I'm a woman in Texas. I'm married and have a school-aged child. I have a medical background. I'm quite liberal, socially. I love helping people with medical, parenting, and social questions. Don't ask me about tech stuff or finances, because I need advice on those things myself!
Gender: Female
Location: Texas
Age: 34
Member Since: December 17, 2006
Answers: 795
Last Update: September 2, 2007
Visitors: 50090
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Xenolan
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i feel so uncomfortable when i make out because my mouth gets veeerrrrryyyy dry, and my tongue feels really rough when this happens. like i have very little saliva in my mouth.
most of the time i do have saliva in my mouth, but its like really watery (not like kinda thick and almost mucus-y like, so it coats your tongue and makes it slippery. hopefully this makes sense)
i try to drink as much water as possible, but i think i still might be a little dehydrated. i am also on a swim team and my mouth is exposed to chlorine. i know that it can dry out skin, but what about your tongue? like my tongue always feels really rough after practice.
any ideas?
thanks (link)
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Of course you should drink water, and try to make it non-chlorinated. ;) Something else that might be helpful, though, is a mouthwash you can get at WalMart or places like that. It's specifically for dry mouth and it helps. It's called Oasis. If it's a continuing problem, ask your doctor or dentist at your next appointment. But this Oasis mouthwash really does help me. You can get a free sample sent to you via mail at walmart.com.
Sabine
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okay, I just read this article on anorexia, and now I'm worried I'm going anorexic!! I'm 5"9 and a half and 152 pounds, and I used to eat a lot but lately I've been cutting back so I can lose weight (I walk an hour every day).
I've cut my portions back by about half and instead of eating A LOT of high calorie stuff as snacks/etc i eat healthy low calorie stuff..but now I'm really anal about what i put into my body and etc..and sometimes I'll feel really dizzy inbetween 8 am and 11 am because i eat at 6am and dont have lunch till 11.
I don't even LOOK anorexic, so its not like I'm getting harrassed for it or anything..I'm just worried Im in danger of becoming one because i HATE way-too-skinny people, IMO they look sick and diseased, and I would hate to become anorexic, because in most cases that's losing control (i heard it can be genetic too) and i hate to lose control =P
i only want to lose weight till my BMI hits 19-20 (atm it's 22.4 according to some website), which would be when I'm 135-140 pounds.
so..am i in danger of becoming anorexic? (link)
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No. You're probably not anorexic. Anorexia is about more than restricting food. A lot of them have distorted body image, meaning that they look at their emaciated bodies and see huge fat bulges and terrible flaws. They are perfectionists in just about everything. They have a tendency to overwork themselves either with schoolwork, jobs, exercise, or all. I can see you're also a perfectionist, but you are not anorexic. It's great that you know where your BMI is now and you know what you want it to be. I would suggest, though, that you keep it 19 or above. 18 is underweight.
I had a roommate who was anorexic. She would restrict her daily calories to 200-300. She rode her bike everywhere. She worked 3 jobs while going to school. She was about 5' nothing, but she shopped in the children's department because she could not find any clothes in the adult section to fit her. She was hospitalized several times because she was on the brink of starvation. I don't think you're even headed in this direction as long as you have reasonable portions of healthy food.
Best wishes,
Sabine
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16/f
first of all, guys may not want to read this question.
so swimsuit season is coming and i shaved my, umm, area down under. i have before i didnt get much razor burn at all but this time it is HORRIBLE! two days since i have shaved and i just noticed the ENTIRE area is red and bumpy and i have seen it before but this time is bad! it looks like a million spider bites, it hurts and itches! how do i get rid of these bumps? it looks like a freaking disease but i know it isn't i never had sex or anything.
please answer fast this is starting to scare me! (link)
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There's some 'no bumps' stuff you can get at a grocery store, near the Skintimate and things like that. I haven't used that, but it might help. Some things I'd try are 1)Warm washcloth compresses 2) Unscented lotion 3) over-the-counter cortisone cream (keep it away from your introitus (opening) and off the inner lips 4) Keep clean otherwise, using Vagisil wipes or just warm water.
A good thing to know is that razor quality DOES count. I use Mach III (even though it's a men's razor). I will never again use a disposable. They do a horrible job and leave me looking butchered.
