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My name is Elly and I am 18 years old. I live in Michigan and I graduated High School in '07. I'm currently attending a great college, but I'm home for the summer. It's too nice outside to sit on the computer all day, so I might not be as active on here as I would like.I guess a good way to describe me is experienced. I've discovered a lot about life and I can't wait to discover more... while having fun at the same time of course! ...BUT, like everyone, I have experienced things in life that I rather wish I hadn't. And I also feel that those bad experiences qualify me to help others with this column.
I have been in a serious relationship for over two and a half years now. I personally know that love is a difficult thing to nurture. It takes a lot of work. Life is NOT a fairytale where two people can simply love each other and everything will just fall into place. It doesn't work like that in the real world.
People on Advicenators are starting to disappoint me. Everyone says "ooh I want to help! I've experienced EVERYTHING!" Yet, I can't tell you how many questions I see with answers like "you could have googled that" or "we're not going to do your homework" or "I'm so sick of 'wow does he like me?!' questions." I used to sort of be like that, but now I realize how hypocritical that is. If I know the answer to a question, I will answer to the best of my ability without making you feel stupid for asking it in the first place. Advicenators is going to turn into a pretty nasty place if people just keep brushing off questions like that.
Rate or don't rate. I really don't care. But don't give me a 1 just because I tell you something you don't want to hear. Go to your mom for advice if you want sugarcoated answers.
I can give excellent advice on:
relationships/sex
friendship
family issues
anything about animals (i worked at a vet for several years)
college
advice
OK So, me and my friend were discussing this and i just wanted some other opinions. If your a virgin, and you got raped, would you still be a virgin? Cause it's not really your choice and stuff, it's a forced thing.
Thanks.
You could say you were a virgin mentally, but you wouldn't be a virgin physically. Sex is sex; forced or not.
what's a good brand to dye your hair for the first time with? i was thinking garnier frutise, but idk. don't sayyy go to a salon because i'm not gonna pay a ton of money while my friend can do it who's dyed her hair many times and is god at it. my hair is like a medium brown with faded half grown out dark blonde/light brownish highlights. which is why i want to dye my hair in the first place. i want it to either be darker, have a tinyy bit of a red tone, or a little lighter. nothing too drastic.
thanks
Have you considered using a dye that washes out after 28 shampoos? Since it's your first time, you might not want to go as far as using a permanent color. Plus, if you don't like it, it will wash out. My favorite brand is Natural Instincts. It's really good for your hair and makes it REALLY shiny.
A little more than a year ago a friend was diagnosed with cancer. I decided to be optimistic and treated it like it wasn't a big deal. She would go through some unpleasant chemo and then it would be over.
We have kind of a teasing relationship so I made a point of not treating her any differently, while other friends were more sympathetic and altered plans to suit her condition.
Now I've learned that treatments didn't work and they give her about a year. I feel so bad about the way I treated her that I haven't been able to face her since. How can I make amends?
Everyone deals with illness in a different way. If at all, treating her the same probably makes her feel better. You are her friend and the fact that you are willing to treat her the same will make her feel less scared.
Instead of sitting by her and being sad and crying, do something fun together. Sitting and worrying about her death will only make her worried and frustrated. Take the time to take her to her favorite restaurant, take her to the park or the movies, have a picnic together, color together, do anything!
Whatever you do, try not to dwell on the the inevitable future. Make her last year a fun one and make sure she knows that she is loved. Thats what friends do.
Deepest sympathies,
sugarplum07
DO YOU LIKE HARRY POTTER? what is the new book that just came out about & was snape the half blood prince?
Yes snape is the half-blood prince
yes i love harry potter
anyone who doesn't should quit life lol
the new book that just came out is the final book in the series of seven. i'm only half-way through it but i can basically tell you that it's about harry, ron, and hermoine setting out to destroy voldemort's horcruxes
it's amazing so far!
Before reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, I wanted to reread Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. However, my brother lost it. Can anyone brief me on the 6th book? Aside from the major points, do you think there are any minor parts I should be reminded of before reading the 7th book?
