few thoughts in here about the perils and stresses of your own business and being professional. The rewards if you make a going concern of it can be very pleasent indeed, so it's not all bad news. Finally, if you want to come across as serious to people whose support you need a well presented Business Plan is a good asset. There are lots of templates out there to get you started. Look at 'small business plan' or it'll look terrifying. (I'm assuming you're not planning to operate your own airline or something just yet!) If you're looking for financial input you've got to be totally realistic about what share of the market you can reasonably be expected to achieve and what it's worth a year. It's called a Projection. If you haven't really done one, try it. A lot of people don't and they get in trouble. They lose their own money, and they're unlikley to have attracted any other investors! Whatever you sell it's got to earn more than it costs to put out there, and as soon as possible. Good Luck! X
ps. Few practical tips. Selling online? Have something built in to your website where potential customers can contact you with any questions. You'll be a bit of an 'unknown quantity' at first, they often like to speak before they hand over the cash. If you can get some feedback functionality ( after-sale, customers give you a rating, and perhaps write a short review or comments) that's great. People seem to like this. Obviously you DO answer pre-sale questions, truthfully. Not delete them unread, or answer with fibs! Could existing retailers show and/or distribute your stuff? Like, if you made jewellery would any local private beauty salons be prepared to join in for a percentage of whatever they sell? I'm afraid it's no good approaching 'big name' stores here, the store manager will not be allowed to do anything like this even if he/she thought they would sell well. They do not have the authority to agree to it (the companies have strict supplier contracts). Small stores can do exactly what the owner wants. Even just a printed advertisement of your services in a window is raising your public profile.
|
|
How to prevent diabetes and which therapy should i use to get rid of diabetes? (link)
| |
Seems a bit of a confused message here? If you've been diagnosed as diabetic you can't actually 'get rid of it'. It's a lifetime condition. It's controlled, never 'cured'. The way it is controlled depends on the type and severity. Your diet, oral medication (tablets) and injections of insulin are the three 'players'. Exercise/lifestyle also plays a part. None of the medication is available over the counter without prescription. You have to work with your doctor to determine the best way of controlling it for YOU. What you're 'preventing' is a tendency for the amount of sugar in your blood to get too high. But avoiding lowering it too much either. Finding YOUR way will involve a bit of initial 'trial and error' by you and your doctor (with close monitoring via blood tests etc) so it's way beyond the scope of a website Q&A/discussion to suggest methods. Once you have YOUR method determined it's up to you to implement it day to day.
|
Lately I've been trying to find out who I am. I feel like I can never settle on one thing. I'm a sixteen year old female, and I'm having trouble finding out who the 'real' me is. There are days I feel emo, and only want black, and there are days I feel totally with the world and want to wear white with flowers in my hair, and there are days I go wild and try to look sexy, and there are days I feel like a tomboy and can't even stand to look at pink, and there are days I feel girly and want to do my hair up and put on something cute and girly. I'm having trouble finding out who I am. I tried taking a personality test online, but basically the answer is yes and no to all of them. Since that's clearly out of the question, how do I find out what it is that I really like, and who the real me is? I'm sure many would call these 'teenage phases' but I don't know what it is I like and can't decide on anything. Any ideas?