Sabine
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How can you tell if you are in love with someone?
Thanks!
(link)
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I think it's the same way you can tell when you're hungry. You feel it. It's undeniable. Once you have felt it, you don't forget. It's an incredible high.
Studies show that there are physical changes our bodies undergo when we're in love. Those changes last about a year and then it's on to the deeper kind of love that endures.
Hope I've helped.
Sabine
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ew. so at night like when I go and lye down in bed, my palms and bottoms of my feet get all sweaty and its weird. I'm not hot im actually kinda cold, but its just my palms and feet. What can I do to stop this? Its annoying even like typing on the computer right now sucks cause im all sweaty. *sigh* (link)
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'Night sweats' are a medical condition that can indicate several things (menopause, tuberculosis, leukemia, thyroid problems) or nothing at all. It's best to see a doctor.
I'm sorry you're going through this. Bummer.
Sabine
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Does anyone know of a number that I can call to ask a question? Or does anybody know if I can have it so that I can't get calls from users who block their numbers? I usually don't mine prank calls but someone recently took it a little to far and I need to get it to stop right now because they've called me the past two nights and I'm fed up with it. Any solutions? I think I know who it is but I called them and they acted like they were asleep so I don't know if it was really them or not. (link)
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Go to www.verizonwireless.com and click on Contact Us. You will be prompted to enter your zip code, etc. That should give you some numbers.
Good luck with the crank calls.
:(
Sabine
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so theres this kid. he's pretty much a slut. he's dated like every girl ive ever met. but there's a reason for that; he's really adorable/funny/witty/charming. for the past couple years ive thought he was a really despicable person but within the past three months we've been hanging out like nonstop. he picks me up and calls me every day. hes my friend now, but i like him. a lot. he flirts constantly and asks me out like every other day. when i say no he pretends to get really sad and he'll start laughing and trying to hug me and he'll be like "whyyyy?" i WANT to say yes but ive kept myself from doing it. he makes me so happy and sometimes all i want to do is kiss him. i mean, how bad of an idea is this? should i just go for it? keep in mind that this kid gets a new girlfriend like every month. but he is so amazing. i don't know how much longer i can keep saying no. (link)
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Yikes. Dating a new girl every month is not slutty. It's capricious. It's experimenting. It's being a normal guy, and it's age-appropriate. There's nothing wrong with dating lots of other people. There becomes a problem when you're in a relationship with a lot of different people at the same time and they don't know it and think you're exclusive. There is something wrong with having sex with a lot of people at once or in quick succession. That's slutty. I don't know why a lot of teens on this board seem to think that they should all be in long-term relationships. You are or should be all full-time students. You should have college ahead of you, hopefully, and a lot of years in which to find the right person. Why settle down with one person while you are a teen? If you are really that into each other, then that's fine, but if you're not, you can still date casually without being a slut!
There's my rant of the day and it's not even 1:00 AM.
I say go for this charming boy. Just don't give him more intimacy than the relationship calls for. Have fun, for heaven's sake!
Sabine
Your feedback : "actually, that's your opinion. he only dates the girls because they refuse to have sex with him otherwise, and once he gets what he wants he breaks up with them. i'm sorry if i'm too young, but i DO want a long-term relationship and i'm not interested in fooling around. but thanks for the input."
Yes. Of course that's my opinion. That's what you asked for. That's what advice is. :) Knowing that he's not only dating all those girls, but also having sex with them leads me down a slightly different path. You should be honest with him that you really like him and let him know that you're in it for the long-haul if it works out. I think you should just flat-out say that you're not having sex with him until you're sure he's committed to the relationship. You are in control of when/if you have sex with him. Just going out with him does not mean you have to do it. Again, just have fun and let things progress naturally.
I'm not suggesting that you "fool around." I just think that one shouldn't necessarily equate dating with sex. However, in this case, you seem pretty sure that the two are connected for this guy. So you're right to be careful! I'm sorry that I miscommunicated my position.