Basically you should remember that you learn a lot about Snape in Book Six. And you learn quite a bit about Voldemort as well. Here's a quick recap:
1) Snape becomes the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.
2) The new potion's master is the person that Voldemort learned about horcruxes from. (you find this out late in the novel).
3) Snape IS "the half blood prince" and harry finds a potion's book with that name on it and he learns dark spells from the book
4) harry goes with dumbledore to destroy a horcrux
5) snape murders dumbledore; some believe he only did it because draco's mother made him swear to help draco kill dumbledore if draco could't do it
6) dumbledore tells harry he must find the other horcruxes before voldemort can get any stronger
7) ron and hermoine vow to drop out of hogwarts with harry to help him find and destroy the horcruxes
8) not a big deal, but tonks and lupin get together
9) when dumbledore and harry go to find the horcrux, they find a fake one in it's place; it's a locket with the initials "R.A.B." with a note saying that the original will be destroyed.
10) harry and ginny date for awhile
I skipped around a bit, but those are the main important parts. I'm already 7 chapters into the 7th book and so far I'm not confused.
ok here it goes i am 15/f and well i think i could be pregnant i don't know for sure but i have no clue what i would do if i found out for sure that is all i think about lately but what would i do my family well we already have family problems the way it is right now and a baby would just ruin my family and i wouldn't be able to go to school where i go now because i couldn't dare listen to what people have to say about it i don't know what to do and how to cope with it um lets see if i was pregnant abortion is out of the question and adoption would be way to hard to do maybe i should just take a pregnancy test but i don't know how to get one without anyone asking questions
Don't be scared to go buy a pregnancy test. All you have to do is walk up to the pharmacy and ask them to help you in choosing a test. Remember, the people are there to help you... NOT judge you. Try not to jump to conclusions until you know FOR SURE.
Once you take the pregnancy test, if it comes out positive, call your doctor's office and explain the situation. They will arrange to have a private doctor's appointment and your parents won't have to know. Once you meet with the doctor and find out 100% whether or not you are pregnant, they will help discuss your options with you.
I know you are scared right now, but you have to think positive. Even if you were pregnant and you think you're parents will freak, you'd be surprised how things like these pull families together. You know you made a mistake and you're going to fix it.
Hey guys
17/m
Here's the deal.
I like this girl. I mean, i like her a fair bit. But i'm not sure if she likes me back or not. I mean, recently she has been saying in quizzes (i know not the greatest source of all knowledge in the world) that she isn't sure if she fancies someone. And its just the timing is kind of coincidental. So I was just wondering what you guys think I should do?
See, i don't want to say anything and potentially ruin what could be a good friendship, but then again if i don't take the chance i probably never will.
So yeah, I was just wondering what you guys thing I should do.
You know what they say, no guts no glory.
There is a way to see if she likes you without jeopardizing your friendship. Call her up out of the blue one night and tell her you're really bored. Then, casually ask her to go see a movie or go bowling. That way, it isn't an official date, yet you two can still have fun together.
Casually drop hints that you think she's a really great girl and you'd like to get to know her better, you know what I mean?
Try to spend more time with her and flirt a little bit. You'll know if she likes you back if she flirts.
I say take a chance and ask her out. One little date couldn't possibly ruin a friendship.
I need some serious help.
Okay, I'm 17/m and was hit by cupids arrow about a year and a half ago. However, recently my gf, that I'm still completely in love with, has gone out of town and out of reach (3 hour drive with no car working full time at a restaurant) for the entire summer.
Now, there's this friend of mine. She's very cute in her own way and because of mine and her past relationship were really flirty when were by each other. The thing is I can't control myself when I'm close to her and I go completely nuts (out of my mind) and do things I would never even think about with any other woman (except my gf). I guess what I'm trying to ask is, how do I keep myself from having to make that decision without hurting anyone.
P.S. I'm still extremely in love with my gf as far as I've told her I want a family with her.