(link)
| |
It's a phase, but NOT exclusive to teenagers! To suddenly doubt or question your identity, feel an urge to define/redefine or reinvent ourselves can occur at any age, at any time and regrdless of our previous achievements and status. The end result of this searching may be quite a minor, cosmetic thing. Sometimes it's a complete 'turnaround' in values and lifestyle...the lot. When we deliberately impose a new order it will usually tend to roughly 'fit' or 'not fit'. The best fit evolves over time. And nothing says today's best fit is written in stone and beyond change. Maybe YOUR identity is 'transcendental'. You're capricious and not predictable. Pink and girly today. Dramatic blacks when you feel dramatic. Sexy and flirty tomorrow? Nothing wrong with that, mate. Nothing at all. You sound a bit too much of an individual free-thinker to get much out of online personality tests. Some follow a known path. Some strike out and make their own path. Some discover themselves, some create themselves. You sound like a bit of a creator on your own path to me mate. Don't let a style define you, define your own style!! X
|
|
girl's your first handjob (link)
| |
That's a short and mysterious question. A handjob just means holding your boyfriend's erect penis in your hand and moving it up and down the length of it until he ejaculates (it will sort of twitch and jump rhythmically and a few 'spurts' of semen are released). There's no risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections. There's not really anything to 'go wrong'. Who with? Well you don't want to do it with just some random guy. It should be a guy you're in a relationship with, obviously because it's a pretty intimate thing to do. Don't want to waste it on just any old guy, eh? When? Whenever you feel comfortable about doing it and actually WANT to do it. If you're not then don't do it until you are. He shouldn't be pressuring you into it if you don't really want to yet. Doing it just because all your mates seem to be doing it and talking about it is not really a great motive. You need to want to do it for yourself. Lots (most, I might even fairly assume) of younger couples do it long before they even think about having full sex. It's a safer and very enjoyable thing to do. Much less pressure and worry than having sex. He'll enjoy it and it will relieve lots of sexual tension. You should enjoy 'making your boyfriend cum' and feel pleased with yourself too. If you're thinking 'yuk...that was gross and I hated it' then it was too soon. So maybe re-evaluate things and take a step back in what you do sexually with your boyfriend at the moment? The guy you have your first handjob with might not be the one you first have sex with at all. That's no problem either. Hope you get something from my reply. Drop a line to me, or open to the whole group if it'll help. Bit more information WOULD be good though!
|
|
can you seriously date a girl who said they had a mmf three some in the past? (link)
| |
Of course you can if you like her and she likes you. If she asks if she can have one with you and another male in the present or future, and you really couldn't go for it in a million years (for whatever reason) then she'll have to either give up the idea, or you'll separate and she'll have to pursue it with another boyfriend. Having sex with two guys together is one of those things that consenting adults try out and indulge in sometimes. It's not immoral, unethical or illegal if they are adults in full consent. It doesn't mean that the woman is likley to be unfaithful and cheat on you with other guys in your relationship. It was a deliberate choice. She wanted to have sex with two guys together, and both they guys were OK with it. she didn't 'cheat' on anyone. If it's all a case of peer group pressure (your mates know about her activity, and might goad and tease you with it?) then it's a question of YOU being able to 'handle it' or not. Personally, I wouldn't give a damn if I liked her. I'd never let other people's gossip and opinions influence MY life and choices.
|
|
What is the difference? (link)
| |
Type 1 means you produce no insulin and have to inject a little daily. There's often an inherent/genetic factor. But it can suddenly develop in people who have zero family history. It's believed a flu virus might be one cause it (tests show presence of the virus at some time in many people who have suddenly become diabetic type 1).The gist is for some reason your pancreas stops making insulin. It's not true that you have to be born type 1. If you do get this type it comes on suddenly. Type 2 means you either produce some (but not enough) insulin, or it's produced but your system can't use it properly. This is the type where diet and drugs are often used to control blood glucose and not the daily injection. It tends to come on slowly, and as such it can be hard to notice. Diet and tablets alone will never control type 1. The bodily effect is the same for either type. You get too much sugar in your blood.
|
|
im a lover of coffee and caffeine. One day I tried to consume as much caffeine as possible so that I would have energy that day. I had one energy bar, a cream soda, and two cups of coffee to get a lot of caffeine. After all that, I was really energized for a while, but that I felt like crashing and was talking sluggish and walking funny. After that, I ended up having some emotional problems. Got irritated and started crying for no reason. I know this happens when consuming so much caffeine, but I was just curious to know what the caffeine did to me to cause me to be an emotional wreck. I looked on the Internet to try to find answers, but all I could find was that it can leave you with anxiety. Anyone know the answer? (link)
|
Temporary highs are caused by the raised caffeine and probably sugar from energy bars and soda. They're always in this form, a spike and then a dip because your body equalises levels. Has various ways of doing this. A lot of caffeine or sugar may cause you to want a pee for instance, to get the excess 'flushed out' of your body. Such acute downers (tearful, sluggish and bad headaches, crashing) tend to afflict people who suddenly stop. For example, one may over tiime get used to drinking far too many cups of coffee every day, decide one day it's not a great idea and cut down drastically or completely give it up. These side effects make them realise how hooked on it they've become. Bad headaches, craving for the stuff and a feeling that someone has pulled your power plug out! Yep...I have been there, but it's not unique to me by any means. It happens all reformed coffee-hogs!! You get over it and back to normal if you stick it out and stay away from coffee. Your reaction does seem a bit acute for two shots of coffee. I'd say try again (at a time when it's not going to be a problem to you) and if you get such a big spike and fall I'd assume you're very intolerant of too much caffeine and elect not to be a coffee drinker. Isolate it from the sugary stuff when you try, 'sugar-rushes' have similar effects and the caffeine will greatly amplify them. You want to identify whether it's too much coffee, too much sugar or just the combination of both so you know which to cut out or cut down. I'd avoid some of the fashionable energy drinks completely. A can may have the same caffeine as eight coffees and the equivalent of 12 (or more!) spoonfuls of sugar. No kidding! You might be bouncing off the walls if you drink this stuff! If you love coffee then decaff might be the only solution. You get the taste but not the buzz.