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i submitted this question once already but it like didn't go through so i fixed it up a bit..
alright well..
one of my friends has very strict parents. so they were looking at her search history and found her myspace. they also found mine.
i'm not aloud to have a myspace. my parents made it very clear that if i had one, i'd be in deep trouble. i wouldnt be allowed on the computer for a long time and when i am allowed to my parents would watch my every move. so on AIM, i cant talk to anyone about private stuff.
i deleted my account already but i dont know what to do. my friends dad said hes going to tell my parents. her dad is going to say he saw it a few days ago so there's no hiding that i actually did have one.
i really don't know what to do. i don't want to get in trouble and loose my computer rights. last resort would be to come clean but i don't want to have to do that. i need to get out of this situation. i really need help, and FAST!! please, does anyone have any advice?
thank you sooooooooooooooo much. you dont know how incredibly bad i need advice. (link)
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Okay. Your parents forbid you to do something due to safety concerns. As you say, they made it very clear. You know the consequences going into this. You did it anyway and now you have been caught?
Suck it up, take it like a man or woman, and DON'T call the other kid's parents liars if you don't want to be banned from your friend's house. You knew the risks and it's time to pay the consequences. Whether or not Myspace is actually as dangerous as your parents think is beside the point. If you wanted to argue that it was safe, the time to do that was before you made a page. You deliberately defied your parents and you should face the consequences not because you made a myspace page, but because you intentionally went behind their backs and did something they specifically forbade. If I were your parent, I'd follow through with the promised punishment and tell you not to even speak with me about myspace again for at least 6 mo to a year. You did the crime, now you gotta do the time.
Sabine
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Do you remember when I told you about Marjorie the coworker who gives bad advice well she did it again she is very hostile. She told me that I should not have been a witness to the conversation Tania and Tanias boss had with Kathy. Marjorie would have told them no way is she going to get involved. Tania is my boss as well. How can I say no to my boss when she said she really needed me to be a witness to the conversation. (Here are some things Marjorie has said;:Margie (Marjorie lives and works about an hour from me(we work for the same company but different locations).We mostly talk on the phone but got together three times.I was telling Marjorie that in the department I work in the manager frowns if one goes next door to get something to eat or drink when it isnt your lunch hour and the coworkers in my department decided we may chip in & buy a coffee maker.Marjorie said Oh I think you should just buy one for yourself and if the people you work with start in with you that they want to make coffee from your coffee maker you should tell them well I have to check with the big boss. (Why would I do that. That is a good way to alienate all of my coworkers who I like). When my former boss from the same company wanted me to quit because he wanted his old secretary to come back tried to make my life a living hell, and in addition to making my life a living hell the exboss told me that either my job would go part-time or downsized Marjorie and she said to me oh you should ask him when your last day is. (Could you imagine if I asked him that is like saying ok i am ready to be fired). Marjorie does not like the idea of bosses (or exbosses) asking about her private life so when her boss and my ex boss asked what we did one of the times she and I got together she told them we went to a bar and I danced with a lampshade on my head (even though this was not true). (link)
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There's no saying why Marjorie is so hostile. You will encounter hostile, bitter people in nearly every workplace for the rest of your life. There is usually at least one unhappy person in every situation. I had to learn by experience not to let that person's issues become my own. I could be her friend, but if she requested some change or something, she needed to ask for it on her own. I could not make her agenda mine (provided I could do my work the way things were). It could be that Marjorie doesn't feel she's being paid well. It could be that she doesn't like the job. It could be that she's been screwed over by a previous employer. It could be that she has a horrible life outside of work and is lonely and/or miserable. It could be that she's simply a negative person. I think it's really that she feels that your boss is too restrictive and she thinks you need to stand up for yourself and show disdain for the workplace to your co-workers. That is likely to get you fired.
I think I'd just smile at Marjorie's bad advice and do what I think is correct. You can just tell her that you needed to witness that conversation and that you hope she'll understand that it was something you were required to do. Let her know that you need your job and you're going to do what you can to keep it. She may not agree, but you can't be bucking the boss like she apparently feels is appropriate. Regarding the lampshade comment, if she does something like that again, if it were me and I were present, I'd just say "Oh, come on, Marjorie. Don't be silly. That was really YOU dancing with the lampshade." That way the person asking knows that s/he is getting a lighthearted joke rather than the truth and you get out of making your co-worker feel uncomfortable. You can also make up other things to say, like oh, yeah, we did that right after we did the louge down the Matterhorn. Again, people will get a chuckle out of it and know it's complete farce. If they really want to know, then you will have to decide whether to tell them the truth - we went to a movie and talked about how much we hate working here (or whatever you really did).