Thank you for all your help.
I think what you're asking is "How do I stop myself from cheating?"
If that's the case, then STAY AWAY from that girl! If you're scared you'll get carried away and do something you'll regret later, then don't even put yourself in the situation to do so. If you ever feel tempted to do something you shouldn't, stop and think "Would this hurt my girlfriend? The girl I love with all my heart?"
You can still be friends with the girl as long as you can control yourself. If not, just stay away.
If you love your girlfriend as much as you say, this wouldn't be such a big deal. Stop and think about what makes YOU happy. If being with your current girlfriend isn't making you completely happy, change wouldn't be such a bad thing.
I don't know what to do. I'm not a religess and that makes me a bad Jew. I want to be a good Jew. But i am also gay. I don't know how to be a good Jew again.
I suggest you have some cake.
:)
me and my husband have been married for two years and we use to have sex all the time but now he hardly kisses me what am I doing wrong?
Well I've never been married, but my guess would be that he is simply getting too comfortable with you. I've observed that in most marriages, the sex drive gradually goes down. It's not exactly something you yourself are doing wrong, it could just be that your husband is getting bored.
Make sure the two of you have at least one nice, romantic evening together each month. Go out to a fancy dinner and a movie to keep the romance flaring. All you have to do is spice things up a bit.
Talk to your husband about your concerns. Talk with each other about your wants and needs in the marriage.
okay so i had sex like a week ago for the 1st time and before i did my partner ate me out and i liked it alot and i gave him a bj and that was fine too like i like that but when he gave me sex i didnt like it, i had my eyes opened and looked at his walls and it didn;t appeal to me..for some reason i feel like ill like anal sex more but does it mean b/c i didnt like intercourse im not straight? i dont like girls i mean ive been eaten out by a girl and i liked it but i dont like girls what does this all mean? was it just that i didnt like this guy? who by the way is my ex. we were being fbs but screw that now
Most girls don't enjoy intercourse because it's simply not as arousing as stimulating the clitoris. It's completely normal and I promise you can still be straight if you don't enjoy intercourse.
It's entirely possible that you didn't enjoy sex just because you didn't like the guy. There are lots of reasons, but I'm certain the main reason is that you need to have your clitoris stimulated to enjoy sex.
If you're interested, there are lots of things you can try that can make sex more enjoyable for you. You can leave a message in my inbox if you want and I'll give you some websites.
So I have a boyfriend that I have been with for over 3 months.4 months on the 9th.And since about the first week or 2 of our relationship of dating, he's fingered me.Seems like everytime we get together, he wants to do that.No matter where we are.It's not that it's all that bad, But I don't want it all the time you know.Sometimes I just wanna hold him or kiss him or whatever.Or he even likes to you know, feel me up and whatever.It's not that I don't like it, it's just kind of over whelming you know?And yes I still am a virgin, But he's not.It's not that I don't want to, it's just I think it's too early in the relationship to consider losing it.And I don't think I'm ready quite yet.I know he wants it, But he's not forcing it or anything.Anyways, everytime I try something new with him, it seems like he expects it more if that makes sense.Recently he's been really wanting a BJ,But I've been hesistant and so far I've done it twice to him, But only because I'm returning the favor and satisfying him.I don't want to bore him you know?He's older so he's more experienced and what not , but I don't know.Sometimes I feel like I'm not up to his level anymore.Maybe I'm way over my head.I mean we don't fight.I tend to whine sometimes , But it's nothing serious.I'm just curious , should I worry or change something.I don't know if I doing anything wrong or whatever.Is it too soon to think I might be in love.I can't stop thinking about him, I always want to be with him or talk to him and always concerned to what he's doing and if he's okay.I just want him to be happy as well as myself.I always put people before myself.I really don't want to lose him though...any inputs?
