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Bad Advice
Do you remember when I told you about Marjorie the coworker who gives bad advice well she did it again she is very hostile. She told me that I should not have been a witness to the conversation Tania and Tanias boss had with Kathy. Marjorie would have told them no way is she going to get involved. Tania is my boss as well. How can I say no to my boss when she said she really needed me to be a witness to the conversation. (Here are some things Marjorie has said;:Margie (Marjorie lives and works about an hour from me(we work for the same company but different locations).We mostly talk on the phone but got together three times.I was telling Marjorie that in the department I work in the manager frowns if one goes next door to get something to eat or drink when it isnt your lunch hour and the coworkers in my department decided we may chip in & buy a coffee maker.Marjorie said Oh I think you should just buy one for yourself and if the people you work with start in with you that they want to make coffee from your coffee maker you should tell them well I have to check with the big boss. (Why would I do that. That is a good way to alienate all of my coworkers who I like). When my former boss from the same company wanted me to quit because he wanted his old secretary to come back tried to make my life a living hell, and in addition to making my life a living hell the exboss told me that either my job would go part-time or downsized Marjorie and she said to me oh you should ask him when your last day is. (Could you imagine if I asked him that is like saying ok i am ready to be fired). Marjorie does not like the idea of bosses (or exbosses) asking about her private life so when her boss and my ex boss asked what we did one of the times she and I got together she told them we went to a bar and I danced with a lampshade on my head (even though this was not true).
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There's no saying why Marjorie is so hostile. You will encounter hostile, bitter people in nearly every workplace for the rest of your life. There is usually at least one unhappy person in every situation. I had to learn by experience not to let that person's issues become my own. I could be her friend, but if she requested some change or something, she needed to ask for it on her own. I could not make her agenda mine (provided I could do my work the way things were). It could be that Marjorie doesn't feel she's being paid well. It could be that she doesn't like the job. It could be that she's been screwed over by a previous employer. It could be that she has a horrible life outside of work and is lonely and/or miserable. It could be that she's simply a negative person. I think it's really that she feels that your boss is too restrictive and she thinks you need to stand up for yourself and show disdain for the workplace to your co-workers. That is likely to get you fired.
I think I'd just smile at Marjorie's bad advice and do what I think is correct. You can just tell her that you needed to witness that conversation and that you hope she'll understand that it was something you were required to do. Let her know that you need your job and you're going to do what you can to keep it. She may not agree, but you can't be bucking the boss like she apparently feels is appropriate. Regarding the lampshade comment, if she does something like that again, if it were me and I were present, I'd just say "Oh, come on, Marjorie. Don't be silly. That was really YOU dancing with the lampshade." That way the person asking knows that s/he is getting a lighthearted joke rather than the truth and you get out of making your co-worker feel uncomfortable. You can also make up other things to say, like oh, yeah, we did that right after we did the louge down the Matterhorn. Again, people will get a chuckle out of it and know it's complete farce. If they really want to know, then you will have to decide whether to tell them the truth - we went to a movie and talked about how much we hate working here (or whatever you really did).
Handle Marjorie carefully. She is a casual friend and it's good to have friends, but not if they are encouraging you to do things that could cost you your job.
Sabine
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