Handle Marjorie carefully. She is a casual friend and it's good to have friends, but not if they are encouraging you to do things that could cost you your job.
Sabine
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i'm 15/f and i get my hair dyed blonde frequently. like it would be normal, it wouldn't fall out or anything. well recently i got my hair dyed auburn and ever since then my hair falls out. like in the shower i'll scrub my hair and i'll find clumps of it in my hand. what do i do?! i'm freaking out and it looks so thin and flat (usually its very voluminous)
thanks (link)
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Actually, I'm going to tell you this: any dyeing or overprocessing can cause your hair to break off, but it doesn't usually fall out in clumps and the roots are not attached.
If you have bald spots from hair falling out or if the hair comes out with the roots attached (and is not breaking off), you need to see your family doctor. You could be experiencing just problems from dyeing your hair or you could be having problems with your thyroid or symptoms of diseases such as lupus.
Sabine
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There's not much more I can take.
Well my boyfriend (almost 10 months.) and I aren't doing very well anymore. It's just we are very extremly close and since I went back to school because we don't go to the same school, he does cyber school well since September things have kinda changed because he is EXTREMLY jealous. I am too, I know what it's like but he doesn't have contact with anyone anymore. Pretty much the reason he did cyber school was me. Well i'm 14 -- 8th grade (should be in 9th.) and he's 17 -- senior, so he's pretty much done. He want's everything to be about him. It already is. I don't hang out with ANY girls, and I skip school ALOT to be with him, and we've been thru alot. He pretty much told me though he wants me to quit school. I CAN'T. I told him 9th grade I'm going to cyber school to be with him too. I just want him to understand I can't fail 8th grade just like I did for 7th. He doesn't understand how much I care, and would do everything but that is just out of the question. There's so many consiquences. Uh. I love him more than anything and am so attached and I really NEED things to work. I need help, please?
I understand this question is semi hard to understand, and I'm sorry.
tyyyy in advv. (link)
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Yikes. No, no, no. This is wrong. You should not be with someone who cares more about himself than he cares about your future. That is not love, no matter what he says or what you think. When you love someone, you want the best for her. Love is not selfish. Love is not demanding that your girlfriend be there for you 24/7. Especially since you're only 14 and you've already struggled in school. School is the key to a successful future. If you do not graduate school, you will likely end up working fast-food.
You say you need things to work? What would happen if they didn't work out between the two of you? You'd graduate, socialize like a normal teenager, and get on with it. You'd feel sad, but you'd live. His behavior is NOT loving!
Here's the truth. No one is responsible for making sure you are successful in this life. The decisions you make now directly affect how successful you can be and you have to make the best choices for yourself. You need to put all of your effort into your education. If the boyfriend can accept that, then it's great. If he cannot, then he does not have your interests in mind and you should not be with him. Believe me, you will pay later if you give up your future for this man. The more you give, it seems, the more he demands of you. You say he doesn't understand how much you care. That is because his need is a bottomless hole which you cannot fill no matter how much you give.
My advice is to stop giving everything you are and all of your hopes, dreams, wishes, and future, to hold onto this man.
Sabine
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i am 14/f
this question is about someone i know, he is either 14 or 15, i'm not sure. i'll call him bob for now.
well -- during school, hes a good student. he kisses up to some teachers, you know, the teachers pet. he gets good grades and everything. he's a pretty nice person.
after school, he hangs out with one of MY friends, who is a normal person, meaning he has no influence on bob. bob gets abusive at times, fighting with my friend and my friend's brother, physically. bob even yells at my friends dogs.
he thinks he's all that.
my friend said he saw tons of nasal sprays, cough medicines, etc, on bob's night stand (he wasn't sick and it was random medicines) but he also saw some chewable tablets in bob's brother's room so i'm not sure if its a big deal.
bob hates almost everyone and almost everyone hates bob.
my friend sent me a conversation him and bob had on aim.my friend wasn't answering bob on aim so bob said "you're talking to (my name), aren't you?" bob told my friend that he hates me and my best friend, we're witches, we're going down in hell, etc. and he told MY FRIEND that hes going down WITH US. he said "get out while you can".
my friend has considered not being friends with bob. if he does this, bob's mom knows almost everyone else's parents, and whenever something happens, bob's mom tells everyone and everyone finds out about it. once, when my friend told bob he was tutoring, bob told his mom, and everyone started saying: "OMG, ARE YOU TUTORING FOR $50 AN HOUR???"
my questions are:
1. are his actions normal, or does he has a serious problem? (bipolar, etc.)