Maybe all you need to do is stop focusing on the physical aspects of your relationship. Instead of giving him an opportunity to do those things, do something fun instead. Go outside and play badmitton. Go to the park and play frisbee. Go swimming. Go for a bike ride. It would be a great idea to talk to him about all this. Assure him that things between you physically are pretty good, but you'd like to focus on doing other things together as well.
He obviously has a high sex drive and if you don't feel comfortable satisfying his urges, that's okay. You haven't been together that long. You should be taking this time to really get to know each other and worry about physical things later. I really feel that once you two actually start having fun together and learning more about each other, the physical stuff will just come naturally.
I'm starting highschool in august, and i dont know anyone or anything about the school. And I know this one girl who is a few years older than me and she goes to a diff highschool, but she said its like "uncool" to carry a backpack. She said she usually carries like a big messenger bag type thing. Is this true? And do i need a backpack on the first day? thanks.
You need to worry about what's functional and useful to you... not what's "cool." No one cares whether or not you have a backpack. You should focus on the things you NEED to do well in high school.
Obviously you'll need some type of bag to carry your stuff in. Whether it's a backpack or messenger bag doesn't matter. Just choose whichever is most convienient to carry your things. You will most likely have a locker, so it's not like you'll have to carry around the bag the whole day.
You won't need a backpack on the first day. Just bring one notebook, one folder, and one pencil. The first day is simply filling out forms and getting seating charts so you won't need much else.
Good luck!
When you take out a tampon, do you pull it straight out or at an angle? How hard do you pull?
Bascially all you have to do is relax all your muscles and gently pull on the string. Pulling at an angle would probably allow it to some out smoother. Make sure you're relaxed and it should exit just fine.
Well, I started the pill just over a week ago now.
Microgynon 30 - Which is the normal pill first given to most as its the most trusted and suitable.
Ive taken the pill correctly everyday at 5:30 but I seem to be spotting blood even tho this pill is ''spose to make your periods lighter & decrease the length which you have a period''
Also, the last couple of days, Ive cooked a pizza for dinner , I start eating it and I instantly feel sick, but I carry on eating without even realising, as if my minds telling me eat and my stomachs telling me dont eat.
Ive woken up with bad stomach aches, and have had them since I started the pill. I dont get headaches or anything like that. I dont particuarly want to phone the doctors incase im over worrying. Im a very paranoid person and make a cut seem like death.
Could someone please give me an idea as to whether this is problem enough to ring the doctors? I dont want any ''I think'' ''Maybe'', if your not sure then dont answer my question!
Many thanks :)
Spotting is completely normal when you first begin taking birth control. So is nausea. All the things you described are mere symptoms of the drug. I'd carry on taking it as usual for at least a month and if nothing changes, I would call your doctor and ask for a different prescription.
In order to soothe your stomach aches, be sure to never take the pill on an empty stomach. When your stomach is upset, have a plain piece of bread or some crackers.
Your body is just adjusting to all the hormone changes the pill is causing.
My boyfriend .. I don't him not to get his hopes high. I'm on birth control and have been for months. I told him I wasn't going to have sex with him for 4 months or so.. even then, there would be no guarantees that I would say yes. He understands this. I THINK he will ask in a month or two.
I'll have sex when I'm ready. I won't be pressured into it either. I refuse to have sex already in a 5th month relationship. we are rather sexual at times... but that's not what our whole relationship is about.
so i'm just wondering..
Your first time experiences? I'm rather small in that area and i'm afraid that it will feel like he's trying to break/TEAR me. I've seen his dick and it seems so big in my eyes and i can't IMAGINE his head going in at all! When he fingers me, when he tries to enter first, it somewhat hurts but once he's inside.. it doesn't.
Is there enough room inside for a penis to stretch? or would it be a noticeable tight feeling INSIDE?
Any ways to make make me feel a bit comfortable? pillows? lube? yes, i already told him a condom is a MUST or he's getting nothing.
I'm not going to lie to you, the first few times can really be painful. The most important thing is to have him go slow and give your body time to stretch and adjust to having a penis in there.
