about

Hey kids! My name is Amanda, but call me Manders. I'm a psychology/neuroscience/biology student. Throw me questions and I'll throw you an answer. :)

advice

is there anyway i can get a guy to know that i like him without being obnoxiously flirty? im really shy so flirting isnt really an option for me. i rate high! i dont want to just come out and say that i do like him because he could just be like "i dont like you that way" and i couldnt handle something like that

I'm shy too, so I understand what you're going through. Well, flirting in a subtle way is easy. Just talk to him, laugh at his jokes... things like that. Ask what he's interested in. Talk about stuff you already know he's interested in. Then go on from there.

About the whole not handling rejection thing, everyone is gonna be rejected sometimes. Sometimes you get lucky and someone feels the same way you do. Sometimes you get rejected. You're gonna go through pain before you find your true love. Everyone goes through it. I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, don't hesitate to ask!
*Manders*

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I don't really have a specific question I just need some advice on what to do because I have no idea.

Background Info:
Jon and I have known each other and been best friends since we were 4. Our fathers own a law firm together so we're together a lot, obviously. I've only had one real relationship. I've had many boyfriends but only one serious one. Same with him. We're both 17.

Early Jan.:
My parents threw a big block party which Jon and I both attended. I wasn't feeling well that night so we left the street (were the party was) and went to my backyard and just hung out. Everything was going fine until he told me that he wanted us to try to be more than "just friends". I was completely blown away because it came out of no where. At the time, I didn't see him in that way so I let him down. It was weird between us for a while but eventually, things got back to normal. Around early Feb. he met a girl who he claims is "absolutely amazing" and they started dating. I was fine with it.

Now, my real problem:
About a month ago I started to realize that I want to be more than friends and that I do like him. But, he now has a girlfriend in the picture, so there's a problem. I'm not the type to break up a happy couple so I tried to forget about it. But, I couldn't. A friend told me to talk to him about it (she though he still might feel the same way). So, I did and it went horrible. I don't think I've ever known a guy that ever reacted the way he did. All he said was, "I asked you before and you said no. Now you're too F*king late. I like Lauren a lot...you should have F*king said something sooner I can't F*king believe you" and then just stormed off.

That happened 4 days ago and I haven't had the nerve to talk to him since. I don't know what to do. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks

First of all, I admire you for not trying to break them up. That's a good thing, since trying to break it up would make the situation messy. Plus the fact that you wouldn't do it means that you're considerate. :-) Now anyway, about the situation. Let Jon spend some time alone to cool off. Then go back to him and talk. He may still stay with his current girlfriend, but at least you'll have patched things up with him. If you have any more Questions don't hesitate to ask!
*Manders*

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Hey. I'm 13 years old and in 8th grade at the moment. Right now I'm registering for high school classes for next year. I'm definitely taking Latin 1. Since there aren't very many honors classes for freshmans, I think I want to take Spanish 1 also (it's not a honors class. I want to take it because I think I can use it a lot in the real world or w/e). My question is, do you think I should take 2 languages?

Thanks.

It might be really confusing if you take both... so I suggest taking one or the other.
*Manders*

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I'm 16 and have never kissed, dated, or even gone out with a guy. IS this really wierd? I'm not ugly, and i'm thin. But I am very shy. IS there any way i can get over this. I really would like to have a boyfriend soon. I want one really bad!!

That is NOT weird at all. I'm shy too. The only way I can think of to get over the shyness is to just let loose. If you want to talk to a guy, just go over to him and introduce yourself and ask something about him (ex.- I heard you're on the lacrosse team. What position do you play?) and take it from there. Just think of the positive. If something doesn't go right, just shrug it off. And if he's mean then he isn't worth it anyway! I hope I helped and if you have any more questions, feel free to ask.
*Manders*

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ok this girl that i like ive heard she said that im clingy.. well im not really sure what she means. and im not sure what to do about it. so my question is what can i do not to be clingy and still have her like interested in me and what you think clingy means, like try to explain it?! thanks soo much!

When this girl says "clingy," she probably means that you hang around her too much. To not be clingy, just don't talk to her as much and give her a bit of space. Hope I helped! If you want anymore help, just ask!
*Manders*

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ok so i was being really stupid but i was talking on the phone and trying to straighten my hair at the same time when i accidentally burnt myself right below my chin!! it looks so bad, so does anyone know how to cover it up or get it not to scar!! please help!

Use a powder or concealer that matches your skin tone... that may not fully cover it up, but it will hide it a bit.
About the scar thing... they do have creams for scars if you happen to get one. I'm not sure if it's true, but you can put vaseline on the burn to prevent it from scarring. (I am not positive if it's true, but it's worth a shot). I hope I helped! If you need any more help, just ask!

*Manders*

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A friend of mine likes my boyfriend. But she is going out with his best friend(we can call him Lee) She says she loves Lee but then tells other people she Loves my boyfriend and just likes Lee.. shes ubsessed with my boyfriend and flirts with him constantly in front of me.. how do i make her realize shes dating Lee not my boyfriend

If this girl is really your friend, she wouldn't pursue your boyfriend, now would she? Talk to her about it and ask her to stop. If she doesn't, I would reconsider your friendship. Hope I helped!

*Manders*

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I have no clue what to get my boyfriend for his birthday, he likes sports, and xbox games, I dont know if he would like jewelry. Can anyone please help me?

A shirt is always a safe choice. If he's the skater type, try Pacsun or Hot Topic. If he's athletic, try Abercrombie&Fitch, American Eagle, or Aeropostale. If he's the laid-back "boy-next-door" type, try Old Navy or Gap. I hope I helped!
*Manders*

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Alright i have a few friends that are awesome to hang out with and everything but now they are telling me that they cut...not always but once in a while i guess i was too scared to really ask...and now i dont know what to do...i dont want to make it serious because i dont want one of my friends to hate me...but they might just call me stupid and stuff because i never dont anything like that. i'm very scared and i dont know what to do. if you can please help me because i dont know if i can handle seeing them tomorrow without breaking down in tears because i'm so scared. Thank you so much.

If I were you, I would tell an adult. Your parents, a teacher, guidance counselor, anybody that can help. Your friends need professional help. I'm not gonna lie: Your friends might get mad. But if you tell somebody, you might have just saved their life. Cutting is a serious problem that could be fatal, since it could be caused by depression. And your friends are most likely going through some problems right now, so you should also talk to them about it and ask if anything's wrong.

I admire you for coming out and asking for advice. You're a great friend to these people. I hope I helped you!

*Manders*

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