2. my friend has asked me if he should continue being friends with bob. what should i tell him?
(link)
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I disagree with the bipolar diagnosis. Most bipolar people have up times of hyperactivity where they're distractible, unable to sleep, impulsive, etc., and down times where they're depressed in mood and activity level. They are not 'split personality people.' That's a common misunderstanding. Dissociative Disorder is more what people think of as split personality, but a dissociative person usually has basically compartmentalized personalities, where both personalities do not answer to the same name, etc. But I don't think Bob has this.
What I think he likely has is a personality disorder, likely Borderline Personality Disorder or possibly antisocial. However, Bob may be just an ass. His mother is likely not helping by trying to be his social director and interfering with his relationships. No, it's not normal to have an explosive temper and start physical fights with one's friends.
However, no matter what Bob says about you or your best friend, why does your male friend put up with Bob? What difference would it make if Bob's Mom said something about your friend not being Bob's friend anymore. It sounds as if most people who might hear about it might simply roll their eyes and say 'I can't believe you lasted this long. Bob is a jerk.' Your friend should not be afraid to stand up for himself and let others know that he's not interested in being Bob's friend. A friendship is not a contract and can be cancelled at any time by either participant for any reason. He doesn't owe Bob friendship, particularly when Bob is being abusive.
You and your friends should simply stay away from Bob to the extent that you can.
Sabine
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ok so my best friend is a guy and after he broke up with his girlfriend 3 weeks ago we started a friends with benefits relationship. we've made out and a few other things. i've always had a crush on him and now i really really like him. ok so last week he said that at the next party we'd hook up because we havent seen each other in a while. so its the night of the party and i come into the room and he's cuddling with this whore who has been with every single one of my guy friends and now she's sprawled across my best friend. i was crushed and left the room after a dirty look to both of them. my guy friend sensed i was mad and pushed her off to come talk to me. he didn't know i liked him. then we talked and he told me that she liked him and he liked her a little but realized he only liked her for the attention he was getting. so that made me feel a tiny bit better knowing he only liked her for attention and not personality. i started crying because i didn't know how to tell him how much i liked him and he didn't know what to do so he just hugged me. the rest of the night was better because the whore left and he just stayed and talked to me but i couldn't look at him because i knew i'd start crying. later that night after we both left we talked on the phone and i told him i liked him and he apologized so many times and he started crying because he thought he "f***'ed up" my night. which he sort of did but i didn't tell him that. he said that he wished that girl never came because she always screws things up. at least he knows it. so now he doesn't like her. im so confused. i like him so much that its almost love but i know he's still grieving over his recently ended relationship. i knew him and his ex still have feelings for each other but agreed that it was over and done with so i told his ex about my feelings and she told me to go out with him.(his ex is also a good friend of mine). ok so the thing is today i was talking to him online and it was so akward, we had nothing to talk about. i think he started to like me but didn't think i'd like him back so i dont know what's going on there. my question is...finally...that i dont know how to start up a conversation again. he's my best friend and it's so weird not talking to him like we normally do. so how do i start a conversation with him and now that i asked his ex about going out with him i feel like we can start a relationship. but i dont know how to start it when i know he's still not ready for a relationship??? (link)
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I guess that I'd start off by saying that I was sorry and I had made a mistake : friends with benefits wasn't enough. I'd admit to having made the mistake of getting really into him. I'd express understanding that he may not be ready for a relationship right now and then I'd let him know that I dig him so much I'll wait until he shows interest (within reason). But I wouldn't do the FWB thing anymore. It won't help either of you get the closure and clarity you both need.
Keep positive. If he's worth it, things will all work out.