Lube might help with making it easier to get his penis in there, but it won't exactly make it less painful. Really the best thing to do is to take it slow and give yourself time to adjust.
The first few times you have sex, you will be extremely tight. You might want to try mounting him the first few times you have sex so you can steadly lower yourself onto him at a pace you are comfortable with.
Try not to think too much about the pain and you should be fine. You'll adjust to it within a few tries.
ok, I was talking to the guy i really really like last night. and im pretty sure he likes me back, we flirt alot, and have stupid arguments about who is more "special" haha, he always tells me im really special and that Im more special than he could ever be. but I deny it and tell him he is just as wonderful. so as we were talking and he was telling me that he smiles so much when he talks to me, and he doesn't think hes ever smiled as much has he does when he talks to me :) it made me so happy, and I told him that he makes me smile more, and that he makes me blush and everything. and then he was like well if you smile this much talking to me, we will have to hang out and do something exciting and see how much we can get you to smile :), did he ask me out??? Im not sure were like really good friends, and im not sure if he means just me or him? or other people as well? do you think he asked me out on a date??
Honestly I think that was just his way of saying he wants to spend more time with you because he wants to get to know you better. I agree with the other answers, guys can be pretty tricky. He obviously seems to like you a lot, so he's porbably working up to asking you out.
my boyfriend and i were thinking that we should have a song that's "our song". i've been thinking about what it could be, but i keep drawing a blank. do you have any suggestions? it should be a love song and it would be nice if it's r&b. if you think a song could be a song to remind us about each other, i would love it.
thanks.
"Your Guardian Angel" by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
"I Need You" by Leanne Rimes
"That's Where It Is" by Carrie Underwood
"Far Away" by Nickelback
"Wonderwall" by Oasis
"If Everyone Cared" by Nickelback
"Only Hope" by Mandy Moore
"Amazed" by Lonestar
"Moved By You" by Lifehouse
There are mine and my boyfriend's personal favorites. I hope you like them!
im shy, quiet, & i dont really talk to people who im not friends with. so one of my biggest problems is making friends. whenever my friends and i hang out with guys, im always ignored. i dont wanna be a whore or anything but just to talk to people. id say all of my friends are ALOT prettier than me (and dont tell me that 'your sure thats not true' cause it is lol)
for example, i was with friend A hanging out at someones house the other night. there were two really hot guys, and guess who they fall for without even knowing her? friend A! at first im just like whatever but then every guy, even the not hot ones were all over her. and here i am chillin all quiet. then i just ignored it cause it happens all the time but then one of the weirdest guys there started talking to me. then i felt like scum. lol.
can i get some tips on how to make friends, flirt, or just not be ignored? thanks in advance!
Why not just try to join in the conversation? Don't allow yourself to be ignored. Tell a funny joke you know. If there's a guy there you don't know, ask what school he goes to. Just stick with the friends you came with and join in the conversations.
If you sit in the corner, act timid, and allow yourself to be ignored, no one is going to want to approach you. But if you have conversations with people and act confident, you'll get a lot more attention.
Once you start coming out of your shell and start having simple conversations with people, if the guys still don't give you attention, then who needs them? Who says the only guys in the world are the ones your friends hang out with?
Instead of sitting at a party where you feel uncomfortable and like "scum," go out and do something fun and meet people that way. Join a club or sport. Get a job. There's lots of ways to meet new people in the environment of your choice.
i'm 5'2" my boyfriend is 5'7-8" he's 7 1/2" and i have really short legs... he doesn't like to do all the work so he puts me on top sometimes, and i just feel soo lost. i can't get myself up high enough to do a good job, and in past relationships i've never had to do anything. i'm trying everything i can to do better.. i've read everything.. is there anyone with the same problems?
thank you,
beth
Try leaning back a little bit and rest your hands on his knees (or thighs... which ever is more comfortable) and then rock yourself forward and backward.
You two could also try sitting upward, facing each other. Support your arms behind you and rest your legs over his and sort of push yourself to him.
Hope that helps!