ps I think I played the cross-adiction card and for the last fifteen years or so I've drunk prolific amounts of tea. You don't get the caffeine buzz and subsequent dips with tea so I'm OK about being a tea-addict.
|
My wife and I have been married for 2 years. I have recently noticed 3 red flags and don't know how to approach the subject without accusing her of anything.
1) She has become very protective of her phone. She brings it everywhere (when she used to leave it everywhere), and even flips the screen away from me if it's sitting on the table. She is texting somebody (I know it's a much older coworker), and will angle the phone away from me so I can't see anything.
2) She turned off "Find my Friends." We used it moreso so I don't text her "where are you" if I can see she's on her way home from work.
3) She's been having ever-frequent work happy hours. She used to have about 1 per month, but she has had a total of 8 this month and they usually go later than normal.
My problem with everything is nothing has changed at home. She's still very friendly to me, initiate's kisses or "I Love You's," and other things. My feeling is that if something were going on, she wouldn't be acting normal at home.
I want to bring it up with her, but don't know how without making her mad or think I don't trust her. However I've been losing sleep over it and am terrified that this is a major issue. Any help would be great. (link)
| |
Changes in someones previoulsy fairly predictable and established routines and communications habits and activity are often an indication that they are indeed doing something which they do not wish to disclose I'm afraid. More betraying than changes in behaviour when you are with them, which is relatively easy to conceal or deflect. Chiefly because if it WAS a case of infidelity then however good one is a bluffing and re-directing awkward questions etc then the two people absolutely must be in communication with each other and there must be times when they are actually 'together'. In a way the argument against an affair of 'acting normal at home' defeats itself purely because of the 'acting' reference. Your physical movements and communications are impossible to edit and airbrush out. I'd assume there is some concealment going on here from what you describe. But not all concealment entails a romantic involvement. And as you say, accusations with nothing to base them on except a fairly common trajectory (re. movements and communications) is not a good idea. Which only really leaves us with 'monitoring the situation' and 'wait and see' must be the best suggestion. Hopefully the situation does not involve infidelity at all. Possibly if it does nothing that actually constitutes infedilty has 'happened yet'. Or further down the scale it may only be brief, which is far from ideal of course but not as bad as a proper emotional connection which entails a complete separation. The options are somewhat limited in that if a person does decide to 'stray' from their partner then they are going to, however you handle it and as such we remain powerless to prevent it however much intelligence we may have gathered and processed. Clearly you know each other's character and understand each other, and so if you believe a direct confrontation wil break the trust in the relationship, and likely make her 'mad' then it's best avoided for now. The older co-worker is possibly 'prime suspect'. But if the working hours are merely a blind then it could be anyone, anywhere that these hours are spent with and may not include any work colleague in any way. Are you positive the text exchanges she does not want you to read or see are destined for this guy? Are geo-location functions suddenly disabled to cover her movements, or has something made her think they are intrusive and a bad idea? (I think they are, for instance and would never enable them to anyone). It all could be something or nothing, which I agree is not a great 'answer'. But the difference between steaming-in and forcing a confrontation, or playing a waiting game will not actually change the outcome. It will only change the timing of the outcome. Which is between her and whatever/whoever is claiming those hours and is the subject of the concealed messages. Best wishes. Might be nothing to do with other guys?
|
|