Sabine
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ive been having problems with my ankles for a very long time - they constantly crack and it can be very uncomfortable. then my shoulder started doing the same thing (after i had been training - and using weights) and now my knees hurt. my mom said she would take me to a doctor who specializes in joints but i am scared to death of needles and there is no way im going if they have to do any blood work. my mom said there may have to be blood taken. is anyone experienced enough with this to know if blood work is usually needed for this kind of thing? (link)
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Yeah, I see a rheumatologist and they do some blood work for me, but the doctor should examine you first and determine what you need. You may not need bloodwork. Some things can be diagnosed without needles. It wouldn't hurt to go see the doctor and then, if s/he tries to order bloodwork you can object at that time and ask if there are other ways to find out what's going on. It's possible that all you need is physical therapy or something. An orthopedic doc is probably a good one to go to as well, or possibly a sports medicine MD.
Either way, you're an athlete and you're used to sacrificing comfort in the short-term in order to get long-term gains. I know, a phobia is a phobia, but it might be easier to submit to a little bloodwork in order to save yourself pain in the long run. Nurses who know you have a needle phobia can help you by doing things like hiding the needle, having you lie down while you're getting the procedure done, etc.
Best wishes.
Sabine
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14/f
well i have a bf. well we've been 2gether 3 weeks 2day. well, i think i have a prob. everytime i get in2 a relationship all the guys wanna go with me. its hard becuz they r SOOOO fine. i made out with some1 last weekend and i told my bf. he 4gave me and i only have 1 more chance. i love my bf 2 death, but idk how 2 stop my prob... HELP ME!!!.,., thankz,
holla back at da snowbunny "abby n tyree" (link)
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Okay, 'insertrandomname', that was uncalled-for. The poster never said she's sleeping with *any* of these kids. She's 14, for heaven's sake!
That being said, it's not right to have a boyfriend if you can't stop thinking about being with other guys. You are not yet ready for a steady boyfriend. You need to be free to kiss (not screw) lots of boys before you settle on one. When you meet the right one, which is probably going to happen within the next couple of years, then you'll be ready for a committment. You're not ready now. My advice is that if you can't stop being attracted and finding yourself entangled with other guys, let your boyfriend know that you really like him and but that you're not ready for a committment yet. He should understand. Don't grow up too fast. There's nothing wrong with liking several guys!
Sabine
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My mom looked it up online and it said that if it doesn't go away within 3 days i have to go to my doctor. Are you a professional? (link)
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I've been working in the medical field as a physician's office nurse and in hospital settings for about 12 years.
Sabine
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My left breast is red and sore. It started to drip some kind of liquid. I have no idea what it is, but it doesn't seem normal. What's wrong with me? (link)
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Go to a doctor. You need to be seen. Breast discharge can mean many different things, from pregnancy to hormone imbalance to cancer to infection of the milk ducts. Don't take chances. Have it checked out immediately.
Sabine
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does anybody know if healing garden still sells the waters brand or whatever? i tried looking on the site and everywhere but no help. anyone know? and if so, where can i get it?? thanks!
ps. no ebay or online sites either (link)
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Hey. I looked all over that page also. I didn't come up with the answer, but what I did find is that Healing Gardens is a division of Coty. You can contact Coty here:
http://www.coty.com/WebContent.asp?CO=310&Sec=4&Sub=
1&F=Contact_Coty
and ask their customer service specifically. Otherwise, you may just need to call and speak with someone at a local Healing Garden or retailer.
Sabine
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eh my stomach has been hurting really bad i dont get my period for another 15 days or so. But this morning i got really sick and ended up waking up at 5am and throw up for like 10 mins. I layed around all day and couldnt get up i feel horrible. Whats wrong with me am i pregant? (link)
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Probably not. Usually pregnancy comes with nausea that comes and goes. It doesn't sound typical of what you're describing (though it could be). You should likely see a doctor because it could be something viral, like a stomach bug, something surgical, like appendicitis, or possibly morning sickness. We Advicinators are awesome, but we can't diagnose illness over the web.
Sabine
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im a 15/f and i was wondering where can i get a sterling silver claddagh ring thats less than about $25. (link)
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Please put the following link back together. I googled Claddagh ring and found this on the second page. It was easy.
http://www.amazon.com/Friendship-Claddagh-Sterling-
Silver-2601-6/dp/B0007ZQJ3U
Sabine
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